When the Hair Claws Come Out

Sweater: Express; Jeans Princess Vera, Kohl's; Coat: The North Face, Sports Authority

Bag: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Skirt: Wild Fable, Dolls Kill; Tights: Isadora, Zulily; Boots Penny Loves Kenny, Amazon

Top: Bar III, Macy's

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's; Zigzag bangle: Strawbridge & Clothier; Chartreuse bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Maroon bangle: Iris Apfel for INC, Macy's; Striped bangle: Target; Brown ring: Charlotte Russe; Chartreuse ring: Claire's

Hair clips: Wild Fable, Target

Mystery Necklace Number One; Neon necklace: Carole, JCPenney

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's; Boots: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Yellow bangle: Silver Linings, Ocean City; Green and orange bangles: B Fabulous; Blue bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Rings: Seahorse Designs, Etsy

Clip: SHEIN

Plenty of Pineapples Necklace, Mystery Necklace Number Two

Next to the scrunchie, no hair accessory had a grip on the late '80s and early '90s quite like the hair clip or claw.  Once confined to the realm of hair salons, these fantastic plastic pretties topped the heavily hairsprayed tresses of trendy teens the world over.  (Well, maybe not the world over.  It would be tough to rock such an obtrusive ornament under a ski cap in Antarctica.)  And in recent years, they've made a comeback, allowing us to look, once again, like we're on the verge of a totally awesome blowout.  It's no wonder that I've taken to wearing one or two or as many clips as I can cram onto my head at a time.  Of course, collecting them is half the fun, especially when it means storing them in an era-appropriate Caboodle.  

Last weekend, for my nephew's trampoline park birthday party, I happily hauled out my rainbow-striped clip from SHEIN:

And although I stayed out of trouble -- and off the trampolines! -- I got to enjoy some '80s atmosphere in the form of a Care Bears claw machine and a larger-than-life Rubik's Cube tower.  As did the husband, who gamely posed next to the Rubik's Cubes.

Because you can't go wrong with kitsch and color and claws.  

Those '80s ladies were on to something.

The Meal Deal: Welcome to the Jungle

Tights: Isadora, Zulily

Bag: Current Mood, Dolls Kill

Skirt: Wild Fable, Target

Ring: Claire's; Claw: Wild Fable, Target: Necklace: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Bracelet: Amrita Singh, Zulily

Sweater: Bar III, Macy's

Shoes: Jessica Simpson Collection, Amazon

Skirt: Vanilla Star, Macy's

Hera Harmonica Necklace

Top: The North Face, Macy's

Barrettes: The Tote Trove

Tights: ModCloth

Eclectic Explosion Necklace

Shoes: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Top: Bar III, Macy's

Bag: Violet Ray, Kohl's

Skirt: Merona, Target

Bangles: Mixit, JCPenney; Rings: Express; Barrette: The Tote Trove; Heart bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Rectangle bracelet: Wet Seal

This is a bit of a shocker, so you may want to sit down.  Are you sitting down?  With an ice cold or piping hot beverage?  And maybe a cookie or cheese and crackers?  Okay, good.  Here it goes.  Two weeks ago, I went to a restaurant.  

Everything okay?  You didn't choke on that cookie, did you?  Good.  Just for making it through, have another.

So, my mom was turning seventy.  And she wanted a small group (eight adults and three children) to celebrate at one of her favorite Italian eateries.  My dad made sure to request the "dining room," which is a small room in the front housing a single table for twelve.  The only thing that might stand in Mom's way was that I might not be okay with it.  Which was humbling.  Was I really such a scaredy-cat prima donna?  Maybe.  Because I didn't answer immediately.  But minutes later, I came to my senses and said of course, the husband and I would be there.  So on the appointed day, I put on my tiger-striped best and turquoise eyeshadow, and the husband and I drove toward Philly.  That's where I am in the first pic, posed outside the restaurant before donning my K90 mask to enter the lobby.  I made the husband wear a mask too, and he obliged, albeit begrudgingly.  When we opened the door, though, no one else was wearing one.  I felt a little silly.  But not silly enough to take it off before we arrived at our cloistered table.

When I finally bared my mug, I felt . . . normal.  Safe.  Not at all panicked like I was in those pre-vaccine dreams where I found myself in a crowded store without facial protection.  Sure, I doused myself with antibacterial gel every other time I picked up my fork.  But I drank my Pepsi and ate my shrimp and watched my niece and nephew devour their bread like it was an ordinary Sunday.  And it was nice.  Not so nice that I wondered what I'd been missing for the past two years (all in all, I still prefer staying home), but nice to know that I could handle eating out should a special occasion arise.  And toasting Mom's seventieth over seafood sans takeout containers was pretty special.  

So, in support of that first foray into "the jungle," I came up with two more animal print ensembles.  I broke out my new bejeweled, leopard Betsey heels too, which I'd recently scored on clearance.  They were cute alright -- but they were also killers.  I told the husband that the left one was getting me right where my bunion lived.  His response?  "All aboard the bunion bus!".  I took the shoes off after he took the pic, but he sang that ditty for the rest of the day.  With such riveting in-house entertainment, is it any wonder I never want to go out?  That's where small talk and traffic and COVID lurk, and most of the time it isn't worth it.  As they say, it's a jungle out there.  

But as I learned at my mom's birthday dinner, not always.  Sometimes it's a (walk in the) park.

Courtesy of Cosmo: What You Could Have Bought: Sundress Extravaganza!

Express Yourself Strapless Dress, Lulus

Freeze Frame Two Black and White Dress, Lulus

Bumble Rumble Strapless Dress, Lulus

Day Spa Turquoise Striped Dress, Lulus

Belted Charm Stripe Dress, Charlotte Russe

Roxy Stripe Lineup Halter Dress, Zappos

My Better Half, Etsy, The Petite Chouette

Spot On Polka Dot Dress, Lulus

Hawaiian Lei One Shoulder Fuchsia and Purple Dress, Lulus

Matrix McQueen Chiffon Dress, Zappos

Ruffle Trimmed Floral Print Dress, Body Central

Paintball Splatter Corset Sundress, Etsy, Avante Garb

Volcom Evo High-Low Dress, Zappos

The North Face Nandini Dress, Zappos

Vans BonBon Dress, Zappos

Steve Madden Tropical Floral Smock Dress, Zappos

Volcom Southern Summer Cover Up Dress, Zappos

Watercolor Wonder Print Dress, Lulus

Chevron Stripes Dress, Forever 21

Fruit Cocktail One Shoulder Dress, Lulus

Tantalizing Tiramisu Pink Ruffle Dress, Lulus

Maelstrom Descant Strapless Yellow Summer Dress, Lulus

Belted Floral Dress, Venus

Multi Stripe Knit Sundress, Charlotte Russe

Bahama Mama Floral Dress, Lulus

Creole Cuisine Ivory Print Dress, Lulus

Rose Print Pencil Dress, Charlotte Russe

Feather Print One Shoulder Dress, Charlotte Russe

One of my favorite standbys in Cosmopolitan is the "What You Could Have Bought" section. Each month you get to find out how forgoing seemingly insignificant expenses such as ATM fees, coffee, and vending machine items saves you enough cash to spring for something fun. The July issue reveals that cutting out fast food meals twice a week will save you a whopping $768 a year, enough to score 16 sundresses! My imagination really started running with that one, and before long I found myself trying to come up with enough places to wear such a wardrobe! Thus inspired, I scoured the Web for the sunniest, splashiest frocks that Cyberspace had to offer and posted the best ones here for your viewing pleasure. (I meant to stop at 16 but couldn't help myself and ended up with close to 30!)