Katy, Lou, and Limeade Too

Today is the first day of spring, which means that summer can't be far behind.  So, I'm fast-forwarding to flip flops and pool-worthy drinks (at least for this post.  I can't be held responsible if a parka rears its hood in April).  And this is what I think would happen if someone made a commercial about two of my favorite fun-in-the-sun brands.

Simply Limeade/Katy Perry Collection Collaboration brainstorming session:

Writer (reading draft): What could be better on a scorching hot day than sipping Simply Limeade in a brand-new pair of lime flip flops from the Katy Perry Collection?  Simply Limeade is tangy, sweet, and refreshing, like a surprise squirt from your crush at the carwash.  (A hose-wielding Lou Ferrigno emerges from behind a palm hedge.)  The flip flops smell like real limes, so with each broiling hot breeze, you'll get a whiff of fresh citrus, just the thing for masking those funky foot odors.  Talk about a silver -- excuse me -- lime lining!

Director: What happened to Katy Perry jumping out of the giant lime?

Assistant Director: We don't have the budget for Katy; we're spending too much on the cartoon dramatization of the funky foot odor and Ferrigno.  By the way, he said yes to the green body paint but no to the shorts.  He says they make him look like a pirate and wants to wear khakis instead.

Director: He'll wear the shorts and he'll like it!  And how do we not have the budget for Katy?  We're promoting her shoes!  

Assistant Director: Yes, but there's a clause in her contract . . .

Director:  Skip it.  Since we've already got Ferrigno, why don't we do a mock promo for an Avengers movie?  We'll call it Green Planet Peril.  The green planet can look like a lime and be inhabited by an army of miniature Hulks.  Thor and Iron Man have to return them to their original size.  Only it backfires when the Hulks get too big for their planet, causing it to explode, sending Simply Limeade all over the galaxy.  

Writer blinks and takes a swig of her limeade.

Assistant Director: I don't think Katy would like that.

Director: She would if we ask her to do the music.  You know, a fun, summer blockbuster version of "E.T." -- minus the Kanye.  (Notices Pizza Guy for the first time.)  Does this pizza have gluten-free crust?  Because I specifically specified gluten-free crust.  Gluten aggravates my acne.

Writer smirks, then catches herself and drinks more limeade.

Pizza Guy: Uh . . .  

Assistant Director: Dude, if we can't afford to star Katy Perry, then we can't afford her music.  Or the Avengers.

Director: First, do not call me dude.  Second, we wouldn't get Hemsworth and Downey Jr.  We'd get guys with dad bods and put them in Thor and Iron Man costumes from Target.  We'd run a disclaimer that says: "No Avengers participated in the making of this commercial.  Marvel maintains that Lou Feriggno is not and never was an Avenger."  It'd be true, but also ironic.  

Assistant Director: No, too messy.  We should chuck the Avengers idea but stick with Ferrigno.  Maybe we can even get Paul Rudd and Jason Segal to reenact that scene in I Love You Man where they beat him up.

Writer frowns.  The I Love You Man thing had been her idea, and Assistant Director told her to cut it.  But instead of saying so, she downs more limeade.

Pizza Guy: Epic!  I know those guys; I think they'd do it for free.

Director: Make it happen.  And get me an espresso.

Pizza Guy:  Sure thing, man.  But I don't work here . . .

Director: Make.  It.  Happen.  (Pizza Guy lopes off, gnawing on a slice and muttering, "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got wheat in my tummy."  Oblivious, Director turns to Assistant Director.)  If you're not careful, that kid's going to get your job.  Now, if we let Ferrigno wear the khakis, maybe he'll jump out of the lime . . .  

And  . . . scene.  Cheers to cooling off on a hot day with limeade, Katy kicks, and The Hulk.  And yes, my pic features the Marvel version of the not-so-jolly green giant instead of Ferrigno.  But that's because he's more photogenic.  

Khakis or not, Lou, it's true.

Movie Moment: Captain America: The First Avenger

Before I get started here, I should say that Blogger appears to have run amuck again, having shunted my Etsy mini, followers, profile, listing, and archive widgets from their proper place on the lefthand side of the screen to the bottom of the screen. This happened once before. I think it eventually fixed itself, but this time I want to check out a couple of quick-fix sites I've bookmarked to see if I can't get a handle on it.

Now, on to the movie.

When I first heard about Marvel's Captain America feature, I instantly visualized Captain Planet, that green-haired, gray-skinned, musclebound recycling crusader of the mid-1990s. Why I confused some comic book hero wannabe with one of the classic Avengers I'll never know. Imagine my surprise when I spotted a star-spangled Chris Evans on the poster in the theater lobby!

Captain America, as it turns out, is about World War II and ninety-pound weakling Steve Rogers's (Chris Evans) burning need to enlist. But his small stature and laundry list of health issues get him rejected time and again, regardless of the many hometowns he claims. Then a kindly army doctor (Stanley Tucci) overhears him explaining his plight to his best friend, who just happens to be a strapping solider, and bends the rules to put him in uniform. Yet as with all stories of struggle, Steve's problems have only begun. He endures boot camp, the derision of his fellow soldiers, and the head-shaking doubt of the colonel (Tommy Lee Jones). Still, Officer Atwell, a.k.a. pretty Peggy, has taken a shine to his underdog determination and diamond-in-the-rough chivalry. Then the good doctor hurls a grenade onto the practice field, sending all the soldiers scattering save the intrepid Steve. It's this act of courage that finally earns him the respect of the colonel and the coveted spot as the guinea pig in a top-secret experiment headed up by none other than Iron Man's dad, weapons engineer Howard Stark.

After receiving the usual injections and electrodes and whatnot that figure in the plots of comic book adaptations, Steve emerges as a tall, muscular hunk of man worthy of Peggy's affections and the army's toughest assignments - the first of which turns out to be dancing around in a red, white, and blue suit with a troupe of chorus girls in an effort to hawk war bonds. Again, Steve suffers through adversity in true Marvel coming-of-age fashion until a chance opportunity at greatness propels him to hero status, launching the story into the blazing-gun, bomb-bursting territory of which boys young and old are so fond.

As always, this (the violence, that is) is where I began to zone out. I do remember a rather creepy villain in the image of a red devil. And something about Peggy promising to teach Steve how to dance. Then, just as I was in danger of nodding off, the story segued into a surprise ending starring Samuel L. Jackson and whispering, "Sequel!"

I probably have no business weighing in on movies that I didn't pick and aren't my cup of tea. But Captain America isn't bad as such films go, and the (gentle) 3D effects didn't make me sick, unlike the rollicking roller coaster ride that was Transformers. The bf was somewhat indifferent, also having had no prior knowledge of the original story. Still, a movie is a movie, and a good time was had by all.

A Very Etsy Christmas

This Christmas, I had the best time searching for gifts on Etsy. My purchases ran the gamut from jewelry to prints. Everyone seemed genuinely pleased upon opening everything. Also, each of these sellers sent everything quickly, so I didn't have to worry about stuff not getting here before the big day. So, without further ado, here's what I bought.

My sister was the easiest person to shop for, as she had helpfully marked several Etsy shops and items as favorites. Here's what I picked:

Andy Williams Christmas Album Notebook, Ivy Lane Designs

Red Sparrow Necklace, Design by Cassandra

Headphones Owl Tee, Gnome Enterprises

Ladder Necklace, Jibby and Juna

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner Magnets, Elloh

Mysterious Butterfly Necklace, Mama's Little Babies

Queen Anne's Lace Jersey Print Scarf, Dwellin Style

Yellow Flower Super Bunny, Murdock Design

My sister liked this Mysterious Butterfly Necklace and Queen Anne's Lace Jersey Print Scarf so much that she put them on right away! And the Yellow Flower Super Bunny was such a hit that she carried it around all day.

Philadelphia Eagles Golf Club Cover, Tracey Knits

Ode to 30 Rock Print, Elloh

At first I thought it would be impossible to find something for Dad on Etsy. But then I interviewed Tracey Rediker of Tracey Knits for my featured artist series. I asked her if she could make a custom Eagles golf club cover, and she obliged in record time! My dad, who is the most diehard Eagles fan out there, got a huge kick out of it. For Dad's next gift, I returned to the tried-and-true Elloh, where I stumbled upon this striking likeness of the 30 Rock crew. 30 Rock being one of Dad's favorite shows, I knew he'd be happy. He was, adding that he had no idea that Etsy offered such personal, unique gifts.

Flirty Brown-eyed Susan Scarf, Babbidge Patch

Mom loves a great accessory, and this Flirty Brown-eyed Susan Scarf screamed her style in brown in gold. She wound it around her neck immediately.

Yoda Star Wars Golf Club Cover, Tracey Knits

AC/DC Vinyl Fine Photograph, Brief Moments

Superhero Fridge Magnets, What's Eating Yin

Looking over my shoulder as I was surfing Etsy one night, the bf spied Yoda and was instantly charmed. "You don't even play golf," I said. "So?" he replied. "You can put him anywhere." I couldn't argue with that, especially because Yoda was so darn adorable. So into the cart he went. The bf started doing a (surprisingly dead-on) Yoda impression upon opening it. 'Nuff said. Yoda now resides on an empty paper towel roll on our bookshelf, on display for all to see. The bf was also excited about the AC/DC Vinyl Fine Photograph (already hanging in our hallway) and Superhero Fridge Magnets. They were my little way of saying, "Here's some masculine décor. Thanks for living in a house overflowing with girly tote bags and shoes."

Nautical Lighthouse Throw Pillow, KelRae Designs

The bf's stepmom loves lighthouses, so when I found this Nautical Lighthouse Throw Pillow, I knew it was perfect.

So there you have it. My first Very Etsy Christmas was a success. I can't wait to see what I find next year!