Shady Ladies: Slumber Party With Sophia and Dorothy

Tonight we say hey to Florida's finest.  And no, I don't mean Miami Vice.  I mean Dorothy and Sophia! (Although I wouldn't want to meet Dorothy in a dark alley.)  These golden girls boast one of TV's most beloved and complicated mother-daughter relationships.  Sophia's ornery antics and Dorothy's no-nonsense demeanor highlight all the tension and laughs that would inevitably erupt between a mama bear and her grown-up cub spending their golden years under one roof.  (And yes, if your ears are tingling, then it's because "Mama Bear" is Dorothy's odious ex Stan's pet name for her.)  Sophia skewers Dorothy for her nonexistent love life, and Dorothy regularly threatens to send Sophia back to nursing home from hell Shady Pines.  Yet despite all their issues, these two share a quick wit, a disdain for Stan (except for those occasions when Dorothy falls off the anti-Stan wagon), and a bond that can never be broken.  

So, I was as happy as a Miami Dolphin (I know nothing of sports, but dolphins are cheerful, yes?) when my sister presented me with this pair of Dorothy and Sophia-themed pajamas for no other reason than that she found them on clearance at Macy's.  I especially love how Dorothy is characteristically angry, her disapproving mug presiding over her ominous catchphrase, a.k.a. the only thing that could shut Sophia up: "Shady Pines, Ma, Shady Pines."  

The pjs are as comfy cozy as The Golden Girls itself, and I expect them to go through as many wash cycles as my TV goes through reruns.

So, Dorothy and Sophia.  Sophia and Dorothy.  So shady.  Such ladies.  

May they and all of their fans have sweet dreams -- and even sweeter cheesecake.

Thank You for Being on Trend: Golden Oldies Then and Now

Go for the Golden Girl Necklace

Top (a dress!): Modcloth

Skirt: Celebrity Pink, Macy's

Shoes: B.A.I.T., Zulily

Bag: Marshalls

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Picture it.  Jenkintown, 1980-something.  A classic beloved '80s sitcom is featured on a current beloved sitcom that's set in the '80s.  That's right.  "The Goldbergs" yukked it up for "The Golden Girls" in a recent episode.  Now, this is the part where I ask myself, self, should I take a beat here to explain "The Golden Girls" and "The Goldbergs"?  Probably not.  I mean, it's not like you live under a rock or something.  But just in case there are any rock dwellers out there who just happen to have internet access, here it goes:  The Golden Girls are/were eccentric ladies living together in Miami, and the Goldbergs are an eccentric family living in a suburb of Philadelphia.  

Now that that's out of the way, we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming.  

In this episode, the Goldberg clan becomes smitten with the four feisty Floridians, humming along with the theme song (yes, even crotchety Murray [Jeff Garlin]!) and picking out their favorites.  Beverly (Wendi McLendon-Covey) is particularly taken with the idea of having gal pals to laugh with once her schmoopies are grown and gone.  So, as part of her Bevolution, which is her self-improvement plan (and yes, that's what she really calls it), she launches a mission to forge lifelong friendships stat, an ill-starred effort that involves strong-arming her fellow PTAers into bedazzling sweaters and answering to belittling nicknames.  Confrontations are made, heart-to-hearts are had, and hilarity ensues, all to the tune of a cover of the Golden Girls theme song.  Also, there's sledding on lunch trays (a failed ski trip somehow factors in).  Betty White does not make a cameo.  The only thing that could have made it more iconic would be Shaq doing commercials for Gold Bond (because of the gold, not the Shaq, as he's clearly '90s territory).  Well, that and a Betty White cameo.

So.  To celebrate this turduckan of cultural Culture Club-era camp, I made this gold Go for the Golden Girl Necklace.  Or rather, as I say in its Etsy listing, "gold-tone."  (This is The Tote Trove, not Tiffany's.)  

Ah, gold.  The Big G.  What a winner.  It's the color of Beverly's big, bouffant hair, and the shade of the Miami sun.  Also of liquid gold Velveeta shells and cheese, which is something that domestic divas Beverly Goldberg and Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) would never dream of serving to family.  Those two would get along, I think, what with their big mouths and manipulatively matriachal ways.  Or maybe they'd destroy each other, just like the dinosaurs.  (What?  The dinosaurs didn't destroy each other?  T-Rex ghost, you've been lying to me.)  But there's no need for a face-off.  Because . . . (sing it with me, now!), you make new (TV) friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold(en).  Unlike the dinosaurs, "The Golden Girls" and "The Goldbergs" will never die, living on forever in syndication.

Sounds like a reason to gorge on shrimp parm and cheesecake to me.

Golden Girl Swirl and Three Cheers for Cheesecake

Key to Kawaii Necklace

Dress: Modcloth

Top: Bongo, Sears

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

Belt: Candie's, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Michaels

Sun, Moon, and Stars Necklace

Tee: Alloy

Blouse: Decree, JCPenney

Skirt: Bongo, Sears

Shoes: City Streets, JCPenney

Bag: Gap

Sunglasses: JCPenney

Oval Office Intern Necklace

Dress: Eric and Lani, Macy's

Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Payless

Bag: Journeys

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

All that glitters may not be gold, but then gold's not all it's cracked up to be.  Which seems like just the right position to take as a jewelry crafter who deals mostly in plastic.  Indeed, this week's necklaces are flawlessly flashy, illuminated by faux gold metal and oodles of sparkly rhinestones -- well, that and the inner light of their own spunky spirit.  More sedate than my usual stuff yet still respectably sassy, I like to think that they appeal to accessory enthusiasts of all ages.  Which is to say that good time Golden Girl Blanche would probably be game to don the Oval Office Intern Necklace (even if just for the name), and girly Golden Girl Rose would be right at home in the Key to Kawaii or Sun, Moon, and Stars necklaces.  Which, I realize, leaves nothing for no-nonsense Dorothy.  But then, she was never one for frivolity -- not that she had any room for it anyway, what with those ginormous cowl necks she often wore.  Still, frumpy or not, she was one funny lady.  They all were (you too, Mama Sophia), trading life lessons, anecdotes, and yes, sometimes even insults over that panacea of pastries, the cheesecake.  The decadent dessert seemed to magically emerge from an ever-present pink bakery box whenever the quartet was at some kind of crossroads, its creamy rich goodness mending broken hearts, soothing bruised egos, and resolving petty differences, often to the tune of a St. Olaf story.  

Print of original artwork by Etsy's own Elloh hanging above my TV, just right for watching "Golden Girls" reruns!

Never once during these binges did anyone utter a word about heart disease. Well, except for when Blanche's whippersnapper of a grandson said that he didn't want to sit around listening to their arteries harden. I don't have to tell you that he was punished when don't-mess-with-me-Dorothy swiftly brought down the hammer. As for Rose, she administered her own brand of vigilante justice in the form of a BLT with a chocolate cake chaser. Whose arteries are hardening now, whippersnapper?

TV Tidbits

I didn't have a relevant photo for this post, so I snapped a shot of this adorable Ugly Doll my mom got me. Speaking of Mom, she recently told me she read my blog and "laughed out loud." I'm going to take that as a compliment. On to the tidbits.

Last week the bf was watching the History Channel, as he often does, while I was making jewelry. I am not a fan of the History Channel. Or of the Science Channel. Or the Learning Channel. Or the Discovery Channel. I'm a woman who needs a nice piece of fiction to sink her teeth into, whether it be in the form of a sitcom rerun or a movie. Anyway, on this particular night, the History Channel was running a bio on Albert Einstein. Not being the scientific type, I found the bulk of it boring. However, I did find out that he got his start working in the patent office, an albeit boring occupation, but one that provided him with ample time to daydream about his soon-to-be famous theories. I also learned that he left wife and sons -- she was also a scientist -- to shack up with his first cousin, who was described as "not an intellectual," and "a woman who enjoyed preparing large meals." Humph. I enjoy a good meal as much as the next person, but come on. I lost a little respect for old Albert there.

To completely switch gears, you probably haven't heard about the new sitcom Hot in Cleveland. It's on TVland at 10:00 EST Wednesday nights. But I got hooked because the cast included Betty White. She plays the crotchety, says-whatever-she's-thinking caretaker of a house being rented by three LA transplants, played by Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves (Daphne from Frasier), and Wendie Malick (Nina from Just Shoot Me). The show itself is mildly entertaining; it's your typical story of middle-aged single women trying to find love (although I do enjoy the always kitschy Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing" featured in the commercials). But what's really interesting to me is the character dynamics. With every show I watch, I break the characters down into basic types. In Hot in Cleveland, Bertinelli's character is the optimist, Leeves' character is the cynic, Malick's character is the glamour girl, and White is the viper-tongued old lady. Of course, I couldn't help but compare them to The Golden Girls gang. In that case, White (Rose) was the optimist, Dorothy (Bea Arthur) was the cynic, Blanche (Rue McClanahan) was the glamour girl, and Sophia (Estelle Getty) was the viper-tongued old lady. So, thirty-odd years later, Rose has morphed into Sophia. But then again, if we live long enough, then I suppose we all do. Anyway, if you're a Betty White fan, then Hot in Cleveland is worth your thirty minutes.