Having a Ball: The Media Circus, Most Macabre of All

Shoes: Impo, DSW

Bag: Current Mood, Dolls Kill

Skirt: Macy's

Fabulous Felt Balloons Barrette

Top: Kingston Grey, Macy's

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Bag: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Circus Clown Barrette Brooch

Bow barrette: Carole, JCPenney; Rainbow necklace: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Ring: Wet Seal; Red Necklace: Wet Seal; Bangles: B Fabulous

Dress: Zulily

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Sunglasses: FantasEyes, JCPenney

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, then you know that I have a love-hate relationship with the circus that I can't stop talking about.  On the love side, there's color, lights, and the tutus of the tightrope walkers.  On the hate side, there's refuse, sad animals, and the mangy mane of the one-armed juggler.  Ball pits represent a sliver of that, what with their riveting rainbow of camouflaged pee (never mind that you're more likely to find a ball pit in a Chuck E. Cheese than under the big top; Chuck E. Cheese is a circus unto itself).  So I was excited to bust out these gumball-like globes (I've had them since Easter) to stage my new Circus Clown Barrette Brooch.  Because they bring the fun of the pit minus the pitfalls.    

Of course, these days, the scariest circus isn't the one stunk up by urine or even a two-headed clown, but the one with media in front of it.  And a media circus spins all its plates and then some in the dark comedy Breaking News in Yuba County.  It boasts an all-star cast including Allison Janney, Mila Kunis, Regina Hall, Wanda Sykes, Awkwafina, Ellen Barkin, and Juliette Lewis as well as, like any entertainment worth its salted peanuts, an array of wild wigs.  Janney leads as Sue Buttons, a mousy call center drone who's addicted to sensational news stories and chants affirmations at the grocery store (I am enough!).  Which sounds kooky, but sticking her head into the sands of self-help and pseudo-journalism makes more sense once we learn that her husband's a jerk who forgot her birthday.  It turns out that she's at the grocery store to pick up her own cake, which is misspelled.  Spoiler alert: the bakery clerk won't fix it.  Just when Sue thinks that things can't possibly get any worse, she follows her husband to a motel and catches him cheating.  He drops dead, and Sue seizes the opportunity to snag the recognition she craves by reporting him, not dead, but missing.  Soon she's the star of the biggest missing persons case on the news, much to the delight of her equally fame-hungry reporter sister (Mila Kunis).  But the stunt sets off a chain of violent events that reveal that hubby was hiding more than a mistress.

Always a fan of humor with edge, I enjoyed this movie despite its sometimes gratuitous gore.  Because for all its sensationalism, Breaking News in Yuba County delivers a message not so different from that of the sadly canceled (sniff sniff) Good Girls: Be nice to women or else. 

Thankfully, the weirdest thing to happen at my circus is a disembodied clown head bobbing up over the big top.  Because -- surprise! -- it's not a head at all, but a balloon.

Or is it?  I guess that's for its future owner to say.  

Talk about buyer beware.   

Evergreen Screen, Tinseltown Tannenbaum

Me and 3G have decided to give picture-less posting another try.  Now, usually I use my photos-slash-projects as the basis of my hook.  You know, that thread that, however tenuously, ties all my nonsense together.  So this time -- heads up -- I'm using the pictures in my mind.

Let us consider the Christmas tree.  It's but a pleat in Mother Nature's dark green gown, a relic of the outdoors that we bring indoors and domesticate with acres of lights and ornaments, some store-bought, some handmade, some elegant, some primitive, all of them converging in a joyful jumble that should look ridiculous but doesn't.  Yet even all dressed up, sometimes the Christmas tree misbehaves.  Sometimes it falls, narrowly missing Grandpa as he sleeps off his eggnog; other times it hatches insects and reptiles, reminding us that it's still wild and unpredictable despite our efforts to make it conform to our carefully curated winter wonderlands.  But that's okay.  Because at the end of the (holi)day, it's the crazy that makes it Christmas.

Which is pretty much the message of every Christmas movie ever, including the two I just saw: Daddy's Home 2 and A Bad Moms Christmas.  (See what I did there?  Hook, line, and stinker.) Boys will be boys and girls just want to have fun in these festive family free-for-alls.  No sophomore slumps for these sequels; both assault and then rescue Christmas with all the hijinks and heart we've come to expect from holiday features.  Daddy's Home 2 revisits the blended family blues, this time with a marshmallow of a John Lithgow and a hard-ass Mel Gibson joining Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg to stir the Bailey's-spiked hot chocolate pot.  And in A Bad Moms Christmas, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn take a break from being bad moms to deal with having bad moms, namely the trying trio of Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, and Susan Sarandon.  Through criticism, smothering, and good old-fashioned neglect, these mamas serve up fare far worse than fruitcake.  Guess Will Smith was right: parents just don't understand.  Well, at least not until they see the light -- on top of the Christmas tree.  Yep, the very same one harboring larvae and snakes, although no such snafu took place in either movie (but, hey, maybe should have).

You know, the last time I blogged about Daddy's Home, I compared it to Sisters.  And I said (something like) "I liked Daddy's Home better, but Sisters taught me more."  Well, this time I didn't learn anything, and I preferred Bad Moms. Which shows, I think, a modicum of personal growth (because it takes guts to admit that knowledge isn't always power), something our friend the Christmas tree knows lots about.

Oh, Tannenbaum, can't wait to light your candle.

Ruffle Kerfuffle: Of Monsters and Zen, What a Mother

 Red and Yellow Roses Necklace

Top: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

 A Tribe Called Zest Necklace

Top: Maison Jules, Macy's

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Creamsicle Circle Necklace

Top: So, Kohl's

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Nine West, Marshalls

Sunglasses: Brigantine beach shop

Rainbow Pearl Necklace

Blouse: American Rag, Macy's

Tank: Macy's

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Modcloth

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Every outfit in this post features a swallow-print, ruffle-tiered mini I got from Target, that one-stop trend candy shop.  Part festival, part fairy tale, this skirt is the kind of sassy yet muted not-so-basic staple that Snow White might've worn if the seven dwarfs had ever carted her off to Coachella (now, there was a damsel who could rock crazy colors).

Speaking of which, it's time to talk about some ladies who put the rough and tumble in ruffle, namely the casts of two of summer's biggest blockbusters: Ghostbusters and Bad Moms.  Fun and frothy with a topping of let's-take-on-the-world, both center around fantasies, some supernatural, some suburban.  Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones do battle with poltergeists in New York City while Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn take on the PTA outside of Chicago (the latter is, in my opinion, the more formidable of the two villains; when faced with a bitch or a beast I'll take my chances with Slimer), putting it all on the line in the name of justice, whether it be for the safety of humankind, some much-deserved me-time, or a heady elixir of the two.  Sure, on the surface, these women couldn't be more different.  Ghostbuster McKinnon zings zany one-liners as she builds whoa-Nelly weapons; bad mom Bell daydreams about getting into a (minor) car accident so she can spend a week in the hospital eating Jell-O.  World-class physicist Wiig gets tongue-tied at the mere sight of delicious but dumber-than-dirt secretary Chris Hemsworth; come-hither Hahn flashes married dads in the school drop-off zone.  But at the end of the day, they're all women fighting adversity, whether in the form of phantoms or frenemies.  As such, both casts shine with brave yet vulnerable, laugh-a-minute comediennes.  Ghostbusters was funnier, but I enjoyed the plot of Bad Moms more.  Maybe that's because Bad Moms is a little like Mean Girls: Mommy Edition.  The cliques are the same; just the ages have changed.  And there's not a woman alive who doesn't appreciate a good comic commentary on (as Tina Fey so eloquently put it in Mean Girls) the age-old theme of girl-on-girl crime.  In Moms, the pressure doesn't come from the need to be popular, but the need to be perfect, which is, when you think about it, merely popularity all grown up.  

In Bad Moms, Amy Mitchell (Kunis) is the poster child for mother martyrdom.  Put-upon and stretched-to-the-limit, this marketing maven is an always under-it everywoman who bears the added burdens of dealing with an incompetent fetus of a boss (Clark Duke) and an overgrown frat boy of a husband (David Walton).  So, when Amy ambles into a PTA meeting, late as always, fresh from a horribly hellish day, and resident queen bee and PTA president Gwendolyn (Christina Applegate) shames her into bake sale police duty (no sugar, no oil, no dairy!), Amy tells her to forget it, makes a grand exit, and plops down on a bar stool at the nearest dive to drown her proverbial sorrows.  There she meets perennially-on-the-prowl single mom (and, may I add, dressed-to-kill) Carla (Hahn) and eager-to-please mother of four Kiki (Bell).  The liquor flows, the ladies vent, and before you can shout "Tequila!", the trio is wreaking havoc at a grocery store, Fruit Loops and inhibitions flying.  What follows is a wicked spin on sugar and spice and everything nice as the fast friends turn the stereotype of the perfect mom on its head, blowing off cooking and cleaning to day drink and cruise guys.  But when Gwendolyn gets Amy's daughter kicked off the soccer team, what began as a game turns into a full-fledged revolt against the powers that be.  Amy launches a campaign to run for PTA president in a brush with the dark side that is faintly reminiscent of Cady Herring's (Lindsey Lohan's) in Mean Girls.  Yet although Amy tries on a new persona and even sometimes stumbles, unlike the callow Cady, she never loses sight of who she is.     

Bad Moms is a sweet satire sprinkled with the surprises that make movies sparkle.  SPOILER ALERT: if you read any further, then this one will be a surprise no longer.  (I'm talking to you, party scene headlined by paragon of perfection Martha Stewart offering up Jell-O shots.)  Although lighthearted, Bad Moms touches upon the complexities of female relationships, intertwined with that old chestnut of a theme: freedom vs. duty.  That having been said, once the chaos has run its course, peace predictably descends upon suburban Chicago, more than restoring the status quo as each mom, mean ones included, embraces a more warts-and-all way of life.  Peace, after all, is the goal of most stories (and, indeed, of that great story life), dressed in the finery of happy endings.  

Yep, peace is pretty important.  As Gavin Rossdale once sang, "everything's zen."  Of course, he followed that up with an angry "I don't think so," and now his ex is doing a duet with Blake Shelton.  

So maybe he needs to try yoga.         

On the Sanctity of Fruit: From Farm to Fable

 Strawberry Stand Brooch

Top: Delia's

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: H&M

Belt: Izod, Marshalls

Sunglasses: J. C. Penney's

 Simply Strawberry Brooch

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: Dolce by Mojo Moxy, DSW

Bag: Katie & Kelly, DSW

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

 Simply Citrus Brooch

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Modcloth

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: J. C. Penney's

 Mandarin Market Brooch

Top: So, Kohl's

Skirt: ELLE, Kohl's

Shoes: Qupid, Alloy

Bag: Call it Spring, J. C. Penney's

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Cloud Nine, Ocean City boardwalk

I've always loved fruit.  The kind you can eat is delicious and nutritious, and the kind you can't brightens up a dull day.  The latter has two basic style personas: realistic and cartoonish.  Realistic fruit looks like the stuff at your local farm stand; cartoonish fruit looks like it's about to get up and dance.  But they're both appealing (and I don't just mean the bananas), forming a tapestry rich in lifelike and surreal motifs.  Also, antioxidants.

So you can imagine how perturbed I was to find that certain cereal bars and cookies (which shall remain nameless, lest I receive crates of rotting fruit from the snack company bigwigs), have been passing off cranberries as strawberries.  It's a clever if exasperating ruse, and for a while it works.  That is, until you're chomping on one of these carb clusters and think, "Hey, I know that's a strawberry on the box, but this wrinkled red thing kind of looks like a cranberry.  And it kind of tastes like a cranberry too!"  So you read the ingredients on the side of the box and confirm your suspicions; there are no strawberries in this thing at all!  Why would they do that?  Because nobody likes cranberries, despite Thanksgiving's campaign to convince us otherwise.

That's why this week's pieces pay homage to that master of masqueraders: extract.  Flavorings frank about their fakeness, these enticing elixirs keep things real by having the integrity to pretend to be the fruits displayed with such lifelike detail on their iconic McCormick boxes.  Naturally, this makes me think of the always wry, sometimes ribald comedy Extract, specifically that part toward the end in which Jason Bateman's Joel explains why he loves running a small extract factory.  Even after all the trouble caused by his affair-that-wasn't with line worker Cindy (Mila Kunis), he gets sentimental about the vanilla, almond, and root beer flavors that his plant churns out year after year.  Why?  Because they make people happy.  In other words, it's the seemingly small, extraneous things in life that give it its sweetness and -- ahem -- flavor.  That's why Joel did what he did, and that's why I do what I do, too.  It's probably also why the bogus cereal bar and cookie people pull their strawberry scam.

Next week I'll attempt to apply the same logic to Fruit Loops.

Movie Moment: Ted

There isn't a whole lot I can say about Ted that hasn't been said already.  It's a story about a kid, John, (Mark Wahlberg) who makes a wish that his Christmas gift of a teddy bear comes to life.  The wish comes true, John and Ted become "thunder buddies for life," and John slides somewhat unconsciously into adulthood with his pot-smoking bud by his side.  All is well until John's career-conscious yet surprisingly down-to-earth girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) suggests that Ted is preventing them from moving on with their lives.  Masterminded by the man (Seth MacFarlane) who brought us "Family Guy," Ted was an instant box office success, and therefore a testament to America's love affair with fart jokes.

So, is there more to Ted than bathroom humor and the saccharine schmaltz that is raunchiness's good cop twin?  Or is the movie's message more menacing than it seems, hinting at themes of Peter Pan syndrome and the perennial plight of the long-suffering girlfriend?  If so inclined, I could play either side.  But such musings have no place on a blog like this, and anyway, they're kind of a downer.  It's far more fun to focus on the appearances from Ryan Reynolds, Tom Skerritt, Sam Jones (Flash Gordon), and the always dryly amusing Patrick Warburton; the wild wardrobe of Ted's trashy girlfriend (which I vastly preferred to the more sophisticated style of Lori); and the eternal battle between the diamond-in-the-rough guy and the slick-but-smarmy guy (played by Joel McHale, who is always that guy) because we all want to root for the diamonds (even those of us who are duds).  But my favorite part?  Hands down, it was getting carded while buying the tickets :)        

Movie Moment: Friends With Benefits

Like many moviegoers, when I heard about the romantic comedy Friends with Benefits, I thought, hey, didn't Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher already make that movie?

Well, sort of.

Like No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits stars a tough cookie heroine (Mila Kunis) with a guarded gooey center. Yet Kunis's Jamie is edgier and more vulnerable than Portman's Emma, making for a more compelling and likable character. Likewise, Justin Timberlake's Dylan trumps Kutcher's Adam. Whereas Adam is eager to be Emma's prince charming from the get-go, Dylan doesn't really know what he wants, which makes him more believable. Although he's a little steamrolled by the more dominant Jamie, he's a worthy opponent, chipping away at her crusty shell until they both end up on equal footing. But what truly makes Friends with Benefits the better movie is that it's really about two friends instead of two near-strangers who just happened to have sex. Kunis and Timberlake have an easy chemistry that cuts through the dating game motions they so cynically mock. Indeed, they first hook up after rolling their eyes at a sappy romance starring Jason Segal and Rashida Jones (which, by the way, was funny to watch given Segal's and Jones's animosity toward each other in I Love You Man). It gives you that whole what-if-two-friends-watching-movies-on-the-couch-just-went-for-it? element that was missing in No Strings Attached.

Stuff to watch for: 1) a cameo by Shaun White as himself and 2) Richard Jenkins as Timberlake's father with Alzheimer's. I know, I know, what's something so serious doing in a romantic comedy? But it works.

Friends with Benefits is fun and, dare I say, poignant without being cheesy. At the end, I left the theater happy.