Performance Art Heart: Diffi-Cult Following

Arches and Apples Earrings

If it's weird for me to blog about a show that satirizes crafting on my blog that's mostly about crafting, then if nothing else, at least I'm consistent.  Over the years, I've posted about the Portlandia Etsy spoof, the Whitney Cummings Etsy dig, and my own unwitting star spot on handmade goods roast site Regretsy.  Which is my way of saying that I like laughing at myself and at people who laugh at themselves (and, okay, other people) too.

Enter Difficult People.  This Amy Poehler-produced Hulu original comedy (2015-2017) follows best friend comedians Billy Epstein (Billy Eichner) and Julie Kessler (Julie Klausner) as they snarkily stumble through their mid-thirties and auditions in New York City.  Both are Jewish; only Billy is gay.  It's like a mashup of Seinfeld, Will and Grace, and Curb Your Enthusiasm -- only meaner.  Indeed, in one episode, Billy and Julie describe themselves as a "homelier Will and Grace."  They're the kind of comedians who sacrifice everything (Billy's apartment is a shoebox that he Airbnbs to make extra cash) to claw their way into casting calls even though they -- and we -- know they'll never make it.  Not that that really matters, their dreams -- and the show -- being about the journey.       

Kiwi Cutie Earrings

Billy's day job is waiting tables at a quirky café; Julie's is writing reality show episode recaps.  During court-appointed community service for stealing flowers from an Alice in Wonderland memorial, Julie teaches recap writing to inmates and imparts this pearl: "Show recaps aren't about the show.  They're about you."  I like this, probably because it so closely parallels one of my favorite personal aphorisms: TV is always there for you, but you don't have to be there for (the people inside the) TV.  Romance-wise, Billy is always looking for love -- or at least his next hookup -- and Julie has a live-in boyfriend, the servile and long-suffering Arthur (James Urbaniak), who wears a bowtie and works for PBS.  Impervious to Julie's ingratitude (Where's dinner?!), affable Artie's only crime isn't even his but Urbaniak's, as he played the foot fetish shoe salesman who gave Charlotte a free pair of designer sandals on Sex and the City.  But then again, it's hard to blame Julie for haranguing Artie too much considering her monster mother, Marilyn (Andrea Martin).  Despite being a psychologist, this pint-sized narcissist manipulates Julie into doing her bidding, all while criticizing her appearance, boyfriend, and aspirations.  Of course, Marilyn also gives Julie money.  Because PBS and Real Housewives rants don't pay the bills.  

One of the things that bonds Julie and Billy -- other than their hard-bitten humor and hatred of all and sundry -- is their constant need for attention.  In one episode, Billy is all set to send former Monkee Micky Dolenz packing when the allegedly ailing entertainer begs him to produce his one-man show.  But then Dolenz goes on about how much he admires Billy, and Billy caves: "I have no problem walking away from a dying man, but not a dying fan."  Because that's the thing about this duo (Billy and Julie, not Billy and Micky).  Despite their prickly, don't-mess-with-me personas, their eager-to-please, theater kid self absorption makes them easy prey for any con man with a kind word.

Hearts and Arches Earrings

Nevertheless, at one point, Julie becomes so discouraged by the comedy rat race that she chucks it all to open a shop on Etsy.  Even though she refers to Etsy as a cult. (Yes, finally, the promised crafting connection!)  Her craft?  Wish bags for Midwesterners.  Don't ask me what a wish bag is, because I don't know, and neither does Julie.  But they sell like hotcakes, and Julie discovers that she prefers spending her days surrounded by things instead of people.

Same, Julie, same.

Still, I don't think I need to tell you that this life hack turns out to be as ironclad as those wish bags.  Bitter or not, Julie's got to get back up on that stage.  Because only trouble is interesting, and the show -- or in this case, showbiz -- must go on.

With witty one-liners, a galaxy of guest stars (Tina Fey!  John Mulaney!  Amy Sedaris!), and the kind of misanthropic humor that can thrive only on a sitcom full of eccentric, dysfunctional, and codependent heart, Difficult People is easy to love. 

Book Cook Nook: Bon Appe-treat

I'm living proof that you don't have to like cocktails or cooking to love Amy Sedaris's I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence.  This book came out four years before Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, but somehow I missed it.  I was probably put off by its being a cookbook, which it definitely is.  I know because Sedaris is quick to classify it as such in the Foreword: "This is not a joke cookbook.  I don't like joke cookbooks because I can't take them seriously."  Although it's indeed side-splitting, it includes real recipes too, so, Amy, message received.  Anyway, it's also overflowing with colorful photographs and illustrations as well as zaniness and retro charm.  Also, decorum-be-damned flavor.  I give it an S for salty.

Sedaris goes on to say that she caught the homemaking bug as a child watching cooking shows in North Carolina and hoped to host her own program one day.  Which just goes to show that you lampoon the ones you love.  Or is it you hurt the ones you love?  Or, if you love something, then lampoon it?  Semantics notwithstanding, truTV's At Home with Amy Sedaris (an Emmy winner!) proves that dreams do come true.  Maybe that's because Sedaris isn't afraid to go there or make herself the butt of the joke.

Here are some parts that I especially like in I Like You:

On being an out-of-town guest:

"If you're an out-of-town guest, be classy and find somewhere else to stay.  If you're not classy or you're a family member, here are a few suggestions on how to be a tolerable out-of-town-guest: Don't arrive saying you have chiggers, scabies, ringworm, or lice.  Keep your parasites to yourself.  Don't show up with a pet you need to bury.  Don't dye your hair while you're there.  My mother always said "Don't bother other people."  I think that's good advice." (63-65)

On entertaining the grieving:

" 'We were in the bathtub and I felt a cyst on his good testicle.  I insisted on taking him to the hospital even though he protested, saying it was nothing.  After a thorough exam it turned out he was right, it was nothing.  On the way home he was murdered.'  . . . There is no bigger hospitality challenge than entertaining for the grieving.  They are just so sad. " (122)

On gift giving:

"Giving a gift can express many things -- Congratulations!  Get well soon.  Remember me?  I'm so sorry, it will never happen again.  Happy Secretary's Day!  Happy Graduation.  Happy Birthday.  I didn't mean it, it was the spiced rum talking.  The best presents come from the heart and say something simple: "I like you." " (186)

Sedaris says that she's a better cook than writer (her delightful Foreword strikes again!).  "I can't write good, but I can cook even better and I am willing to share with you my sackful of personal jackpot recipes that, because of their proven success, I continue to make, over and over again."  I know she's kidding.  Still, I called this post Book Cook instead of Cook Book to emphasize that Sedaris is a writer, i.e. someone who "cooked" a book.  Although not in an embezzly way.

So, this spring, treat yourself to a heaping helping of hilarious.  In this time of social distancing, it may not help you entertain others, but it will most definitely help you entertain yourself.  Which is just as well, because in life you're always the guest of honor.   

Don't be coy.  You know you like you.

Cherries and Berries and Mushrooms: A Walk in the Woods With a Fungi

 Fabulous Felt Cheery Cherries Brooch

Fabulous Felt Magic Mushroom Brooch 

Fabulous Felt Sweet Strawberry Brooch

Top: Candie's, Kohl's
Skirt: H&M
Shoes: Ami Clubwear
Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Or perhaps I should say "fun girl."  Because when I see these brooches, I think mushrooms, and when I think mushrooms, I think woods.  And when I think woods, I think The Lady Who Lives in the Woods (also, Smurfs, but this is not about them).  The Lady Who Lives in the Woods is Ruth, a recurring character on truTV's At Home with Amy Sedaris.  Remember Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People?  Well, this is the live action version, complete with guest stars (Stephen Colbert!  Justin Theroux!  Chris Elliot!  Did I mention Steven Colbert?).  To be accurate, the show is more like a dysfunctional marriage between Simple Times and I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, but being a borderline hermit uninterested in entertaining, I never read that one.  Anyway, The-Lady-Who-Lives-in-the-Woods Ruth is a seemingly laidback yet controlling naturalist who lives in a lodge and is always picking passive aggressive fights with her long-suffering, mime-like, live-in girlfriend.  Distinguished by her long, red Earth Mother hair and loden green poncho, Ruth says things like, "Moss -- that's nice" in a soothing yet grating voice that's a cross between Martha Stewart and half of the duo from SNL's "Delicious Dish." (Both of which, fun fact, were played by Ana Gasteyer.  So maybe I'm just saying that Ruth sounds like Ana, in which case, Ana, you're welcome.)  But that's Red -- I mean, Ruth -- for you, bursting the bubble of the myth that the forest is peaceful.  Which is just one of the reasons, I suppose, that she seeks solace in her pet bird, Artemis.  

Anyway, I think Amy would like the brooches.  Because they're weird and retro and could have easily been made by a tree-dwelling seven-year-old.  (No disrespect to tree dwellers.  Or seven-year-olds.)  Also, her show logo is a mushroom.

From one toadstool fool to another, I say: I'm talking to you too, Smurfette. 

Book Report: Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People by Amy Sedaris

You know how people say something's laugh-out-loud funny and you think, oh sure, that's what they all say? Well, Amy Sedaris's Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People really is. I first heard of it when Sedaris was a guest on "The Colbert Report" just before Christmas. (She showed Stephen how to make a stuffed snake out of neckties and dryer lint.) Shortly afterwards, my sister mentioned that she'd seen it also, so I bought her a copy, and then the bf ended up surprising me with one too. I can honestly say that Simple Times is the only coffee table book I've ever been compelled to read cover-to-cover. And I'm glad I did, as doing so made me privy to every zany, irreverent, and outlandish morsel. In fact, I'm so enamored of Sedaris's screwball wit that I'm posting her entire intro to the book here:

"Hello, fellow crafters! What a wonderful opportunity for us to get to know each other, but be forewarned, this will be the only opportunity, because after this introduction, there will be little time for frivolous cordialities. It's going to be all about cutting, gluing, and hammering. So let's take a moment now, shall we? Obviously you know me, my name is stitched on the cover. Still unsure? Perhaps this will help; I am the adorable best-selling author of the thoughtfully hard-hitting tome on hospitality, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. I'm guessing that information has cleared some cobwebs. As for me knowing you, why don't we make things easy, and call you "Twinkles." So, Twinkles, what's all this then about me writing more books when we both know I should be resting on my laurels? Well, after I changed the way the world entertains, I figured why not do the same for crafting?

Crafting, or "making things," has always been a delightful pastime of mine because it requires putting common elements together in order to achieve a lovely something that nobody needs. But is it okay to make things?

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires. But there is one urge that should always be encouraged to blossom -- the creative urge! Yes, it is healthy to want to make things, but that desire without guidance can lead to foreclosure and forest fires. Too often instruction for crafting is gutter-learned. Convoluted half-baked lessons picked up from street corners, back alleys, and scouting. Simple Times will provide crafters with the proper guidance, much like a parole officer. But this book is much more than a supervisor for crafting offenders; hopefully it will also inspire you, helping to spark or trigger new creative thoughts leading to a vast array of hastily constructed obscure d'arts.

Although this book is marketed toward sane, intelligent adults - frankly, that's where the money is - should it fall into the hands of the mentally challenged, it will do them no harm. Conversely, it will speak to them directly, addressing their special needs. For any educated, well-adjusted adult can glue Popsicle sticks together to create a cold plate trivet, but try the same simple task while hampered by a defective brain, and you will understand the full breadth of crafting.

This book includes an infinite* assortment of projects that utilize a wide range of skills and are inspired by many cultures, spanning from a Mexican Knife Sheath to a Mexican Sombrero. But most importantly, these projects will engage everybody: the sane, the not so sane, those hobbled with disabilities, those on the lam - anybody who's looking for a simple, creative way to kill a lot of time. And let's face it, we all have some time that needs to be killed."

*actual number of projects determined by amount of space and author's level of fatigue.

See? I told you. I have to say, though, one thing about this book confused me. I couldn't figure out if Sedaris was trying to motivate crafters by making fun of them, or . . . just making fun of crafters. (Not that I'd blame her if it was the latter; goodness knows we're a weird breed, brimming with quirks to be ridiculed.) It's especially hard to tell because most of the projects aren't the kind that anyone would willingly attempt (mouse ghetto, hobo fire in a can, or crafty candle salad, anyone?). But then, as per usual, I'm probably reading into it all too much . . .