Two Plaids, Four Fads, and a Rag Bag Revisited

Coat: So, Kohl's

I'm kicking off this post with a very cheesy -- but very necessary! -- line: so many plaids, so little time.  Because I was so excited about my new pair of plaid minis that I decided to build not one but two looks around each.  

First up is this purple skirt in an outfit we'll call "funky fur."  The skirt is preppy, but the color is kooky, and that's the part I decided to run with.  More mushrooms and My Little Ponies, please!

Yellow Garden Necklace

Top: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Barrettes: Dolls Kill

Bag: Amazon

Next is the same skirt styled in a more scholarly yet fairy kei way.  Looks like "pastel prep" to me!    

Sweater: So, Kohl's

Ring: (old school) Delia's; Barrettes: Dolls Kill; Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney; Yellow bangle: B Fabulous

Skirt: Almost Famous, Kohl's

Teddy Confetti Necklace

Sweater: Pink Republic, Macy's

And that brings us to my second skirt, this colorful flared affair from Delia's for Dolls Kill.

But first, a little tangent. 

A year or so ago, I bagged up some clothes to donate, shoved them in a closet, and promptly forgot about them.  I wasn't about to haul them off to Goodwill with COVID still surging.  But I recently went into that closet to get something else, saw the bag there, and thought, I wonder . . . 

I don't have to tell you that I was soon surrounded by a colorful sea of my so-called castoffs.  Rifling through those garments -- even the hideous ones -- gave me a lot of joy.  There were even a few pieces that were still kind of nice.  This is how hoarders get started, I thought, examining an almost brand-new pair of chocolate flats I'd once deemed too small.  I set them aside; I could make them work with pantyhose.  I also rescued a cutout black sweater that I could probably get away with over a tee shirt, a floral red button-down perfect for Zoom meetings, and, finally, the maroon, blue, and mustard sweater I'm sporting in this ensemble.  At the time, I thought the colors were too drab or collegiate.  But after fishing it out of the bag, I remembered how much I liked the fit and considered reinventing it with a bright bottom.  Enter this sunshiney plaid number!  When the husband snapped my pic in it, he said I looked like I was ready to head to Riverdale, which I loved.  Even though to me the vibe was more Mean Girls.  

Green bracelet: Parade of Shoes; Blue bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Ring: Making Waves, Ocean City

Skirt: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Suzy Snapshot Necklace

Tights: Isadora, Zulily

Finally, I curated the same skirt in a different way, with an oversized pastel sweater and eclectic accessories.  The leopard pumps were another near-discard; they're a little big, which is why I'm rocking socks.  And then there are my crooked cobalt tights.  What is it about vertical-striped stockings, anyway?!  Sometimes the stars align and everything falls where it's supposed to.  But more often than not, no amount of twisting and untwisting can correct a configuration that's woefully catawampus, and I feel as uncoordinated as a kid who can't tie her shoes.  That's why I'm dubbing this outfit "unkempt kitsch."  It's a not-so-subtle reminder that things don't have to be perfect to be pretty.

Which is as good a mantra as any for this recovering perfectionist.

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Flower barrette: Etsy; Bow barrette: Carole, JCPenney

Shoes: Journeys, Kohl's

Spider necklace: SHEIN; Love bangle: Boscov's; Choker: Mixit, JCPenney; Small bracelet: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Large bracelet: Mixit, JCPenney; Barrettes: SHEIN

Out of My Depp: A is for Anchorwoman

Top: Candie's, Kohl's; Skirt (a dress!): Macy's; Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys; Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon; Fuchsia belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Peach belt: Izod, Marshalls; Blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Lime bangle: B Fabulous; Coral bangle: Silver Linings, Ocean City; Striped bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Anchors emblazon everything from cardigans to pillows to flesh (I'm talking tattoos).  But just what is it about these nautical notions that charm us into desecrating our homes and decorating our bodies?  Their promise of a glam getaway and/or safe harbor?  Their association with a simpler, more romantic time?  Or is our love for them nothing more than the product of our preoccupation with Popeye?  (All waterways, it seems, lead back to tattoos.)  In the end, all that matters is that anchors are aces.  And that I had a whale of a time incorporating them into this Bright This Ship Necklace:  

Bright This Ship Necklace

Because when you go bright, you never go wrong.  Unless, of course, your craft is so colorful that it attracts a posse of pirates who commandeer it for their rutabaga smuggling ring (when it comes to contraband, root vegetables are funnier than rum.)  If that doesn't say piece-of-Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-footage-on-the-cutting-room-floor, then I don't know what does.

Unless it's Johnny Depp dressed as a rutabaga and belting out a ribald riddle.       

By the way, I hear that Mr. Depp's bankrupt.  For enough clams, I bet he'd be down.  

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Stilettos are Sweet, but Gerry is Too

Dress: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

If I Dreamed a Desert Barrette Brooch

Dress: ELLE, Kohl's

Yummy Gummy Bears Necklace

Shoes: Mix No. 6, DSW

Sweater: Nine West, Kohl's

Bag: Nahui Ollin

? Parrot Necklace

Blouse: Macy's

Fabulous Felt Yellow Folk Flowers Barrette

Bag: Marshalls; Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Not too long ago, I was crafting and rewatching P.S. I Love you when I caught this quote:

"Just create something . . . new, and there it is, and it's you, out in the world, outside of you, and you can look at it, or hear it, or read it, or feel it . . . and you know a little more about . . . you.  A little more than anyone else does.  Does that make any sense at all?"

This is what Holly (Hilary Swank) says when she meets Gerry (Gerard Butler) and explains her need to be creative.  And yes, it makes total sense!  There's something about seeing the thing that was once in your head become real -- and knowing that others can see it too -- that makes you feel human.  Then again, Holly doesn't put her imagination where her instep is and design shoes until Gerry kicks the bucket.  But you know what they say.  The course to true love never runs smooth.

It should go without saying that the part about creativity speaks to me.  So I'm showing you me wearing colorful stuff, some of which I made, like I do.  And -- because I like you so much -- I'm throwing in some knickknacks, too.  Like the clothes, they make me happy to count myself among the kind of people who surround themselves with whimsy.

Bottles: A.C. Moore

Kaleidoscope: Kohl's

Gerry/Gerard, if you're out there, then forget what I said earlier.  Dead or alive, you're always the dream, even when up against footwear.  Because when you met Holly, you thought, "I never saw so many colors on the same girl" and then promptly set out to pursue her.  And that, dude, deserves devotion.  

Even though, years later, you yelled at her for buying too much Marc Jacobs on eBay.

Squad Soles

 From top left center clockwise: Journee, Kohl's; Michael Antonio, JCPenney; Betsey Johnson, DSW; Anne Michelle, JCPenney; Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Betsey Johnson, DSW

Left, left, left, right, left . . . is a reference to shoes and the Army.  As is this quote from Private Benjamin:

"I wanna wear my sandals.  I wanna go out to lunch."

Goldie, you got it.  Because when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.  Shoe shopping.  So here are some pairs that I purchased this fall, arranged in a Ferris wheel starburst.  My favorites are the rainbow ones from JCPenney.  But I also love the black and leopard cut-outs from Kohl's.  They're ladylike but fierce, like a beauty queen who's also a wrestler.  Plus, they came with an inspirational postcard.  You can't see all of the writing because some of it's white, but it says: "Happiness is just a pair of shoes away."  

You said it, Journee!  I'd expect nothing less from a footwear company named after a trip that also teaches you something.  

Kind of like Private Benjamin.  And also a mean game of dodgeball.

Archaeological Gig: Dino-Mite

 Fantastic Jurassic Charm Necklace

Tee: JCPenney

Skirt: Decree, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Wristlet: City Streets, JCPenney

Royal Rings Necklace

Jacket: Marshalls

Tank: Express

Skirt: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Boots: Simply Vera, Kohl's

Wristlet: City Streets, JCPenney

Black Blossom Necklace

Jacket: Wild Fable, Target

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Bongo, Sears

Shoes: Journeys

Bag: Harajuku Lovers, Ross

Belt: Marshalls

Prehistoric-themed pop culture has always been, well, popular.  In the '80s and '90s alone, there was Jurassic Park, The Land Before Time, and that weird claymationy sitcom Dinosaurs.  (Also Barney, but I don't want to mention him, at least not in the same breath as the others.  Partly because I think that the baby from Dinosaurs will eat him.  But mostly because he's awful.)  And why not?  Dinosaurs are awesome.  Scary, yes, but oh-so-skillful at capturing our imaginations.  (And also dinner.  But that's more to the point of the scary.)  My favorite dinosaur was always the gentle, plant-eating brontosaurus.  When I was little, my dad bought me a purplish-blue one from that pre-Walmart mecca of a general store known as Jamesway.   I guess that's why there are two brontos in my rag-tag band of reptilian dust collectors: 

The T-Rex is just there to lend street cred.

Recently, I found some dinosaur key chains, and I was just as happy as I was when I got that brontosaurus.  I knew that they were destined to migrate to The Tote Trove.  Because I've got a lot of unicorns, butterflies, etc., in my band of magnificently misfit jewelry, but ferocious things not so much.  So I was excited to add some bite to my brood.  Just as I was excited to unveil my newish Jetsons tee.  Now, for obvious reasons, I probably should've used some Flintstones apparel as the backdrop for Fantastic Jurassic.  I mean, Fred and Wilma have that dog named Dino, which is short for -- yes! -- dinosaur.  You know what?  Never mind.  I like the Jetsons tee better.  It's more ironic that way.

As for these other two outfits, they're for dinosaurs who are into raves and/or Sunday-movie-matinees-slash-mall crawls.  The rave seems like a velociraptor thing, whereas the movie and shopping spree spell stegosaurus. 

That said, there seems to be nothing left to say except this:

"Open the door, get on the floor, everybody kill the dinosaur."

You may notice that I went with the "kill" instead of "walk" lyric.  That's because dinosaurs are awesome only in museums and non-museum-quality collectibles.  People want guffaws, not claws and jaws.  Something nonthreatening that they can laugh at that won't laugh at (or dismember) them.

Clearly, that line's not from a catchy pop song.

When Pigs Fly: Perfectly Imperfect

Banana Bow Barrette 

Perfectly Imperfect Necklace

Top: Mudd, Kohl's

Skirt: Wild Fable, Target

Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Bag: Olivia Miller, J. C. Penney's

Yellow necklace: So, Kohl's

Royal blue bangle: So, Kohl's

Turquoise bangle: Burlington Coat Factory

Yellow bangle: Boscov's

Black bangle: Mixit, J. C. Penney's

I ordered this beautiful black and red rhinestone necklace, and when it arrived, it was broken.  I was disappointed for about two seconds before I remembered that 1) it cost seven dollars, and 2) I could fix it and make it even better.  So, I gathered some bright turquoise plastic chain and quirky charms and cabochons, including one of a neon pink pig with wings.  The packaging said "when pigs fly," and that made me think of the children's book Perfect the Pig.

A classic story by Susan Jeschke, Perfect the Pig is about a piglet who is the runt of the litter and, as such, is overlooked by his mother and siblings.  Then one day he sees a big sow struggling on her back.  Despite his tiny size, he uses all of his strength and ingenuity to push her right side up, and as a thank-you, she grants him a wish.  The piglet asks for wings, which sprout right away.  But when he returns home, his siblings laugh at him and tell him to live with the birds.  So he does, but the birds laugh at him, too.  Ostracized, the piglet flies out to the city.  There he lands on the fire escape of a kindhearted artist named Olive.  When she sees him, she says, "So tiny, and with such beautiful wings.  How perfect!"  And so that's what she decides to call him.  She washes him, feeds him fresh vegetables from her garden, and makes him the star of her still life paintings.  As Perfect grows, Olive starts saving money so that they can buy a house in the country.  Then one day, when Perfect is out flying, a man kidnaps him and forces him to perform in his show.  He cages Perfect, feeds him garbage, and threatens to send him to the butcher.  Perfect is shocked and heartbroken, and his wings begin to ache.  Then Olive sees a poster for the show and finds him.  She and the kidnapper argue over who should keep Perfect, so a bystander sends them to a judge (as you do).  The judge does the old let's-let-the-pig-decide deal, Perfect goes to Olive, and the judge grants them half the kidnapper's earnings.  They use it to buy that house in the country and live happily ever after.

This is such a bittersweet book, with such a grown-up message.  I remember being disturbed by it as a kid, though.  I hated the idea of little Perfect being ridiculed for the very wings that made him so special.  Also, the part about the man exploiting him was unsettling because it showed that evil lurked in the world.  Although this story still makes me cry, I now appreciate its bright side.  Which is that Perfect and Olive are kindred spirits bound by a benevolent universe.  And that's a reassuring thought, whether you're five, ninety-five, or somewhere in between.  Even if the back of the book says "ages 4-7."

That said, I think this little winged piglet is what saved this necklace -- and made it unique.  Well, that and the banana, which I found so, er, a-peeling, that I used a couple more in the matching barrette.  Both accessories are fun and eclectic in an '80s way, which is fitting because 1) Perfect the Pig was published in 1980, and 2) this outfit screams Debbie Gibson hosts story hour.

So, I guess the moral here is to persevere and embrace imperfection (and to be kind and refuse to eat refuse).  'Cause pigs got to fly, and rhinestones got to shine.  No necklace -- or wing -- is ever broken.

Happy New Year: Reflections, Resolutions, and Refills

 Grape Marmalade Rampage Necklace

Top: Macy's

Skirt: Boscov's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Michaels

 Pop Art Start Necklace

Dress: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Not Rated, Journeys

Bag: Nahui Ollin

Belt: Kohl's

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Beach Bum Bling Necklace

Top: Lily Star, Target

Skirt: Necessary Objects, Annie Sez

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: DSW

Sunglasses: Michaels

On this last night of 2016, I thought that it would be appropriate to feature necklaces made from old and new pieces.  Last week, when I reached into one of my (many) jewelry boxes, I found that a few of my (admittedly ancient) store-bought stretchy bracelets had broken, the beads and disintegrated cord littered among the intact adornments like fancy flotsam and jetsam.  At first I was annoyed.  But then I remembered that I could repurpose those remnants into things that were even better.  And so I strung up the displaced peach teardrop and pink and cream disc beads, added some seashells, rhinestones, and plastic chains, and came up with this Beach Bum Bling Necklace.  It reminds me of the 1980s (something else old), or, more particularly, of a 1980s hotel painting.  You know.  Ironically.

The rest of my jewelry box boon will have to make its debut later.  For now I used "old" vintage oval charms for my last two necklaces, the facsimiles of which have already appeared in other necklaces in recent weeks.  Well, those and the art deco discs in the Pop Art Start Necklace, which I filched from not one but two former failed experiments.  That's one of the things I love about making jewelry.  Reinvention is always easy. 

This is rarely so with more personal matters.  But in keeping with New Year's tradition, I'm making a resolution anyway, namely . . . to go to bed earlier.  That is, once my hibernation (er, staycation) is over.  It may seem simplistic, considering that most people say something like "spend less," "eat better," or "exercise more," but I can assure you that for me this is no easy feat, as evidenced by the twilight time stamp on most of my posts.  Still, I remain optimistic, choosing to greet 2017 in a glass-half-full kind of way.

That said, it's almost time to start pouring the bubbly.  By which, of course, I mean scoop the ice cream.  

Cheers!