Katy, Lou, and Limeade Too

Today is the first day of spring, which means that summer can't be far behind.  So, I'm fast-forwarding to flip flops and pool-worthy drinks (at least for this post.  I can't be held responsible if a parka rears its hood in April).  And this is what I think would happen if someone made a commercial about two of my favorite fun-in-the-sun brands.

Simply Limeade/Katy Perry Collection Collaboration brainstorming session:

Writer (reading draft): What could be better on a scorching hot day than sipping Simply Limeade in a brand-new pair of lime flip flops from the Katy Perry Collection?  Simply Limeade is tangy, sweet, and refreshing, like a surprise squirt from your crush at the carwash.  (A hose-wielding Lou Ferrigno emerges from behind a palm hedge.)  The flip flops smell like real limes, so with each broiling hot breeze, you'll get a whiff of fresh citrus, just the thing for masking those funky foot odors.  Talk about a silver -- excuse me -- lime lining!

Director: What happened to Katy Perry jumping out of the giant lime?

Assistant Director: We don't have the budget for Katy; we're spending too much on the cartoon dramatization of the funky foot odor and Ferrigno.  By the way, he said yes to the green body paint but no to the shorts.  He says they make him look like a pirate and wants to wear khakis instead.

Director: He'll wear the shorts and he'll like it!  And how do we not have the budget for Katy?  We're promoting her shoes!  

Assistant Director: Yes, but there's a clause in her contract . . .

Director:  Skip it.  Since we've already got Ferrigno, why don't we do a mock promo for an Avengers movie?  We'll call it Green Planet Peril.  The green planet can look like a lime and be inhabited by an army of miniature Hulks.  Thor and Iron Man have to return them to their original size.  Only it backfires when the Hulks get too big for their planet, causing it to explode, sending Simply Limeade all over the galaxy.  

Writer blinks and takes a swig of her limeade.

Assistant Director: I don't think Katy would like that.

Director: She would if we ask her to do the music.  You know, a fun, summer blockbuster version of "E.T." -- minus the Kanye.  (Notices Pizza Guy for the first time.)  Does this pizza have gluten-free crust?  Because I specifically specified gluten-free crust.  Gluten aggravates my acne.

Writer smirks, then catches herself and drinks more limeade.

Pizza Guy: Uh . . .  

Assistant Director: Dude, if we can't afford to star Katy Perry, then we can't afford her music.  Or the Avengers.

Director: First, do not call me dude.  Second, we wouldn't get Hemsworth and Downey Jr.  We'd get guys with dad bods and put them in Thor and Iron Man costumes from Target.  We'd run a disclaimer that says: "No Avengers participated in the making of this commercial.  Marvel maintains that Lou Feriggno is not and never was an Avenger."  It'd be true, but also ironic.  

Assistant Director: No, too messy.  We should chuck the Avengers idea but stick with Ferrigno.  Maybe we can even get Paul Rudd and Jason Segal to reenact that scene in I Love You Man where they beat him up.

Writer frowns.  The I Love You Man thing had been her idea, and Assistant Director told her to cut it.  But instead of saying so, she downs more limeade.

Pizza Guy: Epic!  I know those guys; I think they'd do it for free.

Director: Make it happen.  And get me an espresso.

Pizza Guy:  Sure thing, man.  But I don't work here . . .

Director: Make.  It.  Happen.  (Pizza Guy lopes off, gnawing on a slice and muttering, "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got wheat in my tummy."  Oblivious, Director turns to Assistant Director.)  If you're not careful, that kid's going to get your job.  Now, if we let Ferrigno wear the khakis, maybe he'll jump out of the lime . . .  

And  . . . scene.  Cheers to cooling off on a hot day with limeade, Katy kicks, and The Hulk.  And yes, my pic features the Marvel version of the not-so-jolly green giant instead of Ferrigno.  But that's because he's more photogenic.  

Khakis or not, Lou, it's true.

Alternate Universe Curse: Palm Springs King and Kevin

Fancy Fish Necklace

Colorful Cameo Necklace

Dandy Deco Necklace

This weekend, I watched the Hulu original movie Palm Springs, which can be summed up as a weird, nihilistic, West Coast version of Groundhog Day.  It's about a jaded manchild named Niles (a symbolic name if ever there was one) (Andy Samberg) who gets stuck in some mysterious cave while attending a wedding in Palm Springs, and as a result lives that day over and over again.  While trying to hook up with maid of honor Sarah (Cristin Milioti), he accidentally sucks her into the vortex with him.  They relive the day together on repeat, having fun and making bad decisions because, hey, no consequences!  But then Sarah discovers something about the day that she can't live with, and she and Niles must decide whether to remain in the world where time stands still or work to find a way out.  

Now may be a good time to mention that I've always been confused by Palm Springs.  Because it's a desert with a watery word in its name.  Also, when I hear desert I think cacti, not palm trees.  But in a way, this incongruity only makes the oddness of the movie more fitting.  Point to you, Andy Samberg. 

Earlier this week, I watched another movie, Jeff, Who Lives at Home.  It's about another manchild (alert Pee-wee Herman; "manchild" is the word of the day, if not week), only this one is named Jeff (Jason Segal), and he lives in his mom's (Susan Sarandon's) basement instead of in an alternate universe.  Sweet, introspective, and a little naive, Jeff is convinced that everything happens for a reason and that the universe sends him -- and all of us -- messages.  (Ok, maybe he lives in his mom's basement and in an alternate universe).  So, when he gets a wrong number call for someone named Kevin, he does whatever it takes to follow all the people and things named Kevin that pop up in his path that day.  This means spending time with his jerk of a brother, Pat (Ed Helms), which results in a bizarre string of events that lead Jeff exactly to where he's meant to be.

If I'm talking about manchildren who learn something profound via supernatural means throughout the course of a single day, then what's up with these necklaces?  Not much, but as always, I'll use every tool in my arsenal to force some tenuous connections.  

First, the flamingos in this wall art remind me of palm trees, which remind me of Palm Springs (despite there being no flamingos and only armadillos there).  Secondly, the flamingo art hangs in my home, which is also where I made these necklaces (okay, embellished these necklaces, as I just added ribbon-strung beads to already-made vintage pendants).  And finally, home is where Jeff lives. 

I told you it'd be a stretch.  What isn't is that I liked that Jeff believed in something.  And that he was a fellow homebody. 

Which is my way of saying that everything in life -- and in necklaces -- is always connected.

Movie Moment: The Five-Year Engagement

If NBC made a feature-length romantic comedy, then it would be a lot like The Five-Year Engagement.  Which makes sense because the movie costars a host of NBC actors, including "Community's" Alison Brie, "Parks and Recreations' " Chris Pratt, "The Office's" Mindy Kaling, and "Saturday Night Live" alum  Chris Parnell.  That having been said, it should come as no surprise that The Five-Year Engagement is a thinking person's romantic comedy that peeks under the rocks that line the babbling brook of happily ever after.  Which, to be honest, I didn't like so much at first.  But somewhere along the line I decided that I was (ahem) in it for the long haul.

The Five-Year Engagement is the story of Tom (Jason Segal), a laidback chef, and Violet (Emily Blunt), a sophisticated academic, who meet at a New Year's Eve costume party and get engaged just one year later.  Their journey begins with the usual challenges of wedding planning and meddling family members only to tumble into a move from San Francisco to Ann Arbor when Violet is offered a job at the University of Michigan.  Tom is reduced to making sandwiches for minimum wage and takes on most of the wedding planning duties while Violet becomes increasingly engrossed in her psychology research.  As a result, they dance around their real issues, instead overthinking the logistics of their more-than-once postponed wedding.  Meanwhile, Violet's sister (Alison Brie) and Tom's best friend (Chris Pratt) have a one-night stand that results in a baby, a shotgun wedding, and (despite some garden variety bickering), what appears to be a happy marriage. 

The Five-Year Engagement is funny.  But its real strength comes from recognizing that life doesn't get figured out in one heart-stopping epiphany on the way to the airport, but in mistakes born from the denial that we use to get us through the day.  In tackling this traditionally unromantic angle that good relationships require work, not soulmates, The Five-Year Engagement becomes romantic in a whole new - and more believable -way.             

Movie Moment: The Muppets

About four months after its Thanksgiving weekend debut, the bf and I finally succumbed to Muppet mania.  Like most people, I'd been looking forward to The Muppets for its color, comedy, and all-around craziness.  But I was a little disappointed, which made me feel curiously guilty (I mean, this was the Muppets!), so much so that I defensively chided myself, "Well, maybe that's because you're not five."

Speaking of being a kid, "The Muppet Show" was a little before my time, but I saw The Great Muppet Caper, Muppets Take Manhattan, The Muppet Christmas Carol, and of course, that hallowed mecca of Muppets, "Sesame Street."  Miss Piggy was my favorite.  Her wardrobe was so dazzling that it outshone her bad attitude.

But back to the movie at hand.  Sweethearts Gary and Mary (Jason Segal and Amy Adams) travel to LA to celebrate their anniversary with Gary's kid brother, Walter, in tow.  Walter, it should be mentioned, is not a man, but a muppet (the philosophical ramifications of which are examined to song later on).  Loveable but odd, Walter has been unknowingly driving a wedge between the two-cute-for words Gary and Mary for the better part of ten years.  Mary, like so many women before her, has had it but is too sweet to say so.  As a result, romance is tossed out the window as the trio sets off to tour the old Muppet studio only to find that it's fallen into the clutches of an oil-hungry opportunist (Chris Cooper).  Stricken, Walter leads the way in rounding up his heroes, finally persuading Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, and the rest of the gang to reunite to perform one last show to save their studio.

Despite a star-studded cast comprised of Kristen Schaal, Jack Black, Rashida Jones, Alan Arkin, and several others, the storyline falls slightly flat.  Nevertheless, highlights include Amy Adams's retro-cute outfits (her inaugural one is in Ronald McDonald-worthy red and yellow), Emily Blunt as secretary to Miss Piggy's Paris plus-size Vogue editor, a la The Devil Wears Prada (red wig and all!), and Bret McKenzie's Oscar-winning song "Man or Muppet," during the course of which "The Big Bang Theory's" Jim Parsons makes an appearance as Walter's alter ego.  As a side note, "The Big Bang Theory" in general and Jim Parsons (as Sheldon) in particular are growing on me.  But more on that later.

Something New and Sparkly: Living in the Limelight

Living in the Limelight Pin

Dress: XOXO

Tee: So, Kohl's

Shoes: MetroStyle

Bag: City Streets, JCPenney

Scarf: JCPenney

A few nights ago I was wrapping Christmas gifts into the wee hours while watching I Love You, Man for the umpteenth time.  I never get tired of that movie, mostly because Paul Rudd is at his hilarious nice guy best.  I still want to hide under the table every time he overhears his fiancé and her friends talking about his sad friendless state, only to emerge from the kitchen bearing a tray of root beer floats for them complete with Pepperidge Farm Pirouette straws.  But I digress.  He (Paul Rudd, that is) and Jason Segal were rocking out to Rush's "Limelight" when I thought, hey, that would be a good name for that lime slice pin I made awhile back.  So here it is in all its limey, look-at-me goodness, albeit a little bit glarey.   

Movie Moment: Friends With Benefits

Like many moviegoers, when I heard about the romantic comedy Friends with Benefits, I thought, hey, didn't Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher already make that movie?

Well, sort of.

Like No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits stars a tough cookie heroine (Mila Kunis) with a guarded gooey center. Yet Kunis's Jamie is edgier and more vulnerable than Portman's Emma, making for a more compelling and likable character. Likewise, Justin Timberlake's Dylan trumps Kutcher's Adam. Whereas Adam is eager to be Emma's prince charming from the get-go, Dylan doesn't really know what he wants, which makes him more believable. Although he's a little steamrolled by the more dominant Jamie, he's a worthy opponent, chipping away at her crusty shell until they both end up on equal footing. But what truly makes Friends with Benefits the better movie is that it's really about two friends instead of two near-strangers who just happened to have sex. Kunis and Timberlake have an easy chemistry that cuts through the dating game motions they so cynically mock. Indeed, they first hook up after rolling their eyes at a sappy romance starring Jason Segal and Rashida Jones (which, by the way, was funny to watch given Segal's and Jones's animosity toward each other in I Love You Man). It gives you that whole what-if-two-friends-watching-movies-on-the-couch-just-went-for-it? element that was missing in No Strings Attached.

Stuff to watch for: 1) a cameo by Shaun White as himself and 2) Richard Jenkins as Timberlake's father with Alzheimer's. I know, I know, what's something so serious doing in a romantic comedy? But it works.

Friends with Benefits is fun and, dare I say, poignant without being cheesy. At the end, I left the theater happy.

Movie Moment: Bad Teacher

The premise of Bad Teacher is pretty much encapsulated by its title. It's a story about a (very) bad teacher (Cameron Diaz), Elizabeth Halsey. She shows videos instead of teaching, smokes pot in the school gym and parking lot, dresses provocatively, pelts her students with dodge balls (not cool, coming from a former dodge ball victim), and misappropriates money from the school car wash to use toward her boob job. Exposed as a gold digger by her former fiance, Elizabeth is forced to move into a low-rent apartment with a biker she found on Craig's List ("Modern Family's" Eric Stonestreet). Nevertheless, things seem to be looking up when 1) trust fund-toting substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) joins the staff and 2) her lone friend Lynn ("The Office's" Phyllis Smith) tells her that she can earn a huge cash bonus if her class scores well enough on a state standardized test.

As a person and teacher, Elizabeth is just awful. Even worse than her negligence is her out-and-out meanness. (She tells a student that her mother's cookies suck and initially refuses to date Russell Gettis [Jason Segal] because he's a lowly gym teacher.) And yet, it's difficult to completely hate her. She's so outrageous that she's entertaining. Plus, her arch enemy and fellow teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch) is such an annoying goody two shoes that rooting for Elizabeth seems almost okay.

At first glance, it seems odd that the writers, the director, whomever, chose to create an educator so over-the-top inappropriate that she gets away with everything and has nearly no redeeming qualities. (I say "nearly" because she does exhibit a few flashes of insight when she administers tough-love advice to a couple of students, an instance that resurfaces with deus ex machina abruptness at the movie's ending.) Yet upon closer inspection, it's clear that the creators aren't slamming the American education system or implying that our schools are rife with Ms. Halsey clones. Rather, Bad Teacher is a satire on education's many critics, a sort of cleverly crafted rebuttal intended to defend teachers. (As in, surely there's no teacher out there as bad as Ms. Halsey!)

Then again, maybe I'm giving everyone too much credit and it was just meant to be a sensational movie designed to rake in lots of money. (The movie boasts more than a few gross-out moments to vouch for that.)

Heavy issues aside, Bad Teacher is entertaining, largely owing to its cavalcade of teacher's lounge caricatures. John Michael Higgins makes a few appearances as the clueless and dolphin-obsessed Principal Snur, and Phyllis Smith's Lynn is just so . . . Phyllis. (If you watch "The Office," then you know what I mean.) Timberlake's Scott is a preppy dweeb who matches love interest Ms. Squirrel corny catchphrase for corny catchphrase. It's hilarious to watch Russell quietly mock him, which he does at every opportunity in an attempt to win Elizabeth's affections. As for Russell, he loves teaching but shares Elizabeth's irreverence for rules and her disgust for phonies. Therein lies their burgeoning bond.