Let's start with the story. No novel, fantasy or otherwise, moves the number of units that Eragon has without giving the readers some pretty compelling hooks to latch onto. The tale of the titular farm boy who stumbles over a dragon's egg and winds up forming a lifelong bond with its hatchling while fighting the bloodthirsty minions of an evil king has captivated hundreds of thousands of readers, but you'd never know it from playing the game. Gamers unfamiliar with the book will be utterly lost as they're hurled from one action sequence to the next, with only a handful of poorly produced cutscenes to stitch the whole mess together. Presumably it all makes more sense if you've seen the movie that it's based on, but the film doesn't hit theaters until December 15. Maybe the ambiguous storyline was an attempt to prevent the movie's plot elements from being spoiled prior to its release. If that was the logic behind it, then congratulations Vivendi, because I have no frickin' idea what I spent all that time doing, other than slaughtering bad guys by the trainload.
During the vast majority of the game, you're running around on foot, hacking and slashing, which starts out repetitive and only gets worse from there. It's far too easy to pull off ridiculously effective combos by simply alternating between light and heavy attacks in three-button combos. Take four seconds to learn the jump attack, and you've discovered a move that's unblockable to 99 percent of the enemies you'll face. You don't even need to master the blocking and counter system to make it past practically any encounter. There's also a half-assed magic system with a handful of spells, the most unintentionally hilarious of which is the fireball spell, which sets enemies alight and usually sends them running over cliffs, thanks to some underdeveloped AI. Worst of all, although weapon and armor upgrades are handed out arbitrarily, you never learn a single additional melee attack during the entire game, so the already uninspired combat becomes downright tiresome about three hours in.
Fortunately, that's pretty much the halfway point. Yes, if you've ever played a video game in your life, you'll have the skills necessary to see and do all there is to see and do in Eragon in one long afternoon. There's maybe a half dozen hours' worth of gameplay, including the two 360-exclusive bonus levels, and no replayability to speak of. It's remarkably linear, and giant "do this/go here" icons pop up constantly, making it practically impossible to lose your way. You can't revisit previously completed levels, and while there is a drop-in/drop-out co-op play mode (which makes even awful games slightly better), it's just the same single-player adventure, and there is no online play. The only hidden items in the game are collectable dragon eggs, one per level. Finding these eggs doesn't unlock bonus levels, new characters or alternate play modes; they unlock bonus content like developer movies and -- get this -- an image of an ad for the book and the movie.