I was getting into my car to drive to my parents' to drive to my sister's for Father's Day when my mom called. "Wear warm clothes," she warned. "We're taking the Mustang." A couple of years ago, my dad finally bought his dream car, a gently used, painstakingly maintained Mustang convertible, and he drives it every chance he gets.
Monday, June 20, 2022
The Mustang Gang: Father Knows Jest
Monday, July 5, 2021
Fourth of July Pie: Pastry in the USA
Last night, my Fourth of July post was rudely foiled by an internet outage. I blame the two-hour blitz of fireworks in my neighborhood. They were so loud I thought I was in a war zone; surely, they were fearsome enough to interfere with a tower. So, I rode out the night the way they would've in 1776, without TV and internet and only, as the husband reminded me mid-rant, the comfort of half a dozen blazing lamps and a steady supply of refrigerated limeade. I think he was not-so-secretly happy about the outage because it meant that our Documentary Now! marathon was cut short. I can't say that I blame him.
Anyway, this is what I would've written if fate and firearms (some of those fireworks sounded like guns) hadn't intervened:
America, you're another year older. Hopefully, you're also a little bit wiser. But even if you're not, I celebrate you with desserts both in felt and cold, hard custard (or at least I would've if the lady at Rita's had heard me say gelati instead of just cotton candy [water ice]).
Because everyone deserves a birthday treat. Even if that treat can't be pie despite what this post title says. There is, however, birthday cake and ice cream. And I think that that more than makes up for the lack of lattice-topped, sugared fruit.
One thing's for sure. America, pie or not, wiser or not, at least you look better than you did back when you wore that powdered wig.
P.S. Bill Hader and Fred Armisen, I apologize about that Documentary Now! comment. I did enjoy seeing you in your Grey Gardens getups, and although he denies it, the husband did too. Please don't murder us in your basement.
P.P.S. The husband discovered that the internet outage was not the result of fireworks gone terribly wrong, but of a dead outlet in, yes, our own basement. So now I have to apologize to the fireworks too. As well as give in to my compulsion to say that 1) all awfulness leads back to the basement and 2) the call was coming from inside the house.
So, I hope that you don't have a basement. But that you did have a happy, hassle-free, treat-filled Fourth!