Red Rainbow Rose Necklace
Snow Bright Bangle
Sweater: Macy's
Skirt: Dolls Kill
Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless
Bag: Candie's, Kohl's
Ballerina Baby Earrings
Mint Rainbow Rose Necklace
Clara Cupcakes Charm Bracelet
Sweater: Macy's
Skirt: Macy's
Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney
Bag: City Streets, JCPenney
I've always been into rainbows. There's a Christmas morning home movie of five-year-old me fiercely clutching a brand-new Rainbow Brite doll and setting up the Color Cottage with the focus of a hibachi grill chef. My little sister toddles over to me to show me her new Cabbage Patch preemie Noreen Rhoda (the only thing weirder than those dolls' names were their Xavier Roberts butt tattoos). And I scream for her to go away. Obviously, I'm too busy seating the sprites at their wavy-edged, pink plastic table. Does this behavior reveal that little me could be a tantrum-throwing Gremlin? For sure. But does it also show my love for the sacred spectrum? Um, does the hibachi grill chef burn Big Bertha's perm when he's flipping the shrimp and singing happy birthday?
Spoiler alert. He does. Sometimes.
A few years ago, my sister gave me this Rainbow Brite Itty Bitty. Which makes me feel like even more of a villain. If only I could reciprocate with a bobble head Noreen Rhoda. If you're listening, Xavier, get on it.
Anyway, they say that double rainbows are rare. (They also say something else, but I won't go into that here.) Which is why these twin rainbow sweaters are so awesome and cute and give me all the '90s feels. (I refer, of course, to fashion feels, as most other feels from my teen years are locked in a mental drawer marked do no resuscitate).
Do you know what's almost as rare as a double rainbow? Brett Dier's reign on Wednesday night TV. I know that Brett Dier isn't a household name and that this announcement may be underwhelming. Also, that it has nothing to do with anything else I've said. But I'm okay with that.
What are the odds that Dier's new sitcom
Schooled and his old dramedy
Jane the Virgin would air on the same night on different networks, back to back? And that it would all be so symbolically full circle? Because
Schooled is in its freshman year and
Jane is sadly ending. (Some)
Jane fans fell in love with Dier's Michael five seasons ago and are still reeling from his return from the dead. Not only was it super stirring and emotional, it put Jane (Gina Rodriguez) right back where she started, forced to choose between Michael -- her husband -- and Rafael (Justin Baldoni) -- the father of her child. Never mind that she was accidentally artificially inseminated when she was still a virgin, before she'd even properly met Raf. Because
Jane is, as the narrator often and snarkily tells us, a telenovella. As for
Schooled, we're just getting to know Dier's C.B. as a slightly Michael-esque but also slightly annoying hey-kids-I'm-your-friend-not-just-your-teacher-and-I'm-wearing-the-jeans-and-wacky-ties to prove it kind of guy. Yet nerdy or not, he seems destined to date fellow teacher and rebel with a heart of gold Lainey (AJ Michalka). If you think that Lainey's too cool for this fool, think again. After all, she was engaged to Barry Goldberg. And who knows; she could still rekindle that flame. Which would leave old Brett (or as my sister calls him, triangle face) to play second fiddle a second time. Because my spidey senses tell me that Jane will be riding off into the sunset with Raf. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Time to change the subject.
When I wore rainbow-rama outfit number one, I was so excited that I decided to photograph myself in it. This meant breaking out this here selfie stick, which my mom gave me almost six years ago for my wedding. I'd never used it before, which is obvious from the frustrated look on my face. The subpar camera on my 3G phone wasn't helping. But then I thought, who cares? The graininess and washed out colors make this pic look like it's from back in the day. Which is fitting because this outfit could've come straight out of the costume trailer of
That '70s Show. "But Tote Trove lady," you may be (but probably most definitely are not) thinking, "you said this was a 90s look!" So I did. But when I wore stuff like this in the '90s, my mom would say that it was just like something she'd worn in college. So even fashion -- especially fashion -- comes full circle. Everything old becomes new again. And like Dier, rainbows never say die.
All of this philosophizing has me craving shrimp. Hold the hair spray; I'm headed to the hibachi.