Valentine's Day in July

 Fabulous Felt Sweetheart Says Necklace

Top: Eric and Lani, Macy's

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Fred Flare

Belt: Wet Seal

Scarf: Wet Seal

 Fabulous Felt Strawberry Garden Necklace

Dress: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Scarf: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Fabulous Felt Colors of the Couer Necklace

Dress: Kohl's

Cardigan: Delia's

Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy

Bag: Fred Flare

Scarf: Wet Seal

Retailers are always cashing in on the kitschy appeal of Christmas in July.  So I thought, why not celebrate the sweetest style holiday of them all and haul out the hearts and flowers half a year early?  Never mind that it's hot enough to melt your lace-wrapped Russell Stovers to fondue.  I'm not what you'd call a real retailer anyway, so all bets are off (although I am most certainly kitschy.)

Talking about hearts makes me think of heartthrobs, which makes me think of how this season of TV Land's decidedly kitschy original sitcom "Hot in Cleveland" has been guest starring Tim Daly. (Hey, I never said it'd be a young heartthrob; there's a reason why AARPs always courting me).  Not to be confused with Tyne Daly, who costarred with Amy Brenneman in "Judging in Amy," who in turn costarred with Tim in "Private Practice."  Don't you just love TV connections?  Speaking of which, I always liked Tim on "Wings," more than Steven Weber, although less than Thomas Haden Church.  There was just something about that jumpsuit . . .

But enough of that nonsense.  On to a more important love connection airing this July, namely my and the husband's first anniversary.  We officially celebrated on July 27, marking our second weekend of food-focused festivities, an event that started with a return to the scene of the ceremony, a. k. a. Renault Winery, and ended with a visit to Guy Fieri's new Atlantic City steakhouse.  What it most certainly did not include was the traditional eating of the frozen top tier of our wedding cake.  Well, at least not for me.  The husband very gamely and bravely bit into the freezer-burned buttercream.  Although I wrestled with doing the same, I ultimately decided that I'd put my intestines through enough during the last forty-eight hours. (I'm looking at you, Mac Daddy Mac n' Cheese.)  Here's what it looked like, though (the cake, not the mac n' cheese).  My artist's ego feels honor-bound to report that it originally featured red, yellow, and salmon roses, not just this frighteningly deep-freeze-leeched-yet-digitally-enhanced Ronald McDonald-esque duo of red and yellow.  That having been said, my inner Bridezilla of days past would be remiss (and I'm sure all brides say this, we being a notably narcissistic lot) in not mentioning that it was the most delicious cake I'd ever tasted (props, again, to the good folks at Renault).

While I'm on this me-me-me stroll down memory lane, here are a couple of wedding pictures in frames I embellished.  When the pictures were fresh last fall, I was the first one to point out the flaws, criticizing each unflattering pose, stray hair, and weird expression.  Now I just think about how happy we look, a sentiment that'll probably grow stronger as the years pass and our quirks (photographed and otherwise) wax even weirder.

Thank goodness I'm a big fan of weirdness.

White Night: Off Their Rockers

Perhaps the only thing funnier than Betty White's newish NBC show "Off Their Rockers" is the recent "Saturday Night Live" parody of it in which Maya Rudolph impersonates Maya Angelou (a laugh in itself) and pranks "Morgan Freeman" by putting a banana cream pie on his chair.  Charging into the coveted Wednesday 8:00 pm time slot to save us from the horror that was "Whitney" and reruns of ABC's "The Middle" (my favorite show, by the way.  When will it be new again?), "Off Their Rockers" borrows from the tradition of "Candid Camera" and "Punk'd," putting a new spin on practical jokes by placing senior citizens in the role of the pranksters.  Their prey?  Unsuspecting and often sullen twentysomethings loitering around southern California hotspots and beaches.  Interspersed with blurbs of Betty herself zinging one-liners from her gorgeous estate (or maybe it's just a set; who can tell?), the effect is charming and zany and showcases the go-for-the-gusto-before-it's-gone spirit that illuminates the eldery set.  Betty, after all, is ninety!  Sometimes, when I feel tired or put upon or even just plain old discouraged, I remind myself that Ms. White appears in a weekly sitcom ("Hot in Cleveland"), makes movies (the latest of which is The Lorax), and guest stars on a host of other shows in addition to this fresh venture, all with unbeatable humor and grace.   Who knew that The Golden Girls's ditsiest dame had all that fabulousness tucked under her blond bouffant?  Well, I did.  But that's only because I have a soft spot for kooks and watch too much TV.

Something New and Sparkly: Ice Cream vs. Fruits and Veggies

Fabulous Felt Farm Fresh Necklace

Fabulous Felt Apples Necklace

Fabulous Felt Ice Cream Cones Necklace

It's no contest when fruits and veggies are up against ice cream. But in Tote Trove land, the healthy stuff exacts its revenge by being much cuter than that beauty queen of food groups, dessert. Which is just a fancy way of saying that I wasn't too crazy about the way the ice cream necklace turned out.

In a completely unrelated note, I'd like to give a shout-out to Betty White, who won the SAG award for best actress in a comedy series for her role as Elka Ostrovsky on TV Land's Hot in Cleveland. Whoo-hoo. Stay golden!

Promises, Promises

Yesterday, my mom and sister and I went to New York's Broadway Theatre to see "Promises, Promises," starring Sean Hayes and Kristin Chenoweth. It was a revival of a 1960s play of the same name, which was based on an earlier 1960s movie, The Apartment, starring Jack Lemon and Shirley MacLaine. In a nutshell, it was the story of a lowly office worker, C. C. "Chuck" Baxter, who gets sucked into lending his apartment to the senior executives for rendezvous with their mistresses only to discover that the girl he's in love with, Fran Kubelik, is his boss's, mistress. It's cute and campy yet underscored by the shadows of the male chauvinism that dominated the workplace of the 1960s. (One review I read aptly compared it to Mad Men.) But unlike Mad Men (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!), "Promises, Promises," finds a moral high ground and stakes its claim there. Ever the "good guy," Chuck saves Fran after a failed suicide attempt brought on by the news that Mr. Sheldrake is not leaving his wife. By the time Mr. Sheldrake crawls back to report that he is, after all, free and asks for Fran's hand in marriage, she's already fallen in love with Chuck, securing the classic happy ending. Snappy dance numbers, stellar singing, and period humor made "Promises, Promises," a joy to watch. Incidentally, it also inspired me to commit to buying a fedora I'd been eying in JCPenney. (Chuck sports one despite his worry that it makes him look like James Cagney. His was gray; mine is pink and black.)

As a side note, it occurred to me that the movie The Baxter was probably based on Chuck Baxter's character. The Baxter is about Elliot Sherman (Michael Showalter), a guy who lets people walk all over him. Indeed, the name Baxter becomes synonymous with anyone who's a malleable yes man, establishing the theme of the movie. Elliot's fiancé (Elizabeth Banks) is cheating on him with her high school boyfriend, and he's powerless to stop her. Meanwhile, he becomes friendly with his offbeat temp secretary (Michelle Williams), who is enmeshed in a relationship with a Baxter of her own (the inimitable and always-easy-on-the-eyes Paul Rudd). In the end, Elliot gets jilted at the alter when the high school boyfriend busts in. Elliot ends up with the secretary, who has overthrown her own boyfriend for being too "Baxterish." Poor Paul Rudd ends up with no one. Although it's a little more complicated than The Apartment and "Promises, Promises," the parallels between C. C. Baxter and Elliot are definitely there.

Now that the deepness is over and done with, it's time to share an interesting tidbit I learned after reading the "Promises, Promises" playbill. It turns out that Sean Hayes (of Will and Grace fame) is the executive producer of that new TV Land sitcom Hot in Cleveland co-starring Betty White. Small world, huh?

TV Tidbits

I didn't have a relevant photo for this post, so I snapped a shot of this adorable Ugly Doll my mom got me. Speaking of Mom, she recently told me she read my blog and "laughed out loud." I'm going to take that as a compliment. On to the tidbits.

Last week the bf was watching the History Channel, as he often does, while I was making jewelry. I am not a fan of the History Channel. Or of the Science Channel. Or the Learning Channel. Or the Discovery Channel. I'm a woman who needs a nice piece of fiction to sink her teeth into, whether it be in the form of a sitcom rerun or a movie. Anyway, on this particular night, the History Channel was running a bio on Albert Einstein. Not being the scientific type, I found the bulk of it boring. However, I did find out that he got his start working in the patent office, an albeit boring occupation, but one that provided him with ample time to daydream about his soon-to-be famous theories. I also learned that he left wife and sons -- she was also a scientist -- to shack up with his first cousin, who was described as "not an intellectual," and "a woman who enjoyed preparing large meals." Humph. I enjoy a good meal as much as the next person, but come on. I lost a little respect for old Albert there.

To completely switch gears, you probably haven't heard about the new sitcom Hot in Cleveland. It's on TVland at 10:00 EST Wednesday nights. But I got hooked because the cast included Betty White. She plays the crotchety, says-whatever-she's-thinking caretaker of a house being rented by three LA transplants, played by Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves (Daphne from Frasier), and Wendie Malick (Nina from Just Shoot Me). The show itself is mildly entertaining; it's your typical story of middle-aged single women trying to find love (although I do enjoy the always kitschy Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing" featured in the commercials). But what's really interesting to me is the character dynamics. With every show I watch, I break the characters down into basic types. In Hot in Cleveland, Bertinelli's character is the optimist, Leeves' character is the cynic, Malick's character is the glamour girl, and White is the viper-tongued old lady. Of course, I couldn't help but compare them to The Golden Girls gang. In that case, White (Rose) was the optimist, Dorothy (Bea Arthur) was the cynic, Blanche (Rue McClanahan) was the glamour girl, and Sophia (Estelle Getty) was the viper-tongued old lady. So, thirty-odd years later, Rose has morphed into Sophia. But then again, if we live long enough, then I suppose we all do. Anyway, if you're a Betty White fan, then Hot in Cleveland is worth your thirty minutes.