Head of State, Heavy Pate: Hats and Unicorn Horns

Sweater: Mocloth

Bag: Amazon; Bows: The Tote Trove; Ring: Express;  Necklace and collage bracelet: Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Purple bracelet: Etsy

Hat: JCPenny

Pink Prism Necklace

Skirt: Trixxi, Kohl's

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's' Charm: Betsey Johnson for Trolls, Macy's

Top: Bar III, Macy's

Hat: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Stockings: Mixit, JCPenney

Pink Power Necklace

Shoes: Kelly & Katie, DSW

Hats off to Presidents' Day!  Even if I'm wearing a fedora and beanie instead of Washington's tri-cornered lid and Lincoln's top hat.  Of course, the most magical cranial accoutrement of all is the unicorn horn.  If only the leaders of our great nation had had one of those.  Imagine the presidential portraits.  Not to mention the jealous royals.  But I'm a ruler with a crown and a castle!  Shouldn't I get first dibs on anything sparkly?   

No doubt about it, a unicorn horn is impressive.

Luckily, I'm no politician.  Which means that the only person I need to impress is myself.  

So, come 2024, vote unicorn.  Because everyone deserves a fairy tale ending.  

And a chic, sharp way to skewer the haters.

V is for Vendetta . . . and Also Valentine's Day

Hopefully, you're not in a vendetta with your special someone.  Hopefully, you're headed out for a night on the town or, if that's not your thing, then cozying up for a quiet night in.  Even if you're not coupled up, I wish you no Hatfield vs. McCoy-style feuds whatsoever.  Because V-Day should come with all the peace of devouring chocolate on a cloud of pink couch or comforter.  (Not that your couch or bed can't be blue or green or gray.  But I'm trying to paint a picture here.)  That said, I had to kiss a real frog of a chore before tearing into my own treats today.  This afternoon, the husband and I went to the dermatologist for our annual skin scans.  Because nothing says romance like disrobing in front of strangers.  Not that we have any real epidermis issues; we go because it's always good to be one step ahead of Mad Man Melanoma.

Thankfully, our Valentine's Day isn't all lab coats and copays (partly because we don't have a copay, but rather a deductible).  We're going out to dinner later this weekend, which is a long one courtesy of those wig heads Washington and Lincoln.  (Yes, I know only Washington had a wig.  But Lincoln had that beard, which was pretty gnarly and has to count for something.)  Afterwards, I'm looking forward to a choice chocolate chaser.  Because Valentine's Day is the candy holiday.  Wait, what's that you say?  The candy holiday is Halloween?  Or, on a good year, even Easter?  Well . . . maybe.  If you're into Baby Ruths and bipedal bunnies.  But only V-Day has pink and red foil wrappers and cherry and strawberry filling and heart-shaped Russell Stover boxes full of Forrest Gump flavors.

Because that's life in a (hazel) nutshell: diving in without checking the cheat sheet.  Or the nutrition facts.  Nutrition facts are the worst, the Flag Day of facts.  Nothing against flags.  But they don't give you gifts or sugar or a day off.

So, have a happy un-Flag Day.  May you do -- and eat -- all the things that you heart.  And all the things that heart you.

Rebel Romance Stance: Hearts and Glowers

Romance Rampage Necklace

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Hollister, Marshalls

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Modcloth

Belt: Kohl's

Barrette: Carole, J. C. Penney's

Red bangle: XOXO, Ross

Strawberry bangle: B Fabulous

Today may be Presidents Day, but here at the Trove we're still having a fling with Cupid.  Sorry, Washington and Lincoln.  Maybe you should've swapped the wig and mole for diapers.  Also, I know that Cupid's a baby.  Which is weird.  But I won't overthink it if you don't. 

Anyhoo, I'm super excited about this Romance Rampage Necklace.  As if you couldn't tell from this pic where I'm wearing it.  (Hey, I had to test it and make sure that the beads didn't go rolling down the movie theater aisle, sending popcorn and grannies flying.)  Brace yourself -- this is the part where I get all saleslady-like and poetic:

A-twitter with red and pink hearts, a big red rose, and an abundance of glitzy rhinestones, the Romance Rampage Necklace is a cluttered cliche of love tokens, a bouquet of Valentine dream date delight.  

See?  It's a regular greeting card store explosion.  Just like the movie Isn't It Romantic.  

I probably shouldn't even bother to exclaim SPOILER ALERT! because if you've seen a rom com ever, then you already know everything I'm about to say.  But you know.  Politeness.  

I saw Isn't It Romantic yesterday, and it met all my expectations of what a snarky-sweet-spoof-of-slash-homage-to-rom coms should be.  Natalie (Rebel Wilson) is a big girl trying to find love in a little girl's world.  (By the way, isn't Natalie a lovely name?  Despite what that sod Blake says.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.)  Scratch that.  Natalie's not actually trying to find love.  She's trying not to find it.  And it's all because of her mother.  (Well, and society.  But mostly her mother.)  As a kid, she loved romantic comedies.  Then, one day, she's watching Pretty Woman, all but hypnotized by that scene where Julia Roberts accepts Richard Gere's invitation to stay for the week while cackling in the bubble bath, when her mom's all, sorry not sorry, happy endings aren't for girls like us.  Fast forward twenty years or so.  Natalie's a gifted but undervalued architect living in a tiny New York City apartment with a mangy mutt and a bunk bed.  The only bright spot is her friends, which include her rom com-loving assistant, Whitney, and her nerdy but well-meaning work pal, Josh (Adam Devine).  Yet despite their support, Nat's a negative Nancy (Natalie?) who looks at life as a cruel joke.  The one time she takes Whitney's advice to be more open she gets mugged.  Then she bumps her head and plunges into a dream/coma/parallel universe (because in movie land, these are all the same) where her dingy world is filtered through rose-colored glasses.  She's got the gay best friend, the massive closet full of every shoe she's ever wanted, and the fancy job complete with the nemesis (Surprise!  It's a catty Whitney.).  Not to mention a gorgeous guy all but stalking her in a swoony, benign, and rom-com-friendly way.  You know, as opposed to the kind that inspires restraining orders.  His name is Blake (of course), and he's played by Liam Hemsworth (double of course), and he just happens to be the hotelier bigwig that Natalie's architecture firm is trying sooo hard to woo.

Other rom com tropes flourish like kudzu (or, er, long-stemmed red roses).  There's the adorable act of gentle lawbreaking in the name of spontaneity (Was that a siren?  No matter!  Time to skip off to the next twee event!); the hero's confession of something awful that makes him seem more human (His favorite ice cream is butter pecan!  And his second favorite is rum raisin!); the other woman who's perfect and gorgeous; the unrealized love for the dorky best friend; the stopping of the big wedding; the heroine's realization that the hero is actually a heinous scumbag just out to use her for his own selfish gains . . . 

And finally, at the end, the cherry on top of the strawberry sundae -- the heroine's epiphany that the best romance is the one you have with yourself.

Wait, what?  That last one isn't part of the genre!  The heroine is almost always a prize to be won by a guy -- not the scumbag guy, that part checks out -- but the dorky guy who really deserves her!  Hmm.  Well, that happens here too.  But not before Nat realizes that 1) she doesn't need anyone else to complete her (take that, Jerry Maguire) and 2) that her male neighbor really is gay.  Turns out that all those girls coming out of his apartment were just there to buy weed.      

So, Natalie sees that her real life, bunk bed and all, is better than the glossy dream version.  Because it's hers, and no one is trying to change her name.  (Georgina?  Really, Blake?  It's not like your name is so great.  Also, it rhymes with fake.  Coincidence?  I think not.)  And yes, Natalie and Josh do get together.  And all of these things are a cliche, but that's okay.  Because cliches are cliches for a reason.   

It's like they say -- the road to true love never runs smooth.  Or gets past the first mile marker without breaking out into a flash mob.  So, here's cheers to a beautiful story about two people accepting each other.  Moles and all. 

'Cause I got you, Abe.  Georgie, better luck next year.

Locks That Rock: Playing it Up Presidential

Fabulous Felt Lump Clump Barrette

Dress: Modcloth

Blouse: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Sash: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

This President's Day, skip the wonky wigs (I'm looking at you, Washington, Adams, Jefferson, and other assorted Oval Office-dwelling dandies) and stuffed suits for an administration you can really admire: the Presidents of the United States.  This two-hit-wonder alt rock band of the 1990s brought us such delightful ditties as "Peaches" and "Lump", the latter of which is celebrated right here in fabulous felt.  Six colorful little "lumps" peer inquiringly out of kooky googly eyes on the lookout for adventure and mischief.  I paired the barrette with an outfit in a patriotically presidential (and somewhat-Superman-like) palette: red, white, and blue.  And also, a little yellow and funky fresh rainbow.

My heart still thumps for "Lump," and whenever I play it on CD, I hit repeat and say, "Play it again, (Uncle) Sam."

I guess that's my party policy.

For the Love of Lincoln . . .

 Rainbow Rectangles Necklace

Tee: Gifted

Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Guess

Scarf: Express

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 I Heart Rainbows Necklace

Top: Material Girl, Macy's

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Loop, Toilet Water, Ocean City

Belt: Wet Seal

 Black and Blue Bow Necklace

Top: Lily White, Target

Dress: XOXO, Macy's

Shoes: Venus

Bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

. . . is an intro no doubt tempting more than one blogger this Valentine's-Day-slash-Presidents'-Day-weekend.  Washington, while not given billing, is paid tribute by the white top on display in outfit number two.  (Well, at least his hair is.)  My faithful Modcloth skirt is included for similar reasons.  Because nothing says you love the USA like a unicorn.

And now, because it would be inappropriate to expound upon presidential passions, we'll move on to the hearts and flowers portion of our program, which will be told through pictures of, well, hearts. And a Little Golden Book.

Here are some valentines I made for my family.  The husband's, I must confess, was store-bought.  (Because when it comes to romance, it's Target or bust.)

Yes, that is Little Golden Books all-star The Poky Little Puppy peeking out of that heart nestled in that lady's hair.

Some nice, old-timey storybook pictures.  I'm especially partial to the prince's blond flip.  

Before I pack it in, I found another nugget for team Washington (something more bankable than unicorns, chances being slim that Washington was a Brony) in the form of this Books-a-Million desk calendar quote:

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."

Wise words, Washington.  I'll never laugh at your teeth again.

Red Letter (Valentine's) Day

 Fabulous Felt Love Knot Necklace

Cardigan: Merona, Target

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Uniquely Different, Etsy

Belt: B Fabulous

Tights: JCPenney

 Fabulous Felt Love Dove Necklace

Dress: Olsenboye, JCPenney

Shoes: Madden Girl, Macy's

Bag: Fred Flare

Coat: She Said, JCPenney

Scarf: Express

 Fabulous Felt Love Blooms Necklace

Sweatshirt: Jenni, Macy's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Bag: Betsey Johnson, ROSS Dress for Less

Scarf: Wet Seal

I realize that it's President's Day.  But there isn't much about George and Abe that screams fun or funny. Unless, of course, you count their patriotic profiles, which may look kind of amusing as the felt focal point of a star-spangled necklace.  Hang on a minute . . .

But no.  Too late.  This post is all about the extravagance that governs (hey, vamoose, legislative language) the glamour of hearts and flowers fashion.  To me, Cupid's calendar lays claim to the height of holiday style.  Sure, Christmas trees, Easter bunnies, and jack o' lanterns get all the press.  But for that unbeatable combination of romance and kitsch, there's no trumping February fourteenth.  Its comely clash of red and pink, punched up by conversation hearts' powerhouse pastels, are the ideal colors for cute candy boxes and crush-worthy dresses.  Not that your plans need be fancy to be festive.  For those who feel more pressure than passion on this lovey-doviest of days, sometimes there's no sweeter celebration than sitting on the sofa with your special someone, sucking down a box of Russell Stover's soft-centered finest.  What's more, Valentine's Day treats are now deeply discounted, which means that it's the perfect time to snag a fresh frilly box for my - er, your - collection . . . and enjoy the snuggle and scarf routine all over again.