Celebrity Date Nut Cred: Giving Love a Swirl (or Swirly)

From left to right: Self Esteem, Macy's; Delia's, Dolls Kill

When I first saw the commercials for The Celebrity Dating Game hosted by Zooey Deschanel and Michael Bolton, I was like, what?!  I couldn't remember a duo that bizarre since that Martha Stewart and Snoop Dog ad for Tostitos.  Which is to say, I had to watch it.  

The show, which airs on Mondays on ABC, is a reboot (yes, another one!) of The Dating Game, which first aired in 1965.  As a nod to that peace and love era, the set is adorned with big, groovy purple flower décor (just as this very post is decked out with swirly sweet tie dye tees).  And in the tradition of 1983's Love Connection, 1995's Singled Out, and, yes, the original The Dating Game, its "plot" centers around one lonesome lad or lady grilling three randos in an attempt to find love.  Only in this case, the on-the-prowl soul is a secret celebrity hidden from the hopefuls.  The celebrity asks the competitors a series of questions, ostensibly to determine their compatibility but really to entertain us, and the answers are as ridiculous as you'd expect.  For example, when comedian Nicole Byer asked one particularly dubious dude to describe love, he said that it was "like taking a dump."  So, it's all pretty cringeworthy.  But not bad background TV to craft to.  Indeed, one contestant's dream date for former bachelorette Hannah Brown (this is, after all, ABC), was none other than crafting, a suggestion that inspired Deschanel to pipe up, "I love crafting!"

Speaking of Deschanel, I can only surmise that the indie darling is hosting this show ironically.  But I've seen enough celebs-turned-game-show-hosts on late night (Deschanel just lack week on Kimmel included), to know that she's contract-bound to never admit it.  Yet gimmicky gig or not, I always dig Deschanel's performances -- and wardrobe.  For The Celebrity Dating Game premier, she wore an adorable ruffly red and white dress that made her look like a valentine.  

As for Bolton, I think he's laughing on the inside too.  He'd have to be, as his job is to sing a parody of a famous love song filled with clues about the celebrity's identity.  Like most of us, I can't think of Bolton without remembering his Fabio locks or that Office Space line where one of the Bobs (John C. McGinley) asks office drone Michael Bolton (David Herman) what his favorite Bolton song is and he, despite his hatred of the crooner, squeaks out, "All of them."

Anyway, each episode of The Celebrity Dating Game ends with the celebrity selecting a suitor (or suitress?) and hugging him or her awkwardly.  Deschanel and company blow the signature Dating Game kisses out into the ether, and then . . . that's it.  No one goes on a date.  Which, although anticlimactic, is probably for the best, especially considering the aforementioned bathroom humor hijinks.

And now for this Electric Elephant Rampage Necklace, which has nothing to do with The Celebrity Dating Game except that I'm "rebooting," or rather, posting a new pic of it on Etsy: 

Eclectic Elephant Rampage Necklace

So come Monday, will I tune in to the next installment of The Celebrity Dating Game?  As they say, all's fair in love and ratings wars.  

And as I say, as long as there are accessories to be made, I'll give it -- if not a swirly -- a whirl.

Cherries and Berries and Mushrooms: A Walk in the Woods With a Fungi

 Fabulous Felt Cheery Cherries Brooch

Fabulous Felt Magic Mushroom Brooch 

Fabulous Felt Sweet Strawberry Brooch

Top: Candie's, Kohl's
Skirt: H&M
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Or perhaps I should say "fun girl."  Because when I see these brooches, I think mushrooms, and when I think mushrooms, I think woods.  And when I think woods, I think The Lady Who Lives in the Woods (also, Smurfs, but this is not about them).  The Lady Who Lives in the Woods is Ruth, a recurring character on truTV's At Home with Amy Sedaris.  Remember Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People?  Well, this is the live action version, complete with guest stars (Stephen Colbert!  Justin Theroux!  Chris Elliot!  Did I mention Steven Colbert?).  To be accurate, the show is more like a dysfunctional marriage between Simple Times and I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, but being a borderline hermit uninterested in entertaining, I never read that one.  Anyway, The-Lady-Who-Lives-in-the-Woods Ruth is a seemingly laidback yet controlling naturalist who lives in a lodge and is always picking passive aggressive fights with her long-suffering, mime-like, live-in girlfriend.  Distinguished by her long, red Earth Mother hair and loden green poncho, Ruth says things like, "Moss -- that's nice" in a soothing yet grating voice that's a cross between Martha Stewart and half of the duo from SNL's "Delicious Dish." (Both of which, fun fact, were played by Ana Gasteyer.  So maybe I'm just saying that Ruth sounds like Ana, in which case, Ana, you're welcome.)  But that's Red -- I mean, Ruth -- for you, bursting the bubble of the myth that the forest is peaceful.  Which is just one of the reasons, I suppose, that she seeks solace in her pet bird, Artemis.  

Anyway, I think Amy would like the brooches.  Because they're weird and retro and could have easily been made by a tree-dwelling seven-year-old.  (No disrespect to tree dwellers.  Or seven-year-olds.)  Also, her show logo is a mushroom.

From one toadstool fool to another, I say: I'm talking to you too, Smurfette. 

Trashy Togs and Kissing Frogs: Rags and Refuse Reimagined

 

Vegas, Maybe Necklace

Cardigan: Hearts & Roses London, Zulily

Top: Merona, Target

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Sunglasses: So, Kohl's

Purple Circle Necklace

Sweatshirt: H&M

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Modcloth

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Barrettes, pin, purse charm, and sunglasses: The Tote Trove 

 Blue Moon Swoon Necklace

Top: Macy's

Skirt: Ellen Tracy, JCPenney

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: JCPenney

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

Bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Barrette: The Tote Trove

I always thought it would be fun to do a photo shoot of super-glam clothes amid piles of trash.  Not gross trash, like fish heads and tampons, but nice trash, like crushed Dr. Pepper cans and lipstick-smeared tissues.  Maybe this is because I'm messy and am looking for a way to legitimize my lack of Martha Stewart-like organizational zeal.  Or maybe I just really like Dr. Pepper.  Either way, I think it would all make for a lovely landfill.

Two out of three of this week's necklaces were made from trash.  That is, trash as in this-used-to-be-part-of-some-store-bought-jewelry-that-fell-apart-while-I-was-wearing-it . . . after, like fifteen years (far be it from me to malign the marvel that is mass-produced fashion).  The focal point namesake moon in Blue Moon Swoon was once one of those stretchy rings, and the two gem clusters flanking it were segments in an equally stretchy bracelet.  The charms in Purple Circle were from a Gumby-esque bracelet, too.  As for Vegas, Maybe . . . well, she was minted from Michael's and Hobby Lobby -- so, new money, like most of the high rollers crowded around the roulette wheel.  But that's what I love about making things, the blending of the tarnished with the shiny, of the old with the new.

Fingers crossed one day I find that Dumpster.