Garden Garments: A Shout-out to Shorts and Shrubbery

Whether you're sipping iced tea in an English garden or swigging from a canteen in an Amazonian rain forest, it's key to keep cool and look hot.  And what better way to do that than in shorts?

I'd like to take a moment to point out that there are many things wrong with the above paragraph.  First of all, I hate iced tea.  Secondly, trekking through the Amazon is not an endeavor to be launched on a lark, and no matter how hot it is, it's most definitely not one to be attempted in shorts thanks to snakes, malaria, poisonous plants, and other pleasure trip spoilers.  Finally, every woman knows that a miniskirt is way more comfortable and cuter than a pair of shorts.  (If you don't believe me, I couldn't help but sneak one in this post to prove it.)  That said, sometimes you have to sacrifice accuracy for the sake of showmanship.  No one ever promised truth in advertising. 

Now that that's over with, on to the plant portion of our program.  The first garden glamour shot is from my yard, the second is from someone else's yard (thanks to the husband who snapped it in Brigantine), and the third is from the Elizabethan Gardens, which the husband and I visited last August in the Outer Banks.  Because that's The Tote Trove way, giving you yesterday's news a year later.

Speaking of botanical wonders, here's an accessories shot featuring my new pink and rose gold Katy Perry sandals.  I love the term rose gold because it combines the two classically feminine wish list items of flowers and jewelry.  If they could cram a box of Russell Stover in there, then they'd be, well, golden.  Of course, in my case, they'd also have to change gold to neon acrylic.  Because that, not precious metals, is what makes up ninety percent of my bauble box.   

As I said, you can't trust ad copy.

Shoes: Katy Perry, Amazon

Bag: Glamour Damaged, Etsy

Yellow bangles: B Fabulous

Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney

Purple bangle: Target

Ring: Express

Sunglasses: Amazon

Barrettes and necklace: The Tote Trove

And finally, from my gnome to yours, here's the dynamic ceramic duo that resides in my craft room.  I brought them outside to catch some vitamin D and to say hey to the critters:

And that's the long and short of it, folks!  Next time we'll ponder palazzo pants and this timeless query: resort leisure chic or sad sack pajamas?       

V is for Vendetta . . . and Also Valentine's Day

Hopefully, you're not in a vendetta with your special someone.  Hopefully, you're headed out for a night on the town or, if that's not your thing, then cozying up for a quiet night in.  Even if you're not coupled up, I wish you no Hatfield vs. McCoy-style feuds whatsoever.  Because V-Day should come with all the peace of devouring chocolate on a cloud of pink couch or comforter.  (Not that your couch or bed can't be blue or green or gray.  But I'm trying to paint a picture here.)  That said, I had to kiss a real frog of a chore before tearing into my own treats today.  This afternoon, the husband and I went to the dermatologist for our annual skin scans.  Because nothing says romance like disrobing in front of strangers.  Not that we have any real epidermis issues; we go because it's always good to be one step ahead of Mad Man Melanoma.

Thankfully, our Valentine's Day isn't all lab coats and copays (partly because we don't have a copay, but rather a deductible).  We're going out to dinner later this weekend, which is a long one courtesy of those wig heads Washington and Lincoln.  (Yes, I know only Washington had a wig.  But Lincoln had that beard, which was pretty gnarly and has to count for something.)  Afterwards, I'm looking forward to a choice chocolate chaser.  Because Valentine's Day is the candy holiday.  Wait, what's that you say?  The candy holiday is Halloween?  Or, on a good year, even Easter?  Well . . . maybe.  If you're into Baby Ruths and bipedal bunnies.  But only V-Day has pink and red foil wrappers and cherry and strawberry filling and heart-shaped Russell Stover boxes full of Forrest Gump flavors.

Because that's life in a (hazel) nutshell: diving in without checking the cheat sheet.  Or the nutrition facts.  Nutrition facts are the worst, the Flag Day of facts.  Nothing against flags.  But they don't give you gifts or sugar or a day off.

So, have a happy un-Flag Day.  May you do -- and eat -- all the things that you heart.  And all the things that heart you.

Red Letter (Valentine's) Day

 Fabulous Felt Love Knot Necklace

Cardigan: Merona, Target

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Uniquely Different, Etsy

Belt: B Fabulous

Tights: JCPenney

 Fabulous Felt Love Dove Necklace

Dress: Olsenboye, JCPenney

Shoes: Madden Girl, Macy's

Bag: Fred Flare

Coat: She Said, JCPenney

Scarf: Express

 Fabulous Felt Love Blooms Necklace

Sweatshirt: Jenni, Macy's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Bag: Betsey Johnson, ROSS Dress for Less

Scarf: Wet Seal

I realize that it's President's Day.  But there isn't much about George and Abe that screams fun or funny. Unless, of course, you count their patriotic profiles, which may look kind of amusing as the felt focal point of a star-spangled necklace.  Hang on a minute . . .

But no.  Too late.  This post is all about the extravagance that governs (hey, vamoose, legislative language) the glamour of hearts and flowers fashion.  To me, Cupid's calendar lays claim to the height of holiday style.  Sure, Christmas trees, Easter bunnies, and jack o' lanterns get all the press.  But for that unbeatable combination of romance and kitsch, there's no trumping February fourteenth.  Its comely clash of red and pink, punched up by conversation hearts' powerhouse pastels, are the ideal colors for cute candy boxes and crush-worthy dresses.  Not that your plans need be fancy to be festive.  For those who feel more pressure than passion on this lovey-doviest of days, sometimes there's no sweeter celebration than sitting on the sofa with your special someone, sucking down a box of Russell Stover's soft-centered finest.  What's more, Valentine's Day treats are now deeply discounted, which means that it's the perfect time to snag a fresh frilly box for my - er, your - collection . . . and enjoy the snuggle and scarf routine all over again.