Extension Invention: One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Hue Fish

Bag: Royal Monk, Modcloth

Barrettes: SHEIN

Yellow, orange, and red bangles: B Fabulous; Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney; Royal blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Frosted blue bangle: Burlington Coat Factory; Metallic mint bracelet: H&M; Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

Dress: Wild Fable, Target

Shoes: Petite Jolie, Dolls Kill

Island Idle Necklace

Tank: So, Kohl's

Clip: Wild Fable, Target

Belt: Apostrophe, Sears

Bag: B&B, Ocean City; Sunglasses: Michaels; Bracelets: So, Kohl's; Chunky ring: Claire's; Parrot ring: Francesca's; Braided bracelet: Amrita Singh, Zulily; Necklaces: The Tote Trove

Dress: L'Amore by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Outer Banks Pranks Necklace

Shoes: Steve Madden, Macy's

Barrettes: Wild Fable, Target

Jacket: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Skirt: So, Kohl's

Flower clips: Capelli, ULTA; Bag: Amazon; Rhinestone ring: Express; Scroll and star bangles: B Fabulous; Royal blue bangle: So, Kohl's; Sunglasses: Amazon

Top: SHEIN

Shoes: Naughty Monkey, Zulily

Sandals: Katy Perry Collection

Lucky Hue Necklace

Shoes: Aldo, Macy's

Fruit Fountain Necklace

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target; Bag: Delia's; Ring: Making Waves, Ocean City; Barrette: The Tote Trove; Red bangle: B Fabulous; Yellow bangle: Silver Lining, Ocean City; Beaded bracelets: So, Kohl's

Top: Candie's

Skirt: Wild Fable, Target

Sandals: Katy Perry Collection

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Zulily

Barrette: The Tote Trove; Sunglasses: So, Kohl's

Folksy Fruit Necklace

Dress: Derek Heart, Marshalls

When I saw the husband's brand-new, neon yellow extension cord in our backyard, I knew that it would be a prime picture prop.  And the day I wore my fish-print, L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney dress was as good a time as any to use it.  L'Amour isn't even a thing anymore (well, the brand; love never goes out of fashion, ha ha), which gives you an idea how long I've had this aquatic frock and twinning jacket.  Anyway, I was excited to wear it (the dress, not the jacket; it was an oven out there!) to the post office.  They know me and are used to my getups, but the clerk who processed my package looked more amused than usual.  Staring at my illustrated mailer, she once asked if I was an artist, and I said, "I like to think so."  That seemed to amuse her too.  She'd bust a gut if I told her about the extension cord.

Speaking of which, it was the husband's idea to tie it around my waist while I struck a superhero pose.  I'd been content to stand demurely while it circled me on the ground.  But that's one of the things I love about him.  

He's never afraid to go there.

Clean Food, Cool Dude: Inside Voices, Please

Enchanted Eats Necklace

Tee: Macy's

Skirt: POPSUGAR, Kohl's

Shoes: Cape Robbin, Ami Clubwear 

Bag: Betsey Johnson, gifted

Sunglasses: Michaels

Red Belt: Tahari, Macy's Backstage

White Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Barrette: The Tote Trove

The coronavirus quarantine might have slowed the globe down.  But that doesn't mean we're not still moving.  Still life?  More like chill life -- if this wayfarer-wearing pineapple has anything to say about it!  And he does.  Most notably, pass the sunscreen and salsa.

This too-cool-for-school tee is another member of my super elite, never-worn-it-in-real-life club.  I ordered it from Macy's a while back, along with the one that says Fanta.  I can see myself rocking it with a hoodie and sweatpants while I slather my Fage with Softsoap.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a lot of emails from stores pushing the whole "look hot at home" angle.  As in, don't stop buying our products just because the world is on lockdown.  And I think, well, I'm one of those people who dresses up all the time, but even I don't wear heels to do dishes.

I am getting a new perspective on clothes and the role they play in my life, though.  For example, it's weird how they can both expose and protect, kind of like a Madonna cone bra.  Or, for the non-icons among us, something as seemingly simple as a day-glo pink sweater.  The color exposes me/you as someone who's out there, but it protects me/you from others, too.  As in, don't-mess-with-this-mama, she's out there; leave her be with her out-there thoughts.   

In other words, like Colbert and those snarky sweatshirts, I was social distancing before it was cool.

Here's hoping that you go the distance too, whatever it means, whatever you do.

And also, in these days of isolation, that you don't morph into Dr. Seuss.

Sun Ripe Stripes and Other Hype: Hey, How's it Hanging, New Earrings?

Red/white stripe tee: Hollister, Marshalls
Navy/yellow stripe tee: Merona, Target
Serape stripe cowl neck: Chaps, Kohl's

Flirty Fruit Earrings 

Fiona Fox Earrings

Ice Cream Dream Earrings 

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears . . . so that I may bedazzle them good and proper. (Because it doesn't get much more proper than Shakespeare, despite what you might've heard.)  That's right; I've made a fresh batch of bo danglers, one to represent each Tote Trove kitsch kingdom: Carnival Candy, Rustic Romance, and Twee Party.  Each pair is tiny but mighty -- meaning that it was a challenge for this bigger-is-better-and-gaudy-is-good proponent to keep them dainty.  But far be it from me to contribute to the over-stretched earlobe epidemic.  

Speaking of challenges, it took forever to steam the three striped tops in these pictures.  It was worth it, though, because they turned out nice and smooth instead of more wrinkled than when they started -- which is what usually happens when I'm wielding an iron.  This was especially exciting because -- bonus of bonuses -- it means that I get to wear them.  Tomorrow's supposed to be windy, so I'm looking at you, weird serape-inspired, wannabe-athletic cowl neck.  

There's something trendy yet timeless about a horizon of hip horizonals (also, about the group Vertical Horizon, but that's only because I've been listening to my Now That's What I Call 1990s Pop Alternative Edition CD).  To prove it, here's a list of (some of) the old-school fools who have rocked them:

Jailbirds

Mimes

Sailors

Where's Waldo (one week later, I'm still searching for him)

The Cat in the Hat

Piglet

The Hamburglar (not to be confused with the aforementioned jailbird)

Freddy Krueger (whom I despise but feel honor-bound to include because the husband swears that I sometimes wear his sweater)

Whether nautical or southwestern or a crazy mashup somewhere in between, stripes put the all-American (and all-Parisienne; see mime above) in jeans and jean skirts.  Neither of which are pictured here, but I can spend only so much time steaming.  And screaming.  

Which is my way of saying see you later.  

One Fish, Two Fish, Blue Fish, Blue Fish

 Ocean Potion Necklace

Dress: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney
Jacket: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney
Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's
Bag: Nordstrom
Belts: Izod, Marshalls

 Elephant Escapade Necklace

Blouse: Kohl's

Cardigan: Kohl's

Skirt: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Shoes: Alloy

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

 Beachy Keen Necklace

Blouse: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: BCBG, Macy's

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Belt: JCPenney

 Retro Remix Necklace

Blouse: Delia's

Skirt: Xhilaration, Target

Shoes: Nine West, DSW

Bag: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Scarf: Marshalls

Jacket: XOXO, Macy's

Fabulous Felt Folksy Flowers Necklace

Dress: Marty's, Ocean City

Turtleneck: Gap

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Nordstrom

Yellow/white scarf: A.C. Moore

Red/white scarf: Wet Seal

Echoing the eccentric spirit of Seuss himself, this week's outfits capitalize on a fresh kind of crazy.  Skirts in subzero temperatures are just the tip of the iceberg.  We also have a healthy helping of hot weather motifs, as presented by the nautically nuanced cross section of Nanette Lepore's feted (if only by me) L'Amour line for JCPenney.  I had first seen the "fish suit" of the opening outfit (ideal for aquarium attendants and marine enthusiasts alike!) on a clearance rack well before Christmas.  But I waited to make my move until after the holidays, all the while fearing that when I finally got around to my just-for-me shopping spree the treasured garments would be lighting up some other clotheshorse's closet.  Yet, I need not have worried.  I was greeted by a whole rackful of the silky sapphire (not to mention even more deeply discounted) separates upon bustling into JCP one otherwise bleak afternoon.  (Apparently, no one had been as anxious as I was to don a deep blue sea something in the dead of winter.)  

So, am I actually going to wear the dress and jacket together?  The jury is still out on that one.  I realize that they're (probably - because one can never be sure when it comes to fashion) not supposed to be a set.  Although the L'Amour line is crammed with pieces so matchy-matchy that they rival Garanimals, I think its aesthetic is meant to be more about options than one-to-one correlations.  For example, I also have a pair of skinny jeans (posted here a few weeks ago) and a button-down mullet-style blouse in the same kaleidoscope gemstone print.  Upon opening them on Christmas morning, one of my loved ones commented that to wear them together was to enter Howard Wolowitz territory.  Oh, I don't know, I objected, maybe with the right belt . . .   But in the end, that was a catwalk I never traveled.  I wore the jeans with a solid yellow top and the top with solid yellow jeans, and that was that.      

And they say that canary's for cowards.