The Legend of Conan, How Excited should we be?

I received my copy of the Fall 2012 REH Foundation Newsletter today. As usual, it contains items of interest to the REH nut. What caught my attention right off was "The Letter from the Board" in which the "...recent announcement of the new movie The Legend of Conan, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger" was discussed.

This is old news to Crom! readers. Mikeyboy pointed us to the breaking news way back on 10/26.

As reported in Reuters, Legend (the most current working title I know of) is based upon the 1982 film staring Arnold and ignores Conan the Destroyer and the 2011 Conan the Barbarian. This means by default that it is only nominally based upon the writings of Bob Howard.

REH purists may rage, but I'm okay with it and I love me some REH. My wife calls it one of my many unhealthy addictions (I find it and many of my other addictions very healthy). It is my truest desire that Schwazenegger's involvement in a long anticipated film will bring new readers to the Conan/REH front and being that I am not a purist, I say bring on some new pastiche! And of course I hope that by summer 2014 Dark Horse Comics will smother us with new Conan/REH titles.

Again quoting from the latest Foundation "Long ago there was a poll, which asked what had brought people to read REH for the first time. Almost a third of those readers came to REH because of Conan the Barbarian". While my first experience with Conan was Marvel's Savage Sword of Conan, it was without a doubt Arnan which made me a Conan and REH fan for life. Furthermore, "An additional benefit...may be that more movie and TV interest in other REH creations will be generated". Here here! I truly hope so.

It may not be REH, but it can still be great and for a wonderful account of what The Legend of Conan should and should not be, check out this great post at The Conan Movie Blog. Read it, then come back. Good stuff wasn't it? And much of it I agree with, even though the concept of putting Conan in the corner is tough to take, in the context of Arnan's age it makes complete sense and I agree with the blogger, don't try to hide the age issue, we are too smart for that. The concept of Conan's son taking center stage is intriguing and combing through the possibilities of who could play that role riles up my nerd.

So how excited should we be? As excited as we dare.

Quotes, Facts and Scenes from the Worlds of REH: Howard's "Suicide Note" II

I thought I might share this for those that missed it. In my previous post on Howard's "suicide note", a comment was supplied by CROM! reader Biopunk. Biopunk supplied a link to an issue of Marvel Comics Epic Illustrated that showed engagingly just how well the myth of Howard's suicide note has been adopted as common knowledge. 


Thank you Mr. Biopunk!

The REH Foundation Newsletter

Spring 2012 and Summer 2012

Hello CROM! readers. I have been silent lately, and for that I apologize, but my career has kept me uber busy. Also, my recent reading of Mark Finn's Blood & Thunder has placed me on a biography reading kick. Right now I am immersed in S.T. Joshi's H.P. Lovecraft: A Life. Joshi's book has also spun me onto several side quests involving reading Lovecraft material I have not read in ages, and in some cases never have. More on that in the future.

In a recent post, I mentioned that I made the decision to join the Robert E. Howard Foundation. If you're not familiar with them, please take the time to check them out at their site, as they have a mission that is important to me.

At the level of membership I am at, I receive their newsletter as it becomes available. I came home from my recent business travels to discover that in my absence, I received two issues of the newsletter, Spring 2012 number 1 and Summer 2012 number 2 (both volume 6). Both issues are 18 pages in length, printed on good quality paper. The newsletter is standard 8 1/2 x 11 inches.

I have been looking forward to perusing the newsletters. They are a treat for the Howard fan. To illustrate why, I present the content pages of both issues so the reader will have an idea of what kind of articles/contents are in a typical issue:

Spring 2012

Summer 2012

I can offer a few comments on the contents of both issues. With the sad passing of Glenn Lord in December 2011, there is an expected amount of Lord content. I particularly liked Rusty Burke's essay, "Glenn Lord, 1931-2011".  Most, if not all newsletters feature original Howard content. These two issues feature: "The Door to the Garden" (an incomplete tale first published in Fantasy Crosswinds #2 [Stygian Isle Press, 1977], then later completed by Joseph F. Pulver and published in Nameless Cults [Chaosium, 2001] as "The Door to the World"--this is the version I have read in the past); the poem "A Rattlesnake Sings in the Grass" (previously unpublished and found in Glenn Lord's collection after his death); "Brachan the Kelt" (an incomplete James Allison tale previously published only twice before, 1981's The Barbarian Swordsmen and 1998's "New" Howard Reader #1). In all cases for these two issues, the original Howard content is presented as clear, easy to read photo copies of Howard's original typescript. For me, that is like looking into a camera lens and viewing the past. Way cool. 

The other contents of both issues are rounded out with news and events of interest to the Howard fan, biographical information and items such as a school paper about athletics that Howard wrote in 1921 for a school project, and this is a photo copy of the original paper and is written in Howard's long-hand cursive script. Again, I really enjoy things like that. There are also newly discovered photos either of or pertaining to Robert E. Howard. I particularly enjoyed three photos of Howard goofing as a pirate with his neighbors, the brother and sister Leroy and Faustine Butler.

I wish I could in good conscience share these items with you, but I do not feel I have the permission to do so. I am a big fan of Howard's poetry, so the opportunity to read a poem by Bob ("A Rattlesnake Sings in the Grass") that I have not encountered before, is well worth the price of admission alone. 

I encourage you, if you are a Bob Howard nut such as myself to visit the above link to the REH Foundation, and become a member. 

Quotes, Facts and Scenes from the Worlds of REH: Howard's "Suicide Note"

I love reviewing and sharing literature about or inspired by Conan and/or Robert E. Howard himself; however, those posts are not a quick write. I wanted to do something I can do quickly and more frequently for the readers of CROM. In these posts you will find sometimes favorite scenes, quotes or facts pertaining to either Conan, REH or both.

This post refers to REH's "Suicide Note".

The myth goes like this, after Howard committed suicide, a page was found in his type writer with the following couplet:

All fled, all done, so lift me on the pyre;

   The feast is over and the lamps expire.


This is false on two fronts. First off, the couplet was not found in his typewriter. That is just one of many myths that have spawned from Howard's suicide. The couplet was on a typed piece of paper that Howard had in his wallet. The couplet was not actually by Howard. It is from "The House of Caesar" by Viola Garvin. 

Here is the poem in it entirety:

Yea — we have thought of royal robes and red. 
Had purple dreams of words we utterèd; 
Have lived once more the moment in the brain 
That stirred the multitude to shout again. 
All done, all fled, and now we faint and tire —
The Feast is over and the lamps expire! 

Yea — we have launched a ship on sapphire seas, 
And felt the steed between the gripping knees; 
Have breathed the evening when the huntsman brought 
The stiffening trophy of the fevered sport —
Have crouched by rivers in the grassy meads 
To watch for fish that dart amongst the weeds. 
All well, all good — so hale from sun and mire —
The Feast is over and the lamps expire! 

Yet — we have thought of Love as men may think, 
Who drain a cup because they needs must drink; 
Have brought a jewel from beyond the seas 
To star a crown of blue anemones. 
All fled, all done — a Cæsar's brief desire —
The Feast is over and the lamps expire! 

Yea — and what is there that we have not done, 
The Gods provided us 'twixt sun and sun? 
Have we not watched an hundred legions thinned, 
And crushed and conquered, succorèd and sinned? 
Lo — we who moved the lofty gods to ire —
The Feast is over and the lamps expire! 

Yea — and what voice shall reach us and shall give 
Our earthly self a moment more to live? 
What arm shall fold us and shall come between 
Our failing body and the grasses green? 
And the last heart that beats beneath this head —
Shall it be heard or unrememberèd? 
All dim, all pale — so lift me on the pyre — 
The Feast is over and the lamps expire!


The hardest truth about Howard's suicide is this: he did not leave a suicide note. Had he done so, there may have been far less speculation about his choice, and far fewer myths.

Blood & Thunder: The Life and Art of Robert E. Howard

Front Cover

Recently, my day job has not left me much time for posting, but of course Conan, REH and his works keep a heavy rotation in my reading list. A few weeks ago I made the decision to join the Robert E. Howard Foundation; at the same time, I ordered Mark Finn's Blood & Thunder: The Life and Art of Robert E. Howard. The following is not so much of a review as it is a capsule recommendation. I plan to share more from this book in the future.

Finn's book is one that I have wanted to read ever since it was first published, but for one reason or another, had not obtained a copy. I should not have waited so long to do so.

Back cover

Much of Finn's research comes from the letters of REH to various others (Howard's letters to H.P. Lovecraft being one source that is frequently quoted from). While L. Sprague de Camp's biography of REH is not in favor with many Howard fans (I myself have never read de Camp's book, so do not feel I can comment upon it), de Camp did do a number of interviews with people who knew REH and those interviews are utilized by Finn as well.

Finn does much in these pages to give an honest account of REH. He debunks many of the myths started by L. Sprague de Camp and others. The focus of the book is to show that REH was first and foremost a Texan story-teller of Tall Tales. Finn's  thesis is strong and well presented.

For the Conan fans, there is a chapter devoted entirely to the creation and writing of the original Conan stories. Warning, Finn admits that Conan is not his favorite character, nor group of stories; however, I would say they get fair treatment.

Blood & Thunder has many great photographs and quotations from Howard's letters and poetry. For these alone, the book was worth the price of admission. While I am at least a layman to the letters of Howard and his poetry, Finn's research has encouraged me to seek out more of the same.

I could give you a chapter blow by blow of Finn's book, but frankly, I would much rather just say that I enjoyed it and believe that all REH fans should give themselves the opportunity to enjoy it as well.

Signed and numbered

Robert E. Howard's The Coming of Conan Collection Makes NPR's List of 100 Greatest Science Fiction and Fantasy Books!

In fact, it was #68. As an avid Fantasy (and some science fiction) reader, I agreed and disagreed with various entries on this list. For example, Terry Pratchett's Discworld should have been included as a full series, much like Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series was. Of course, I don't think Wheel of Time should have been included at all, since it's a listless pile of shit, unlike is rousing and endlessly entertaining Conan pastiches.

Anyway, congrats REH. Once again, you've proven to be a king among lesser men.

Read the full list HERE.

REH Days! June 10th - 11th!

For those of you who may be interested, REH Days are taking place next weekend in Cross Plains, Texas, celebrating our favorite pulp author, Robert E. Howard!

For more info, click HERE.

Happy Birthday to Robert E. Howard

Yesterday, January 22nd marked Robert E. Howard's birthday and I feel a little bad for mentioning this a day late, but I'm a busy guy. Anyway, a very heart-felt Happy Birthday to the great pulp writer and creator of my favorite hero, Conan the Barbarian! Just think, he'd be 103 years old today if he hadn't committed suicide that fateful day in 1936. A great writer and an even greater loss. I can't help but wonder what other great stories he would have written about Conan, Kull, Cormac and Solomon Kane if he had lived long enough to further his career. I wonder how different Conan would be now? Just something to think about.

Conan Ain't No Dummy!

Hail, Fellow Conan Fans!

It's been a while since I last posted. Sorry about that. I've been busy over at my other blog, Geek Orthodox, and slammed with work, so I don't always get a chance to sit down and write about my favorite Cimmerian warrior.

But a good friend of mine hipped me to this great article from Tor.com, written by Douglas Cohen about the fact that over the years, people have tended to regard the Conan character as an oafish, stupid thug. We all know that he's one smart cookie, (I mean, he functionally speaks like, seven different languages!) but it's nice to read an article that brings the point home.

Here's some of my favorite points from the article:

Those unfamiliar with the original tales came to think of Conan as a stupid barbarian. While there’s no debating the barbarian aspect, Conan is far from stupid. Those who consider him as such clearly haven’t read Howard’s original tales. Instead, they’re believing in an unconscious public perception that is straining the character down to its simplest inaccurate depiction.

The first time we meet Conan, he is a king and still a powerful man. But this supposedly mindless barbarian isn’t chopping off heads, making war, drinking himself into a stupor, or pleasuring himself upon every wench available. Instead, he’s filling in the missing spaces on a map. The mapmakers aren’t nearly as well traveled as he is, and so Conan is bringing his vast knowledge to improve upon their faulty geography.

Before Conan led the revolt that allowed him to wrest the jeweled crown of Aquilonia from the mad king Numedides, he was general of this country’s armies, the greatest fighting force in the world. Generals are not stupid men. Quite the opposite, in fact. Consider also that during his lifetime Conan was adaptive enough to rule among a wide variety of men and cultures, from desert outlaws, to both inland sea & ocean pirates, to jungle savages. Each scenario requires a different set of survival skills. In the original stories we witness Conan fall in love, too, meaning he is capable of more than wenching. But he is a man who believes in living life to its fullest, and given the sort of world he lives in and his background, this is how he does it. All these various experiences made him ready to assume the throne of Aquilonia.

That's right, by Crom!

Anyway, you can read the full article HERE. Enjoy!