If Seeing is Believing, Then I'll Stay a Skeptic

 Purple Sherbet Shenanigans Necklace

Sweater: Poof, Marshalls

Tank: Hollister, Marshalls

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

 Rainbow Ruckus Necklace

Blouse: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Tank: Hollister, Marshalls

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betseyville, Marshalls

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 Candy Collage Barrettes

Top: Lily Star, Target

Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Shoes: Candie's, Kohl's

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Belt: Wet Seal

Pink Sherbet Shenanigans Necklace

Top: Delia's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Belt: Tournier Everything's $10 

I've always loved rainbow sherbet.  As a kid, I used to eat it out of cylindrical brown Pyrex bowls that made the stripes of green, pink, and orange even more magically neon.  Looking at this week's dessert-themed accessories, I wish I would've made and photographed a rainbow sherbet sundae.  In an old-fashioned ice cream parlor glass, though, not a circa 1975 piece of Pyrex.  Partly because I've been itching to bust out said glasses since my going-on-two-years-ago bridal shower.  Partly because it would've been pretty.  But mostly because it would've been a great excuse to eat ice cream in January.  But then, hindsight's 20/20.  Unlike my vision.  

Yep, it's an out-there segue, even for me.  But I promise it's a relevant one.  See, I recently discovered that I'm becoming more dependent on my glasses.  I wear them mostly just for driving but found that I need them more and more, a realization that dawned after I hatched an "experiment" to wear them all day. (I didn't say it was a sophisticated experiment.)  Sharper eyesight, however, led to another unpleasant revelation, namely that I had a gray hair or two.  "I've been living in a fool's paradise!" I thought, channeling that old lady from the Swifter commercial.  Sure, these flaws are minor and could be easily remedied by hair dye and contacts (although "easily" is a relative term considering my aversion to salons and sticking things in my eyes).  But then, it isn't what's happening that's giving me pause.  It's what what's happening represents, namely, that I'm getting, if not old, exactly, then older.

Paradoxically, wearing glasses full time makes me feel like I'm going backwards.  In TV and movies, spectacles always spell disaster.  They eradicate the "it" factor from cool girls and prevent diamonds in the rough from achieving their sparkle.  Except, of course, in that coterie of hip-to-be-square goddesses who sometimes wear glasses and sometimes don't.  Like Zooey Deschanel's Jess on "New Girl," or Tina Fey's Kate in Baby Mama. (I'd go with Liz in "30 Rock," but I think she almost always wore glasses in that, which wouldn't do much to help my case.  Besides, it was re-watching Baby Mama on FX recently that first set me off on this tangent, and I like to give credit where credit is due.)  Are we to assume that these characters are wearing contacts when they're not wearing glasses?  Or that they're just not seeing as well?  I sure hope it's the latter, because that's what I've been doing for the last 16-odd years, and I'd love for some reputable source to sanction it.  After all, Hollywood's haphazard, devil-may-care attitude toward glasses has probably, at least in some small way, contributed to my reluctance to be a 24/7 four eyes.  Their attitude toward eyewear is sort of "Now I want to look smart! Wait, now I want to look pretty!", which is kind of confusing.   Because despite my (and let's be honest, most women's) ever-ardent desire to look pretty, if there's anything I learned while dodging my optometrist's near-heroic attempts to fit me for contacts, then it's that my squeamishness outweighs my vanity (no surprise there, really, as I've avoided plucking my eyebrows and bleaching my teeth for similar reasons). Which makes me wonder.  Is wearing glasses a sign of weakness, a kind of white flag that you've given up on your looks?  Or is it a mark of maturity that you've transcended such shallow concerns?  

I think the title of this post tips my hand on that one.  Which is to say that I'll have my cake (sherbet?) and eat it too (a dubious saying if ever there was one because what would you do with cake if you didn't eat it?) by being a mere part-time Poindexter.  At least until I hit forty and succumb to bifocals.

Here's a Little Something to Chew On . . .

. . . while I cook up a storm of new stuff in my kitsch kitchen.  It's my latest shipment of gumball beads!  Sure, the shot's a little blurry and the arrangement of the beads is a little haphazard, but I think the promise of exciting projects to come still shines through.  I'm not ashamed to admit that gumball beads are one of my latest obsessions (another is toy tea sets -- but more on that next time).  I love how they manage to marry the cray cray and the everyday (despite my vow to never say, much less write, the word "cray cray," the siren call of that rhyme really snared me) in a look that's fun and easy but still full of flavor -- just like gumballs themselves (imaginary gumballs, that is, not the real ones that taste like wallpaper paste after five or six chews).

Speaking of crafting (and, really, when are we not speaking of it?), I couldn't help but notice some DIY references in last week's sitcoms.  First there was Monday's episode of  "Two Broke Girls," in which an exuberant if misguided yarn enthusiast is bent on beatifying Brooklyn one crocheted fire hydrant cozy at a time.  Then Tuesday had "New Girl's" Jess admitting, "I craft so hard!" upon learning that her crush boasts a yarn collection (yes, yarn again!) rivaling her own.  On Wednesday, "The Middle's" Brick brought a date to Thanksgiving dinner clad in a turkey-print dress that most definitely did not come from a factory.  And finally, on Thursday, "The Big Bang Theory" featured Sheldon shutting down his beloved Fun with Flags podcast series only to resurrect it after reading the comment of a viewer who "kind of liked it."  Although a podcast isn't exactly decoupage (not to mention that Shelly would shudder at the thought of getting Mod Podge on his fingers), the creative, off-kilter element of the flag fiesta is of the same sentiment.

And that's that.  As Turkey Day draws near, may your sweet potatoes be marshmallow studded and your cranberry sauce can-shaped instead of lumpy.  After the bird has been butchered, I'll be carving out some time to string my gumballs.   I can only hope that my apple crisp turns out half as tasty.

Springing Back into Summer and Falling for Fall TV

 Great White Necklace

Tunic: Miken, Marshalls

Tee: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Olsenboye, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Uniquely Different, Etsy

Belt: JCPenney

Scarf: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 Mister Mustache Necklace

Tunic: Miken, Marshalls

Bra top: Boscov's

Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Nordstrom

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: JCPenney

 Fruits and Flowers Necklace

Tunic: Miken, Marshalls

Tee: So, Kohl's

Skirt (a dress!): Monteau, Marshalls

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Nine West, Boscov's

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

The first summery thing about this post is the two scenic pictures.  They're both of the north end of Brigantine, and I took them during a recent bicycle ride with the husband.  As you know, I normally refrain from outdoorsy activities.  But I was glad that I came along this time, as I'd never been to this part of the island in the six plus years I've lived here.  It's beautiful, kind of wild and hidden and marshy.  I can see why people like it, despite it bearing the brunt of most hurricanes' wrath.

The second summery thing about this post is the hot pink lace cover-up.  I know; I too was surprised to find that that's what it was when I found it at Marshalls some three years ago.  Somehow, it seems too fancy to toss over a bikini.  That's probably one of the reasons why I've never worn it.  But I wanted to change that, or at least do the next best thing by having Tammy (the Torso, that is, for those of you scratching your heads) wear it.  So I challenged myself to use it in three outfits.  The middle one is my favorite, even if it does kind of scream fashion don't at the VMAs.  

And now on to the good part, which is to say, the TV.  I don't know about you, but once Labor Day hits, I'm as excited about fall premier week as a cat in a yarn store.  There's nothing to beat fall's sneaky chill like the cozy glow that is the TV screen.  I like to think of it as the modern-day fireplace.  Or maybe I should say campfire, as that's the one with the stories.  Anyway, there's a lot of programming to choose from, so I'll just give (admittedly specious) shout-outs to the lineups I follow.  I'm something of a line-up lemming, tolerating shows that I'd otherwise skip simply because they're surrounded by some of my favorites.  Still, at the end of the day (or should I say week?) I end up enjoying them all on some level, taking the same even-when-it's-bad-it's-good approach to sitcoms that people take to pizza.  Hey, whether it's entertainment or eats, the more cheese the better.    

That having been said, Fox came out of the gate running the second week in September with the ever edgy "New Girl" and "The Mindy Project."  Family-friendly ABC reclaimed its Wednesday night reign, regaling us with old favorites like "The Middle" and "Modern Family," now bookending sophomore sitcom "The Goldbergs" and wrapping up with the brand-new "Blackish," all contriving to create a downy cushion for the last-act drama of "Nashville"(which is not a sitcom, but pretty soft as dramas go, making it a-okay in my [song] book.)  Then the following Tuesday ABC introduced "Selfie" and "Manhattan Love Story," serving up stories for singles.  In the CBS camp, "The Big Bang Theory" found its way once again back to Mondays, at least until late October when it joins two of Chuck Lorre's other offspring, "Two and a Half Men" and "Mom" ("Mike and Molly" will return mid-season).  But it's NBC that remains the most barren, with the final season of "Parks and Recreation" yet to debut while newbies "Bad Judge" and "A to Z" play out as sweetly acerbic appetizers.      

Whew, that was more than a mouthful.  Which means that there's just enough room to cram in some eating (cheddar choked or whole grain healthy?  I'll never tell) before tonight's two-hour sitcom block begins.

The Long and Short of it Is . . .

 Beautiful Blue Lady Necklace

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Cardigan: Merona, Target

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

 Punky Plumage Necklace

Tee: Delia's

Camisole: Worthington, JCPenney

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: Delia's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Payless

 Mysterious Mask Necklace

Sweater: Candie's, Kohl's

Tank: So, Kohl's

Jeans: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Guess, Marshalls

 Rainbow Fish Necklace

Top: Kohl's

Skirt: JCPenney

Scarf: Marshalls

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Shoes: Betseyville, JCPenney

Cool Colors Necklace

Top: Jessica Simpson, Boscov's

Tank: So, Kohl's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Boots: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Gifted

Coat: Worthington, JCPenney

. . . that fashion is fickle and sitcoms are super.  Allow me to explain.

In a not-so-recent episode of "New Girl," Nick mocks Jess's vintage handbag collection by saying (something like), "Mini skirts and rhinestone purses, that's what men want," before tossing said purse collection out the apartment window.  (For those of you thinking, "What the hey is she yapping about?", "New Girl" is a sitcom starring Zooey Deschanel as Jess, a wide-eyed, quirky teacher.  Nick is her curmudgeonly bartender boyfriend.)  "Hey, that's what I wear!" I couldn't help saying.  But the husband just shook his head and said, "No, not in the way he means."  I had to admit that he had a point.  Glitzy or not, my get-ups are more like Jess's not-quite-right purse collection than Nick's dream woman's wardrobe, in spirit if not exact style.  (Case in point: I'd never wear the rhinestone-encrusted mini featured in outfit number two without a pair of leggings).

It's no wonder that I'm always finding kernels of wisdom in sitcoms.  I love those thirty-minute comic morsels.  Whenever I'm having a bad day, I think about how what I'm going through would translate in sitcom-land.  More often than not, my trials seem instantly less cringe-worthy compared to those of the characters, lacking even enough drama to sustain a B plot.  Which is comforting.  At least until I start worrying that this may mean my life is boring.  

That's the sitcom part.  Now I'll backtrack to the fashion part, which is really just (surprise!) a blurb about my new necklaces.  

Lately I've been keeping things simple by working with just beads and pendants.  Last week it occurred to me that I rarely make long necklaces, which is weird, because I love wearing them, especially in layers.  So, I set out to string a few more inches, the result of which is evident in the elongated Beautiful Blue Lady and Mysterious Mask styles.  By contrast, the Punky Plumage and Rainbow Fish remain as abbreviated as ever, with the Cool Colors dangling somewhere in between.  Not bad progress-wise, with the eternal room for improvement flame still ablaze. 

Something New and Sparkly: Suited for Strawberries

Fabulous Felt Strawberry Pair Barrette

Suit: Boscov's

Blouse: Alloy

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Suits are usually no nonsense.  That's kind of what makes them suits.  Whenever I'm presented with such a stern, utilitarian look, I can't help but mess with it, even if just a little.  Apparently I'm not alone in this.  In that now-infamous and much-blogged-about New Girl episode Jess (Zooey Deschanel) faces off with Nick's (Jake Johnson) uptight lawyer girlfriend (Lizzy Caplan) about the boredom of boardroom fashion (and so much more!): "And I hate your pants suit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something just to make it slightly cuter but that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.”  Riveting, no?  This little Fabulous Felt Strawberry Pair Barrette of mine seemed like a smart, sassy way to pin on the pretty.  Take that, briefcase.

Something New and Sparkly: I Rock a Lot of Polka Dots

Top: Bisou Bisou, JCPeneny
Skirt: Xhilaration, Target
Shoes: Alloy
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Ring: JCPenney
Bracelet: Kohl's

If you're a "New Girl" fan (and the ratings report that many of you are), then you may have recognized that line from a recent episode in which Nick's humorless, hardass lawyer girlfriend attacks Jess (Zooey Deschanel) for being girly and sensitive and, yes, all-around adorkable.  (Unthinkable, I know.)  The incident leads to Jess and Cece dishing about the mean, sneaky ways girls tear each other down.  Jess shares that a girl once snidely told her, "You rock a lot of polka dots," eliciting a "Diabolical!" from CeCe.  As someone who wears more than her fair share of polka dots (not to mention scads of what many would deem to be other suspect stuff), I could relate. 

Take this ensemble.  We've got pinky polka dots topped off by a felt necklace that kind of looks like a foot.  At least that's what the bf said when he saw it in its early state. 

I meant for the necklace to be worn horizontally, but the vertical, foot-like position began to grow on me, not unlike a multi-colored fungus.

New TV (Otherwise Known as Fall's Consolation Prize)

Last week marked the beginning of the 2011-2012 TV season, and with it my deliverance from the surfeit of sitcom reruns and played-out movies that buzzed on my TV like so much white noise this summer.  As always, my menu of mainstays, including The Middle, Modern Family, Community, and The Office, was sprinkled with fresh new selections.  Just as when I'm presented with an updated restaurant menu, I couldn't help but wonder which newbies would become the new mac and cheese, i.e., flavorful, fulfilling, and always a treat, and which would suffer the fate of concoctions made unpalatable by too many or too few ingredients.  Here's my take on three of the series debuts I sampled (in reverse chronological order):

Show: Pan Am
Network: ABC
Time: Sunday, 10:00 pm EST

Despite the scuttlebutt that it was just a Mad Men knock-off, I had high hopes for Pan Am (pun intended).  Like lots of people, I like a good period piece.  Stories set in iconic eras can't help but be shrouded in romance, and the admittedly fluffy ABC capitalizes on this phenomenon in its drama showcasing stewardesses of the early 1960s.  To be honest, it was slow going at first.  The plot centers around four women -- each a trailblazer of sorts -- which means that there was a bit of back-story to relay.  Even so, Pan Am has all the hallmarks of a best-selling saga and will probably become more engrossing as the season unfolds.

Show: Whitney
Network: NBC
Time: Thursday, 9:30 pm EST

NBC is known for sitcoms that probe beneath life's underbelly.  Whitney, starring comedian Whitney Cummings, fits right in as the story of a cohabiting, thirty-something couple contemplating marriage.  Albeit gentler than the other social commentary-spouting shows in NBC's Thursday night lineup (Community, Parks and Recreation, and The Office), Whitney delivers some trenchant one-liners about love and relationships.  Unfortunately, most of them were in the commercials, which somewhat diluted their appeal.  Nevertheless, pilots are often iffy, so I remain optimistic.

Show: New Girl

Network: FOX

Time: Tuesday, 9:00 pm EST

New Girl is just the sort of off-beat show you'd expect to see on the network that brought us The Simpsons.  Starring queen of quirk Zooey Deschanel, it centers around Jess, a newly single teacher who finds herself living with three guys she met on Craigslist.  Fashion-challenged and in the habit of bursting into song, Jess catapults over Deschanel's resident territory of the unusual headlong into the land of just plain odd.  Indeed, her actions are often cringeworthy, particularly when she's hurling herself at prospective suitors.  Still, her eccentricities are born of a genuineness that render her as endearing and vulnerable.

* * * *

Criticisms aside, I'll continue watching all of these shows.  Sweet, salty, or tangy, stories are my favorite snack.