The Goof is in the Pudding: Hip Hop Happy Easter

Green Pompom Bow Barrette

Dress: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Forever Link, Zulily

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Sunglasses: JCPenney

Necklaces: The Tote Trove

This isn't my Easter outfit.  This is:

And if you look very closely, you can see that I'm wearing last Easter's Fabulous Felt Ham Dinner Barrette (as a brooch) and one of my Pink Bopp rings:

 Fabulous Felt Ham Dinner Barrette

Pink Bopp Ring (the one on the right :)

Still, the pink pompom on my new Green Pompom Bow Barrette sort of says Peter Cottontail.  As for the feathers on my hat, well, they say something else.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Easter is my favorite holiday.  The food is fab, the outfits are spring sweet, and the world is just waking up.  All of which makes me more thankful than I am at Thanksgiving, when the celebration is centered on a big dead bird and the world's slipping into a coma.    

So, why do I think Easter eats are so yummy?  Um, ham and cheese please.  Also, chocolate.  Lots of it.  See Exhibit A, otherwise known as brownie trifle:

Now, you know I don't like to cook.  Which is why this dessert more or less came from a box.  First, the Betty Crocker brownie mix box, then the JELL-O pudding mix box.  Although the whipped cream, I'm happy to report, came fresh from a -- no, not cow -- carton.  But if it were up to me I wouldn't have used Betty Crocker.  I don't know if you know this, but Betty is a bad bitch.  And not in an empowering way, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Doctor Barbie.  But in a straight up what's-up-with this formula, lady? way.  Because Betty's brownies almost always come out dry.  Not like Duncan Hines's, which are always your moist delicious best (pause for trademark ding).  Is this a slight slam at feminism?  Maybe.  Also at ShopRite for being out of Duncan.  But batter doesn't lie.  Anyhoo, I did what I always do when I feel a dish -- or anything, for that matter -- is lacking, which is make it pretty.  And in this case, add Peeps.   

Here's hoping you have a very hoppy Easter with your peeps.  And when I say hoppy I'm just taking advantage of an easy pun.  I in no way endorse post-ham potato sack races.  Because I don't want anyone tripping and hitting his or her head and ending up in a coma.

Save that for Thanksgiving.  It needs it.     

Tanks Very Much JCP and Happy Thanksgiving

 Daisy Chain Jane Necklace

Tank: JCPenney

Cami: Worthington, JCPenney

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Nordstrom

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

 Dandy Candy Necklace

Tank: JCPenney

Cami: Worthington, JCPenney

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Winged Bling Necklace

Tank: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Cami: Worthington, JCPenney

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Apt. 9., Kohl's

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

 Mushroom Madness Necklace

Tank: Worthington, JCPenney

Cami: JCPenney

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Michaels

There are few clothing combos more iconic than jeans and a tee shirt.  Unless, of course, it's jeans and a tank top.  So on this Turkey Day, I'm taking a moment to give thanks to JCPenney and the four tank tops it sold me, as well as this single pair of denim jeggings from Kohl's.  (For the record, I'm also thankful for the Goodwill-bound bag of clothes hibernating in my trunk, as its mighty kilt recently rescued me from a wardrobe malfunction.)  Simple and streamlined, these wardrobe basics let the accessories do the talking.  And what a lot they have to say, all of it cranberry-centric in honor of this elastic waist pants day of days that we call Thanksgiving (or, if you happen to be semi-vegan Jesse Eisenberg, then Thanks-living, as told two weeks ago to an incredulous Conan).  But first, a rundown of the players:

Daisy Chain Jane = Daisy (not Jane, although I fought the pull of Plain Jane puns something powerful)

Dandy Candy = Candy (obviously)

Winged Bling = Peggy (do not call her Margaret, or for that matter, horsey, no matter how many apple pies she eats)

Mushroom Madness = Maria (the Super Mario Brothers' long-lost sister)

Daisy prefers her cranberries crunchy and unsweetened but will indulge in these Cranberry Hootycreeks* on special occasions.  That's why I made them despite my fear of baking (and of white chocolate).

Then there's Candy, who will eat only the most artificial of cranberries, a.k.a. those that come gelled in a can.  Ocean Spray serves them up sweet in this limited-time retro version stacked in a wall that Warhol would love.  Crave the wave indeed.

Peggy doesn't believe in cranberries because, as she says, they don't believe in her.  

And Maria?  She doesn't care about cranberries.  Even if she is a mush.  She's concerned with only her own preservation, urging diners everywhere to forgo mushrooms and "leave the fungus in the forest."  (The husband shares her sentiment, having uttered these very words to me at dinner last night.)

Which brings us to these chatterbox charms from the past and present (there's a fungus among us, er, them) as well as a sneak speak at a few from the future (I'm talking to you, out-of-season fruit salad).
A free can of cranberry sauce to anyone who wants to surmise what they'll say.**

*Cranberry Hootycreeks (I don't where this name came from, but I'm fairly certain that it has nothing to do with Hootie and the Blowfish.  Although I wish it did.)

Ingredients:

5/8 cup flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 1/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 cup light brown sugar

1/3 cup white sugar

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup white chocolate chips

1/2 cup chopped pecans

1/2 cup butter

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease cookie sheet.  Beat 1/2 cup butter, egg, and vanilla until fluffy.  Add other ingredients and mix together until well-blended. Drop heaping spoonfuls onto cookie sheet 2" apart.  Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until edges are lightly browned.  Cool for two minutes.

**I was kidding about the free cranberry sauce.  Contrary to the photo, I'm not hoarding a superkmarket's worth in my house.  For the time being, I hoard only clothes.  And unicorns.

Something New and Sparkly: Sugar High and Two Kinds of Pie

 Fabulous Felt Candy Barrette

Top: Kohl's

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Barefeet Shoes

Bag: Delia's

 Fabulous Felt Chocolates in a Heart Barrette

Top: Kohl's

Skirt: SugarPop Clothing, Etsy

Shoes: Dolce by Mojo Moxy, Kohl's

Bag: Glamour Damaged, Etsy

Belt: Wet Seal

Fabulous Felt Gumball Machine Barrette

Top: Marshalls

Skirt: Boscov's

Shoes: Barefeet Shoes

Bag: Marshalls

Scarf: Marshalls

Key Lime Pie 

Cool 'n Easy Strawberry Pie

Did you ever notice how many novelty items and fashion accessories are modeled after desserts?  Probably, as it's kind of a no brainer.  Still, I was never so aware of the treat trend until I started selling on Etsy.  There cheerful colors, playful shapes, and the promise of something delicious all add up to a buffet of irresistibly scrumptious style.  So, to keep the sugar fest going, I decided to top off my barrette pics with these two JELL-O pies I made this weekend.  They're so bright and plasticy that they look as if they should be part of a little girl's tea party set or maybe even dangling from a necklace.  I'm pretty sure I blogged about the key lime pie recipe before, but that was years ago, and goodness knows there's no easy way to find back posts on this blog, so here it is again along with the one for the strawberry pie:

Key Lime Pie (from I Could Go for Something JELL-O)    

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cups boiling water

1 large pkg lime JELL-O

2 teaspoons grated lime peel

1/4 cup lime juice

1 pint vanilla ice cream

1 prepared graham cracker crust

Directions:

Stir boiling water into JELL-O in large bowl for at least 2 minutes or until completely dissolved.  Stir in lime peel and juice.  Stir in ice cream until melted and smooth.  Refrigerate 15 to 20 minutes or until mixture is very thick and will mound.  Spoon into crust.  Refrigerate 2 hours or until firm. Garnish as desired.

Cool 'n Easy Strawberry Pie (also from I Could Go for Something JELL-O)

Ingredients:

2/3 cup boiling water

1 small pkg strawberry JELL-O

1/2 cup cold red juice or water

Ice cubes

1 8-oz tub Cool Whip

1 prepared graham cracker crust

Directions:

Stir boiling water into JELL-O in large bowl for at least 2 minutes or until completely dissolved.  Mix juice or water and ice to make 1 cup.  Add to JELL-O, stirring until slightly thickened.  Remove any remaining ice.  Stir in whipped topping until smooth.  Refrigerate 10 to 15 minutes or until mixture is very thick and will mound.  Spoon into crust.  Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm.  Just before serving, garnish with fruit and additional whipped topped if desired. 

If there's anything I've learned about making JELL-O recipes over the years, it's to always go for the garnish.  Because without the aid of artfully squirted Reddi-Whip and well-placed fruit, everything pretty much looks like the same unappetizing mystery mess.  Here's to avoiding the mystery.     

Pudding for Pops

Holiday time means dessert time, so for Father's Day I went bananas.  With Banana Layered Pie, a recipe from one of my many JELL-O cookbooks, JELL-O: Fun and Fabulous Recipes (just $2.99 from the Book Cellar!).  As I always say, you can't beat a cool, no-bake treat for speed, ease, and taste.  And this time the end product actually ended up looking a little like the picture.  (Unlike the Memorial Day melba disaster.  But then, the root of that ruckus was the always-a-cause-for-chaos, do-it-yourself crust.  This time I stuck with Keebler's.)  We haven't dug in yet (as the day's festivities haven't started), but I remain optimistic.  Here are the how-to's:

Ingredients

2 1/4 cups milk
1 6-serving size pkg vanilla pudding
1 9" prepared graham cracker crust
2 bananas
1/2 cup Cool Whip
Lemon juice (In the name of laziness, I used that processed stuff in the plastic lemon.)

Directions 

Pour milk into bowl.  Add pudding mix.  With an electric mixer at low speed, beat until blended, about 1 minute.  Pour 1/2 cup of the pudding into pie shell.

Slice 1 banana and arrange the slices on top of the pudding.  Top with 3/4 cup of the pudding.

Blend Cool Whip into the remaining pudding.  Spread over the pudding in the pie shell.  Chill about 3 hours. Slice the remaining banana and brush the slices with lemon juice (to prevent them from turning brown).  Garnish the pie with the extra Cool Whip and arrange the bananas in the center.

Melba for Memorial Day

Instead of the usual patriotic strawberry and blueberry dessert, I went with this (albeit historically British) peach melba Creamy Layered Peach Squares concoction.  And in the making of it I came to terms with something: try as I might, I will never be one of those women who is truly at home in the kitchen (not even when working with my beloved JELL-O).  Around ten o'clock last night I was spreading the cream cheese/Cool Whip/sugar layer over the graham cracker crust layer only to have the buttery graham cracker crumbs refuse to stay put and get all caught up in the cream cheese like so many toast crumbs ruining perfectly good butter.  The harder I tried to prevent it from happening, the worse and more unappetizing-looking it got.  The bf heeded my calls of distress, coming to my rescue with a spatula and more patience than I could hope to muster.  He managed to achieve an at least even if somewhat crumby (pun intended, ha ha) cream cheese terrain upon which I could later layer the raspberry JELL-O and Cool Whip mixture. 

My culinary shortcomings aside, I have trouble believing that even the most careful of cooks could craft the perfect "square" (single serving size) specimen featured on the cook book cover.  JELL-O is just too, well, gelatinous a substance to assume the image of a plastic-perfect faux dessert worthy of a diner display case.

That said, I hope that the end result will be tasty enough to make up for its lack of plate appeal.  Here are the ingredients and the how-to's that gave me such grief:

Ingredients:

2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/2 cup sugar, divided
1 stick melted butter
1 1/2 packages 8 oz cream cheese
1 8-oz tub Cool Whip
3 large fresh peaches peeled and sliced (I used 2 cans of peaches.  What's canned fruit for if not JELL-O recipes?)
1 1/2 cups boiling water
2 cups ice cubes

Directions:

Mix the graham cracker crumbs, 1/4 cup sugar, and the butter in a 13" x 9" pan and press the crumbs into the bottom of the pan.  Beat the cream cheese and remaining sugar in a medium bowl until well blended.  Whisk in 1 1/2  cups Cool Whip and spread over the graham cracker crust.  Top with peaches (in my case, 1 can).  Refrigerate until ready to use.  Dissolve raspberry JELL-O mix in boiling water.  Stir in ice cubes until melted.  Refrigerate for 5 minutes, or until thickened.  Whisk in remaining Cool Whip and spread over peach layer.  Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm.  Garnish with fresh raspberries and peach slices (this is where can number 2 came in).

Time to Make the Donuts

I got this too-cute mini donut maker for Christmas and decided to put it through its paces for Easter.  Now, I feel the need to specify that there was no frying involved, which I suppose makes the end product more like donut-shaped pancakes than anything else.  But they were still tasty, not to mention pretty, easy to make, and relatively wholesome, so I didn't mind.  Should you ever find yourself in possession of a donut maker, here's the recipe (courtesy of the good people at Sunbeam):

Ingredients:

Batter

1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
9 tablespoons butter, melted
3/4 cup milk
1 egg, lightly beaten

Icing

2 cups confectioners sugar
2 1/2 tablespoons milk
2-3 drops food coloring

Directions:

Preheat donut machine.  Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Make a well in the center.  Whisk in the butter, milk, and egg until mixture forms a smooth batter.  Transfer to a pitcher or fabric piping bag.  (I dispensed with this step but see how it could make things easier.)  Spray donut machine with cooking oil.  Fill bases of preheated donut rings with half of the batter.  Close lid and cook for 5 minutes or until donuts are golden and cooked.  Use a non-stick spatula to transfer donuts to a wire rack (if you happen to have such a fancy-schmancy apparatus.  I just used a plate.)  Repeat with remaining batter to make 10 donuts in total.

For the icing, sift the confectioners sugar into a medium bowl.  Stir in enough milk to make a soft, spreadable icing.  Divide icing evenly among 3 glass bowls.  Add a few drops of your choice of food coloring to each bowl.  Stir to combine, then drizzle or spread over cooled donuts.

Cranberry JELL-O Mold

I realize that this isn't a mold.  Oddly enough, an appropriately-shaped version of this Thanksgiving family favorite never featured in my childhood.  But I'm okay with that, just as I'm okay with posting this admittedly unappetizing picture.  Because I know that fruity refreshment resides within the confines of that homely Pyrex bowl.  If you too "crave the wave" of cranberry goodness (please don't sue, Ocean Spray), then here are the fixin's you'll need:

Ingredients:

1 small can crushed pineapple
1 small can mandarin oranges
1 3-oz package raspberry JELL-O
1/2 cup boiling water
1 16-oz can jellied cranberry sauce
1 cup whipped cream

Directions:

Drain pineapple juice and reserve.  Add 1/2 cup of boiling water to the pineapple juice.  Dissolve the JELL-O in 1 cup of pineapple juice and boiling water.  Add the cranberry sauce and let it gel for about half an hour, or until slightly thick.  Then fold in the oranges, pineapple, and whipped cream.  Let gel for at least 24 hours.

You can also garnish and/or serve with additional whipped cream, which I did (although it's not pictured). 

Spinach Quiche

In an effort to include some healthier (i.e., more vegetable-rich) meals in my repertoire, I sat down and trolled Cooks.com.  This simply-named Spinach Quiche looked easy and harmless enough (save for the nutmeg, which I omitted), so I printed it out, added the ingredients to my grocery shopping list, and gave it a try this evening.  It wasn't until I was halfway through making it that I remembered I'd made (and blogged about) Paula Dean's Crustless Spinach Quiche earlier this year.  Of course, that version had been laden with sour cream, cottage cheese, and grated Parmesan in addition to the lonely cheddar included in this recipe and could hardly be counted as healthy.  Listen to me; I try one leafy green dish and all of a sudden I'm one of those self-righteous health nut know-it-alls.  My sincerest apologies.  Now, on to the recipe.

Ingredients:

4 eggs
Slightly more than 1/2 cup milk (Typing this I suddenly realize I . . . forgot . . . the . . . milk!)
1/2 tsp salt
Sprinkle of nutmeg (not for me, but to each his/her own)
Black pepper to taste
1 box frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed out well (I cooked mine)
1/3 cup chopped onion (Catching sight of me about to do battle with the onion in my craft goggles, the bf stepped in and gallantly took over.  And yes, I now have craft goggles.  More on that [much] later.)
1 9-inch frozen pie shell or quiche pan
1 cup shredded Swiss cheese (I detest Swiss cheese, so reduced-fat cheddar it was.)

Directions:

Sprinkle onion in shell or on pan.  Mix cheese, eggs, milk, and spices together.  Pour into crust or pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for about half an hour.  (Insert knife into center to check.  If it comes out clean, then it's done.)      

So, how was it?  Especially without the milk?  Delicious!  Albeit a tad dense.  But that could be owing to the extra 1/2 cup cheese I added. (I wanted to use up the contents of an already-opened bag.)     

JELL-O Easy Patriotic Pie

 This is what this pie is supposed to look like.  Notice its smooth, perfect JELL-O and Cool Whip layers.

 And here's the delightful little dessert pamphlet from which this recipe came.  Notice the perfection of the JELL-O and Cool Whip layers in the cover dish also.

And here's what my pie looks like.  All messy and unsmooth.  Now, I realize you can't see the layers.  I considered waiting until it was hacked into to post this so you could have a look at them in all of their patriotic and misshapen glory.  But then I thought, who am I kidding?  I'm not going to remember to do that, and anyway, who wants to look at a picture of a half-eaten pie?

I made this pie because I'm going to a Labor Day BBQ today and wanted to bring something festive and easy.  So I turned to one of my many JELL-O cookbooks (which is something of a misnomer since none of these recipes actually involve cooking) and plucked out this seemingly impossible-to-mess-up selection.  I do hope it will be tasty but cannot make any promises at this early date.  Still, if you want to make it, here's how.

Ingredients: 

1 1/2 cups boiling water, divided
1 3-oz package Berry Blue JELL-O
1 3-oz package Strawberry (or any red flavor, as they all taste the same) JELL-O
1 cup ice cubes, divided
1 6-oz prepared graham cracker pie crust
1 cup Cool Whip

Directions:

Add 3/4 cup boiling water to blue JELL-O; stir 2 minutes or until completely dissolved.  Add 1/2 cup ice cubes; stir until melted.  Pour into crust; refrigerate 5 to 10 minutes, or until set but not firm.  Meanwhile, repeat to dissolve red JELL-O in a separate bowl.  Stir in remaining ice cubes.  Cool five minutes or until slightly thickened.  Spread Cool Whip over blue JELL-O layer, then cover with red JELL-O.  Refrigerate 2 hours or until set.

Fish Cakes

I made these cupcakes for my work BBQ because 1) they were easy, 2) they wouldn't wilt in the sun, and 3) they were fun!

I first attempted to make the "sand" by putting a bunch of Nilla wafers in a plastic baggie and smashing it against the wall. This turned out to be a not so good idea, as my violence created a hole in the bag, sending a shower of cookie crumbs all over the kitchen. "Try a rolling pin," the bf suggested. So I filled a second baggie with cookies and passed the rolling pin over it on the kitchen table. Wonder of wonders, it worked.

Cheesy Chicken and Dumplings

What is it about dumplings? I hadn't made this Cheesy Chicken and Dumplings casserole in ages, and as soon as I took a bite, I thought, why don't I make dumplings more often? It's not as if I make them from scratch -- they're only Bisquick and water! Yet, they're just as tasty as the stuff that takes forever. I think. I mean, I've never made the stuff that takes forever . . .

But anyway. This recipe is super easy. The first time I made it, I didn't think so. I was confused by the timing or something. But when I made it last week I thought, how can anyone possibly be confused by a dish this simple? That gives you an idea of how far I've come in the kitchen! So, without further ado, here's the how-to:

Ingredients:

4 boneless chicken breasts (I used those pre-pounded thin ones, which feel like less of a lead weight in your stomach and -- bonus! -- make for quicker cooking)
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
Salt and pepper to taste (Whatever that means. I just used two shakes of Jane's Crazy Salt.)
1 1/4 cup shredded cheddar
For the dumplings:
2 cups Bisquick
2/3 cups milk

Directions:

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Bake chicken breasts for 35 minutes (I changed it to 25 on account of the less substantial chicken). Meanwhile, combine the chicken soup, sour cream, milk, salt, and pepper. Pour over chicken once the 35 or 25 minutes are up. Sprinkle with cheese. Put back in the oven. Mix the Bisquick with the 2/3 cup of milk until soft dough forms (this part always reminds me of a science experiment. Well, a science experiment that smells like a bakery). Once the chicken is bubbling, drop the dough on top by spoonfuls. Continue to bake for ten minutes. Then cover and bake for ten more minutes.

It turned out really well. The sour cream gives the sauce a subtle tanginess, and you can never go wrong with gooey cheddar. The bf and I ate it with a crisp green salad, which was a nice light complement that also added some color. I probably should've taken a picture of it, too. Oh well. Next time.

Easter Treats

Fruit Ambrosia

Double Layer Chocolate Pie: Fancy cookbook version

Double Layer Chocolate Pie: Messy "slice of life" version

I prefer no-bake, refrigerate-only desserts. You know, the kind that are made of pudding, JELL-O, Cool Whip, cream cheese, prepared pie crusts, and/or canned fruit. Easy to make and nearly impossible to mess up, they're cool, colorful, and refreshing, and offer a kind of 1950s kitsch factor that just can't be beat. So, it should come as no surprise that I chose to make Double Layer Chocolate Pie and Fruit Ambrosia as my contributions to Easter dinner. If you're a fan of such things and want to give them a whirl, then here are the recipes:

Fruit Ambrosia

Ingredients:

1.5 cups heavy cream

1.5 cups sour cream

Half a 7-oz bag coconut

1 cup miniature marshmallows

1 16-oz can pineapple

2 small cans mandarin oranges

1 jar maraschino cherries

Dash confectioners' sugar

1 cup slivered almonds (I never add these. Because I don't understand what some crunchy, tasteless nuts are doing in an otherwise creamy dessert. This thinking also explains why I hate nuts in brownies. Not to mention sundaes.)

Directions:

Whip heavy cream. Fold in sour cream, marshmallows, and coconut. Add drained fruit. Add almonds (or not).

Double Layer Chocolate Pie (from JELL-O: Celebrating 100 Years)

Ingredients:

4 oz cream cheese, softened

1 tbs whole milk

1 tbs sugar

8 oz Cool Whip

1 6-oz prepared chocolate crumb crust (I couldn't find chocolate, what with the Easter rush, and substituted graham cracker. It tasted just as good.)

2 cups cold whole milk

2 4-oz pkgs instant chocolate pudding

Directions:

Mix the cream cheese, 1 tbs milk, and sugar in a large bowl with a wire whisk (or beater) until smooth. Gently stir in 1.5 cups of the Cool Whip. Spread onto the bottom of the crust. Pour 2 cups of milk into a bowl. Add pudding mixes. Beat with wire whisk (or beater) until well mixed. (Mixture will be thick.) Immediately stir in the remaining Cool Whip. Spread over cream cheese layer. Refrigerate 4 hours or until set. Garnish as desired. Makes 8 servings.

Oh, and here's the "fun fact" from the bottom of the cookbook page:

"In addition to Bill Cosby, famous spokespeople for JELL-O have included Jack Benny, Andy Griffith, and Ethel Barrymore."

So, how did they turn out? The pie was delicious, really thick and creamy. The ambrosia was more of a miss, partly because I forgot the dash of confectioners' sugar. (The time I made it before that I forgot to drain the canned fruit enough and had a watery mess). Maybe fruit ambrosia isn't nearly impossible to mess up. Then again, maybe it's me.