Rusted Root Coot: Million Dollar Stapler

The other night, I was watching Mad Money when I thought, hey, I know that craggy-faced ginger.  He's the stapler guy from Office Space!  For yes, none other than Stephen Root plays the holier-than-thou head honcho at the movie's main setting of the Federal Reserve.  It was a little weird seeing him as "the man" instead of as a basement-banished cog in the wheel.  Although not as weird as it could've been given that he's also Bill Hader's boss on Barry.  

Still, despite making such an impression on me, Root's character in Mad Money is minor.  The story is about his underlings, a trio of blue-collar female Reserve workers including ringleader Diane Keaton, single mom Queen Latifah, and free-spirited kook Katie Holmes. Sick of life screwing them over, they hatch a scheme to steal greenbacks so old they're marked for destruction.  You know.  Kind of like when Ron Livingston and friends use their programming prowess to try to skim some off the top in Office Space.

Almost, but not quite.  The women are far craftier.

That said, please enjoy this pic of my, not red, but pink polka-dot stapler adrift in a sea of Monopoly money.  I got it at Marshalls for less than ten dollars.  But to me, it'll always be priceless.

Happy Halloween: Confessions of a Candy Queen

The confession part is that I bought one of those tacky bagged Halloween costumes, the very anathema of creative people.  The candy part is obvious.  And hopefully somewhat vindicating. 

The bf and I had a Halloween party to go to, and he went as the Monopoly Man to my Candy Land.  (He's a little camera-shy, though, so I spared him from co-starring in this post.)  Now, you'd think that a Candy Land costume would involve either a giant game board-looking thing that you slip over your head or the garb of a character from the game, such as Princess Lollipop or Queen Frostine.  But that wasn't the case.  Much like a kid wearing a shapeless plastic jumpsuit emblazoned with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers instead of an actual ranger suit, I donned a dress decorated with Candy Land game board graphics.  And at first glance I wasn't impressed.  Anyone out there who's ever bought a canned costume knows what I mean.  I was looking to make it more . . . well, me.  So I busted out my trusty lime green Hue tights and ginormous handmade Crazy for Kawaii bib necklace.  Having said no to the silly-ass hat that came with the costume, I added a pink tulle hair bow as well as my Kohl's rainbow stretch bracelets, my own handmade dessert eraser ring, my Betseyville wedges, and a faux clutch made from real jumbo button candy.  After a fruitless search for a giant lollipop, I stumbled upon the button candy in the holiday gift section of JCPenney (even the salesgirl said, "We sell these?").  It was the bf's idea to transform it into a pretend purse.  I made that happen by gluing a candy sheet onto either side of the cardboard that came in the packaging and topping it off with a beribboned accent.  Fellow partygoers kept asking me why I wasn't eating the candy.  I replied that it was pretty untasty.  Not, of course, that that stopped me from eating a bunch at home.