Reboot Recruit: Saved by the Hair Gel (sponsored by Dep but not Johnny)

I scored these Saved by the Bell Uno cards from Amazon.  Because, as you know, I'm not above picking up a little something for the good of a post.  By the way, there's surprisingly little Bell merch on the market.  It was either this or an "I'm so excited!  I'm so excited!  I'm so scared!" mug, which, while hilarious, is hardly reflective of the entire cast.  But then, if you're anything like me or umpteen other '90s kids, then you already know that because you grew up watching the show and memorizing its every oddity.  You were on team Zack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) or team Slater (Mario Lopez).  (Who am I kidding?  Everyone was on team Zack.)  You did your homework while you tuned in to the reruns that ran in the sweet spot between dismissal and dinner.  You heard the theme song when you ran to catch your own bus despite the knowledge that none of the Bayside kids ever took transportation less flash than a car.

So, as you can imagine, I was stoked to hear about the Saved by the Bell reboot, which is now available on NBCs streaming service, Peacock.  It begins thirty or so years after the end of the original show, which aired from 1989 to 1992.  An unsettlingly blond Governor Morris -- yes, Zack is now in charge of California -- has cut school funding so badly that low-income Douglas High is forced to close and bus its largely brown student body to lily white Bayside.  (To keep from hating on grown-up Zack, I had to remind myself that Gosselaar also plays the very likeable, in-touch-with-his-emotions, civil rights activist -- and I feel this is very important -- brunette father on ABC's Mixed-ish.)  This time, the show is narrated by a Latin American Douglas transfer student named Daisy (Haskiri Velazquez), dethroning Zack and celebrating the spirit of Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley).  (Not that Jessie's dead; stay tuned.)  Because as the show itself admits, Daisy is the new Jessie, an earnest girl who cares about doing what's right even when it's uncool.  Only now she's Latina and gets center stage instead of being sidelined.  Speaking of Jessie, she's there too (see, not dead!) as a PhD-toting author-slash-guidance counselor who has, as she puts it, "finally figured out her hair."  And Slater's the gym teacher and football coach.  Only he's more introspective (in response to a student's observation that he's Mexican, he wistfully says, "Yeah, no one ever asks me about that."), and he never ever calls Jessie "mama".  Although it's Daisy who voices the show, she's not without a Zack in her orbit.  As a new student, she's assigned a buddy named Mac (Mitchell Hoog), who just happens to be the spawn of Zack and Kelly.  A carbon copy of his entitled, prankster papa minus the charm, Mac is too busy hatching schemes to get to know do-gooder Daisy, much less lend her a hand.  At first.  But his almost cartoonish narcissism is a setup for the, if not nice, then at least enlightened guy he later tries to become.  Unfortunately, this version has no Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins).  But John Michael Higgins's Principal Toddman is just as clueless and well-meaning, even going so far as to belt out a token "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?!"  Finally, there's one recognizable (and now very old!) teacher from the original show who reprises his own brand of out-of-touch-ness.

Unlike that weird last year with Tori, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, or even Saved by the Bell: The College Years, the reboot doesn't just capitalize on the momentum of a popular franchise.  It turns that franchise upside down and questions its values before putting it back right side up with a patronizing-I-still-love-you pat on the head.  Because Saved by the Bell may not have been 90210, but in its own way, it was just as much about privilege.  After all, it was narrated by golden boy Zack, a kid so powerful that he could stop the plot with a glib "Time out!".  Money was never a problem except in that episode where Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen) couldn't afford to go to the prom because her dad lost his job. Furthermore, racial issues seldom arose despite a semi-diverse cast that included Lark Voorhees's Lisa and Lopez's Slater.  Well, except for that time Zack got reprimanded for mocking a Native American.  And that time Jessie interrupted her own Fourth of July speech at the beach club to point out that we took this land from, once again, the Native Americans.  Of course, Bell had other problems.  For example, how could everyone spend so much time at The Max, or, for that matter, in Mr. Belding's office?  Why did all the (non-Screech) nerds look like they came straight from 1960s Central Casting?  How could the Zack-Kelly-Slater love triangle persist without hurting anyone?  Oh sure, it was silly and made no sense and was tricked out in neon colors that rivalled Malibu Barbie.  But that was just part of the fun.  Right?  Right?!    

The reboot, by contrast, takes a fresh look at high school, encompassing the struggles of students of all backgrounds and overturning stereotypes about how boys and girls should excel.  It even has a student, a super popular one, who's trans.  I think the best thing about it, though, is that it knows how to laugh at the original and, by extension, itself.  It's like a snarky Saved by the Bell super fan who's nostalgic for the good old days but has no illusions about their shortcomings.  That said, the Bell reboot isn't just a more realistic rendering of Bayside for our modern times.  It's funny, even when it's sad.  As Jessie's son Jamie (Belmont Cameli) says to Douglas transplant Aisha (Alycia Pascual-Pena):  

"If someone doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about them, then it's not a good fun.  It's a sad fun.  Like a cruise."  

They say that becoming more socially aware means recognizing that there's something wrong with every pop culture thing you loved growing up.  And I think there's some truth to that.  So, does this mean that we should renounce the feel-good but fundamentally unfair slice of selective Americana that is Saved by the Bell?  Well . . . maybe.  I'd be lying if I said that I didn't still love it in all of its hair gel and campy teen splendor.  But I like the reboot too and want to hear the other side of the Bayside story, hopefully for at least one more season.  In a way, this new chapter is the bridge that makes sense of it all, a relevant re-imagining for my generation that's in step with what today's kids already know.

I'm into the old; I'm into the new.  But Kumbaya vibes aside, I still hate the new class.

Movie Moment: Bad Teacher

The premise of Bad Teacher is pretty much encapsulated by its title. It's a story about a (very) bad teacher (Cameron Diaz), Elizabeth Halsey. She shows videos instead of teaching, smokes pot in the school gym and parking lot, dresses provocatively, pelts her students with dodge balls (not cool, coming from a former dodge ball victim), and misappropriates money from the school car wash to use toward her boob job. Exposed as a gold digger by her former fiance, Elizabeth is forced to move into a low-rent apartment with a biker she found on Craig's List ("Modern Family's" Eric Stonestreet). Nevertheless, things seem to be looking up when 1) trust fund-toting substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) joins the staff and 2) her lone friend Lynn ("The Office's" Phyllis Smith) tells her that she can earn a huge cash bonus if her class scores well enough on a state standardized test.

As a person and teacher, Elizabeth is just awful. Even worse than her negligence is her out-and-out meanness. (She tells a student that her mother's cookies suck and initially refuses to date Russell Gettis [Jason Segal] because he's a lowly gym teacher.) And yet, it's difficult to completely hate her. She's so outrageous that she's entertaining. Plus, her arch enemy and fellow teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch) is such an annoying goody two shoes that rooting for Elizabeth seems almost okay.

At first glance, it seems odd that the writers, the director, whomever, chose to create an educator so over-the-top inappropriate that she gets away with everything and has nearly no redeeming qualities. (I say "nearly" because she does exhibit a few flashes of insight when she administers tough-love advice to a couple of students, an instance that resurfaces with deus ex machina abruptness at the movie's ending.) Yet upon closer inspection, it's clear that the creators aren't slamming the American education system or implying that our schools are rife with Ms. Halsey clones. Rather, Bad Teacher is a satire on education's many critics, a sort of cleverly crafted rebuttal intended to defend teachers. (As in, surely there's no teacher out there as bad as Ms. Halsey!)

Then again, maybe I'm giving everyone too much credit and it was just meant to be a sensational movie designed to rake in lots of money. (The movie boasts more than a few gross-out moments to vouch for that.)

Heavy issues aside, Bad Teacher is entertaining, largely owing to its cavalcade of teacher's lounge caricatures. John Michael Higgins makes a few appearances as the clueless and dolphin-obsessed Principal Snur, and Phyllis Smith's Lynn is just so . . . Phyllis. (If you watch "The Office," then you know what I mean.) Timberlake's Scott is a preppy dweeb who matches love interest Ms. Squirrel corny catchphrase for corny catchphrase. It's hilarious to watch Russell quietly mock him, which he does at every opportunity in an attempt to win Elizabeth's affections. As for Russell, he loves teaching but shares Elizabeth's irreverence for rules and her disgust for phonies. Therein lies their burgeoning bond.