Chicken, Cheese, and a Handful of Zzzzzzzzzzzs: Fighting for a Bite of Bob's Burgers

When I heard that The Bob's Burgers Movie was coming to theaters this Memorial Day, I almost broke my pandemic-induced, going-to-the-movies boycott.  Because I do like to see stuff on the big screen, and this just happened to be that unicorn of a movie that hooked both the husband and me.  The wacky misadventures of the struggling, burger-joint-owning Belchers crack us up every Sunday (his favorite character is big cheese Bob; mine is awkward oldest kid Tina).  

We love the offbeat jokes and burger puns (so much so that one Christmas my sister gave us this Bob's Burgers cookbook), and the husband is spot on when it comes to figuring out the names of the guest voice actors.  So, braving the masses to get our buns into those seats seemed worth it.  Nevertheless, I ended up chickening out (and probably, as is usually the case, eating chicken).  But that was okay.  Because The Bob's Burgers Movie started streaming on Hulu this weekend!  The husband and I settled in front of the TV with, not burgers or even chicken, but pizza and got ready to laugh.

So, how was the feature film version of America's favorite carnivorous cartoon?  Well, it's hard to say because for most of it I was asleep!  It was more my fault than Bob's -- Friday nights, after working all week, I usually curl up and collapse.  But the parts I did see seemed less hilarious than the thirty-minute shows we enjoyed.  The husband said that he felt the same, and he stayed awake the whole time.  

Still, maybe I'll give it another try.  On a Sunday.  And with a cheeseburger.     

Clothes Crush: I'm Berry Excited it's Spring

Spring was made for Kawaii and Lolita and all of their strawberry sisters.  And although it's been spring for a few weeks now, it's finally starting to feel like this sweetest of seasons.  So, I've rounded up a trio of treacly pastel outfits in celebration.  One of the best things about whisper-soft shades?  They're a great backdrop for accessories that are -- yes -- a scream.

Now, this is the part where I talk about my clothes like I'm selling them.  Or like they're my friends. Which is weird in one way (because who sells her friends?) but not in another because 1) people sometimes email me to ask if the clothes are for sale (they're not), and 2) on a recent episode of "Bob's Burgers," Linda said, "The other day I took Gene to the mall to visit one of his favorite outfits."  I thought that was funny.  But also kind of sad.

That said, let's drown Gene's sorrows in Celestial Seasonings and get this tea party started.

Contestant (because somehow this has turned into a beauty pageant on top of all the other stuff going on)-slash-Confidante #1: Boardwalk Betty

Betty is confection perfection.  Her butterfly-sleeved blouse all but says boardwalk.  Also, saltwater taffy.  Which is more summer than spring, but then what's spring if not summer junior?  And her purse is -- oh my, a seashell!  The judges are, ahem, shore impressed.

Speaking of celebrations (as we were a few paragraphs ago), I went to a bridal shower on Saturday and ended up wrapping the gift in paper that kind of looks like this top.  Which is something I just felt like saying.  It has no bearing on the pageant proceedings and is in no way (wink, wink) a bribe.

Blossom Bow Barrette

Horn Between Two Roses Necklace

Top: Love Fire, Kohl's

Jeans: Mudd, Kohl's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Modcloth

Bag: Sugar Thrillz, Dolls Kill

Fuchsia bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney

Lilac bangle: Don't Ask, Zulily

Ring: Delia's

Surprise! It's a salad spinner.

Contestant/Confidante #2: Strawberry Sophie

Soph keeps the boardwalk theme fresh in a strawberry sweatshirt that's cozy for when the boards get chilly.  Also, this shirt's marshmallow shape and creamy shade is like a strawberry sundae.  Dairy Queen, you are my dream.  But not really because you sell soft serve, and I'm into custard.

Dairy Queen insisted that I say it's not a sponsor of this program.  I asked them, but they said "hard pass," then escorted me out, my wrists shackled with a daisy chain of day-old onion rings.

Busy Bee Choker 

Sweatshirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Jeans: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Charles Albert, A.C. Moore

Bag: Macy's Backstage

Strawberry print, yellow, and grass green bangles: B Fabulous

Flower bangle: Mixit, JCPenney

Celadon bangle: Burlington Coat Factory

Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney

Red bangle: XOXO, ROSS 

Thin red bangle: Candie's, Kohl's

Contestant/Confidante #3: Strawberry Susan

And last but not least, Susie charms in a sock hop-happy blush frock, reigning as the sole skirted contender.  But does this fresh-faced '50s flirt have what it takes to claim the crown?  When your spirit animal is a strawberry caramel, then there isn't a Brussels sprout in the world that can stop you.

 

Brianna Bug Necklace

Dress: Three Hearts, Kohl's

Shoes: Chase & Chloe, Zulily

Bag: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Belt: Izod, Marshalls

Scarf: Wet Seal

Alright, that brings us to the last leg of this dance-off.  And it was a doozy.  You smiled, you twirled, and one of you was almost sucked down into the cotton candy machine.  But we have a winner, and it is . . . Boardwalk Betty!  Bets, you've got candy stripes and lemon drop shoes and, most importantly, a unicorn.  So step right up to accept your bouquet, which comes in the form of this potted amaryllis.

I hope you lift weights because this thing is heavy.  It's been going gangbusters in the rain forest room since winter.  That's what we call our spare room here at Tote Trove central.  Not to be confused with the cactus room, where all of the plants are southwestern and fake.  No, RR is alive and honored to be part of the pageant prize circuit.  So treasure this amaryllis always, or at least until it retires to that big compost heap in the sky.  Because that's all we've got to give you.  DQ was supposed to donate the crown.

Better luck next time, berry babies.

Climbing the Walls With Jericho, a Bear, and a Beetle

Unicorn University Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's

Belt: Kohl's

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's 

Wild Wagon Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Material Girl, Macy's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: Nordstrom

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

Bear Flare Necklace

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Belt: Kohl's

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

I'm kicking off this week's post with a look back at last week's episode of Bob's Burgers (just think of me as the John Oliver of cartoons).  It was about Tina, my favorite Belcher, and her obsession with her imaginary horse, Jericho.  Although not a unicorn (unlike the Unicorn University Necklace shown here, so named in the spirit of upwardly mobile and intellectual equines), Jericho wields his own special magic, his powers of the impossible far more ambitious than those filtered through any mere horn.  Because who needs that useless appendage when you've got the pipes of nice guy dreamboat Paul Rudd?  That's right, Ant Man himself voices Tina's beloved and completely unreal black stallion.  (Is it any wonder that she's besotted?)  In this far-fetched and quirky fairy tale of a Burgers installment, bookworm Tina channels Beauty and the Beast's Belle's bewitching blend of "strange but special" more strongly than ever.  You know, if Belle wore glasses and had the voice of a middle-aged man.  That said, Tina is so entrenched in her fantasy that she convinces dad Bob to enroll her in a local horse camp.  (Come to think of it, Bob is a little like Belle's father, Maurice.  Bob's a kindly if unsuccessful and somewhat ridiculed creator of weird burgers; Maurice is a kindly if unsuccessful and most definitely ridiculed creator of inventions.  Oh, Bob's Burgers writers, is there no end to your Beast parallels?).  The camp is a step down from the exclusive sleep-away version of Tina's dreams, but true to her sweet, grateful nature, she gallops off on the first day all smiles.  Yet as is so often the case with high expectations, the camp proves to be riddled with rules and realities that render it far less fanciful than her Jericho-headlined dreamworld.  To add insult to injury, she's assigned a steed so clumsy and smelly that she comes close to quitting.  Instead, she perseveres in true Tina fashion, entering the ring with, not Old Stinky, but the gentlemanly -- and very invisible -- Jericho.  Laughter - and a poignant lesson - ensue.        

Personally, I don't know what's with girls and horses.  I was never enamored with them, despite (or perhaps because of) having attended horse camp as a preteen.  My sister and I used to walk down the seemingly endless dirt road from the regular camp to the stables, dreaming of greener pastures lousy with horses that sounded, not like Paul Rudd (Clueless still being a figment of  Hollywood's imagination), but Luke Perry or Jonathan Taylor Thomas or whoever the big heartthrob was then.  Take it from me, there's nothing enchanting about manure in August.

Before I hit the dusty trail, here's a shot of a recently repainted Brigantine carwash.  Which doesn't, I realize, have anything to do with horses.  Unless you count that modern horse otherwise known as the car.  Its bright colors all but belt out Tote Trove, and the VW Beetle of the Wild Wagon Necklace fits right in with its punky palette.  

On that note, coming soon: surf shops for unicorns.   

Sitcoms Say it with Silly: Flagging Down Life's Lessons in the Fast Food Lane

 Fabulous Felt Flags Barrette

Tee: Merona, Target

Skirt: Merona, Target

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Target

Fabulous Felt Cheeseburger Barrette

Tee: Hollister, Marshalls

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Macy's

Belt: Marshalls

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Fabulous Felt Sailboat Barrette

Red blouse: Lily White, Alloy

Lilac blouse: Self Esteem, JCPenney

Skirt: Byer, JCPenney

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Xhilaration, Target

Sunglasses: Michaels

We can learn a lot from watching comedies, especially sitcoms.  Even Judd Apatow says so in his book Sick in the Head: Conversations about Life and Comedy: 

". . . most comedies  -- even if it's a Jerry Lewis movie -- start with an incredibly immature person who needs to learn a lesson." (23)  

Although Apatow is talking about full-length features, each sitcom series episode holds its own power as a microcosm of its main characters' struggles.  At the end of the half hour, the heroes and heroines have triumphed over that week's challenge, however unbelievable and zany, only to be plunged headlong into another comedic conundrum the next week.  But that's how they grow.  Just like we do.  One of my favorite sitcoms is The Big Bang Theory, and I've always particularly liked Sheldon's Fun with Flags podcast sequence in which he presents erudite facts and anecdotes about, well, flags.  He is, in many ways, at the height of his eccentricity here, unabashedly letting his freak flag fly for the masses.  Until the day, that is, when he decides that balancing his responsibilities as a physicist, boyfriend, and podcast series author are all just too much.  So he posts his last podcast only to get a comment that goes something like this: "Sorry to see it end; I kind of liked it."  The lukewarm sentiment immediately goes to Sheldon's head, inspiring him to resuscitate his barely cold series.  Part of me laughs at him, as I and all viewers are meant to in this (albeit sweet) satire on social networking.  But another part of me knows that I would do the same thing.              

I had a similar reaction to last Sunday's episode of Bob's Burgers.  Bob slips on some oil outside a masseur's shop and injures his shoulder.  At his doctor's urging, he tries to sue the masseur, Jairo.  But Jairo doesn't have any money and offers to heal Bob's shoulder instead.  Part of the healing process is to eliminate stress, and Jairo discovers that the biggest stress in Bob's life is coming up with the burger of the day.  So Bob stops doing it in an effort to embrace his new Zen-like existence.  Although his family and lone loyal customer Teddy miss seeing his latest kooky creation, Bob sticks to his new stress-free lifestyle.  Until wife Linda tricks him with a fake order.  At first he resists, but eventually his instinct to provide stellar customer service wins out, and he has a breakthrough.  Everyone rejoices (even Teddy, who, despite not liking the new burger, is happy to see Bob back in the game).  Everyone, of course, except Jairo.  But Bob doesn't back down, telling him that the stress of creating the burger of the day is worth the creative rush.    

So, what does this have to do with the flag thing?  I guess the lesson in both cases is that creativity is its own reward, no matter what it takes to get it out into the world.  Also, that flags are cool and beef is delicious.    

To that end, my Betsey Johnson burger bag seemed the perfect piece to include in this post.  Mostly because it has "Nice Buns" scrawled across the back, an inflammatory -- no, cheeky -- statement if ever there was one in this brave new gluten-free world.  

Sir Mix-a-Lot, I think, would approve.          

Snake Thighs: The Skin You're in When They're All Out of Pluck

 Sweet Shop Stop Gumball Necklace

Tank: Wet Seal

Cardigan: So, Kohl's

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Penny Loves Kenny, DSW

Bag: Modcloth

Belt: Apt. 9, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Mudd, Kohl's

 Zelda Zebra Necklace

Tee: Arizona Jeans, JCPenney

Skirt: Merona, Target

Shoes: Venus

Bag: Nine West, Marshalls

Belt: Wet Seal

Sunglasses: Michaels

 Lady Lilac Necklace

Tank: Worthington, JCPenney

Dress: Modcloth

Shoes: Chinese Laundry, DSW

Bag: Call it Spring, JCPenney

Sunglasses: JCPenney

This week's post is a little sweet shop meets safari -- or maybe I should say sweet shop on safari.  I can just see a bunch of smiling ice cream sundaes, laughing lollipops, and ecstatic eclairs stuffed into a pink camo Jeep as they make their way through the Serengeti, snapping pics of the lions and zebras and hippos.  The hippos would love it, always being hungry and whatnot.  The hippos and the snakes, that is.

"Huh?  What snakes?" you're probably thinking.  "I thought this was a nice, cartoonish jungle (er, Serengeti), not the cobra-ridden kind on the Discovery channel."  (The bit about the hippos fixing to devour the tourist treats is neither here nor there.  Mostly because that allusion is based on a board game.)  

But snakes, it seems, are everywhere, especially where you least expect them.  For example, I recently discovered that one of my favorite pairs of Hue tights has a subtle snake pattern:

I was somewhat appalled -- I'd thought that the design was some kind of geometric -- because I hate snakes. In general because of their awfulness.  In particular because their slithery, legless bodies give me the creeps.  Gene of Bob's Burgers (which, incidentally, is a cartoon) agrees, setting his fear to song:

"I'm not afraid of ghosts
I'm not afraid of sharks
I'm not afraid of cancer
I'm just afraid of snakes!

They really freak me out
Where are their arms and legs?
It's not okay!"

No, Gene, it's not.  What could the good people at Hue have been thinking?  No woman wants to walk around on a couple of serpents, and "Hey, Lizard Legs!" is hardly a term of endearment.  Maybe it's a badge of badassness?  As in, I beat the skin off this critter and am now rocking it as an accessory.  A leg accessory.  Oh, the irony.

I see what you did there, Hue.