Trash Bash: Celebrating (and Berating) Stinky

 

In the spirit of revisiting the nostalgia and wisdom of TV shows from my childhood, I finally took a gander at The Pursuit of Grouchiness: Oscar the Grouch's Guide to Life, which is a gift book I got last Christmas.  Now, there are only three other famous Oscars that I can think of: Oscar from The Office, Oscar Mayer, and that gold statue that everyone in Hollywood covets come award season.  Needless to say, this book isn't about any of them, but the not-so-loveable character who lives on the seamier side of Sesame Street.  Everyone knows that Oscar the Grouch is a misanthrope in Muppet's clothing, a naysayer of the first order who's probably been kicked by life even more than his trash can.  

This would probably be a good time to reveal that I've spent most of my life as a pessimist -- in other words, a better-smelling Oscar, but an Oscar all the same.  These last few years, though, I've turned a corner into optimist territory, and I'll be the first to admit that it's a much brighter, more beautiful, and all around easier place to live.  Nevertheless, the snarky ghost of Tracy past couldn't help cracking a smile at some of Oscar's less-than-sunny-sentiments.  Here are some of my (her?) favorite parts.  Even if one is the about the author page.  

"We're grouches, we can only be happy when it rains."

Whoa.  A garbage can dweller who's only happy when it rains?!  Is it me, or was Garbage front woman Shirley Manson inspired to name her band and first hit single after the original Dumpster diver?   

"Morning people annoy me.  So do all other people."

I think this one speaks for itself.

"Oscar the Grouch doesn't need to explain himself to you.  

He lives in a trash can on Sesame Street."

I like this one because I still struggle to not explain myself.  

And finally, here's the incongruously upbeat bookmark I used to mark the aforementioned Oscar and friends (enemies? frenemies?) page.  Tricked out with the neon peace sign, yin yang, and happy face that were the poster child trio of '60s-turned-'90s pop culture, it stands for pretty much everything that Oscar doesn't. 

That said, the, ahem, Oscar (Emmy?  No, just go with the bit) goes to . . .

. . . Oscar the Grouch for his portrayal of a curmudgeon on Sesame Street! 

 Because anyone who expends that much enthusiasm for being miserable is, deep down, loving life.  

Book Cook Nook: Bon Appe-treat

I'm living proof that you don't have to like cocktails or cooking to love Amy Sedaris's I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence.  This book came out four years before Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, but somehow I missed it.  I was probably put off by its being a cookbook, which it definitely is.  I know because Sedaris is quick to classify it as such in the Foreword: "This is not a joke cookbook.  I don't like joke cookbooks because I can't take them seriously."  Although it's indeed side-splitting, it includes real recipes too, so, Amy, message received.  Anyway, it's also overflowing with colorful photographs and illustrations as well as zaniness and retro charm.  Also, decorum-be-damned flavor.  I give it an S for salty.

Sedaris goes on to say that she caught the homemaking bug as a child watching cooking shows in North Carolina and hoped to host her own program one day.  Which just goes to show that you lampoon the ones you love.  Or is it you hurt the ones you love?  Or, if you love something, then lampoon it?  Semantics notwithstanding, truTV's At Home with Amy Sedaris (an Emmy winner!) proves that dreams do come true.  Maybe that's because Sedaris isn't afraid to go there or make herself the butt of the joke.

Here are some parts that I especially like in I Like You:

On being an out-of-town guest:

"If you're an out-of-town guest, be classy and find somewhere else to stay.  If you're not classy or you're a family member, here are a few suggestions on how to be a tolerable out-of-town-guest: Don't arrive saying you have chiggers, scabies, ringworm, or lice.  Keep your parasites to yourself.  Don't show up with a pet you need to bury.  Don't dye your hair while you're there.  My mother always said "Don't bother other people."  I think that's good advice." (63-65)

On entertaining the grieving:

" 'We were in the bathtub and I felt a cyst on his good testicle.  I insisted on taking him to the hospital even though he protested, saying it was nothing.  After a thorough exam it turned out he was right, it was nothing.  On the way home he was murdered.'  . . . There is no bigger hospitality challenge than entertaining for the grieving.  They are just so sad. " (122)

On gift giving:

"Giving a gift can express many things -- Congratulations!  Get well soon.  Remember me?  I'm so sorry, it will never happen again.  Happy Secretary's Day!  Happy Graduation.  Happy Birthday.  I didn't mean it, it was the spiced rum talking.  The best presents come from the heart and say something simple: "I like you." " (186)

Sedaris says that she's a better cook than writer (her delightful Foreword strikes again!).  "I can't write good, but I can cook even better and I am willing to share with you my sackful of personal jackpot recipes that, because of their proven success, I continue to make, over and over again."  I know she's kidding.  Still, I called this post Book Cook instead of Cook Book to emphasize that Sedaris is a writer, i.e. someone who "cooked" a book.  Although not in an embezzly way.

So, this spring, treat yourself to a heaping helping of hilarious.  In this time of social distancing, it may not help you entertain others, but it will most definitely help you entertain yourself.  Which is just as well, because in life you're always the guest of honor.   

Don't be coy.  You know you like you.

TV Tuesday: Going in With a Bang

My mind is a runaway train of ideas that I (for some reason) feel compelled to chronicle.  And today I got the idea to start a TV Tuesdays column.  Each Tuesday, I'll blog about a TV show.  It may be a general series description, a recap of a new episode, a nostalgic look at a beloved rerun, or even just a tenuously TV-related topic.  I'm keeping the field wide open so as not to stump myself too early on. 

That having been said, let's get started. 

I didn't watch "The Big Bang Theory" when it premiered on CBS five years ago.  I think I thought that it was one of those banal sitcoms that spun on the strength of pitting creepazoids against beautiful women.  (Even now I watch it On Demand instead of in real time.  At 8:00 p.m. on Thursday nights my heart belongs to "Community.")  But when the reruns first aired on TBS this past fall I realized that I'd been too quick to judge, proving once again just how much TBS has enriched my life.  I found offbeat scientists Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Raj to be oddly endearing, right down to their social ineptitude, unfashionably colorful clothing, and blend of bathroom and brainy humor.  At the nucleus of the hilarity, of course, is Dr. Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons).  I have a kind of love-hate relationship with him.  His overbearing control-freak ways are anathema to my live and let live sensibilities, but he's just so funny and idiosyncratic (those Emmys don't lie) that I can't help but be charmed by him.  In my estimation, his stock only rose when his equally brilliant and eccentric girlfriend Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik) entered his orbit.  

Being in the arts and crafts business, I got a kick out of the episode where Penny (Kaley Cuoco) starts making flower barrettes called Penny Blossoms to sell online.  Her excitement at landing a huge order quickly dissolves when she realizes that she mistakenly promised next-day shipping.  The guys soon exchange their equations for rhinestones, diving into an all-night craft-a-thon.  Surprisingly, it's the acerbic Sheldon, Penny's toughest critic, who encourages her to embrace entrepreneurship when things seem bleakest.  In the end, another comedic calamity explodes, putting the kibosh on the blossoms and sealing Penny's fate as a Cheesecake Factory waitress.  A fitting microcosm of the creative life if ever there was one.             

As for the current season, I'm still an episode behind.  Which means that Stephen Hawking will be joining my next pizza night.

Happy Birthday, Betty White!

The ever-fabulous and inimitable Betty White is eighty-nine today! You undoubtedly know her as Rose Nyland from The Golden Girls, as the lady in that Super Bowl Snickers commercial, as a passionate animal rights activist, and as Saturday Night Live's oldest (and quite possibly funniest) host. But after perusing the trusty Internet, I found out some more. For instance, that Betty had a Pink’s Hot Dog named after her (it's called the Betty White “Naked” Hot Dog), that she wrote a short story called "Pet Love" for Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover’s Soul, that she is the only Golden Girl to appear on four different shows as the same character, namely The Golden Girls, Empty Nest, The Golden Palace, and Nurses, that she was voted the best looking girl in high school, that she was the first woman to win a Daytime Emmy Award in the category of Outstanding Game Show Host, ironically for the show Just Men, and that she won an Emmy in 1985 for Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series during the first season of The Golden Girls.

Quite an impressive resume (and those are just the highlights)!

To commemorate Betty's special day, I decided to break out the "Who's Your Betty?" tee shirt that the bf got me for Christmas. The best part is the cartoonish Betty White-shaped tag that came with it. The bf confessed that the tee in my size didn't have a tag and that, recognizing the must-have quality of this kitschy piece, he'd been forced to pilfer one from a different tee and craftily reattach it to mine. I'm glad he did, because I made a brooch out of it! Some felt backing, a Gorilla glued pin, and a few coats of Mod Podge were all Betty needed to shine. (I stopped myself from giving her a pair of rhinestone earrings. That would have been crossing the line over into the cheesy) Here I fastened it to a couple of necklaces.

Betty, I know you'll never read this blog, but at the risk of sounding silly, I hope you're having a fantastic birthday and that you're out there enjoying some cheesecake (or regular cake, it doesn't matter, really), Golden Girls style.