Showing posts with label Father's Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Father's Day. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Burying the Read: Par for the Corpse

 

I so badly wanted to use "par for the corpse" even though, despite its cover, this book has nothing to do with golf.  But golf is a dad thing and so is Leslie Meier's Father's Day Murder.  Sort of.  This time, Lucy Stone goes to Boston to accept an award for investigative journalist of the year.  But when she sees what the other women are wearing, her beloved bright sheath makes her feel like she never left Tinker's Cove (okay, so already this isn't a Father's Day thing, but I can only stray so far from my area of expertise): 

"It didn't take Lucy long to realize her dress was all wrong; most of the woman were wearing beaded cocktail dresses or long evening gowns.  In fact, she realized when they finally found their table and sat down, every single woman at the banquet was dressed in some variation of black.  Black silk, black chiffon, black with beads, black with rhinestones, short black cocktail dresses, black evening dresses, and even black pantsuits.  All black.  There was no way she was going to get lost in this crowd, not in her pink-and-orange poppy print.  In fact, she couldn't have chosen a dress that would make her stand out more." (54-55) 

This, of course, made me feel for Lucy -- and fans of bold clothing everywhere.  But wardrobe woes are only the tip of the investigative iceberg.  The real trouble starts when newspaperman of the year Luther Read gets murdered.  Although his son is hauled off in handcuffs, Lucy is unconvinced that patricide is to blame.  She wastes no time in tracking down Luther's disgruntled relatives, business rivals, and jilted lovers in search of the one he pushed too far.  But she still finds time to take in a museum or two and visit Boston's famed Filene's Basement (more garb gab, hooray!).  Now if only she can catch the killer in time to serve her husband his Father's Day breakfast.    

Still, Father's Day Murder isn't all sightseeing and red herrings.  Below its country girl-in-the-big-city surface is a serious message.  Namely, that cutting Luther loose was one way for the killer to put down the patriarchy.  Because Luther, it seems, wasn't a very nice man.  He was one of those bosses who took advantage of his female staff, the kind of seemingly innocuous monster who hid behind his power and gender.  What's more, a second murder -- this time of a young female reporter -- spotlights dangers to women in the workplace on a terrifying new level.  And Lucy can't help but think about that, especially after overhearing the unkind commentary of two male journalists: 

"What a pair!  So smug and complacent and so sure of their place in the world.  They'd never had to battle the glass ceiling; they'd never had to prove themselves the way women did in the news industry  They were the ones who checked out the girls and made passes; they stared and ogled and commented and joked.  All in good fun, of course.  Safe in their thick-soled shoes and confident in their strength, they had no idea what it was like to be five-foot-two and one hundred and ten pounds, late at night, alone in a dark parking lot." (221) 

That's all Lucy needs to hear.  Unstoppable in her red Mootsies Tootsies, she shows the boys in blue a thing or two.

Ovaries are nothing to argue with.

Monday, June 20, 2022

The Mustang Gang: Father Knows Jest

I was getting into my car to drive to my parents' to drive to my sister's for Father's Day when my mom called.  "Wear warm clothes," she warned.  "We're taking the Mustang."  A couple of years ago, my dad finally bought his dream car, a gently used, painstakingly maintained Mustang convertible, and he drives it every chance he gets.  


I'd ridden in it only once, last Father's Day, on an ice cream run.  But my sister's was forty minutes from my parents'.  So I knew that I needed to bring the big guns in the form of a hoodie and scarf.  And I was glad I did!  For most of the ride, my face was entirely covered.  


Which was just fine with me, because warmth and sun protection in one.  Even if my sister said that I looked like "something out of an '80s Grey Gardens."     

     

Anyway, a good time was had by all.  It was a day of dad jokes and classic rock (The Cars, as Dad quipped, appropriately included) and baseball talk (the Phillies lost, but they'll get them next time.)  We had hot dogs and hamburgers by the pool, and I got to hang out with my nieces and nephew.  The seven-month-old had a high time playing with my necklace, which was adorable until she tried to eat it.

On the way to my sister's, we had stopped at Acme so Mom could pick up some ice cream (apparently, the Mustang's programmed to fetch Father's Day dairy).  Dad and I waited in the car.  He took off his baseball cap and said that his hair was almost all white.  I said that it looked good on him, and that I had more white hairs too.  When Mom returned, Breyers melting in hand, Dad filled her in on our conversation.  I thought that it was poignant that we'd gone from Dad teaching me how to ride a bike and drive a car to us comparing notes about the follicular passage of time.

At the end of the day, Dad thanked Mom and me for humoring him with the Mustang.  And although we didn't say so in pun form at the time, wild horses couldn't drag us away.

On that note, I hope that everyone had a happy and memorable Father's Day.  Hopefully, with lots of laughs and ice cream. :)

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Backstrokes and Dad Jokes: All Hail the Father of Funny

Tee: Marshalls; Tank: So, Kohl's; Skirt: Dollhouse, Macy's; Shoes: Naughty Monkey, Zulily; Bag: Luv Betsey, Macy's Backstage; Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target; Pink bracelet: Amrita Singh, Zulily; Red bracelet: B Fabulous; Necklace: The Tote Trove; Towel: JCPenney

Skirt: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Shoes: Betsey Johnson, Macy's; Bag: Mix No. 6, DSW; Charm: The Tote Trove

It's June 21, and you know what that means.  Time to swan dive into that stew pot known as summer!  Of course, this year is different.  Just when we thought that the coronavirus was on the downturn and it was safe to go back into the water, cases started popping up like mutant whack-a-moles.  Which means no carefree jaunts to the beach or hot dog eating contests or running around playing punch buggy freeze tag (yeah, I don't know what that last one is either, but it's as good a way as any to describe avoiding human contact while also pointing out that human contact can sometimes be icky).  It's all a bit of a bummer but also a little okay; as you know, I'm an indoors girl, so it won't cramp my style too much.  Hear that, Hulu?  Get ready!

Today also happens to be Father's Day.  My sister and I celebrated on House Party by telling corny jokes (our mom's brainchild, not ours), and it was egg-cellent.  We cracked Dad -- and ourselves -- right up!  Each of us will get to see Dad (and Mom) in person via six-feet-apart "porch party" visits this week.  It'll be very knock knock, who's there?  Banana.  Banana who?  Knock knock who's there?  Banana.  Banana who?  Knock knock, who's there?  Orange.  Orange who?  Orange you glad I didn't say banana?  I'm almost sorry I put you through that but couldn't resist because it's a cute way to tell you that I have forty bananas in my kitchen.  And sadly, it isn't the first time.  Somehow I haven't yet mastered the fine art of ordering produce for home delivery. 

Perhaps my gal Carmen up there would care for a smoothie -- or ten.     

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Driving With Dad - The Original Lyft


All Sorts of Sweet Necklace

Top: Bongo, Sears
Skirt (a dress!): Modcloth
Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily
Bag: Nine West, Marshalls
Belt: Wet Seal
Yellow bangle: B Fabulous
Orange and black.white bangles: Mixit, J. C. Penney's
Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

A few Father's Days ago, I made an all sorts barrette in honor of my dad's favorite candy.  This year I made this necklace.  And I realized that it's fitting in more ways than one.  

Back when I was in college, my dad picked me up to take me home every weekend.  He knew I wasn't comfortable there and that I'd rather be home.  So, for four years he'd take time out of his own busy schedule to battle traffic and an hour and a half drive to chauffeur me between north and south Jersey.  And during our rides we'd talk about -- wait for it -- all sorts of things.  My classes, his work, and shows we'd both seen on TV.  He joked that these were our therapy sessions, and I guess in some ways he was right.  When we'd arrive at my dorm, he'd help me tote my many bags of clothes, (mostly untouched) books, and assorted nonsense, once even enduring my freak-out when I discovered I'd forgotten my makeup.  I always thanked him, but it isn't until now that I see just how much it all meant.  

So thanks, Dad, for driving me all those years.  And for being the (insert dad joke here) wheel deal.  

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Rad, Dad . . .


 Happy Hipster Charm Necklace

Top: Decree, JCPenney
Skirt: Modcloth
Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless
Bag: Sleepyville Critters, Zulily
Belt: Modcloth
Sunglasses: Brigantine Beach shop

. . . is what you'd say, unironically (because it is his day, after all), if your dad told a joke beginning with "Knock knock, who's there?", or for crustier dads and more mature audiences, "A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar . . .". Oh, Father's Day. You were invented by President Nixon ('cause Tricky Dick did one thing right) and kept kicking by Hallmark. But we see past the politics and profits to the ooey gooey sweet center of this celebration that simply states: I love you, man. If you look closely at life, then you'll see several parts of the padre, scattered helter skelter like so many fishing lures and foam fingers and tie tacks. There's that old rascal Father Time (as illustrated by these colorful watches on an appropriately masculine albeit glossy hardwood floor); A Wrinkle in Time, the classic story about a brilliant but flawed father who is missing, and finally, Miller Time, a tribute to that all-time fatherly favorite: beer.


Speaking of which, we salute you, weird little peach double scoop top that doesn't seem like it would go with anything. Yeah you, creeping up on the rad rainbow chevron. (This is a nod, I realize, not to anything Miller, but to those old Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials. As in, we salute you, Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller Guy, the man who has everything -- everything except a friend to help carry a cooler.) Weird little peach double scoop top, I half-heartedly bought you on clearance years ago because you were too cheap to pass up and ended up wearing you a ton, especially layered under sheer blouses that look like melted sorbet (how's that for poetry, oh hauler of the hot dogs?). And good thing, too, because you turned out to be a great backdrop for this Happy Hipster Charm Necklace, a bad boy piece of bling that boasts a llama, rainbow, palm tree, cactus, and, to go with those brewskis, a taco and slice of pizza.

You know what else goes with brewskis? Hawaiian shirts. Just ask Real Man of Genius Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer Guy. Big kahuna indeed.


So, whether you crack open a Miller, Bud, or pink lemonade this Father's Day, we salute you, dads of America.

And also Mr. T, for making it cool for men to rock necklaces.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Cool Daddy-O Patio: Papa Don't Beach Without Sunnies



This is just the kind of post title that I always said I'd never use.  I mean, cool, daddy-O?  What am I, a beatnik?  But it is Father's Day, and I decorated these (albeit very girly women's) sunglasses.  So.

Speaking of Father's Day, I ordered Being a Dad is Weird, by Ben Falcone, online as a gift for my dad.  But when it arrived, it had an unidentifiable yet unmistakably sticky something smeared on the cover.  So I bought my dad another copy and kept the original.  After all, I like to read, and I like Ben Falcone.  Whether it's his performance as the sexually harassed Air Marshall in Bridesmaids, the power trip-fueled fast food manager in Tammy, or (and this is my personal favorite) the music teacher in that old Target commercial who plays the piano and sings about denim, Benji always brings the odd.  (He refers to himself as Benji at least once in the book, so I think it's okay for me too).

Filled with amusing anecdotes about growing up with an intellectual and outlandish writer father, Being a Dad is Weird is a lighthearted walk down memory lane.  Like many comedy writers, Falcone was an awkward kid (he rocked an acid wash denim jacket with Led Zeppelin and U2 pins).  But not that awkward (he played sports, dammit!).  Just awkward enough to use humor to defuse many a -- wait for it -- awkward situation.  Anyway, he compares having a father to being a father to his two daughters with wife Melissa McCarthy, and it's all very sweet and heartwarming.  Well, as sweet and heartwarming as something can be when liberally peppered with F-bombs.

Earlier today my sister and I were dismayed to find out that we had both bought my father this book.  So there are now not one, not two, but three hardbound copies floating around our family.  Perhaps we should start a Ben Falcone fan club.       

That said, maybe next year I'll shoot for a more PSA-themed Father's Day post, something like Ray Ban Man: Fathers Fighting Fried Retinas.  That way the dads get to be the heroes. And I get a free pair of Ray Bans.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Sugar Rush Gush: Props for Pops



Fabulous Felt All Sorts of Sweet Barrette

Top: Material Girl, Macy's
Camisole; So, Kohl's
Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's
Shoes: Venus
Bag: Xhilaration, Target
Sunglasses: Michaels

There are all sorts of fathers out there, and song lyrics are rife with rhymes about bad dads.  Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach," Everclear's "Father of Mine," and Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle" spin stories of subpar patriarchs -- not to mention anything by Papa Roach or Puff Daddy.  That's why it's nice when you have a dad worth singing (a good song) about.  Fortunate to be among this number, I'm celebrating Father's Day with my father's favorite candy in this Fabulous Felt All Sorts of Sweet Barrette.  Speckled with bright stripes and circles, it's bursting with good times and the spirit of summer -- even if the black bits symbolize the dreaded (to me) licorice.  Which makes it just the right dad's day dessert, all the colors of the confectionery masking the unpleasantness.  So, to every dad who ever helped make an algebra test, playground meanie, or just plain bad day go away, enjoy the treat of your choice, safe in the knowledge that you are the rainbow.

That having been said, I can't be held responsible for runs on Lucky Charms, rainbow sherbet, or old-timey lollipops.           

Monday, June 23, 2014

It's the Thought That Counts . . . So Start Thinking (and also Happy Summer)



 Sunny Saturday Necklace

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's
Pants: Xhilaration, Target
Shoes: Guess, DSW
Bag: Betsey Johnson
Belt: Wet Seal
Sunglasses: JCPenney


 Easter flowers still going strong (at least until recently).

 Some gorgeous beach blossoms for which I'm (thankfully) not responsible.



In honor of the first official day of summer, I made this Sunny Saturday Necklace.  On a Saturday, as it turns out, that was somewhat less than sunny.  If the pendants are familiar, then it's because they're made from the famously value-priced Haskell earrings from Boscov's, or, more accurately, from the equally famous (or perhaps I should say infamous) Boscov's tent.  The tent and store were packed, and the salespeople were muttering, "Why aren't these people at the beach?"  (I was there on Friday, not the partly sunny Saturday.)  Apparently, choosing between catching a wave and a sale is no contest.

The start of summer doesn't just mean tent sales.  It also marks the end of the celebration-surfeited spring, and with it, the standard gift-buying season.  And I should know, as I come from a long line of enthusiastic gift givers.  Exchanging tokens for all occasions is a fine tradition and keeps things fun and festive.  But it does present one problem; with so much gifting going on, it's not uncommon to grapple with what-do-I-get-this-time syndrome?  Indeed, when faced with choosing items for loved ones, it's all too easy to fall into the giving-what-you'd-like-to-get trap.  I always thought that the idea of picking out presents that you secretly wanted was nonsense, especially when my seventh-grade Sunday school teacher advised us to do just that for our Christmas Pollyanna.  Or at least I did until I ended up with a stuffed moose sitting atop a plastic dome of questionable candies.  "Why didn't you listen to Mrs. McPreachy (not her real name)?" I silently demanded of the gifter.  "Surely you wouldn't want this holiday horror."  I should mention that it wasn't the monetary value of this offering with which I took issue (especially as it was probably just within the $10 cap that typically accompanies such exchanges).  I would've been thrilled with a Bonnie Bell lip gloss.  No, it was the complete lack of thought that triggered my disappointment.  That and the insinuation that I was the kind of girl who would appreciate a glucose-bearing game animal.

That having been said, when I'm shopping for others, I try to strike that all-important balance between choosing something that's appropriately thoughtful (that's the giving-the-kind-of-gift-you'd-want-to-get part) and appropriately them.  As in, put down that neon pink and chartreuse zigzag print sweater that you think is totally awesome and pick up the solid oatmeal waffle weave one that your sister wants instead.  If you're struggling, then just try to imagine how disappointed you'd be if you unwrapped the oatmeal sweater.  At least, that's the mantra I live by.    

Such restraint is especially important when shopping for men's clothing.  Men don't get a lot of choices when it comes to fashion.  They have their stripes and their plaids and their checks, all in manly (which is to say toned-down) shades of red, blue, black, brown, green, and gray.  So, it's difficult to get something that doesn't look like everything else in your brother's or dad's or boyfriend's or husband's closet.  That's why it's tempting to pounce on a pink polo or an orange and green madras plaid button-down.  Don't do it.  (Unless, of course, the man in question is peacock enough to be into that sort of thing.)  It's better to get something similar to something he already has that he likes rather than something different that he'll probably hate.  Even if it means having to say, "No, this isn't the same red and blue checked plaid shirt that I got you for your birthday; see, this (Father's Day version) has a subtle grid of yellow running through it."

Then again, sometimes surprises are welcome.  This past Easter I received an unlikely item in the form of a purple flowering plant (I don't know what it's called, although I remember that I can't pronounce it).  I say unlikely because I'm not the most nurturing of plant guardians, unlike the husband, who's kept a St. Patrick's Day clover plant (complete with leprechaun head pick) going and thriving since March.  So, when I received the plant, I immediately told myself, "You'd better keep this thing alive."  I watered it (almost) every day after that.  To my surprise, it lived and even sprouted new flowers until just last week when it finally succumbed to the heat.  Although it lasted for almost two months, its demise still made me sad, reminding me that flowers are fleeting.  That's why I walked to the beach tonight to take a few pictures of the flowering dunes.  I'd noticed them yesterday when I was without my camera and knew from years past that they don't last all summer.  Just this April I missed out on the cherry blossoms in front of the library, and I wasn't about to go through that again.  

Because when you get down to it, capturing the wonder of nature is more important than finding the perfect present.  And as they say, living in the present is present enough.  And as I say, it's nice when you find just the right corny saying to bring your post full circle.