Pop Goes the Evil: Corns and (Pineapple) Palaces

 That 70s Grow Necklace

Top: Self Esteem, Macy's

Skirt: TJ Maxx

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Bag: Old Navy

Flower bangle: Mixit, J. C. Penney's

Striped bangle: ZAD, Zulily

Blue bead bracelet: Cloud Nine

Beaded bracelet: Plymouth Plantation gift shop

Pompom charm bracelet: Zulily

 People of the Pineapples Necklace

Top: Decree, J. C. Penney's

Skirt: Worthington, J. C. Penney's

Shoes: Shoe Carnival

Bag: Circus by Sam Edelman, Kohl's

Belt: J. C. Penney's

Pineapple purse charm: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Palm leaf purse charm: Michaels

Catherine the Ornate Necklace

Top: Self Esteem, J. C. Penney's

Skirt: Celebrity Pink, Macy's

Shoes: Guess, Marshalls

Bag: J. C. Penney's

Beaded bangle: Amrita Singh, Zulily

Other bangles: B Fabulous

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Barrette: The Tote Trove

You've heard of Children of the Corn.  Well, this is People of the Pineapples.  Except it's a necklace, not a horror movie.  And I made it because I enjoy bringing you the best in off-putting produce.  That said, corn and pineapples aren't all that different.  Both are yellow and segmented, with a green tuft on top.  And in this case, both are haunted by undead spirits: the corn by frightening farm kids, and the pineapples by severed head silhouettes.  Which are more than likely children, too, but the kind that come from the city.

Pineapples, at least, can be playful.  As in, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  SpongeBob SquarePants!"  The scariest thing to ever happen on that cartoon was Squidward playing his clarinet.  

But corn -- corn is something else.  It's stringy and strange and gets stuck in your teeth and dies an awful death come autumn.  Talk about Kernel Killjoy!  I've never seen Children of the Corn, and if all goes well, I never will.  Nevertheless, its namesake villainous veggie has begun to work its black magic.  Here it is, less than a week after my summer-ain't-over-until-it's-over Labor Day post, and I'm already ranting about a topic that would be more at home on Halloween.  I'm pitting the summer pineapple against the harvest corn husk -- a starch I secretly love -- and I hate what it's doing to me.

No wonder they say that corn syrup's the devil.

Here's hoping that your corn stays sweet and unspoiled.  And that it finds some other poor sap to stalk.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Amidst the Twee?

 Tropical Tassel Necklace

Painted Desert Necklace

Top: Jennifer Lopez Collection, Kohl's

Skirt: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: H&M

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

Tote.  Trove.  Lad-y!  Or, maybe I should have asked, who lives in a Dutch colonial amidst the pineapples?  (SpongeBob and Patrick would understand; Squidward not so much).  Have I moved to Hawaii?  Or to an alternate universe with a tropical farm market run by cartoons?  If only.  No, I'm talking about plain old pedestrian knickknacks.  The husband and I decided to put one of the pineapple persuasion in every room of our house.  Out of all of them (and there are many), only these two are photogenic.  The other pineapples already hate them and are starving themselves with the hope that they'll be picked next time.

The door knocker was originally brass, but the husband painted it in vibrant shades of green, brown, and yellow.  He spent a lot of time getting the brown just right.  It turned out great, really popping against the red door.

Speaking of home decor, I recently saw a pillow (IRL or on Pinterest; I can't tell the difference anymore) that said "I'd rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of stuff."  And I thought . . . nah, I'll take the stuff.  Partly because I hate packing and hotel duvets and tour buses with guides named Eugene.  Partly because I love stuff.  Buying stuff, collecting stuff, finding places to put stuff, wearing stuff, photographing stuff, pinning stuff, writing about stuff, looking at stuff.  You know how Oprah says, "I love bread!"?  Well, that's how I feel about stuff.  So, when I sat down this week to make some new stuff (and by stuff I of course mean necklaces), it made sense that it would involve pineapples (albeit tiny ones).  And also a cactus.

Good old P & P.  A pair of prickly pals, to be sure -- but more than that, friends to the end.  Kind of like SpongeBob and Patrick.

But not Squidward.  No one likes that dude.

Mermaid in the Shade: Look at this Stuff, isn't it Sweet?

Heartland and Sand Charm Necklace

Top: Wet Seal
Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

 Nautical Nonsense Necklace 

Colorful Carnival Cuff  

Nautical Nonsense Bracelet

Yellow top: Marshalls

Striped top: Aeropostale 

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Belt: Apt. 9., Kohl's

Ocean Love Potion Necklace 

Magical Mermaid Hairpins 

Top: JCPenney

Skirt: Amazon

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

First, a note about the "stuff."  The store-bought as opposed to handmade stuff, that is.  A chunk of it comes from the Internet, most notably my good pal Pinterest.  This Dolls Kill seashell bag and these Zulily BAIT wedges started life on my Bright Bags and Show-Stopping Shoes boards but ended up in my closet.  And I first spied these Amazon skater skirts on The Big Hair Diaries blog, where big hair aficionado Samantha regularly rocks them in a rainbow of colors.  That's what I love about the web: shopaholics helping shopaholics, one purchase at a time. :)   

Now that that's out of the way, on to the mermaids.  Because they're having a moment.  Pinterest (I told you she was a pal) is swimming with bags, tees, mugs, jewelry, you name it, splashed with images of these salty sirens.  Even the beach shop down the street from me boasts a "mermaid room" where you can have your picture taken as one such maritime maven.  I think it's for kids, but then those tails looked mighty long.  

Of course, I've always been hip to mermaids' magic.  Even as a second grader I wanted to be one in our class anti-pollution movie (yes, you read that right; no plays for us in high tech, 1980s South Jersey) even though my teacher had me slated to portray the "philosophical fish," a peacock feather-wielding do-gooder who warned humans of the dangers of discarding uncut plastic soda can rings.  This was right around the time The Little Mermaid came out, and as such, the height of my Ariel obsession.  Needless to say, it was farewell feather, hello fins!  Wearing that orange sequinned, slightly smelly rented mermaid costume made me feel far more glamorous than the humdrum hat and cape of that know-it-all fish ever could.

One of the things mermaids are known for (besides promoting recycling) is their enchanted tresses.  Ariel famously ran a fork (er, dinglehopper) through her fiery, animated locks, and any woman with a long, flowing mane is said to have mermaid hair.  So, when I set out to embellish my very first set of hairpins, I thought, why not go with seashells?  Pastel and pearlized, they make just the right contrast to the dramatic black pins.  Although I love the way they turned out, I still wanted to make something brighter, bolder, and, yes, bubbling over with big, bad beachiness.  And so I spawned this matching Ocean Love Potion Necklace.  Because if there's something else that mermaids are known for (besides luring sailors to their death), then it's sporting seashells on their chests.  

Or, at least sometimes.  For this wasn't always the case for the Stowaway With Me mermaid mascot:

This sign, oddly, is not in Brigantine, or anywhere else at the Jersey shore, but on a not-quite stretch of highway enroute to Philadelphia.  It's been there as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until ten or so years ago that the management of Stowaway Storage saw fit to cover mistress mermaid with a pink seashell bra.  (To be fair, pre-bra, her hair strategically covered her most scandalous bits.)  The why remains a mystery.  Who knows; maybe Stowaway was getting too many late night phone calls from sailors looking for a good time.  Elaine (because let's call her that, for reasons that may or may not be clear at the end of this paragraph) does have a big ass phone number plastered right next to her head. Also, if these Nautical Nonsense Necklace and Bracelet photographs are any indicator, then she has a shore thing for sponges, cartoon and otherwise.  

Sounds kind of fishy to me.

Ahoy! Ship Shapes Sail into Summer

 Fabulous Felt Yellow Anchor Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: DKNY, Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

 Fabulous Felt Black Anchor Necklace

Tee: Merona. Target

Skirt: H&M

Cardigan: Modcloth

Shoes: Nine West, DSW

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Belt: Marshalls

Fabulous Felt Beach Day Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City 

Or maybe I should say "out of summer."  Every year, without fail, I'm surprised by the supernova that is August.  The season seems to culminate in this third, fireball of a month -- the temperature is at its highest (despite the slightly darker days), and most people wait until then to go on vacation.  Then poof!  It's time for backpacks and pumpkin spice everything. (My Spidey senses tell me that I've used this bit about pumpkins in past anti-fall rants, but then what's a post about seasonal repetition without some recycled wordplay?).  It's as if people know that they have to squeeze out the last drop, and as part of those "people," I'm no different.  Except that I'm scrambling to post the rest of my warm weather favorites and backlog of fun-in-the-sun pictures instead of getting in that last round of beach time.  I'm none too optimistic that I'll have trotted them all out by Labor Day, so watch this spot for ice cream and mermaids well into October.  Nobody likes fall anyway, right?

So that's what's up with this beach scene and anchors, all three of which have been treading water in the kiddie pool of my imagination since April.  I was tempted to call at least one of the anchors the Nautical Nonsense Necklace but decided not to for fear of angering the SpongeBob people.  "Boat stuff," though, as I like to think of it, has always been pretty eye-catching.  My favorite type of boat used to be the sailboat on account of its bright, festive, well, sail.  I was so taken with sailboats that I thought I might like to climb aboard one one day.  Then I found out that they're among the most dangerous of the watercraft, what with being whipped about the sea willy-nilly due to that deceptively carefree, nothing-but-a-good-time sail.  

Somehow, I don't think that's what Poison (or the SpongeBob people) had in mind.

Hey, Sailor

 Fabulous Felt You Are My Anchor Barrette

Top: Victoria's Secret

Jeans: Olsenboye, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Kenneth Cole Reaction

 Rose Riot Corsage Necklace

Dress: Jessica Simpson, Marshalls

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Old Navy

*If the two shots of this Rose Riot Corsage Necklace look a little bit different, then it's because they are.  To my dismay, I ran out of pink acrylic pearls halfway through making the necklace in picture number one.  I couldn't find any more in the stores, so I settled for the oversized white acrylic pearls to finish the job.  Guess what?  I ended up liking the asymmetrical, funky look better than the matchy-matchy one that I initially went for.  So, I've listed the (still perfectly pretty) pink version and look forward to sporting the "mess-up" one myself.  Let's hear it for happy accidents!       

Fabulous Felt Gone Fishing Barrette

Top: Urban Outfitters

Cardigan: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Skirt: So, Kohl's
Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Loop, Marshalls

There comes a time in every blogger's tenure when she must decide whether or not to assume the voice of a pirate.  So before I sail on, Bill Murray-as-What-About-Bob?-style, with this week's silly soliloquy, I've elected to assume that voice now, as in, "Thanks for not making me walk the plank on account of me wordplay, me mateys."  

With that, time to shove off (to the rest of this post).

The Jessica Simpson dress in outfit number two is va-va-voom in a down-home kind of way, not unlike Ms. Simpson herself.  Perhaps if Brandy had donned such a stunner, then her sailor would've never said, "my life, my lover, my lady, is the sea."  Then again, she probably could've suited up like a Vegas showgirl with similar results - he seemed like just that sort of cad.  Most men (or sea creatures; I'm talking to you, SpongeBob) would do anything but "sail away, sail away, sail away" from such delightfully nautical nonsense.  Take that, Looking Glass.  On second thought, don't.  Cad notwithstanding, you still beat out Enya.

Featured Artist: Karen of Kaytea Originals

This week’s featured artist is fellow Etsy NJ member Karen of Kaytea Originals. A seamstress with style, Karen offers hand-sewn goodies ranging from bags to embellished towels with journals and baby accessories mixed in to accommodate everyone on your gift-giving list this holiday season (see above for some teaser shots). So read on to find about the woman behind the needle; then hightail it to her shop for some one-of-a-kind finds!

1. The Tote Trove (TTT): In your Etsy shop profile, you say, “As a teen, I became interested in sewing, and all my friends thought I was crazy. They went to the malls to purchase whatever they wanted; I stayed at home trying to sew the newest designs.” I thought that was so cool. How did designing your own clothes influence your personal style?

Karen (K): I wanted to duplicate the things I saw in the magazines but add my own personal flair.

2. TTT: Where do you find inspiration for your projects?

K: Almost everywhere!

3. TTT: How did you learn to sew? Did you have a mentor or are you self-taught?

K: My mother originally taught me, and then I experimented on my own.

4. TTT: How did you decide to turn your passion for making things into a business?

K: I was trying to break out of the 9-5 system, trying to make it doing something I really enjoy.

5. TTT: What is your favorite item in your shop?

K: My black and white pillows and trash basket.

6. TTT: What items, if any, would you like to add to your shop?

K: I’d like to add wedding items and, eventually, men and women’s clothing.

7. TTT: Describe your creative process. Do you follow a routine, create when inspiration strikes, or a little bit of both?

K: A little bit of both.

8. TTT: What is the best thing about running your own business? The worst?

K: The best is that I’m the boss. The worst is being on my own and trying to market my products in a very competitive world.

9. TTT: How did you discover Etsy?

K: I was watching Good Morning America about two years ago.

10. TTT: Do you sell your work in venues outside of Etsy (i.e., other sites, craft shows, etc.)? If yes, then how does selling online differ from selling in person?

K: I used to do craft shows, but I work in addition to my Etsy business, so I find it difficult to keep my stock up.

11. TTT: Who is most (emotionally) supportive of your business?

K: My family, because in my spare time I’m usually sewing.

12. TTT: Are there any new artistic/creative skills you’d like to learn?

K: Yes; hat making.

13. TTT: Tell us about life outside of Kaytea Originals. Do you have a job in addition to your business? Hobbies? Family? Pets?

K: I work as a full-time school nurse, have a hubby and family, and love Jesus and want to reflect his characteristics in my life.

14. TTT: What are your hopes for Kaytea Originals in the future?

K: Growth, recognition, sales, and perhaps collaborating with other businesses.

15. TTT: BONUS QUESTION. Just for fun, if you were stranded on a deserted island and had to eat the same thing every day, what would it be? You can pick a drink and a dessert, too. (I find that dreaming up a whole meal makes this game more entertaining!)

K: Shrimp and coconut milk shakes.

Thanks for dropping in to meet Karen! Be sure to take a peek at her Etsy shop. Until next week, keep crafting!