Performance Art Heart: Diffi-Cult Following

Arches and Apples Earrings

If it's weird for me to blog about a show that satirizes crafting on my blog that's mostly about crafting, then if nothing else, at least I'm consistent.  Over the years, I've posted about the Portlandia Etsy spoof, the Whitney Cummings Etsy dig, and my own unwitting star spot on handmade goods roast site Regretsy.  Which is my way of saying that I like laughing at myself and at people who laugh at themselves (and, okay, other people) too.

Enter Difficult People.  This Amy Poehler-produced Hulu original comedy (2015-2017) follows best friend comedians Billy Epstein (Billy Eichner) and Julie Kessler (Julie Klausner) as they snarkily stumble through their mid-thirties and auditions in New York City.  Both are Jewish; only Billy is gay.  It's like a mashup of Seinfeld, Will and Grace, and Curb Your Enthusiasm -- only meaner.  Indeed, in one episode, Billy and Julie describe themselves as a "homelier Will and Grace."  They're the kind of comedians who sacrifice everything (Billy's apartment is a shoebox that he Airbnbs to make extra cash) to claw their way into casting calls even though they -- and we -- know they'll never make it.  Not that that really matters, their dreams -- and the show -- being about the journey.       

Kiwi Cutie Earrings

Billy's day job is waiting tables at a quirky café; Julie's is writing reality show episode recaps.  During court-appointed community service for stealing flowers from an Alice in Wonderland memorial, Julie teaches recap writing to inmates and imparts this pearl: "Show recaps aren't about the show.  They're about you."  I like this, probably because it so closely parallels one of my favorite personal aphorisms: TV is always there for you, but you don't have to be there for (the people inside the) TV.  Romance-wise, Billy is always looking for love -- or at least his next hookup -- and Julie has a live-in boyfriend, the servile and long-suffering Arthur (James Urbaniak), who wears a bowtie and works for PBS.  Impervious to Julie's ingratitude (Where's dinner?!), affable Artie's only crime isn't even his but Urbaniak's, as he played the foot fetish shoe salesman who gave Charlotte a free pair of designer sandals on Sex and the City.  But then again, it's hard to blame Julie for haranguing Artie too much considering her monster mother, Marilyn (Andrea Martin).  Despite being a psychologist, this pint-sized narcissist manipulates Julie into doing her bidding, all while criticizing her appearance, boyfriend, and aspirations.  Of course, Marilyn also gives Julie money.  Because PBS and Real Housewives rants don't pay the bills.  

One of the things that bonds Julie and Billy -- other than their hard-bitten humor and hatred of all and sundry -- is their constant need for attention.  In one episode, Billy is all set to send former Monkee Micky Dolenz packing when the allegedly ailing entertainer begs him to produce his one-man show.  But then Dolenz goes on about how much he admires Billy, and Billy caves: "I have no problem walking away from a dying man, but not a dying fan."  Because that's the thing about this duo (Billy and Julie, not Billy and Micky).  Despite their prickly, don't-mess-with-me personas, their eager-to-please, theater kid self absorption makes them easy prey for any con man with a kind word.

Hearts and Arches Earrings

Nevertheless, at one point, Julie becomes so discouraged by the comedy rat race that she chucks it all to open a shop on Etsy.  Even though she refers to Etsy as a cult. (Yes, finally, the promised crafting connection!)  Her craft?  Wish bags for Midwesterners.  Don't ask me what a wish bag is, because I don't know, and neither does Julie.  But they sell like hotcakes, and Julie discovers that she prefers spending her days surrounded by things instead of people.

Same, Julie, same.

Still, I don't think I need to tell you that this life hack turns out to be as ironclad as those wish bags.  Bitter or not, Julie's got to get back up on that stage.  Because only trouble is interesting, and the show -- or in this case, showbiz -- must go on.

With witty one-liners, a galaxy of guest stars (Tina Fey!  John Mulaney!  Amy Sedaris!), and the kind of misanthropic humor that can thrive only on a sitcom full of eccentric, dysfunctional, and codependent heart, Difficult People is easy to love. 

Play Like a Girl: Peacock Rocks

Clip: Buffalump, Etsy; Necklace: Betsey Johnson, Amazon

Peacock rocks, but I'm not talking about "Peacock" by Katy Perry (although I do like that tune).  I'm talking about NBC's streaming platform and its not one but two new comedies about all-girl rock groups, Girls5eva and We Are Lady Parts.  

Girls5eva follows four forty-something New Yorkers trying to resuscitate their defunct '90s pop group.  The players include Dawn (Sara Bareilles), the sensible one; Summer (Busy Phillips), the dumb one; Wickie (Renee Elise Goldsberry), the crazy one; and Gloria (Paula Pell), the workaholic one.  It's wacky and witty and reminds me of 30 Rock, which tracks because Tina Fey is one of the producers and also cameos as a faux Dolly Parton.  Indeed, Dawn is like the Liz Lemon of the gang, which is to say that she's no-nonsense yet put-upon and the glue that holds them all together.  The songs are hilarious, and the fashion is fierce.  As a bonus, Stephen Colbert, Bowen Yang, and Vanessa Williams guest star.  Girls5eva is a snarky-yet-feel-good treat for anyone who grew up in the '90s or appreciates Fey's brand of humor. 

We Are Lady Parts is the coming-of-age tale of Amina (Anjana Vasan), a twenty-six-year-old Muslim Londoner academic torn between tradition and joining a Muslim punk rock band.  Amina is my favorite kind of heroine, which is to say earnest, awkward, and always getting in her own way.  She has such a severe case of stage fright that she always vomits -- and also sometimes has diarrhea.  Yet We Are Lady Parts frontwoman Saira (Sarah Kameela Impey) is looking for a guitarist and is convinced that Amina is it, barf bucket notwithstanding.  Passionate and serious about her music, Saira spends the greater part of the series resisting her bandmates' pleas to take to social media, insisting that We Are Lady Parts "is not about being famous; it's about being heard."  Being true to yourself and your art, even when it's hard, especially when it's hard, is a major theme in We Are Lady Parts and one that will resonate with artists and misunderstoods everywhere.  

So, two girl power anthems and two ways to rock add up to heart and limitless laughs.  

Peacock, you've got something new to strut about.

Restasis Oasis: Arizona Iced Weeee! What a Well Watered Cactus

It's no secret that I love cacti.  So much so that I decorated my office to be a little paradise of these prickly pals.

Now that I've shamelessly showed off one of my sanctuaries, let's get back to our regularly scheduled (and equally shameless) show-and-tell of my crafts and closet!  Still stuck on saguaros, I decided to make more cacti barrettes.  I've always been a fan of that whole iconic cactus against a sunset aesthetic, so I decided to play with that.  To me, the contrast of cool green against the red/pink, orange, and yellow explosion of a dying sun is dazzlingly dramatic.

Tops from top to bottom: Fifth Sun, JCPenney; Derek Heart, JCPenney; Almost Famous, Boscov's

 Fabulous Felt Green Cactus Barrette

Fabulous Felt Mint Cactus Barrette 

Fabulous Felt Green Rainbow Cactus

Fabulous Felt Mint Rainbow Cactus

Anyway, cacti come from Arizona, and so does Busy Phillips.  I just finished reading her autobiography, This Will Only Hurt a Little, and binged her new E! talk show Busy Tonight, and I can say that she's as sharp and tough as the Southwest's spikiest succulent.

I was expecting This Will Only Hurt a Little to be a laugh-out-loud lark.  But it isn't.  Busy's breezy, conversational writing only ups the intensity of her memoir, which is emotional, raw, and sometimes hard to read.  (You know, hard to read as in contains heavy stuff.  Like all those Oscar-nominated movies that are hard to watch.  Which is also, incidentally, the title of Tracy Jordan's [Tracy Morgan's] EGOT-bait feature film on 30 Rock.  Fun fact: Tina Fey produces Busy Tonight.  Coincidence?  I think not.)  I should've realized that This Will Only Hurt a Little wouldn't be a sitcom anecdote-studded giggle fest made R rated by a few f-bombs.  First of all, there's the title.  Sure, it'll only hurt a little -- but that means it will still hurt some.  And then there's the front and back covers, which feature a pink suit-clad Busy perched hopefully yet apprehensively on what can be only a waiting room chair on account of its uncomfortable-looking 1970s-era harvest gold pleather.  It might be the waiting room of a doctor's office or for an audition, but the message is clear: whatever's on the other side of that door has the power to make or break you (and Busy.  Because this is her book.).

So, what makes This Will Only Hurt a Little an uneasy read?  It isn't just the Time's Up/Me Too-tinged accounts of chauvinism in Hollywood -- although those certainly make an impact.  It's Busy's teenage years.  Some seriously scary things happened to her, the kinds of things that could destroy a girl's faith in herself and in men for the rest of her life.  We all know that high school can be awful and about as far from a sock hop as a corn dog from a vegan buffet.  So, it's all the more meaningful when Busy describes rising above her own chilling chapter to follow -- and achieve -- her dream of becoming an actress.  Even when one of her high school boyfriends steals the credit for writing Blades of Glory.  That's right; Ms. Phillips is responsible for that hilarious Will Ferrell (and okay, John Heder) movie about competitive male figure skating.  Which, now that I think about it, makes perfect sense, as it's funny and glitzy and raunchy and has lots of heart, just like Busy.  As for that old plagiarizing ex, no one even knows his name.  He's probably selling corn dogs somewhere.

Now, there is a part in the book where Busy says that fellow Dawson's Creek star Katie Holmes was "very sweet," but "wasn't really like a hang-out-and-smoke kind of girl," (171) which gave me pause, as I'm no hang-out-and-smoke kind of girl either.  But then I reminded myself that for better or worse, this book is Busy's truth (she says so on page 8), and if she and Katie didn't click, then so be it.  Also, Katie doesn't have a book or talk show.

That said, here's a part of the book that I love:

"Have I talked about being a sparkly human yet?  Well, I have a theory.  There are certain people who are what I call sparkly humans.  These are people who have things just happen for them or to them because other people see them and seemingly inexplicably want to help them.  Because they sparkle.  From the inside out.  I was always a sparkly human (still am, for the most part, on most days).  Adults just liked me and wanted to help me.  Not kids at my school.  Sometimes sparkliness isn't recognized by peers until much later.  Sometimes sparkly people are even bullied as kids.  Because other kids want to put that light out.  They don't understand it and they want to kill it.  The secret is, if you're truly sparkly, you survive all that bullshit and you don't let them put it out.  And at some point, you started to get rewarded for it.  Sparkly humans aren't always entertainers, and they don't always become famous.  There are sparkly humans everywhere.  And there are also plenty of people who are wonderful and amazing, but aren't sparkly.  It's a very specific thing." (126-127)

I think this is cool and interesting, this idea that some people are marked for greatness like characters in a fairy tale.  And also, that this greatness can take many forms.  But that all of the forms are united by this one intangible but unmistakable thing.

Busy brings her sparkle and pioneering, take-no-prisoners attitude to Busy Tonight.  In her book, she talks about being tired of waiting around for casting directors to decide her fate about this or that project, or to tell her that she doesn't have the right look or that she has to lose weight.  Why not do something where she calls the shots?  Why not create a safe space for topical issues and girl talk and silliness?  Why not host her own talk show?  I'm glad she did because Busy Tonight is so fun!  The set is bright and eclectic, like, as Busy herself says, a sitcom living room.  Busy wears great outfits, and her enthusiasm is infectious from the time she runs out onstage to the time she puts on Mr. Nightgown.  So far, some of her guests include Mindy Kaling, Kristen Bell, John Stamos (the first dude, and a gracious one at that), and even Julia Roberts, all of whom Busy ushers into her photo booth before commercial breaks.  And then, at the very end, she comes out in a long, floral, Bohemian-style muumuu (the aforementioned Mr. Nightgown) and sings a goodnight song so endearing and clever that you can't help but hear it in your head all day.  Listening to it, I always think, I really hope this works out for you, Busy, because you seem to really want -- and deserve -- it.

As they (don't) say, cactus makes for imperfect.  Bring on the smudged glitter.

Prep School Jewels and a Few Funny Flicks

 Mr. Mushroom Necklace

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Marilyn Monroe, Macy's

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Marshalls

Jacket: Gap Outlet

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

 Heart Hodgepodge Necklace

Sweater: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Skirt: Ellen Tracy, JCPenney

Shoes: Candie's, Kohl's

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Jacket: Gap Outlet

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

 Hits the Spot Teapot Necklace

Sweater: Macy's

Skirt: Stoosh, Macy's

Shoes: Rocket Dog, DSW

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Jacket: Mossimo, Target

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 Start My Heart Necklace

Dress: Macy's

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Marshalls

Coat: Candie's, Kohl's

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Nothing says back to school like a big old mess of plaid. Even if September is long gone and my Moon Dreamers lunchbox is decorating a landfill. Still, January is as good a time as any to "Schoolhouse Rock" your style (whether you're angling for the honor roll, a social security check, or something in between), especially in this, the first month (and post!) of the year. And few things say schoolgirl like hearts. You know. Dotting i's in passed notes and notebooks, dominating drugstore-issue valentines, and popping up on post-study sesh pendants.

Ah, pendants. And barrettes. And Koosh balls. And, at least before they were banned, those snappy neon slap bracelets. When I was a kid, I lived to spend my allowance on all this and more at Afterthoughts and Claire's Boutique. Truth be told, I still have some of it! (Not the slap bracelets, though; safety first, people.)

Which is just one of the reasons I so enjoyed the Tina Fey-Amy Poehler extravaganza Sisters, an homage to 1980s kitsch -- and house parties -- as told through the story of the sisters Ellis. Fey plays freewheeling beautician and single-mom Kate to Poehler's divorced do-gooder nurse Maura, and the results are hilarious. When we meet Fey, she's giving Chris Parnell a heinous eyebrow wax; when we meet Poehler, she's giving sunscreen to a hobo who turns out to be a construction worker. Yet they're forced to put aside their differences when they find out that their parents (Dianne Wiest and Josh Brolin, just like on CBS's "Life in Pieces"!) are -- sigh -- selling their childhood home. They promptly meet up in Orlando and embark upon an epic bedroom-cleaning sequence that highlights Kate's wild child and Maura's geek girl personas in an awesome outpouring of lava lamps, trolls, feather boas, headbands, scrunchies, colorblock sweatshirts, and, that star of all such montages, diaries. (Kate's chronicles X-rated escapades whereas Maura's recounts episodes in rock tumbling. Nuff said.) Like many a repressed heroine before her, Maura is desperate to, as she puts it, "let her freak flag fly," and Kate conspires to help her by throwing a kick-ass rager cleverly coined Ellis Island Revamped, where she can chat up nice guy neighbor James (Ike Barinholtz, a.k.a. kooky nurse Morgan on "The Mindy Project"). Never mind that a stuck-up couple (the wife's wardrobe is 70% dry clean only, a sure barometer of yuppie-dom if ever there was one) has already purchased the house. Kate will stay sober so Maura can party, and everything will be okay.

Which is how movies work out never.

Before long the Brady Bunch-esque Ellis homestead is overrun with high school friends and frenemies under the influence. So, comedians abound. Maya Rudolph! Bobby Moynihan! Rachel Dratch! Kate McKinnon! Samantha Bee! Things are said, stuff is defaced, and a ballerina music box ends up somewhere it shouldn't. Kate and Maura fight, then pick up the literal and metaphorical pieces in a way that avoids being sappy. Although their personalities are at odds with each other, they have a few of those simpatico bonding moments that happen only to siblings. Which is to say, underneath the layers of Aquanet and eyeliner, Sisters keeps it real.

That having been said, Sisters is something of a foil for Daddy's Home (Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg) which I saw a week before and feel compelled to bring up partly because 1) both are raucous comedies headlined by SNL powerhouses and 2) both feature John Cena, a hulk of a man that I didn't know existed until seeing him in Trainwreck (yet another raucous comedy costarring an SNL favorite). Both were good, delivering on the promise of holiday hijinks, but my takeaway was this: Daddy's Home had a more cohesive plot, but I learned more from Sisters. Probably because I'm a sister. As opposed to a daddy.

Who says comedies can't be deep?

If Seeing is Believing, Then I'll Stay a Skeptic

 Purple Sherbet Shenanigans Necklace

Sweater: Poof, Marshalls

Tank: Hollister, Marshalls

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

 Rainbow Ruckus Necklace

Blouse: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Tank: Hollister, Marshalls

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betseyville, Marshalls

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 Candy Collage Barrettes

Top: Lily Star, Target

Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Shoes: Candie's, Kohl's

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Belt: Wet Seal

Pink Sherbet Shenanigans Necklace

Top: Delia's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Belt: Tournier Everything's $10 

I've always loved rainbow sherbet.  As a kid, I used to eat it out of cylindrical brown Pyrex bowls that made the stripes of green, pink, and orange even more magically neon.  Looking at this week's dessert-themed accessories, I wish I would've made and photographed a rainbow sherbet sundae.  In an old-fashioned ice cream parlor glass, though, not a circa 1975 piece of Pyrex.  Partly because I've been itching to bust out said glasses since my going-on-two-years-ago bridal shower.  Partly because it would've been pretty.  But mostly because it would've been a great excuse to eat ice cream in January.  But then, hindsight's 20/20.  Unlike my vision.  

Yep, it's an out-there segue, even for me.  But I promise it's a relevant one.  See, I recently discovered that I'm becoming more dependent on my glasses.  I wear them mostly just for driving but found that I need them more and more, a realization that dawned after I hatched an "experiment" to wear them all day. (I didn't say it was a sophisticated experiment.)  Sharper eyesight, however, led to another unpleasant revelation, namely that I had a gray hair or two.  "I've been living in a fool's paradise!" I thought, channeling that old lady from the Swifter commercial.  Sure, these flaws are minor and could be easily remedied by hair dye and contacts (although "easily" is a relative term considering my aversion to salons and sticking things in my eyes).  But then, it isn't what's happening that's giving me pause.  It's what what's happening represents, namely, that I'm getting, if not old, exactly, then older.

Paradoxically, wearing glasses full time makes me feel like I'm going backwards.  In TV and movies, spectacles always spell disaster.  They eradicate the "it" factor from cool girls and prevent diamonds in the rough from achieving their sparkle.  Except, of course, in that coterie of hip-to-be-square goddesses who sometimes wear glasses and sometimes don't.  Like Zooey Deschanel's Jess on "New Girl," or Tina Fey's Kate in Baby Mama. (I'd go with Liz in "30 Rock," but I think she almost always wore glasses in that, which wouldn't do much to help my case.  Besides, it was re-watching Baby Mama on FX recently that first set me off on this tangent, and I like to give credit where credit is due.)  Are we to assume that these characters are wearing contacts when they're not wearing glasses?  Or that they're just not seeing as well?  I sure hope it's the latter, because that's what I've been doing for the last 16-odd years, and I'd love for some reputable source to sanction it.  After all, Hollywood's haphazard, devil-may-care attitude toward glasses has probably, at least in some small way, contributed to my reluctance to be a 24/7 four eyes.  Their attitude toward eyewear is sort of "Now I want to look smart! Wait, now I want to look pretty!", which is kind of confusing.   Because despite my (and let's be honest, most women's) ever-ardent desire to look pretty, if there's anything I learned while dodging my optometrist's near-heroic attempts to fit me for contacts, then it's that my squeamishness outweighs my vanity (no surprise there, really, as I've avoided plucking my eyebrows and bleaching my teeth for similar reasons). Which makes me wonder.  Is wearing glasses a sign of weakness, a kind of white flag that you've given up on your looks?  Or is it a mark of maturity that you've transcended such shallow concerns?  

I think the title of this post tips my hand on that one.  Which is to say that I'll have my cake (sherbet?) and eat it too (a dubious saying if ever there was one because what would you do with cake if you didn't eat it?) by being a mere part-time Poindexter.  At least until I hit forty and succumb to bifocals.

When Snacks Attack

 Lemon Snack Attack Corsage Necklace

Dress: Kohl's

Cardigan: Worthington, JCPenney

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Loop, Marshalls

Scarves: A.C. Moore

 Chocolate Snack Attack Corsage Necklace

Top: Merona, Target

Jeans: Vanilla Star, Target

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Bag: Glamour Damaged, Etsy

 Raspberry Snack Attack Corsage Necklace

Dress: Xhilaration, Target

Sweater: Worthington, JCPenney

Shoes: Nine West, Burlington Coat Factory

Bag: Chinese Laundry, JCPenney

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

There's nothing quite like the craving for a pudding cup.  Or, for that matter, a cookie.  But we'll get to that in a minute.  Pudding's cool, satiny texture and parfait-layered pastels are just the thing to quell a stomach that's been eating itself.  So, in the spirit of smooth sweets I upgraded these old corsages made from JELL-O Temptations packaging by garnishing them with delicious duds.  

Speaking of snacks, I picked up these Keebler cinnamon roll cookies to try.  Partly because they're endorsed by Cinnabon, partly because I was fresh off last Thursday's "30 Rock" episode in which Liz Lemon weds James Marsden clad in full Princess Leia regalia.  I'm no Star Wars (or city hall ceremony) fan, but I do love an against-the-grain wedding that's more about people than pretense.  May the force be with you, Liz.