Showing posts with label Jamesway. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamesway. Show all posts

Monday, April 27, 2020

Hangin' Around This Gown: Oops, I Mean Tee Shirt


Red tank: Eyeshadow, Macy's; Cactus tee: Mighty Fine, Kohl's; Pink/turquoise striped tee: Derek Heart, Boscov's; Rainbow striped tee: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney; Tie dye tee: Candie's, Kohl's

What up, Counting Crows!  Do you appreciate the way a kooky new necklace lights up a favorite old tee?  No?  Maybe next time I'll feature one of your concert tees (first I'll have to get one).  Then you'll sing a different tune.

That was a bad bit, even for me.  But as I hang around my house and dig ever deeper into my craft stash, I'm running low on more than just humor.  Like clasps.  And wire.  And beads that don't look like they came out of a Jamesway gumball machine.  And so I challenged myself to turn my frown upside down by making the best of what I've got.  No wire?  No problem!  I summoned my satin ribbon from the bench and said, "Look alive!  Don't let those metalheads get into your heads and make you think that because you're soft you're weak.  Braid and knot and move like you're being chased by scissors.  Like scissors, I say!"  To be fair, they were being chased by scissors, and the person wielding them was me.  But you don't get anywhere without a few head games.

Now, I'm not saying that second string satin became the MVP.  Or that I'll be forsaking wire when the craft stores are as wide open as Nebraska.  But I did derive an unexpected joy from working with a material so fluid and, yes, artsy-craftsy.  Sliding pony beads along the colorful strands made me feel like I was at camp, only better because at camp they use yarn and also because camp is the worst (tube-laced mystery meat, I'm talking to you).  It was fun to rummage through my junk drawers, too, which I did to come up with the pendants.  I found one of those perfect seashells with a hole at its base and a plastic noisemaker graced with a clown that came out of a New Year's Eve cracker.  The clown is scary but awesome.  As clowns should be.     

          
Upside Down Clown Necklace, Tahiti Graffiti Necklace

So, now what?  If you know me at all, then you know that I'm a sitcom and-a-half away from ordering some wire.  Which I could have done in the first place.  But there wouldn't have been any adventure in that.  Not to mention any clowns.

To that, I say this:     

YOLO, Bozo.

Monday, June 30, 2014

If Rappers were Royals . . .



Fabulous Felt Queen of the Castle Necklace

Tank: Mossimo, Target
Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez
Crinoline: Party City
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: JCPenney
Belt: Wet Seal
Sunglasses: JCPenney
Headband: Gifted

. . . then they'd wear a necklace like this one.  'Cause it's huge.  Not to mention luxe in a kindergarten teacher-meets-Lisa Frank kind of way.  I think I'm going to wear mine (because as almost always, I have a double) with a black dress and black leggings and some sherbety legwarmers.  Just as soon as I find some sherbety legwarmers.      

Why is it that the word "castle" makes us think of rainbows and stardust and pink colliding in a cartoon kaleidoscope of marshmallow madness?  (And by "us" I really mean "me" and of course the good folks at Disney).  As history (and HBO - thank you, "Game of Thrones" ) tells us, palaces are more often the provinces of dungeons and dragons than of princesses and unicorns.  (Er, make that "stories" instead of histor(ies), as some people would argue that dragons aren't real, but you know what I mean.)  No, in the time of the turrets (enchanted or otherwise), dark, dank dwellings were the law of the land and personal hygiene left much to be desired (just think of the stench of all those unwashed gowns and cloaks).  Which is to say that it was all a little more depressing than some storybooks would have us believe.  Then again, this is just par for the course (watch out for that moat!), given that most lovely things are the stuff of smoke and mirrors.  And Disney.      

They didn't call it the Dark Ages for nothing.     

This is just one of the reasons why my era of choice remains the most excellent 1980s, a time when princesses popped instead of perished.  I just purchased a (and I would be remiss in not saying this) truly outrageous bangle from Etsy's Licorice Jewelry. That's right, it features none other than Jem, that alter-ego accessing, pink-and-blonde coiffed pop diva darling.  Back in the 1980s, there wasn't a girl between the ages of five and eight (nine? ten? How old are kids when they stop playing with dolls?) who didn't want to up and run off with the Holograms, at least until gym class was over.  I, of course, had a Jem doll, as well as Roxy from the evil Misfits.  I purchased Roxy under duress, my preschool graduation money burning a hole in my pocket as I trolled the aisles of Jamesway in search of Kimber, Shana, or even Stormer.  You know how in every mean girl group, there's always that one girl who really isn't so mean?  In the Misfits, that girl was Stormer, the blue-haired sometimes helper of the Holograms.  But some other kindergarten-bound brat must have snatched up the last one, because only Roxy remained.  Probably because she didn't have an ounce of nice in her, her white hair, purple and yellow-rimmed eye, and print metallic pants proclaiming her badass ways.  To be honest, she scared me a little.  

I think she'd be able to hold her own on "Thrones."