Christmas Lights, Camera, Action

"This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife" isn't just a lyric from a Talking Heads song.  It's what's going on in this picture.  (Well, okay, except for the wife part.)  This lights lollapalooza of a house isn't mine.  But it was the most striking house I saw with the husband and my parents when we drove around looking at Christmas décor over the weekend.  (My mom found it on a Facebook self-guided tour list, so hopefully the very talented homeowners won't mind that I posted a pic.)  It's as dazzling as the Griswald residence.  Only better, because it has a castle.  

Speaking of Christmas Vacation, there's nothing that eases 'tis the season tension like a crazy Christmas comedy.  So when I saw a commercial for the Comedy Central original movie A Clusterfunke Christmas, I had to check it out.  Written by Rachel Dratch and Ana Gasteyer, it's a rom com spoof of those so-bad-they're-good Hallmark holiday features.  Holly Jenkins (Mr. Mayor's Vella Lovell) isn't looking for love when she descends upon a Christmas-themed village.  She's looking to buy a heap of an inn run by eccentric spinster sisters Hildy (Gasteyer) and Marga (Dratch) Clusterfunke.  What follows is a walking, talking Christmas card complete with all the, ahem, hallmarks of a made-for-TV-movie.  You know.  The struggling mom and pop (or should I say sister and sister?) business.  The cookie cutter townspeople.  And, of course, the sophisticated, stressed-out businesswoman and hunky local yokel (Call Me Kat's Cheyenne Jackson) who despise each other on sight but must-have-each-other-now although they barely lock lips.

It was fun to watch a Christmas movie that put a new (i.e. snarky) spin on things.  Not that I don't enjoy the odd Hallmark flick while I'm crafting or wrapping a last-minute gift.  But after stringing my third necklace, I sometimes find the stories too saccharine to keep my interest.  No spurned suitor ever even so much as tosses a mug of hot chocolate in his lady love's Botoxed face.  And that's just not normal.  

Nevertheless, even as A Clusterfunke Christmas satirizes the genre of holiday romance, it's an (albeit tongue in cheek) homage to it.  Which is to say that it takes the best parts of a merry meet cute and then -- bam! -- spikes that sugary eggnog.  Because a little sarcasm never hurt anyone.

And you always hurt the ones you love.

Something New and Sparkly: Quirky Quips (er, Clips) and Talking Headssic,

 Fabulous Felt Steak Dinner Barrette

Tee: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Macy's

Shoes: Chaps, Kohl's

Bag: DSW

Scarf: Marshalls

 Fabulous Felt Rainbow Barrette

Tee: So, Kohl's

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Loop, Toilet Water, Ocean City

Fabulous Felt Shrimp Cocktail Barrette

Tank: Mossimo, Target

Skirt: Buyer, Boscov's

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, Marshalls

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Fabulous Felt Peacock Barrette 

Tank: Poof, Boscov's

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Nine West, DSW

Bag: Gifted

 Fabulous Felt Artist Palette Barrette

Dress: Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Delia's

I like to think that without even opening their mouths these Styrofoam stands would silence even the most loquacious of political pundits. I don't really know what that means and can only imagine it sprang from my "talking heads" title, a misguided need to be clever, and my increasing punchiness on account of the advancing hour. Nevertheless, there's no better way to (finally!) introduce my quirky clips than with a quartet of luscious locks. Tired of mangling my manes by transferring them on and off a single stand, I bit the bullet and purchased three others from Sally Beauty Supply. If the barrette designs look familiar, then it's because they echo some of their necklace predecessors. (I'm talking about you, steak dinner, peacock, and artist palette). I think I like the miniature reincarnations even better then the originals. Probably because they're small enough to be arranged in an attractively collectible fivesome like the one pictured above. And I do so love to collect things. Don't you?

Movie Moment: Plunging into Hot Tub Time Machine

For some reason, I'd been wanting to rent Hot Tub Time Machine. (But then, you probably already knew that if you've been reading.) I choose to blame my impulse on my love of 1980s music (Poison, ironically, excepted despite their portrayal in this movie), 1980s fashion, and stupid comedies of all decades. So, a few nights ago I got it On Demand, my decision half-heartedly sanctioned by the bf, who didn't want to see it but didn't feel compelled to see anything else either. True to form, Hot Tub Time Machine offered up a parade of neon ski wear, legwarmers, and lurid animal prints set to music by INXS, David Bowie, New Order, Talking Heads, and others, all of which I enjoyed. Even so, I was slightly disappointed by this tale of three middle-aged guys (and one twentysomething kid) who revisit the 1980s via a portal channeled by a -- yes -- hot tub. To be honest, I think I was hooked more by the whole wacky hot tub concept than by the big hair and Men Without Hats. There's just something about four drunk guys in a Jacuzzi playing a vital role in the space-time continuum theory . . .

Don't get me wrong. It was funny. Just not as funny as I'd hoped. (I don't blame the movie for this, as the fault lies with my own destructively high expectations.) To me, all the high points featured Nick (The Office's Craig Robinson), a rock star-turned dog groomer who gets pushed around by his wife. I don't think I'm alone in saying that he claims the movie's most memorable line when he utters, in a deeply serious and somewhat befuddled voice just after the time travel kicks in, "It must've been some kind of . . . hot tub time machine," then looks straight at the camera, deadpan. Nick also brings the added bonus of his black tee screen printed with neon pink, yellow, and green combs and -- wait for it -- that staple of all 1980s stylists, hair picks.

I think that about sums up my thoughts.

In other news, I put the finishing touches on my Large Terrific Turtle Tote tonight. I'm doing this new thing where I haul my painting board (built by none other than the bf, designed for an optimum creative and ergonomic working experience) out into the hallway where we have the best light so I can expose and then touch up all the imperfections. Because there are always imperfections, even after the second coat and the outlining have been completed. I hope to have the tote ironed, posted on Etsy, and blogged about here by tomorrow night. Then it will be on to my next project, the Large Beauty Queen Tote, in which lipsticks and hair dryers will do battle with combs and compacts. I'm particularly looking forward to that one.