HALLOWEEN XXX PORN PARODY

Halloween XXX Porn Parody is a great example of how porn can take a mainstream movie, remain faithful to the plot of the original version but seamlessly include hardcore sex scenes. Of course, the original Halloween movie had lots of references to sex, but skirted the edges without even including nudity. This made the movie a natural for a porn version (so natural, this is one of two parodies of the mainstream film). 

A few twists in the plot had to be made to include additional sex scenes, where no sexual situations existed in the original version. First there is a creation of a relationship between the nurse and Dr. Loomis as they are on the way to pick up Michael Myers from the mental institution, cue sex scene. The other added plot point comes near the end of the movie, where Laurie thinks the person under the ghost sheet is the boyfriend of Lynda and she has sex with him, only to find out it was really Michael Myers. Both these scenes fit flawlessly into the plot, even though the Michael Myers ghost sheet sex scene stretched the boundaries of believability.

The casting and acting (with only one exception, who I won't name here, but will be easy to spot when you watch the movie) was really good. Lily LaBeau in the lead role of Nancy held her own with Jamie Lee Curtis; Andy San Dimas was great as the perpetually horny Annie;l plus the always excellent Lexi Belle as Lynda, was good as P.J. Soles from the original movie. Hint to all you porn producers, I would love to see a parody of Rock n Roll High School starring Lexi in the P.J. Soles role.  A special nod to Marcus London as a dead-on Dr. Loomis. There were only two small flaws, in my opinion, with Halloween XXX Porn Parody - Michael Myer's mask was really bad, a few more dollars would have gotten a much better one, plus the Myers house didn't look dilapidated enough, but these are my only minor quibbles with the film. My grade for this movie A-

Superman XXX

Superman XXX - A Porn Parody starring Ryan Driller in the title role, with Andy San Dimas as Lois Lane, Alexis Texas as Miss Teschmacher, James Deen as Jimmy Olsen, Lexi Belle, Kristina Rose, Zoe Voss, Dale DaBone, Evan Stone, Alec Knight, Ben English, Dick Chibbles, Eric Masterson as the evil Lex Luthor and directed by Axel Braun.

The Plot: a re-imagined porn version of the 1978 Superman movie with an opening that's fairly close to the original movie as Zog, Ursa and Non are sentenced to The Phantom Zone with Zog yelling "Your heirs will kneel before me". The movie then skips over Superman as a youngster and goes straight to Clark Kent (Ryan Driller) flying to Metropolis to get a job at the Daily Planet. Flying the plane is Evan Stone with his co-pilot Alec Knight. Flight attendant Lexi Belle comes to check on them to see if they need anything. Being porn this, of course, leads to the first sex scene, which is only kept interesting by Evan Stone's ad-libbed (I'm assuming) comments. Returning to the plot, the plane blows an engine and is saved by Superman.

Next up we are at the Daily Planet and Perry White (Will Ryder) is obsessed with getting photos of the "flying man". Clark Kent has been hired as the new reporter and shortly after his arrival, Lex Luthor (the always great Eric Masterson) takes over the TV airways to let everyone know he has sent a rocket to destroy Metropolis. There's a funny bit here about Clark trying to find a place to change into his Superman costume. Superman catches the rocket and sends it soaring into space, where it blows up The Phantom Zone, releasing Zog and his two cohorts. This is actually a plot point that was discarded in the original production of Superman.

It seems Jimmy Olsen (James Deen) had talked the receptionist (Khristina Rose) into having sex with him before the city was destroyed. Once Superman destroys the rocket, Deen has to convince Rose there is a second rocket on the way which sets up the film for its second sex scene. James Deen not only made a great nerdy Jimmy Olsen, but he and Khristina provided the hottest sex scene in the movie.

Next scene up is Lex Luthor and Miss Teschmacher (Alexis Texas) as Lex frets that he can't destroy Metropolis until he destroys that man in red underwear. Miss Teschmacher tells Lex he needs to relax and unwind and when he agrees that's a good idea, this leads to the third sex scene of the movie. Eric Masterson was delightful, as always, as Lex and since he not only had to act but also have sex, I think that one ups Gene Hackman any day!

Zog, Ursa and Non drop from space to Earth and in a comedic bit of aliens not understanding (think 3rd Rock or Mork), they think The Daily Planet is the seat of Earth's government.When they arrive at the newspaper office and want to know who is in charge, Perry tells them Lois (Andy San Dimas) is the head writer. They assume that's the name of the World Leader and force Lois to kneel before Zog....cue next sex scene.

After that sex scene, Superman comes to the rescue and sends the villains back to The Phantom Zone. Superman tells Lois he'll see her in the news, but he shows up later on Lois' balcony, echoing the same scene from the original film. After taking Lois flying, the movie has its final sex scene with Superman and Lois. As Superman flies off, we find that Lex and Miss Teschmacher have been spying on the couple. Lex comments he has found Superman's one weakness (Lois) setting up for a sequel which I really hope happens, since Superman XXX was such a good production.


: The movie paid homage to the original plot and added in a lot of humor making for what I consider a true parody. All the acting was top notch as was the casting of the actor/performers. Even the few special effects were pretty good. The only thing wrong with Superman XXX were the long sex scenes, even though they did flow with the plot, they broke up the narrative too much. For this reason I"m grading Superman XXX an A, instead of an A+.

REZERVOIR DOGGS

 
Rezervoir Doggs starring Lizzy Borden, Kimberly Kane, Andy San Dimas, Chanel Preston, Tom Byron, Amber Rayne, Raylene, Tara Lynn Fox, Anthony Rosano, Dale DaBone, Xander Corvus and directed by General Stone (Rob Black)

The Plot:  Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs" with most of the lead roles switched from male to female.

 :  Calling this a parody is really misleading since at least 95% of the dialogue in Rezervoir Doggs is lifted straight from "Reservoir Dogs". Since the majority of the mainstream movie takes place in a warehouse it made for an easy set for the porn version. The production itself resembled what it would be like if your community theater put on their own version of "Reservoir Dogs"....well, except for the addition of sex scenes (unless you have a really avante garde local theater).

Most of the acting is passable, but the real standout in Rezervoir Doggs is Tom Byron in the role of Joe. He's so good, he could have easily played the role Lawrence Tierney had in the original film. Byron is really the only reason to see Rezervoir Doggs other than the curiosity of seeing what "Reservoir Dogs" would have been like with a primarily female cast and hardcore sex scenes. I grade the movie C-, I grade Tom Bryron A+.

ROCKY XXXX: A PARODY THRILLER

Rocky XXX - A Parody Thriller starring Anthony Rosano, Andy San Dimas, Lily Labeau, Mr. Marcus, Chastity Lynn, Tyler Knight, Jack Lawrence, Madison Ivy, Ron Jeremy, James Bartholet, Jack English and directed by Will Ryder.

The Plot: The first three Rocky movies are rolled into a two plus hour (143 minutes) porn re-imagined version.

: While not the greatest of parodies, Rocky XXX is certainly better than some of the quick cash-in parodies floating around. Anthony Rosano (who I've seen in way too many parodies) shows his impressionistic ability in copying Stallone's Rocky. Andy San Dimas makes a pretty good Adrian....until she takes here clothes off and we see San Dimas' tattoos which in no way fit with the shy character of Adrian who she is portraying. 

Rocky XXX hits enough of the high points of Rocky 1-3 to make a credible parody. Ron Jeremy even manages to play his non-sex role as Paulie straight without his usual "wink" to the camera. The sets are very minimal, but thankfully do not detract from the story. All in all not a bad parody and I grade it a C+. If I could only have figured why it had "A Parody Thriller" in the title I might have graded it a notch higher.

ELVIS - A PORN PARODY

Elvis - A Porn Parody starring J. Jay, Dale DaBone, Lexi Belle, Andy San Dimas, Alec Knight, Tyler Knight, Jessica Bangkok, Codi Carmichael, Jesse Palmer, Asa Akira, Ron Jeremy and directed by Alex Braun.


When I saw the title of this movie, I thought there wasn't a chance in Hell it would be any good. I even said to myself 'These parodies are getting out of hand" to which I replied to myself "Duh". To my delight, Elvis - A Porn Parody turned out to be a cut above most of the parodies out there. Although not noted, the film is really a parody of the documentary This Is Elvis, giving an overview of the life of Elvis...albeit this time with a porn slant.


Directed by Alex Braun (This Aint Star Trek #1 and This Aint' Star Trek #2) and starring Jay J as the younger Elvis and Dale DaBone as the older Elvis, the movie is also able to include other notable stars within the documentary framework: Ann-Margret (Lexi Belle), Priscilla Presley (Andy San Dimas), Mohammad Ali (Tyler Knight), Marilyn Monroe (Codi Carmichael), Natalie Wood (Jessie Palmer) and James Dean (James Deen - playing his namesake) and even Ron Jeremy makes an appearance as Elvis' second cousin (thrice removed).


While Jay J was good as young Elvis, it's Dale Dabone as the older Elvis who really got into his character. He must have really liked playing Elvis, since I saw he even went as Elvis to the AVN award show. It would be hard to single out the best supporting actor, everyone brought their "A" game, but Deen as Dean and Tyler as Ali really stood out in this excellent cast.


Elvis A Porn Parody had a progression that made logical sense, and since it was told in a documentary style, it could easily move from one facet of Elvis' life to the next and include a sex scene without looking as though it was shoved into the film. The Marilyn segment was the only exception. It was the last sex scene and it appeared rushed, like it was time to wrap things up and end the movie. There were several song parodies of Elvis' songs and a fair amount of humor sprinkled throughout the movie. I'm giving Elvis A Porn Parody a solid B.