Taking a Bite Out of Birthdays: Happy Forty-First to the Husband

Yesterday was the husband's birthday.  The celebration started on Saturday, with a party at my parents'.  My mom decorated this adorable birthday tree and found the coolest candle for the cake.

Sunday was all about recovering from the carbs while re-watching parts of Step Brothers.  At night, we ventured out to the Luminocity Festival in Atlantic City to see these dynamite dinos:

Yes, it was a prehistoric playground intended for kids.  But we got a kick out of it.  And it was certainly more our speed than hitting the clubs like we would've fifteen years ago.  

A night in AC doesn't mean what it used to, but we're more than okay with that.  

Because truth be told, we've both always been a little more kindergartner than club kid.

Sass by the Glass: Grape Expectations

My latest read, The Summer Job, was yet another recommendation from my favorite librarian, Ellie.  This debut novel by Lizzie Dent is the story of Birdy, a loser Londoner who decides to impersonate her bestie as a world-class sommelier for the summer.  Despite being unable to tell a citrus note from a Shasta, Birdy plans to wield her wine goblets at Loch Dorn, a sleepy hotel-slash-restaurant tucked into the Scottish countryside.  It'll be an adventure -- and best of all for suddenly homeless Birdy, rent free.  But things go, ahem, sideways once she realizes that the so-called hole-in-the-wall B&B is actually a posh spot helmed by a Michelin-starred chef.  High profile and demanding, her role as resident grape guru instantly gives her something to worry -- and, yes, wine -- about.  One cringeworthy incident after another tempts her to cork the Chablis and hightail it back to London.  But the quiet charms of a certain chef (not the Michelin man; he's a wanker) paired with her newfound need to succeed keep her as rooted as the cuckooflower for which she and the kitchen staff forage.  Soon, secrets at Loch Dorn and from the home front have Birdy working overtime on more than the wine list, making The Summer Job a classic tale of a screw-up (or, in this case, a screw-top wine aficionado) stepping up to save the day.

This book was the perfect palate cleanser after Nicholas Sparks's beautiful but emotionally draining The Wish.  It made me think of silly stuff like wine o' clock somewhere merch, UB40's "Red Wine," and, of course, Step Brothers's Catalina Wine Mixer, even though I don't drink wine -- or anything fermented.  It's one of those books that's fun to read but would be a trial to live.  At least for me.  Pretending to be a wine expert, or really, any hospitality professional, is at the top of my list of nightmare jobs, right under Uber driver and phlebotomist.  The stress!  The lies!  The hangovers!  It's no wonder poor Birdy didn't go into cardiac arrest and fall headfirst into a glass of Merlot -- even if she did just that metaphorically, as illustrated on the cover.  Indeed, the high-jinks alone are enough to make this novel into a hilarious movie.  I see Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Birdy, partly because Dent sort of looks like her but mostly because of her brand of over-the-top, elegant irreverence.  (Apparently, this was no accident; in the author discussion at the back of the book, Dent shares that Birdy was partially inspired by Fleabag's title character.  Even if Dent did go on to say that she'd choose Gillian Jacobs to play Birdy in a screen adaptation.  No disrespect to you, Gillian -- I loved you in Community -- but no one other than Phoebe Fleabag herself should rakishly don Birdy's apron.)  As for the fetching foodie, Kit Harrington would do very nicely.  His sensitive intensity is just what this recipe requires, even if I'm drawing more upon his performance in Modern Love than Game of Thrones.

But enough fantasy director league chatter.  The point is that The Summer Job serves up a grape escape.  

No doubt about it; Dent's debut goes down easy.   

Valentine Vampire Weekend

Bag: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Jessica Simpson, DSW

Dress: Betsey Johnson, Zulily

Striped bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Yellow bangle: B Fabulous; Red bangle: XOXO, ROSS; Rose comb: Ella & Elly, Zulily; Yellow flower barrettes: Goody, Target; Choker: Ella & Elly, Zulily

Stockings: Zulily

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Ring: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Red bangle: B Fabulous; Strawberry cuff: Don't Ask, Zulily; Bows: Carole, JCPenney

Dress: Candie's, Kohl's; Turtleneck: Kohl's

Bag: Fred Flare

Tights: HUE, Amazon

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's; Embellished by The Tote Trove

Dress: Modcloth, Zulily

Shoes: Katy Perry, Zulily

Blue and red bangles: B Fabulous; Fuchsia bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Hair ties: Marshalls

Whenever I hear that Vampire Weekend song, I always think of Step Brothers.  Which is fitting on this Valentine's Day because it may just be the best bromance ever (I can never decide between it and I Love You, Man.)

Speaking of vampires, the choker I'm wearing in the first pic kind of reminds me of one.  Well, a fancy, fashiony type who'd rather have red beads trickling down its neck than blood.

Anyway, I love dressing up for Valentine's Day.  Many of you already know this, but it's my favorite style holiday.  With red and pink and hearts and lace, it has just the right gleefully girly décor to make for the Barbie best in over-the-top outfits.  Even the desserts are dressed up!  To that point, here's my collection of heart-shaped candy boxes:

Here's me again.  Did I mention that I like to dress up?!

Sweater: So, Kohl's; Choker: Amrita Singh, Zulily; Barrettes: Carole, JCPenney

And here are the gift bags for my nephew, niece, and sister.  I'll be passing them on to the parents at a socially safe distance to deliver to them.

And that's it!  Whatever you're doing, wherever you are, I hope you're having the happiest of Valentine's Days!

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to dip into this year's beautifully bedecked chocolate boxes. :)

Memorial Day the Quarantine Way

Normally on Memorial Day, the husband and I go to a BBQ at my parents' or sister's.  This year, my parents visited us here.  They stood in the driveway and we stayed on the porch, and we talked for about half an hour.  Then I put my mom's Mother's Day gift on the porch and went inside, and she and my dad put some food on the porch for us.  We waved goodbye from the window.  It was the first time we'd seen them since March.  Actually, it was the first time I'd seen anyone (other than the husband) since March.  And it was kind of strange.  But also nice.

Outfit-wise, I went for stripes and stripes instead of stars and stripes.  Or maybe I should say stripes and chevron.  I've never had a (non-formal) dress this long, mostly because I'm so short.  But I liked the pattern and colors so much that I decided to get it anyway.  Also, I finally painted my toenails!  Memorial Day might be different this year, but busting out my bunions (er, feet) still says summer. 

As does the lemon.  I made this Lottie Lemonade Necklace using a lemon slice charm that I ordered from Amazon.  It's semi-clear and takes on the color of its background like a thirst-quenching chameleon.       

Lottie Lemonade Necklace

So Happy Memorial Day.  May it be the start of a summer of sunshine, fruit-themed everything, and all-inclusive-resort-worthy beverages, whether you enjoy them at the beach or on some fancy yacht or incubated in your humble abode.  Because lemons can grow anytime, anywhere.  But it's up to us to make them sweeter.

Which is, yes, a drawn-out and syrupy way of saying the whole when life hands you lemons thing.  It's fun to play with clichés, isn't it?          

Now I'll leave you in peace so you can watch Cops and gnaw on leftover hot dogs.  

TV Tuesday: From VIP to DIY: Anything but Vanilla

When I caught my first glimpse of Vanilla Ice wielding a level in a Palm Beach palace, I thought I was seeing things (and also, of course, that something wasn't -- ha ha -- on the level).  But a closer look assured me that the '90s pop icon had indeed abandoned rapping for rafters to star in a reality show called -- you guessed it -- The Vanilla Ice Project.  At first I didn't know if it was more unbelievable that Vanilla Ice, or rather, Robert Van Winkle, somehow picked up and mastered a trade, or that gazillionaires let him into their homes, let alone remodel them.  But the bf stopped at least one of those stumpers in its tracks, informing me that Van Winkle (I'm sorry, I just can't do it), Ice and his crew aren't hands for hire; rather, they're restoring a mansion that Ice purchased and will eventually flip.  By this point, you're probably thinking, hey, what the heck kind of TV Tuesday post is this?!  Believe me, I feel your pain.  But summer means slim (TV) pickings.  Also, I can't help but be amused by the lyrical poet-turned-laborer and thought you might be, too.  Although my viewings of "VIP" have been few and far between, I was hoping to see some graffiti-style murals, day-glo upholstery, and/or industrial-grade chandeliers from which the Ice Man could swing in unchecked homage to '90s camp culture.  Because say what you will, but to echo that scene in Step Brothers where Mary Steenburgen rationalizes how Adam Scott stole the high school talent show from Will Ferrell with a Vanilla Ice impersonation: "Ice Ice Baby" is "a really good song."