Out of My Depp: A is for Anchorwoman

Top: Candie's, Kohl's; Skirt (a dress!): Macy's; Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys; Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Fuchsia belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Peach belt: Izod, Marshalls; Blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Lime bangle: B Fabulous; Coral bangle: Silver Linings, Ocean City; Striped bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Anchors emblazon everything from cardigans to pillows to flesh (I'm talking tattoos).  But just what is it about these nautical notions that charm us into desecrating our homes and decorating our bodies?  Their promise of a glam getaway and/or safe harbor?  Their association with a simpler, more romantic time?  Or is our love for them nothing more than the product of our preoccupation with Popeye?  (All waterways, it seems, lead back to tattoos.)  In the end, all that matters is that anchors are aces.  And that I had a whale of a time incorporating them into this Bright This Ship Necklace:  

Bright This Ship Necklace

Because when you go bright, you never go wrong.  Unless, of course, your craft is so colorful that it attracts a posse of pirates who commandeer it for their rutabaga smuggling ring (when it comes to contraband, root vegetables are funnier than rum.)  If that doesn't say piece-of-Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-footage-on-the-cutting-room-floor, then I don't know what does.

Unless it's Johnny Depp dressed as a rutabaga and belting out a ribald riddle.       

By the way, I hear that Mr. Depp's bankrupt.  For enough clams, I bet he'd be down.  

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Stilettos are Sweet, but Gerry is Too

Dress: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

If I Dreamed a Desert Barrette Brooch

Dress: ELLE, Kohl's

Yummy Gummy Bears Necklace

Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW

Sweater: Nine West, Kohl's

Bag: Nahui Ollin

? Parrot Necklace

Blouse: Macy's

Fabulous Felt Yellow Folk Flowers Barrette

Bag: Marshalls; Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Not too long ago, I was crafting and rewatching P.S. I Love you when I caught this quote:

"Just create something . . . new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it . . . and you know a little more about . . . you.  A little more than anyone else does.  Does that make any sense at all?"

This is what Holly (Hilary Swank) says when she meets Gerry (Gerard Butler) and explains her need to be creative.  And yes, it makes total sense!  There's something about seeing the thing that was once in your head become real -- and knowing that others can see it too -- that makes you feel human.  Then again, Holly doesn't put her imagination where her instep is and design shoes until Gerry kicks the bucket.  But you know what they say.  The course to true love never runs smooth.

It should go without saying that the part about creativity speaks to me.  So I'm showing you me wearing colorful stuff, some of which I made, like I do.  And -- because I like you so much -- I'm throwing in some knickknacks, too.  Like the clothes, they make me happy to count myself among the kind of people who surround themselves with whimsy.

Bottles: A.C. Moore

Kaleidoscope: Kohl's

Gerry/Gerard, if you're out there, then forget what I said earlier.  Dead or alive, you're always the dream, even when up against footwear.  Because when you met Holly, you thought, "I never saw so many colors on the same girl" and then promptly set out to pursue her.  And that, dude, deserves devotion.  

Even though, years later, you yelled at her for buying too much Marc Jacobs on eBay.

Ladies in Waiting: 27 Tresses

Yep, they're multiplying!  There are 27 of them this week, and they're waiting for something already -- and it's not James Marsden as Prince Charming in journalist's clothing.  No, they're waiting for eyes -- or, more accurately, sunglasses, which I chose on account of them being more mysterious than poorly cut pupils (for even I have my limits with felt).

Subconsciously, I think that my faces may have been inspired by Iris.  Ah, yes, Iris Apfel, that marvelously mod nonagenarian lighting up INC ads beneath the sassily scrawled, "How many 95-year-old cover girls do you know?"at your nearest Macy's.  Tiny and birdlike, she rocks bold patterns and piles of costume jewelry that only serve to enhance her frail frame.  Best of all, her Macy's merch is distinguished by a tag in her cartoon likeness, her signature glasses, red lips, and huge gumball necklace ratcheting up her 1960s appeal.  Needless to say, I was over the moon when I found this cream and maroon hinge-style bangle, which originally retailed for $34.50, on the $7.99 table at Macy's One Day Sale.  I promptly marched it to the register, where I cashed in my Plenti points to bring the total down to a mere $5.15.  The only fly in the ointment of my afternoon was when the sales clerk stuck one of those infernal return stickers on Iris's forehead!  I'd been even more excited about the tag than the bracelet and was planning to make a pendant out of it.  Thankfully, the husband applied a bit of Goo Gone (or some equivalent), restoring Iris to her gorgeous glory.  Stay tuned for her Tote Trove debut!

Anyway, to compensate for my blind-as-a-bat hatted beauties, I made a quick bit of something that can see . . . well, as far as the eye.

 Hello Dolly Necklace

Top: Macy's

Skirt: Hollister, Marshalls

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Old Navy

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: JCPenney

The smiling little wooden beads in this Hello Dolly Necklace are actually doll heads, the type, I imagine, that crafters of another kind use to anchor Christmas ornaments and crocheted dresses.  Still, to me they're no frills and folksy, speaking of simpler times, of prize box treasures and humanized corn husks (or rather, cornhusk dolls, which don't sound as wonderfully weird -- or alliterative).  They don't even need makeup (makeup in the craft world being glue), unlike my highfalutin, high maintenance divas impatiently awaiting their custom eyewear.

Nevertheless, Hello Dolly does require a little attention.  For example, before wearing, it's important to turn her heads just so so that her smiles face forward.  Otherwise, she'll turn on you, keeping watch through the eyes in the backs of her heads.

That got creepy fast.  Quick, cue the Jack Johnson.

Ahoy! Ship Shapes Sail into Summer

 Fabulous Felt Yellow Anchor Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: DKNY, Macy's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

 Fabulous Felt Black Anchor Necklace

Tee: Merona. Target

Skirt: H&M

Cardigan: Modcloth

Shoes: Nine West, DSW

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Belt: Marshalls

Fabulous Felt Beach Day Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Cardigan: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City 

Or maybe I should say "out of summer."  Every year, without fail, I'm surprised by the supernova that is August.  The season seems to culminate in this third, fireball of a month -- the temperature is at its highest (despite the slightly darker days), and most people wait until then to go on vacation.  Then poof!  It's time for backpacks and pumpkin spice everything. (My Spidey senses tell me that I've used this bit about pumpkins in past anti-fall rants, but then what's a post about seasonal repetition without some recycled wordplay?).  It's as if people know that they have to squeeze out the last drop, and as part of those "people," I'm no different.  Except that I'm scrambling to post the rest of my warm weather favorites and backlog of fun-in-the-sun pictures instead of getting in that last round of beach time.  I'm none too optimistic that I'll have trotted them all out by Labor Day, so watch this spot for ice cream and mermaids well into October.  Nobody likes fall anyway, right?

So that's what's up with this beach scene and anchors, all three of which have been treading water in the kiddie pool of my imagination since April.  I was tempted to call at least one of the anchors the Nautical Nonsense Necklace but decided not to for fear of angering the SpongeBob people.  "Boat stuff," though, as I like to think of it, has always been pretty eye-catching.  My favorite type of boat used to be the sailboat on account of its bright, festive, well, sail.  I was so taken with sailboats that I thought I might like to climb aboard one one day.  Then I found out that they're among the most dangerous of the watercraft, what with being whipped about the sea willy-nilly due to that deceptively carefree, nothing-but-a-good-time sail.  

Somehow, I don't think that's what Poison (or the SpongeBob people) had in mind.

Dots and (Hair) Dos

 Food Fun Necklace

Sweatshirt: Kohl's

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

 Jewel Jubilee Necklace

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Bag: Nine West

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City

Red Ring Necklace

Top: Marshalls

Pants: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Marshalls

Scarf: Boscov's

One thing that separates the women from the girls is hairdos.  No doubt about it, big hair commands respect.  We need only look to anchorwomen, 1980s-era high school A-listers, pageant queens, and the mom on "The Goldbergs" to witness the bouffant's big shot appeal.  Well, maybe "respect"isn't the word that most would ascribe to these mega-maned mavens.  Nevertheless, high hair shows that you're serious.  Not Supreme Court Justice serious, no, but serious about something.  After all, if you've put in the time and effort to set, tease, and lacquer your strands into helmet hair, then you're not someone with whom to be trifled.  Interestingly enough, I've worn my hair in the same unlayered, product-free, nearly waist-length style for the last decade.  Sure, there was a time when I did the whole round brush, hair dryer, trim every six weeks routine.  But the tyranny of it all, coupled with the potential queen bee pressures that come with such polish, proved to be too demanding.    

Doing Huey Lewis, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Squares the World Over Proud: Also, Will Blog For Clothes

Fabulous Felt Pastel Hip to Be Square Necklace

Tee: Kohl's

Skirt: H&M

Flip flops: So, Kohl's

Bag: DSW

 Fabulous Felt Primary Palette Necklace

Tee: So, Kohl's

Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney

Shoes: MetroStyle

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Belt: Wet Seal

 Fabulous Felt Bright Hip to be Square Necklace

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: Not Rated, DSW

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Scarf: Boscov's

 Fiery Fringe Necklace

Top: Wet Seal

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Journeys

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Claire's

As Luck Would Have It Choker

Top: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Skirt: Ellen Tracy, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betseyville, Marshalls

Fancy Feathers Barrette

Dress: Kohl's

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Necklace: Candie's, Kohl's

For years I've been jokingly inviting my favorite stores to send me a little token in return for the shout-outs I make in my posts.  This week someone answered that call, and that someone was Kohl's (take that, JCPenney!).  One of their marketing reps found this itty bitty blog on the great big web and offered me a 10% off coupon just for having linked a couple of current Kohl's items in last week's post.  What's more, she encouraged me to pass the savings on to you.  The 10% off is good for online purchases through 7/11/13 and can be used in conjunction with one other department-specific coupon code.  Just enter BLOGGER10 in the coupon box at checkout.  I'll be using mine next week in combination with my considerable stash of Kohl's cash to score a deeply discounted LC Lauren Conrad dress.  I must confess, I already have not one but two Kohl's shipments on the way, one of which includes two garment bags to house my honeymoon-bound dresses.  (On the subject of wedding wear, when I stumbled upon the above sequin tube dress on kohls.com, I knew it was just the firecracker of a frock for my bachelorette party.)  I never thought I'd be the kind of person who owned a garment bag, but there you have it.  My, how I'm growing up.