From left to right: Self Esteem, Macy's; Delia's, Dolls Kill
When I first saw the commercials for The Celebrity Dating Game hosted by Zooey Deschanel and Michael Bolton, I was like, what?! I couldn't remember a duo that bizarre since that Martha Stewart and Snoop Dog ad for Tostitos. Which is to say, I had to watch it.
The show, which airs on Mondays on ABC, is a reboot (yes, another one!) of The Dating Game, which first aired in 1965. As a nod to that peace and love era, the set is adorned with big, groovy purple flower décor (just as this very post is decked out with swirly sweet tie dye tees). And in the tradition of 1983's Love Connection, 1995's Singled Out, and, yes, the original The Dating Game, its "plot" centers around one lonesome lad or lady grilling three randos in an attempt to find love. Only in this case, the on-the-prowl soul is a secret celebrity hidden from the hopefuls. The celebrity asks the competitors a series of questions, ostensibly to determine their compatibility but really to entertain us, and the answers are as ridiculous as you'd expect. For example, when comedian Nicole Byer asked one particularly dubious dude to describe love, he said that it was "like taking a dump." So, it's all pretty cringeworthy. But not bad background TV to craft to. Indeed, one contestant's dream date for former bachelorette Hannah Brown (this is, after all, ABC), was none other than crafting, a suggestion that inspired Deschanel to pipe up, "I love crafting!"
Speaking of Deschanel, I can only surmise that the indie darling is hosting this show ironically. But I've seen enough celebs-turned-game-show-hosts on late night (Deschanel just lack week on Kimmel included), to know that she's contract-bound to never admit it. Yet gimmicky gig or not, I always dig Deschanel's performances -- and wardrobe. For The Celebrity Dating Game premier, she wore an adorable ruffly red and white dress that made her look like a valentine.
As for Bolton, I think he's laughing on the inside too. He'd have to be, as his job is to sing a parody of a famous love song filled with clues about the celebrity's identity. Like most of us, I can't think of Bolton without remembering his Fabio locks or that Office Space line where one of the Bobs (John C. McGinley) asks office drone Michael Bolton (David Herman) what his favorite Bolton song is and he, despite his hatred of the crooner, squeaks out, "All of them."
Anyway, each episode of The Celebrity Dating Game ends with the celebrity selecting a suitor (or suitress?) and hugging him or her awkwardly. Deschanel and company blow the signature Dating Game kisses out into the ether, and then . . . that's it. No one goes on a date. Which, although anticlimactic, is probably for the best, especially considering the aforementioned bathroom humor hijinks.
And now for this Electric Elephant Rampage Necklace, which has nothing to do with The Celebrity Dating Game except that I'm "rebooting," or rather, posting a new pic of it on Etsy:
So come Monday, will I tune in to the next installment of The Celebrity Dating Game? As they say, all's fair in love and ratings wars.
And as I say, as long as there are accessories to be made, I'll give it -- if not a swirly -- a whirl.