Two Grifters Off to See the World: Watch the Scam Car, Please

The other night, I watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, that 1989 classic comedy about two grifters who charm heiresses out of their fortunes.  Although I'd (somehow) never seen it, the casino and train scenes seemed familiar.  But it wasn't until Michael Caine led his wealthy, would-be wife to meet Steve Martin masquerading as his two-fries-short-of-a-Happy Meal brother that I realized it was almost exactly the same as 2019's The Hustle with Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson.  It was weird to stumble upon the original of a movie that I didn't even know was a remake.  Even stranger, I'd watched The Hustle last spring, around the beginning of the quarantine.  And that made me wonder: why was the universe sending me its funhouse mirror image three hundred and sixty-five days later?  To tell me that 1) the secret to life is scamming people, 2) Michael Caine is more than Batman's butler, or 3) Steve Martin and Rebel Wilson are just a wig away from being the same person?

Or, the more things change, the more they stay the same?

Yeah, it's probably that one.

Another thing that won't change this spring (or ever) is my disdain, not for trains, but tram cars.  It all goes back to the time I was six and was abandoned on a tram with a mime.  No, that's not true.  But this is the second consecutive post in which I've mentioned mimes.  I just don't like them (tram cars, not mimes.  Wait, no, it's tram cars and mimes).  It haunts/amuses me that trams are probably still running all over the East Coast and beyond, their tinny warning ("Watch the tram car, please!"  "Watch the tram car, please!") as unwelcome as a parole officer at a pig roast.  

That said, this pic of regular cars on a regular road instead of a tram car parting a sea of sunburned suckers on the boardwalk will have to do.     

Because diamonds to doughnuts, if it's a scam -- I mean tram -- car, then it's got its share of scoundrels onboard.  And I don't want to be tricked into a game of eat or be eaten; I want to live and let live.  Like in The Lion King.  

But while we're on the subject of eating -- and doughnuts -- I wouldn't say no to a glazed Krispy Kreme.

No Llama Drama: Where the Mild Things Are . . .

Wild Fable, Target

Candie's, Kohl's

Candie's, Kohl's

Lily White, Marshalls

 . . . is where I'll be.  As you know, I'm a homebody bookworm, and the craziest thing about me is my clothes.  That said, safari styles make it easy for me to, well, roar.  Because animal prints are fierce.  Whether leopard, zebra, tiger, or even flamingo, this toothsome trend says, "Don't mess with me."  But then, "trend" is something of a misnomer.  Because animal prints have been around since "The Flintstones."  They're as classic as cat fights and as timeless as bar brawls.  And no, cat fights and bar brawls are not the same thing.  Meows hold more menace than punches.

What is trendy is the zooful of cute creatures that graces everything from pillows to ponchos.  First it was owls, then foxes, then sloths.  And now it's llamas.  Known for their sweet, soulful faces and boho chic vibe, these four-legged lovelies are parading through their fifteen minutes of fame festooned with feathers and pompoms.  This colorful canvas could be their mascot: 

Me and my llama.

I wish I could take credit for making it, but that honor goes to Marshalls.  Just as the honor for making my faux jumpsuit (really just a matching top and jeans; you know I don't do rompers) goes to JCPenney.  I did make these Llama Mama necklaces, though.  One for you (or rather, the craft buying public), one for me.

 Llama Mama Necklace

That said, here are some factoids about llamas.  They come from Trip Savvy, which I've decided not to link to because some day that link will die, leaving a big black hole in this post.  The text after each quote, though, isn't from Trip Savvy but me -- with some help from The Lion King. 

- "Llamas know their own limits.  If you try to overload a llama with too much weight, the llama is likely to lie down or simply refuse to move." 

Don't let people burden you with more than you can handle.  Play dead if you have to to show those bullies who's boss!

- "Llamas don't bite.  They spit when they're agitated, but that's mostly at each other." 

When it comes to the circle of life, don't eat or be eaten.  Live and let live.  Squabbles with your nearest and dearest, however, are always part of the deal.

- "Llama poop has almost no odor.  Llama farmers refer to llama manure as "llama beans."  It makes great, eco-friendly fertilizer.  The Incas in Peru burned dried llama poop for fuel." 

If possible, then don't make a stink.  And leave things a little bit better than you found them. 

So simple, yet so philosophical.  We could learn a lot from the llama.

Especially the part about spitting.

Parrot Parade Brigade: Polly Want a Slacker?

The husband got me this top recently.  Believe it or not, it's actually for a man.  A small man, but a man nonetheless.  I suppose this makes it a shirt, as we all know that real men don't wear tops or eat quiche.  Anyway, it came from Amazon, which is fitting because it looks like a collage from an enchanted rain forest.  I say enchanted because I imagine that real rain forests are more Animal Planet than Magic Kingdom, unphotogenic and gruesome in their circle of life-ness.  Even if "Circle of Life" was a song in The Lion King.  Because if anyone can put a good spin on death, then it's Disney.

In keeping with the parrot theme, here's my old pal Randall.  But for the purposes of this post, I'll call him, or rather her (because if I can wear a dude's shirt, then he can certainly change genders), Polly.  And Polly most definitely does not want a cracker.  Or a slacker.  So, no rum or Jimmy Buffett.  Or rum made by Jimmy Buffet.  She also doesn't want a passel of insects or whatever it is that parrots eat.  What she really craves is a buttery brioche topped with a fresh slice of mango.  She's a discerning one, my precious Polly, demanding only the best from the island's buffet.  Not to be confused, of course, with the island's best Buffett.

Cheeseburger in paradise or not, his kind's not welcome here.

Etsy Favorites: Princess for a Day

 Snow White Swarovski Crystal Bib Necklace, Glamour Puss Couture

 Aurora Layered Boutique Bottle Cap Bow, Fox Hollow Bows

 Princess Cupcake Toppers, Kati's Cupcakes

 The Little Mermaid Necklace, Glamour Puss Couture

 Princess Jasmine Necklace, LL Couture

 Belle Pinwheel Bottlecap Bow, Hair Bow Depot

 Character Lollipop Tree, Sweet Lotus Treats

And just for fun: Ursula Cameo Necklace, Carlea Pink

I recently saw a commercial for the 3D re-release of Disney's The Lion King, which made me think about how that was always my least favorite Disney movie.  I know, I know; who doesn't love The Lion King?  If you've been reading this blog for awhile, then you know that I'm not exactly an animal lover.  So, why am I calling attention to such an unflattering trait?  Because remembering my lukewarm feelings about The Lion King reminded me how much I love Disney princess movies.  However un-PC it may sound, there's just something about wearing a ballgown and living in a castle that appeals to me.  Thus inspired, I did an Etsy search on Disney princesses and came up with some pretty cool stuff.  Most of it is for rocking your outfit, some of it is for rocking your party, and some of it seems just for kids.  Not that that last one should stop you from getting in on the fun.