Showing posts with label Bea Arthur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bea Arthur. Show all posts

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Mugs on Mugs: Starting the Day the Golden Girls Way


Forget having a cup of Joe.  How about having a cup with Blanche and Dorothy?  Bea-cause that's what's on the breakfast table with these Golden Girls mugs I got for Christmas.  (Even if they're in my craft room instead of kitchen.  Me sully Rue or Bea with tea?  Never!)  Cute and colorful, they're a Miami devotee's dream.  But I especially love how they broadcast each Girl's philosophy:  

Blanche: (on the inside, so as not to take up real estate better spent on her face): "Day after day, I just get more fabulous!"  

Dorothy: (in all caps) "No, I will not have a nice day."

We all know that Blanche is her own biggest fan and that no one bosses Dorothy -- not even the Ticketmaster rep who trills "have a nice day" after saying that the Sinatra show is sold out.  These ladies are a (sorry not sorry) strong cup of coffee -- and that's why we love them!  Blanche oozes glamour; Dorothy corrects your grammar.  Yet they have one thing in common: they're not to be messed with.           

Try it and you just might end up in jail -- or, even worse, Shady Pines.

Saturday, August 14, 2021

Shady Ladies: Slumber Party With Sophia and Dorothy

Tonight we say hey to Florida's finest.  And no, I don't mean Miami Vice.  I mean Dorothy and Sophia! (Although I wouldn't want to meet Dorothy in a dark alley.)  These golden girls boast one of TV's most beloved and complicated mother-daughter relationships.  Sophia's ornery antics and Dorothy's no-nonsense demeanor highlight all the tension and laughs that would inevitably erupt between a mama bear and her grown-up cub spending their golden years under one roof.  (And yes, if your ears are tingling, then it's because "Mama Bear" is Dorothy's odious ex Stan's pet name for her.)  Sophia skewers Dorothy for her nonexistent love life, and Dorothy regularly threatens to send Sophia back to nursing home from hell Shady Pines.  Yet despite all their issues, these two share a quick wit, a disdain for Stan (except for those occasions when Dorothy falls off the anti-Stan wagon), and a bond that can never be broken.  

So, I was as happy as a Miami Dolphin (I know nothing of sports, but dolphins are cheerful, yes?) when my sister presented me with this pair of Dorothy and Sophia-themed pajamas for no other reason than that she found them on clearance at Macy's.  I especially love how Dorothy is characteristically angry, her disapproving mug presiding over her ominous catchphrase, a.k.a. the only thing that could shut Sophia up: "Shady Pines, Ma, Shady Pines."  

The pjs are as comfy cozy as The Golden Girls itself, and I expect them to go through as many wash cycles as my TV goes through reruns.

So, Dorothy and Sophia.  Sophia and Dorothy.  So shady.  Such ladies.  

May they and all of their fans have sweet dreams -- and even sweeter cheesecake.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Golden Girl Swirl and Three Cheers for Cheesecake



Key to Kawaii Necklace

Dress: Modcloth
Top: Bongo, Sears
Shoes: Payless
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Belt: Candie's, Kohl's
Sunglasses: Michaels



Sun, Moon, and Stars Necklace

Tee: Alloy
Blouse: Decree, JCPenney
Skirt: Bongo, Sears
Shoes: City Streets, JCPenney
Bag: Gap
Sunglasses: JCPenney



Oval Office Intern Necklace

Dress: Eric and Lani, Macy's
Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's
Shoes: Payless
Bag: Journeys
Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's
Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

All that glitters may not be gold, but then gold's not all it's cracked up to be.  Which seems like just the right position to take as a jewelry crafter who deals mostly in plastic.  Indeed, this week's necklaces are flawlessly flashy, illuminated by faux gold metal and oodles of sparkly rhinestones -- well, that and the inner light of their own spunky spirit.  More sedate than my usual stuff yet still respectably sassy, I like to think that they appeal to accessory enthusiasts of all ages.  Which is to say that good time Golden Girl Blanche would probably be game to don the Oval Office Intern Necklace (even if just for the name), and girly Golden Girl Rose would be right at home in the Key to Kawaii or Sun, Moon, and Stars necklaces.  Which, I realize, leaves nothing for no-nonsense Dorothy.  But then, she was never one for frivolity -- not that she had any room for it anyway, what with those ginormous cowl necks she often wore.  Still, frumpy or not, she was one funny lady.  They all were (you too, Mama Sophia), trading life lessons, anecdotes, and yes, sometimes even insults over that panacea of pastries, the cheesecake.  The decadent dessert seemed to magically emerge from an ever-present pink bakery box whenever the quartet was at some kind of crossroads, its creamy rich goodness mending broken hearts, soothing bruised egos, and resolving petty differences, often to the tune of a St. Olaf story.  


Never once during these binges did anyone utter a word about heart disease. Well, except for when Blanche's whippersnapper of a grandson said that he didn't want to sit around listening to their arteries harden. I don't have to tell you that he was punished when don't-mess-with-me-Dorothy swiftly brought down the hammer. As for Rose, she administered her own brand of vigilante justice in the form of a BLT with a chocolate cake chaser. Whose arteries are hardening now, whippersnapper?

Sunday, November 1, 2015

One Tale, Four Legs: Zoo Story. Also, Some Words from a Would-be Zookeeper



 Chocolate Candy Heart Necklace

Cardigan: Modcloth
Dress: Wet Seal
Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney
Bag: Marshalls
Sunglasses: Michaels




Top: Maison Jules, Macy's
Jeans: City Streets, JCPenney
Shoes: Payless
Bag: Candies, Kohl's
Jacket: XOXO
Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's



Rainbow Heart Necklace

Tee: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney
Skirt: Modcloth
Shoes: Betseyville, Macy's
Bag: Gifted
Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's



Oh, Deer Necklace

Dress: Xhilaration, Target
Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy
Bag: Gifted
Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

Mostly, this post is about horses.  I've always had a soft spot for the hooved ones, at least thematically speaking.  There was that time, after all, that I posted that picture of my horse planner along with a blurb about the cartoon "Horseland," a tack that I reprise now with a new (although not improved if its disclaimer is any indication) 2016-2017 planner purchased at that mecca of miscellany, the dollar store.      



This is the disclaimer in case you can't read it: "While we have made every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information in this calendar, we cannot be held liable for any errors, omissions, or inconsistencies."  I think we now know how this piece of merch ended up at the dollar store.  Clearly, it's a case of style over substance.  But then again, confirming if Christmas falls on a Saturday seems irrelevant when you look at that cover stud prance!  

That having been said, there's a good deal of giddyup in this week's ensembles.  There are two horses (one in a necklace and a bunch of little printed ones in the dress, which I count as one), one unicorn (on the tee shirt), one deer (in a necklace) and two seahorses (in the cardigan).  I felt the need to explain this lest anyone is thinking, "Hey, what are those seahorses doing in there?"  Not that I wouldn't be above retorting, "You've heard of Chicken of the Sea?  Well, these two are his equine associates."  Like I said, it's the horses that are the thing.

Horses are a real paradox, running the gamut from gross to glamorous.  They're gross because they're smelly (which is why, incidentally, I like them only thematically), and they're glamorous because they traditionally transport royalty, although, in these modern times mostly plain old rich people, and even then only when they're playing polo.  It's puzzling how much elegant equestrian accessories are out there considering the popularity of terms like "horsey" and its more mean-spirited cousin "horse-faced."  Who could forget those busy, once ubiquitous chain and bridle prints of the late 1980s and early 1990s galloping across blouses, jackets, and scarves in faux aristocratic jewel tones?  I can't laugh too much, though, as I sported it too, in big, floppy bow form, no less.

On that note, I'm going to make what may be my most awkward and least seamless of segues to date.  Which is my way of saying that it's time to talk about Betty White's audiobook If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won't).  Now, this was my first audiobook.  Because I'm an old school book kind of girl who doesn't spend a ton of time in the car.  But this audiobook was passed on to me because Ms. White is one of my all-time favorite famous people.  Beloved actress, animal activist (there's our tie-in!), and all-around delight, Betty has penned (and narrated!) one of the most uplifting, down-to-earth, and inspiring books that I've come across in a long time.  She is so genuine and modest and dare I say silly that she doesn't even seem like a celebrity.  And she was eighty-nine when she wrote this book!  That, to me, is the most incredible part.  She talks about stage fright, health issues, and loss but still manages to be upbeat and optimistic, proving that life does go on and that laughter is the best medicine and all those other cliches that we think we're too cool to live by but secretly love.  With an outlook like that, it's no wonder that she's lived so long, not to mention still acting, writing, and saving the whales!  Speaking of which, Betty hates computers and writes all of her books longhand.  She says that her thoughts need to flow through her fingers and pen onto the paper.  Also, that this was the way John Steinbeck, who was a friend of hers, wrote all of his novels and that "if it's good enough for Steinbeck, then it's good enough for me."  I happen to agree with Betty (and Steinbeck) about the longhand writing thing.  Although it's blasphemy for a blogger to say so, I write every one of these posts on paper before transferring them to the computer.  Betty says that writing is her favorite thing to do.  Also, that she wanted to be a zookeeper or a forest ranger when she was a kid but that those weren't careers for girls.  Years later the National Forest Association made her an honorary park ranger.

Another thing I love about Betty is her ability to be funny without being mean.  She's just such a lady.  And yet not at all uptight (and I have the Who's Your Betty? tee shirt to prove it).  Also, she has principles.  She turned down a role in As Good as It Gets because she was morally opposed to that scene in which the dog is tossed down a laundry chute.  How could you not love a woman of such integrity?  Rose, Betty's "Golden Girls" alter ego, had a lot of integrity, too.  She was simple and pure and endearing, which was what made her so great.  Of course, I also liked Bea Arthur's Dorothy, on account of her cutting wit, even if she was kind of bitter and wore more than her fair share of cowl necks.  Rose rocked pastel dresses and embroidered sweaters, some of which featured our four-legged friends.  Or maybe they were our feathered friends.  But you know what I mean.  

Either way, that's what I call horse power.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

And Then There's Mod





Dress: Modcloth
Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Belt: Wet Seal
Jacket: Material Girl, Macy's



 Lasting Lemons Necklace

Dress: Modcloth
Shoes: Charles Albert, Alloy
Bag: Nordstrom



 Serious Sparkler Necklace

Dress: L'Amour by Nanette Lepore for JCPenney
Blouse: Candie's, Kohl's
Boots: Impo, Marshalls
Bag: DSW

If I had the wherewithal and bandwidth-burgling bravado of a more brazen blogger, then I would've arranged for Bea Arthur's head to pop up at the end of that post title.  Not that I ever watched "Maude," "The Golden Girls" being the only sitcom of my acquaintance in the Bea Arthur canon.  But I do appreciate its sentiment, so celebrated-slash-satirized by that "Family Guy" ditty poking fun at its long intro jingle:

"Lady Godiva was a freedom rider
She didn't care if the whole world looked
Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her
She was a sister who really cooked
Madame Curie was a strong woman character
Workin' all day in a science lab, yeah
Clara Barton was a famous nurse 
Who was rapping with the soldiers and bandages too
Susan B. Anthony, always out doin' stuff
Marchin' around and holdin' up signs . . .

Peter: And then there's Maude.

Pocahontas had it all goin' on . . .

Peter: What the hell?

An Indian guide with lots of Indian pride, Indira Ghandi ran a whole big country; that isn't easy even if you're a guy . . .

Peter: And then there's Maude?

Babe Zaharias was a really good athlete . . .

Peter: Aw, come on!

Good at track and field and professional golf, too

Peter: And then there's Maude!

Amelia Earhart flew a lot of airplanes except for that one time when she didn't come back
Cleopatra lived way out in the desert

Peter: And then there's Maude!  Come on!

But still found a way to keep herself looking fine
And then there's Maude

Peter: Ahh!  Ahh!  There we go!  That was an ordeal."

I like to think that the fiercely feminine and intrepidly indie online retailer Modcloth would sing along, too.  But then again, given the song's slightly anti-feminist bent (because who can tell what that rascal Seth MacFarlane is really thinking?), perhaps not.  At any rate, this post features a trio of Mod's most marvelous (and let's be honest, cheapest) pieces, set off, of course, by the sass and quirk of our treasured Trove trinkets.

And if that wasn't enough of an oddball overload, here's a shot of my Stila eyeshadow compact, which gives an ever-so-subtle (if peacock-painted) nod to the aforementioned Earhart:



That tiny, hard-to-read white writing just below the mirror says:

"Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.  - Amelia Earhart"

Soaring style, Stila, soaring style indeed.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Book Report: Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler


A few weeks ago I was wandering through one of those Atlantic bookstores when I stumbled upon Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler. I don't usually go for celebrity memoirs (I read novels almost exclusively) but always enjoyed Chelsea's column in Cosmopolitan and decided to give it a try. For the most part, it turned out to be just the sort of irreverent, light fare for which I'd been searching, with the exception of a chapter entitled "Prison Break" in which Chelsea describes the night she spent in a women's penitentiary. (She got picked up for drunk driving at twenty-one and was then discovered to be on some wanted list for using her older sister's driver's license to get into bars. Chilling stuff.)

For me, one of the highlights (naturally) was when Chelsea reveals herself to be a Golden Girls fan on page 34:

"About an hour later the phone rang right in the middle of a brand-new episode of The Golden Girls.  My favorite character was Bea Arthur (Dorothy). I've always felt we had similar senses of humor, although I imaged myself having a better body when I hit seventy, not to mention highlights."

On the whole, the book is fun, raunchy, and sometimes a little disturbing. But it was a good ride, and I'll probably end up reading the two others she has out. For now I've dipped back into my chick lit comfort zone with some Sophie Kinsella. Well, to be more accurate some Madeline Wickham (that was Sophie's pen name before she hit it big with the Shopaholic series). More on that once I finish.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

TV Tidbits


I didn't have a relevant photo for this post, so I snapped a shot of this adorable Ugly Doll my mom got me. Speaking of Mom, she recently told me she read my blog and "laughed out loud." I'm going to take that as a compliment. On to the tidbits.

Last week the bf was watching the History Channel, as he often does, while I was making jewelry. I am not a fan of the History Channel. Or of the Science Channel. Or the Learning Channel. Or the Discovery Channel. I'm a woman who needs a nice piece of fiction to sink her teeth into, whether it be in the form of a sitcom rerun or a movie. Anyway, on this particular night, the History Channel was running a bio on Albert Einstein. Not being the scientific type, I found the bulk of it boring. However, I did find out that he got his start working in the patent office, an albeit boring occupation, but one that provided him with ample time to daydream about his soon-to-be famous theories. I also learned that he left wife and sons -- she was also a scientist -- to shack up with his first cousin, who was described as "not an intellectual," and "a woman who enjoyed preparing large meals." Humph. I enjoy a good meal as much as the next person, but come on. I lost a little respect for old Albert there.

To completely switch gears, you probably haven't heard about the new sitcom Hot in Cleveland. It's on TVland at 10:00 EST Wednesday nights. But I got hooked because the cast included Betty White. She plays the crotchety, says-whatever-she's-thinking caretaker of a house being rented by three LA transplants, played by Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves (Daphne from Frasier), and Wendie Malick (Nina from Just Shoot Me). The show itself is mildly entertaining; it's your typical story of middle-aged single women trying to find love (although I do enjoy the always kitschy Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing" featured in the commercials). But what's really interesting to me is the character dynamics. With every show I watch, I break the characters down into basic types. In Hot in Cleveland, Bertinelli's character is the optimist, Leeves' character is the cynic, Malick's character is the glamour girl, and White is the viper-tongued old lady. Of course, I couldn't help but compare them to The Golden Girls gang. In that case, White (Rose) was the optimist, Dorothy (Bea Arthur) was the cynic, Blanche (Rue McClanahan) was the glamour girl, and Sophia (Estelle Getty) was the viper-tongued old lady. So, thirty-odd years later, Rose has morphed into Sophia. But then again, if we live long enough, then I suppose we all do. Anyway, if you're a Betty White fan, then Hot in Cleveland is worth your thirty minutes.