Tan by Your Plan, Beige Against the Machine

Skirt: Bubblegum, Macy's

Flair Change Necklace

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's

Sweatshirt: Pretty Rebel, Macy's

Boots: Jessica Simpson, DSW

Skirt: Lily White, Kohl's

Bag and shoes: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Bow: SHEIN

Top: So, Kohl's

Blue Bow Necklace

Boots: Penny Loves Kenny, Amazon

Emboldened Arches Necklace

Sweater: Jessica Simpson, Amazon

Sometimes I buy clothes that are brown.  Or tan.  Or neutral.  I know, I know.  I'm cuckoo for color, not Cocoa Puffs, so what gives with the granola garb?   Maybe I want all the clothes.  Or maybe I just like a challenge.  The challenge being, how can I make this potato-sack-colored fabric more me (or at the very least, stop exhausting food metaphors)?  In one case, the answer was to craft a necklace from a shoe clip (I'm talking to you, Flair Change).  

Yes, the gilded, frilly doodad of a decorative accent at the center was supposed to snap onto a puzzle piece of a shoe designed for that purpose.  (If you're wondering how I came by such an item, it was a gift.)  Of course, I don't own the corresponding Cinderella slipper and have no way of getting it.  So I thought, why not string the clip, plus some fake coins, into some low-key-but-still-kooky neckwear?      

So I did.

Think of it as the grand marshal of this pale palette parade, Tammy Wynette and Rage Against the Machine fighting from the flashiest float.  

Fate Gate: Written in the Scars

In the midnight hour . . .

At the stroke of midnight . . .

Before midnight . . .

Pop culture is rife with allusions to what happens when night melts to morning.  Billy Idol, Cinderella, Ethan Hawke, and countless others have spun or starred in stories about the mythology of the witching hour.  So I knew that Matt Haig's novel, The Midnight Library, would be, if nothing else, mysterious.  Which is always nice around Halloween.  I heard about it on Ivy's Closet, and I don't take librarians' reading lists lightly.  Billy Idol, not so much.  Although I am a fan of '80s pop rock.  And comic relief.  

Anyway, The Midnight Library is the story of Nora Seed, a multi-talented but depressed thirty-five-year-old caught between life and death in the purgatory of a library -- the Midnight Library.  The librarian is Mrs. Elm, an elderly sage who was Nora's high school librarian.  Mrs. Elm supplies Nora with the Book of Regrets, a tome listing everything she ever wanted to be, including a rock star, an Olympic swimmer, and a philosophy scholar.  Nora picks a regret, then opens the corresponding book to live the life she thinks she missed out on.  Sometimes she stays minutes, other times days.  If it's the right life, then she'll end up staying forever.  But if it isn't, then she'll return to the library to try again.  So, yeah, it's the whole parallel-universe-space-time-continuum-butterfly-effect thing.  Which I could've better explained by saying that Nora works in a music shop called String Theory.  

Nora's journey is fascinating, scary, and sad.  But it's also perplexing.  Because as she test drives more and more destinies, she begins to realize that they're as similar as they are different -- and that she's unsure what it is that will make the right one "right."       

Innovative yet familiar, The Midnight Library elegantly combines the best-loved elements of It's a Wonderful Life, NBC freshman drama Ordinary Joe, and every Choose Your Own Adventure book to deliver a sci-fi-tinged, timeless tale of gratitude and self discovery.  Rich in symbols and nuance, it's also a modern parable about the importance of mental health.  When I reached the last page, I was so engrossed that I didn't want it to end.  Nevertheless, the ending was perfect.  I wouldn't go back in time and/or across universes to change a thing.  

Unlike Billy Idol, who, according to Behind the Music, was caught with the nanny on the baby monitor. 

Storybook Hook: Styling Cinderella

Pink top: Candie's, Kohl's; Navy top: Wet Seal; Wall art: Hobby Lobby; Hooks: Kohl's; Cacti: Five Below

Every story needs a hook.  Unless, of course, the hook is Captain Hook because Peter Pan's a bit of a downer.  Then again, negging on a Disney classic is no way to win friends and influence people.  Or promote jewelry.  

So it's a good thing I have these heart hooks.  They'll hang in my craft room and be a nice home for my new necklaces.  As for the earrings, they're hooks unto themselves -- minus the dismemberment.  

Annie Anchor Earrings

Fruit Flight Necklace

Claire Bear Necklace

Twee Sea Earrings

One fairy tale where I can hang my hat is the Amazon original Cinderella starring Camila Cabello.  A joyfully modern version of the classic, it reimagines the kingdom as a culturally diverse, albeit still economically disparate, universe in which its title heroine is an aspiring fashion designer with moxie and a sense of humor to match.  This Cinderella -- or, rather, Ella -- rejects the idea that peasants -- and women -- should know their place, eventually inspiring those around her to open their minds.  Even her evil stepmother (Idina Menzel), who utters the loathsome line "Every girl is worth more when she smiles," momentarily melts her ice queen armor to reveal her humanity.  But this retelling isn't just about breaking the glass ceiling -- or should I say slipper? Amazon's Cinderella is also just plain fun, exploding with exuberant musical numbers including a tribute to the prince (Nicholas Galitzine) featuring Salt-N-Pepa's "Whatta Man," and costumes so colorful that they eclipse even the digitally remastered incarnation of the 1950 cartoon.  Indeed, Billy Porter, who plays Cinderella's Fabulous Godmother, is miles more stylish than that old biddy in the blue poncho.               

Another thing I like about this version is that Cinderella and the prince really connect instead of meeting for a single, silent dance.  Oh sure, their romance is still speedy (there's only so much bonding that can go on in two hours), but even Ella pokes fun at that.  Most importantly, they talk to each other like people instead of caricatures and discover that they're more alike than different.  

And when it comes to love, that's what every woman -- princess or peasant --wants.  

No wonder Captain Hook was single.

Dental Care Flair: Pearly Whites and Ultra Brights

Sunglasses: Rampage, Boscov's

Shoes: Katy Perry Collection, Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon; Bag: Amerileather, Zulily

Jumper: Derek Heart, Zulily

Bracelets: Top: ZAD, Zuily; Left to right: Mixit, JCPenney; B Fabulous; Mixit, JCPenney

Tee: Marshalls

Fresh Breath Barrette Brooch

Skirts: Amazon

Bag: Zulily

Skirt: Kohl's

Bag: Delia's, Dolls Kill

Ye Olde Pompom Bow Barrette

Top: Forever 21

Bracelets: All Amrita Singh, Zulily except two green ones.  Light green: Cloud Nine, Ocean City; Dark green: Parade of Shoes

 

Shoes: Nine West, Kohl's

This Fresh Breath Barrette Brooch is an homage to the super colorful, striped Aquafresh toothpaste I coveted as a kid.  Even if the dentist visit freebie toothpastes I used to style it are Crest and Pronamel.  I guess the dental community regards Aquafresh about as highly as my mom circa 1987.  

Thankfully, when I'm playing dress up, I've got the full range of the rainbow at my disposal.  So, I broke out tie-dye, plaid, and stripes bold enough to scare the mauve off a hygienist's scrubs.  In particular, the turquoise of my bamboo bag brings back memories of the Sparkle Crest I once so loved and, yes, was allowed to use.  It tasted a little like bubblegum and made my bedtime ritual feel as enchanted as Cinderella's.  Post prince, of course.  When Cindy was still an indentured servant, I imagine that she had gingivitis to rival Godzilla's. 

So, thanks, Mom.  For the Sparkle Crest.  And all the My Favorite Muffins that made it so necessary.     

Fantabulous Fantasia: Cinderella in Sequins

Top: Candies, Kohl's; Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's; Shoes: Katy Perry, Amazon; Bag: Amazon; Socks: Amazon; Sunglasses: Betsey Johnson, Zulily; Mint bangle: Decree, JCPenney; Black bangle: Mixit, JCPenney; Coral bangle: Silver Linings, Ocean City; Pink and purple bangles: Don't Ask, Zulily

Top: TJ Maxx; Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's; Shoes: Jessica Simpson, DSW; Bag: Betsey Johnson, Boscov's; Belt: New York & Company; Pearl necklace: Target; Yellow bangles: B Fabulous; Rest of bracelets and rings: Mixit, JCPenney

Sequins?  Check.  Pastel florals?  Check.  Unicorn?  Check.  It's official, Disney disco, these looks are for you!  Not, as far as I know, that there was ever a unicorn prancing around the Magic Kingdom or Studio 54.  But there should be.  Princesses and party people, you're welcome.

When you think about it, sequins are pretty amazing.  They're basically shiny pieces of trash, yet the easiest way to elevate any outfit to New Year's Eve or happily-ever-after.  Speaking of which, I was lucky enough to snag both of these out-on-the-town tinsely minis on clearance. 

As any shopper worth her change purse knows, glitzy getups go out the window with the last Christmas candle. In other words, post holiday is prime time to stock up on dress-up duds.  That's when I got the silver skirt.  I didn't get the rose one until a few weeks ago, when it was only $7.50.  Mama mia, that's a bargain for a Dancing Queen on a commoner's budget!

Next up, '70s Cinderella in -- polyurethane not glass, because why risk a bloody ankle? -- platforms.  

I can already hear the ABBA/Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo mashup hypnotizing cosplay-clad hipsters.

From the Oregon Trail to a True Fairy Tale: Sweet Stuff for Spilling the Tea

May Berry Charm Necklace

Dress: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Penny Loves Kenny, DSW

Bag: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

Whimsical Watermelon Necklace

Top: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Skirt: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Shoes: Shoe Carnival

Bag: Glamour Damaged, Etsy

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

Bangles: B Fabulous

Cherry charm: Carole, JCPenney

Pompom charm: A.C. Moore

Plate barrette: The Tote Trove

Bow barrette: Carole, JCPenney

Blossom Bunch and Rambling Rose Barrette Brooches

Dress: ELLE, Kohl's

Shoes: Ami Clubwear

Bag: Macy's Backstage

Belt: Belt is Cool, Amazon

Sunglasses: Wild Fable, Target

When this floral, prairie-style, LC Lauren Conrad dress arrived from Kohl's, I was as excited as a pioneer saddling up on a Saturday to stock up on sarsaparilla at the general store.  Still, something was missing, and when I noticed the ladders climbing the dress's bodice and hem, I knew what it was.  Ribbon!  Luckily, I just happened to have roll upon roll of it in the perfect shade of scarlet satin.  Over the course of several days (it was a tedious task), I worked to weave it through the ladders like old-timey licorice (stay alive, general store simile).

Embellishing this dress felt very homey and reminded me of that scene in Cinderella where Gus and Jack remake Cinderella's mother's old dress into a beautiful pink and blue confection.  I always thought that dress had much more personality than the frosty frock that her fairy godmother bibbidi-bobbidi-booed.

Still, it wasn't without a little fairy dust -- or perhaps I should say tea leaves -- that I poofed up this post.  Yep, I started this journey on the Oregon Trail, then slid down a rainbow into Disneyland, and am now hosting a one-woman tea party.  And why not?  Tea is a timeless and restorative elixir designed to cure everything from torn gowns to broken hearts and all the evil stepsisters in between.  It's as cozy as it is civilized and has inspired many a cute expression: high tea, spot of tea, and tea for two to name a few, as well as "I'm a Little Teapot."  If it were an animal, then it would be a cat.  As in tea is to tabby as coffee is to corgi.  Oh, analogies!  I've abandoned my finger sandwiches only to flail in the viscous veggie soup that is the SATs.  I'd rather take my chances in the covered wagon.

Standardized tests notwithstanding, I've put together the kind of girly getups, right down to the fruit and flower accessories, that one can wear where they pour the Earl Gray.  Not, mind you, that they're for second bananas or shrinking violets.  I had so much fun making these necklaces and barrette brooches, and I made them to stand out.  I like to think of them as pretty and proper but laced with lemon zinger.  A little salt and citrus never hurt anyone.  Especially sailors.  Which are the opposite of pretty and proper, but then, where there's a will, seamen find a way.

May Berry Charm Necklace

Blossom Bunch Barrette Brooch

Whimsical Watermelon Necklace

Rambling Rose Barrette Brooch

And so our voyage concludes, predictably or not, on a pirate ship.  Because similes and analogies and metaphors are like Jell-O: there's always room for more.

Speaking of the wiggly one, make mine orange to stave off the scurvy.