Trash Bash: Celebrating (and Berating) Stinky

 

In the spirit of revisiting the nostalgia and wisdom of TV shows from my childhood, I finally took a gander at The Pursuit of Grouchiness: Oscar the Grouch's Guide to Life, which is a gift book I got last Christmas.  Now, there are only three other famous Oscars that I can think of: Oscar from The Office, Oscar Mayer, and that gold statue that everyone in Hollywood covets come award season.  Needless to say, this book isn't about any of them, but the not-so-loveable character who lives on the seamier side of Sesame Street.  Everyone knows that Oscar the Grouch is a misanthrope in Muppet's clothing, a naysayer of the first order who's probably been kicked by life even more than his trash can.  

This would probably be a good time to reveal that I've spent most of my life as a pessimist -- in other words, a better-smelling Oscar, but an Oscar all the same.  These last few years, though, I've turned a corner into optimist territory, and I'll be the first to admit that it's a much brighter, more beautiful, and all around easier place to live.  Nevertheless, the snarky ghost of Tracy past couldn't help cracking a smile at some of Oscar's less-than-sunny-sentiments.  Here are some of my (her?) favorite parts.  Even if one is the about the author page.  

"We're grouches, we can only be happy when it rains."

Whoa.  A garbage can dweller who's only happy when it rains?!  Is it me, or was Garbage front woman Shirley Manson inspired to name her band and first hit single after the original Dumpster diver?   

"Morning people annoy me.  So do all other people."

I think this one speaks for itself.

"Oscar the Grouch doesn't need to explain himself to you.  

He lives in a trash can on Sesame Street."

I like this one because I still struggle to not explain myself.  

And finally, here's the incongruously upbeat bookmark I used to mark the aforementioned Oscar and friends (enemies? frenemies?) page.  Tricked out with the neon peace sign, yin yang, and happy face that were the poster child trio of '60s-turned-'90s pop culture, it stands for pretty much everything that Oscar doesn't. 

That said, the, ahem, Oscar (Emmy?  No, just go with the bit) goes to . . .

. . . Oscar the Grouch for his portrayal of a curmudgeon on Sesame Street! 

 Because anyone who expends that much enthusiasm for being miserable is, deep down, loving life.  

Hair Wear Flair: Knots Banding

Left to right: Ella & Elly, Zulily; So, Kohl's; Lady Arya, Zulily

If you were around in the '80s, then you know all about the super squad quad of nighttime soaps that included Dynasty, Falcon Crest, Dallas, and Knots Landing.  My parents were fans of all four, so their theme songs, along with the ones for Sesame Street and Mister Rogers, are firmly lodged in my mind.  To me, that music always meant drama, glamour, and, above all else, big shoulder pads and much bigger hair.  And what better way to tamp down or amp up a bitchin' bouffant than with a happenin' headband?

Ah, headbands, those timeless comrades of the cranium.  In the early '90s, I remember soft headwraps accented with knots as being a thing.  I had one in mustard that anchored my teased bangs during many a mall crawl and math class.  So when knot-topped hard headbands recently came into style, I thought, hey, I know you.  More sculptural than their pliable predecessors, these twisty finishing touches add the kind of oomph that can come from only a tiny yet towering turban.  I quickly acquired a trio (above), two striped and one rainbow metallic.  Wearing them makes me feel happy, nostalgic and trendsetting all at once.  

So the next time I'm watching The Undoing or A Million Little Things, I'll reminisce about how my love of stories and accessories started.

To paraphrase one of my favorite songs from the '80s:

"Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?  Ooh, Heaven is a place on earth."

You know.  If heaven were a hair doodad that didn't feel like it was squeezing your skull.  

Coats? Totes. Unless No One Says That Anymore.

Dress: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bag: Dolls Kill

Pink bangle: Don't Ask, Zulily; Maroon bangle: Iris Apfel for INC, Macy's; Blue bangle: B Fabulous; Yellow bangle: Later Operator, Etsy; Ring: Delia's

Blue Bell Spell Necklace

Bag: Nordstrom

Skirt: Tinseltown, Macy's

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Flower bracelet: Belk's; Green bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Giraffe bracelet: Target; Watch: Zulily; Ring: Mixit, JCPenney

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bag: Delia's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily

Dress: POPSUGAR, Kohl's

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Headband: Capelli, ULTA; Yellow bangle: B Fabulous; Striped bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Floral bangle: JCPenney; Ring: Making Waves, Ocean City

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

"Totes" and its offspring, "totes magotes," are firmly planted in the parlance of the 2010s.  The only other phrase I remember post-2000 is "throwing (someone) under the bus," which was yet another unfortunate offshoot from that beast known as reality TV.  No, the slang that really sticks in my head is the kind coined in the '90s.  First periods and pimples have a way of cementing stuff.  Here are my lingo list-toppers:

As if.

Don't go there.

Whatever.

Talk to the hand.

Not!

Not! was my favorite.  I said it a lot.  And with that settled, we can move on.  

I know there's only one coat in this post, but the plural means that there are more on the horizon (also, how else would I have wedged in "totes"?!).  This blue number is what's called a teddy coat.  Teddy as in bear because the people at Nine West think it's cuddly.  The husband thinks it looks like Cookie Monster.  Which isn't bad, as far as fictional furballs go.  At least it's not a Gremlin; I'll take it.

Coat: Nine West, Kohl's

Also on the near-junk food front, we have this Emboldened Arches Necklace.  Sadly, no French fries were harmed in the making of it.  

Emboldened Arches Necklace

And now on to calendar news!  I can't believe that next week is winter.  The sun will set on autumn, signaling Mother Nature to spin her sorcery -- and make snow cones.  So I thought now was a good time to post this fally pic of a sunset that the husband took outside our house.  I like to think of it as Pastel Parade Over the Pasture.  True, there aren't any horses.  But that barn-like structure suggests that there could be.    

Finally, here's more nature, albeit of an artificial kind:

In past years, I've perched these little red birds on my Christmas tree or banister.  This year I said, "Hang out on this holly bush.  You'll like it."  Because as every holiday hoarder knows, the cardinal rule of decorating is mixing things up.

Just like with winter weather.

Not!

No Llama Drama: Where the Mild Things Are . . .

Wild Fable, Target

Candie's, Kohl's

Candie's, Kohl's

Lily White, Marshalls

 . . . is where I'll be.  As you know, I'm a homebody bookworm, and the craziest thing about me is my clothes.  That said, safari styles make it easy for me to, well, roar.  Because animal prints are fierce.  Whether leopard, zebra, tiger, or even flamingo, this toothsome trend says, "Don't mess with me."  But then, "trend" is something of a misnomer.  Because animal prints have been around since "The Flintstones."  They're as classic as cat fights and as timeless as bar brawls.  And no, cat fights and bar brawls are not the same thing.  Meows hold more menace than punches.

What is trendy is the zooful of cute creatures that graces everything from pillows to ponchos.  First it was owls, then foxes, then sloths.  And now it's llamas.  Known for their sweet, soulful faces and boho chic vibe, these four-legged lovelies are parading through their fifteen minutes of fame festooned with feathers and pompoms.  This colorful canvas could be their mascot: 

Me and my llama.

I wish I could take credit for making it, but that honor goes to Marshalls.  Just as the honor for making my faux jumpsuit (really just a matching top and jeans; you know I don't do rompers) goes to JCPenney.  I did make these Llama Mama necklaces, though.  One for you (or rather, the craft buying public), one for me.

 Llama Mama Necklace

That said, here are some factoids about llamas.  They come from Trip Savvy, which I've decided not to link to because some day that link will die, leaving a big black hole in this post.  The text after each quote, though, isn't from Trip Savvy but me -- with some help from The Lion King. 

- "Llamas know their own limits.  If you try to overload a llama with too much weight, the llama is likely to lie down or simply refuse to move." 

Don't let people burden you with more than you can handle.  Play dead if you have to to show those bullies who's boss!

- "Llamas don't bite.  They spit when they're agitated, but that's mostly at each other." 

When it comes to the circle of life, don't eat or be eaten.  Live and let live.  Squabbles with your nearest and dearest, however, are always part of the deal.

- "Llama poop has almost no odor.  Llama farmers refer to llama manure as "llama beans."  It makes great, eco-friendly fertilizer.  The Incas in Peru burned dried llama poop for fuel." 

If possible, then don't make a stink.  And leave things a little bit better than you found them. 

So simple, yet so philosophical.  We could learn a lot from the llama.

Especially the part about spitting.

Red, White, and Fruit: Sail Away, Sale Away, Snail Mail Play

This blog isn't always about the things that I make.  Sometimes it's about the things that I buy.  And the last best things that I bought were from Charming Charlie.  The online version, that is, as the nearest brick and mortar is kind of far from me.  Anyway, you know how sometimes you order something, and it comes and you're like, ugh, this sucks?  Well, this was the opposite of that.  (And no, Charming Charlie isn't paying me.  Although I kind of wish they would.  CC, if you're out there, throw some bangles my way tout de suite.)  Every piece was bigger and better than I thought it'd be.  I was especially excited because I'd first spotted the grape purse charm last year, and it was still in stock -- at half price!

Speaking of the funky bunch (and no, I don't mean you, Marky Mark), it's time for a rousing round of "one of these things is not like the others; one of these things just does not belong."  (Sing it loud, sing it proud, Bert and Ernie.)  'Cause we've got an anchor necklace; a red, white, and blue ice pop wristlet; and a star-spangled pouch -- which are all very nautical -- and a bunch of sparkly grapes -- which is not.  Unless, of course, the nautical in question refers to a yacht instead of a speedboat/sailboat/down-and-dirty dingy.  And what's a yacht without big, juicy grapes being served by Paul Rudd in a Speedo?  (Too far?  I was thisclose to calling this post Hoarder Up.  So.  Restraint practiced and all of that.)

That said, enjoy the soothing sounds of the Enya classic that has undoubtedly been playing in your head since you first scanned this title.  Also that not-so-soothing Styx classic.  I could go on, but like Michael Stipe, I've said too much.

So much for restraint.

Fiesta, Fleur-Ever

Trippy Hippie Choker

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

Shorts: Merona, Target

Shoes: MIA, JCPenney

Bag: Loop, Marshalls

Sunglasses: Michaels

Watch: A.C. Moore

Bracelet: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Ring: Seahorse Designs, Etsy 

Patty Pompom Necklace

Top: Byer, Boscov's

Skirt: ROSS Dress for Less

Bag: Delia's

Shoes: Qupid, DSW

Sunglasses: The Tote Trove

Barrette: The Tote Trove

Bangles: Mixit, JCPenney

Ring: Making Waves, Ocean City

Fiery Flowers Necklace

Top: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Jeans: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Shoes: Nine West, DSW

Bag: The Tote Trove

Sunglasses: Party City

Orange bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Yellow bangle: B Fabulous

Ring: Making Waves

Question 1: How many bloggers, myself included, have referenced Lionel Richie's "All Night Long" in a post about Cinco de Mayo?  

Question 2: Is it wrong to use the French word for "flower" instead of the Spanish one in a post about Cinco de Mayo (even if the French word is only one syllable instead of two, making for a more rhythmic pun)?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I do know that Cinco de Mayo is fun and festive and makes me want to make south of the border accessories.  (It also makes me think of counting to ten in Spanish on "Sesame Street" and of (the less kid-friendly) "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy).").  So, to celebrate, I'm shaking things up like a bunch of maracas.  For one thing, I've given Tammy the weekend off (right now she's taking a much-needed siesta after one too many margaritas) and instead photographed my outfits hodgepodge-collage style on the floor, backlit by a bevy of my beloved backdrops.  I like these messy new configurations (if something as scientific-sounding as a configuration can be called messy), and I think the colors came out more vibrant, too.  They're also ideal layouts for (finally!) displaying my quirky cute cocktail umbrellas which have been, until now, cooped up in my craft room.

The USPS is also in on the party (now, there's a transition you don't hear every day).  Last week when I went to the post office to buy stamps, they offered me flowers, birds, or these:

They're a little hard to see, but these stamps feature colorful illustrations of traditional Mexican dishes, including empanadas, tamales, and, my personal favorite, flan (who doesn't crave that caramel custard treat?).  One look at the appetizing images had me saying, "I'll take those" to the surprised postal worker.  And now they're out and about in the world, bringing joy (and takeout envy) to the gas company, the electric company, and my dear friends at Macy's.    

Sigh.  I could go for a churro.

Oscar the Pouch: The Envelope, Please

Cross My Heart Necklace 

Festival Flair Envelope Bag

Pink top: Decree, JCPenney

Maroon blouse: Kohl's

Skirt: Bubblegum, Macy's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: JCPenney

Garden Party Envelope Bag

Top: Marshalls

Dress: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Payless

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's 

Fruit Bowl Envelope Bag

Top: Marshalls

Skirt (a dress!): Modcloth

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: JCPenney

I almost called this post "Oscar the Slouch," but catchy though that was, it didn't make much sense.  Another contender was "Oscar the Couch," as that's where I (and probably you) am glued tonight, watching Kimmel crack jokes as Hollywood's finest compete for little gold men.  (So far, my favorite part is when Kimmel made it rain Red Vines and Junior Mints from the ceiling.)  But it was "Oscar the Pouch" that, ahem, took the title.  Because I'm writing about receptacles, damn it.  And also, I like kangaroos.  

It's not every crafter that would embellish Oscar-themed clutches with pompoms and felt, but then, I'm not every crafter.  Or, for that matter, every Oscars viewer, having seen exactly one of the films nominated (Florence Foster Jenkins), my cinematic speed being more Sesame Street than serious.  Which is just one of the reasons I'm giving a shout-out to everyone's favorite garbage can-dwelling Muppet.    

These shoulder bag-slash-clutches, although not exactly an example of "from trash to treasure" (they're brand spanking new, thank you very much), reflect a kind of artfully messy kitchen sink (that garbage can of the plumbing world) aesthetic.  Taking their cues from festivals to gardens to fruit bowls near you, they let you carry -- and communicate -- a little bit of what's imperfect and exceptional about the everyday (not unlike -- funny connection -- movies).  After all, what better way to send a style message than in a good, old-fashioned envelope?    

I like to think that Oscar would give his stamp of approval.