Chex Mix Fix

Top: So, Kohl's; Belt: Wet Seal

Boots: Betsey Johnson, Zulily

Black Cutie Necklace

Bag: Princess Vera, Kohl's; Bracelet: Mixit, JCPenney; Ring: Old Navy; Skirt: Tinseltown, Macy's

Dress: Speechless, Kohl's; Blouse: SHEIN; Bag: Sleepyville Critters, Zulily; Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Big Red Heart Necklace

Dress: BeBop, Macy's; Boots: Apt. 9, Kohl's; Bag: Marshalls; Headband: Lady Arya, Zulily

Fabulous Felt Rainbow Rings Necklace

Checkerboard and polka dots and stripes, oh my -- I'm beginning to see a pattern!  The husband took these pics before Christmas, and I must admit that it's nice to post regular outfits again.  Even the ones where I look less than thrilled (I'm talking to you, polka dots).  

As for the necklaces, they're kind of ancient.  But I've been busy in my craft room working on new stuff, which I'm excited to show you soon.

Until then, wear your fashion flair in the great out there to ward off the lions and tigers and bears.  By which I mean unwanted weirdos.       

Wanted weirdos are always welcome.

Cured Meats and Other Treats: Mmmm, Memorial Day

Skirt: Amazon

Socks: Zulily

Tee: So, Kohl's

Bag: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Hat: Sea Star, Brigantine

Patriotic Polly Necklace (yes, the one with the other half-blood "rubies"!)

Dress: LC Lauren Conrad, Kohl's

Red White and Blue I Love You Barrette Brooch

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Modcloth

Cherry necklace: Candie's, Kohl's; Other necklace: Wet Seal

Dress: Zulily

Patriotic Pastry Barrette Brooch

Skirt: Vylette, Kohl's

Bag: Circus by Sam Edelman, Kohl's

Top: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes clockwise: Ami Clubwear; Christian Siriano for Payless; (last two) Chase & Chloe. Zulily

A hot dog is the most delicious disgusting thing you can eat (unless you're into escargot, which I'm not), and Memorial Day marks the first of three times each summer that I indulge in the mystery meat (the other times are Fourth of July and Labor Day).  Yesterday was no exception when the husband and I went to my parents' for a BBQ.  This was especially exciting after last year's porch party in the thick of the quarantine.  We ate inside because of the rain, but it was still a fun, festive time.  We're all big TV fans and talked about season finales and which shows got canceled or picked up for next season.  I even made a pudding poke cake from my JELL-O Celebrating 100 Years cookbook.    

Full disclosure, the poke in my cake didn't quite take, which meant that it was just a chocolate cake topped with pudding -- and lots of maraschino cherries.  Because whenever I botch a recipe, I like to make it extra pretty.  Anyway, the rain reminded me of the washout Memorial Day when I was five and my parents took my sister and me to see Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.  My mom was so disappointed that the storm squelched our beach plans, but I was secretly happy that we got to go to the movies instead.  Speaking of Mom, here she is:  

We're the same height, but I appear taller because I'm wearing heels.  We had the best time going through her closet and then looking at old pictures.  As they say, it's the little things. 

I hope your Memorial Day was happy too and that you got to spend time with your nearest and dearest and enjoy your favorite foods.   

Even the slimy ones. :)

Double Rainbow, Double Dier

 Red Pompom Bow Barrette

 Red Rainbow Rose Necklace

 Snow Bright Bangle

Sweater: Macy's

Skirt: Dolls Kill

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Candie's, Kohl's

 Ballerina Baby Earrings

 Mint Rainbow Rose Necklace

 Clara Cupcakes Charm Bracelet

Sweater: Macy's

Skirt: Macy's

Shoes: Worthington, JCPenney

Bag: City Streets, JCPenney

I've always been into rainbows.  There's a Christmas morning home movie of five-year-old me fiercely clutching a brand-new Rainbow Brite doll and setting up the Color Cottage with the focus of a hibachi grill chef.  My little sister toddles over to me to show me her new Cabbage Patch preemie Noreen Rhoda (the only thing weirder than those dolls' names were their Xavier Roberts butt tattoos).  And I scream for her to go away.  Obviously, I'm too busy seating the sprites at their wavy-edged, pink plastic table.  Does this behavior reveal that little me could be a tantrum-throwing Gremlin?  For sure.  But does it also show my love for the sacred spectrum?  Um, does the hibachi grill chef burn Big Bertha's perm when he's flipping the shrimp and singing happy birthday?

Spoiler alert.  He does.  Sometimes.

A few years ago, my sister gave me this Rainbow Brite Itty Bitty.  Which makes me feel like even more of a villain.  If only I could reciprocate with a bobble head Noreen Rhoda.  If you're listening, Xavier, get on it.

Anyway, they say that double rainbows are rare.  (They also say something else, but I won't go into that here.)  Which is why these twin rainbow sweaters are so awesome and cute and give me all the '90s feels.  (I refer, of course, to fashion feels, as most other feels from my teen years are locked in a mental drawer marked do no resuscitate).

Do you know what's almost as rare as a double rainbow?  Brett Dier's reign on Wednesday night TV.  I know that Brett Dier isn't a household name and that this announcement may be underwhelming.  Also, that it has nothing to do with anything else I've said.  But I'm okay with that.

What are the odds that Dier's new sitcom Schooled and his old dramedy Jane the Virgin would air on the same night on different networks, back to back?  And that it would all be so symbolically full circle?  Because Schooled is in its freshman year and Jane is sadly ending.  (Some) Jane fans fell in love with Dier's Michael five seasons ago and are still reeling from his return from the dead.  Not only was it super stirring and emotional, it put Jane (Gina Rodriguez) right back where she started, forced to choose between Michael -- her husband -- and Rafael (Justin Baldoni) -- the father of her child.  Never mind that she was accidentally artificially inseminated when she was still a virgin, before she'd even properly met Raf.  Because Jane is, as the narrator often and snarkily tells us, a telenovella.  As for Schooled, we're just getting to know Dier's C.B. as a slightly Michael-esque but also slightly annoying hey-kids-I'm-your-friend-not-just-your-teacher-and-I'm-wearing-the-jeans-and-wacky-ties to prove it kind of guy.  Yet nerdy or not, he seems destined to date fellow teacher and rebel with a heart of gold Lainey (AJ Michalka).  If you think that Lainey's too cool for this fool, think again.  After all, she was engaged to Barry Goldberg.  And who knows; she could still rekindle that flame.  Which would leave old Brett (or as my sister calls him, triangle face) to play second fiddle a second time.  Because my spidey senses tell me that Jane will be riding off into the sunset with Raf.  And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Time to change the subject.

When I wore rainbow-rama outfit number one, I was so excited that I decided to photograph myself in it.  This meant breaking out this here selfie stick, which my mom gave me almost six years ago for my wedding.  I'd never used it before, which is obvious from the frustrated look on my face.  The subpar camera on my 3G phone wasn't helping.  But then I thought, who cares?  The graininess and washed out colors make this pic look like it's from back in the day.  Which is fitting because this outfit could've come straight out of the costume trailer of That '70s Show.  "But Tote Trove lady," you may be (but probably most definitely are not) thinking, "you said this was a 90s look!"  So I did.  But when I wore stuff like this in the '90s, my mom would say that it was just like something she'd worn in college.  So even fashion -- especially fashion -- comes full circle.  Everything old becomes new again.  And like Dier, rainbows never say die.

All of this philosophizing has me craving shrimp. Hold the hair spray; I'm headed to the hibachi.

Second Banana-Rama: Fresh Off the Tote

Something for the fashion savvy sleepwalker.  

Pajamas: Simply Vera, Kohl's

Shoes: Delicious, Zulily

Bag: Betsey Johnson, Amazon

Miami Madness Necklace

Top: eric and lani, Macy's

Skirt: Bubblegum, Macy's

Shoes: Bucco, Kohl's

Bag: Bisou Bisou, JCPenney

Pineapple wristlet: City Streets, JCPenney

Blue Banana Charm Necklace

Top: Zulily

Skirt (a dress!): Modcloth

Shoes: Guess, DSW

Bag: T-Shirt & Jeans, Zulily

Guess what?  The Tote Trove is going bananas!  Which means that we have lots of bananas today.  Both exotic and familiar, this potassium-packed treat is at home in a Caribbean headdress as it is in a kindergartner's lunchbox.  That's what makes it so -- yes -- a-peel-ing.

As a fan of fruit motifs in general and yellow in particular, I've got a whole bunch of bananas in my wardrobe.  One of the newest additions is this T-Shirt & Jeans clutch:

The brand's tagline is: "The bag defines your style."  Although I don't subscribe to this philosophy (wear a plain tee and jeans?  I'd sooner sport a mullet.), I like the thought behind it, that is, that a great bag can make your whole look.

One thing I didn't have in my cornucopia was any Bananas in Pyjamas merchandise.  (And yes, "pyjamas" is spelled with a "y." I think it's an Australian thing.)  Surely you remember this famed produce pair as part of the '90s craze of adults donning costumes and singing for the sake of kiddie TV.  (Hey, just be thankful that I'm not getting all misty eyed over the Teletubbies.)  Anyway, the Bananas in Pyjamas wore blue and white striped (what else?) pajamas, they came down the stairs . . . and that's all I know because I never actually watched them.  I just thought that they were so cute.  (Would apples have been as endearing?  I think not.)  As a teenager, I saw the stuffed animals (fruit?) versions at a True Value Hardware while on vacation in Stone Harbor, and to this day, I regret not buying them.  Especially now that they're on Amazon for upwards of fifty dollars.  But I still wanted to include their sweet little faces in this post, so I persevered with my search.  The most economical -- and interesting -- option turned out to be this tee featuring the dynamic duo:

Tee: Amazon

Skirt: Dickies, Dolls Kill

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Nine West

Sunglasses: Michaels

Now, it's a little big for my taste (in this photo I've folded it under).  Which means that I'll probably wear it around the house or tie it at the the side to give it that '80s-rific crop top vibe.  Nevertheless, it looks great with this super old black and yellow necklace, whose color scheme is subtly reminiscent of the Grinch's iconic greasy black peel.  Which, while disturbing, isn't as bad as being like the seasick crocodile.

Super Old No Name Necklace

I can't help but wonder what the T-Shirt & Jeans people would say about that. 

Rad, Dad . . .

 Happy Hipster Charm Necklace

Top: Decree, JCPenney

Skirt: Modcloth

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: Sleepyville Critters, Zulily

Belt: Modcloth

Sunglasses: Brigantine Beach shop

. . . is what you'd say, unironically (because it is his day, after all), if your dad told a joke beginning with "Knock knock, who's there?", or for crustier dads and more mature audiences, "A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar . . .". Oh, Father's Day. You were invented by President Nixon ('cause Tricky Dick did one thing right) and kept kicking by Hallmark. But we see past the politics and profits to the ooey gooey sweet center of this celebration that simply states: I love you, man. If you look closely at life, then you'll see several parts of the padre, scattered helter skelter like so many fishing lures and foam fingers and tie tacks. There's that old rascal Father Time (as illustrated by these colorful watches on an appropriately masculine albeit glossy hardwood floor); A Wrinkle in Time, the classic story about a brilliant but flawed father who is missing, and finally, Miller Time, a tribute to that all-time fatherly favorite: beer.

Speaking of which, we salute you, weird little peach double scoop top that doesn't seem like it would go with anything. Yeah you, creeping up on the rad rainbow chevron. (This is a nod, I realize, not to anything Miller, but to those old Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercials. As in, we salute you, Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller Guy, the man who has everything -- everything except a friend to help carry a cooler.) Weird little peach double scoop top, I half-heartedly bought you on clearance years ago because you were too cheap to pass up and ended up wearing you a ton, especially layered under sheer blouses that look like melted sorbet (how's that for poetry, oh hauler of the hot dogs?). And good thing, too, because you turned out to be a great backdrop for this Happy Hipster Charm Necklace, a bad boy piece of bling that boasts a llama, rainbow, palm tree, cactus, and, to go with those brewskis, a taco and slice of pizza.

You know what else goes with brewskis? Hawaiian shirts. Just ask Real Man of Genius Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer Guy. Big kahuna indeed.

So, whether you crack open a Miller, Bud, or pink lemonade this Father's Day, we salute you, dads of America.

And also Mr. T, for making it cool for men to rock necklaces.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Amidst the Twee?

 Tropical Tassel Necklace

Painted Desert Necklace

Top: Jennifer Lopez Collection, Kohl's

Skirt: Candie's, Kohl's

Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

Bag: H&M

Sunglasses: Relic, Kohl's

Tote.  Trove.  Lad-y!  Or, maybe I should have asked, who lives in a Dutch colonial amidst the pineapples?  (SpongeBob and Patrick would understand; Squidward not so much).  Have I moved to Hawaii?  Or to an alternate universe with a tropical farm market run by cartoons?  If only.  No, I'm talking about plain old pedestrian knickknacks.  The husband and I decided to put one of the pineapple persuasion in every room of our house.  Out of all of them (and there are many), only these two are photogenic.  The other pineapples already hate them and are starving themselves with the hope that they'll be picked next time.

The door knocker was originally brass, but the husband painted it in vibrant shades of green, brown, and yellow.  He spent a lot of time getting the brown just right.  It turned out great, really popping against the red door.

Speaking of home decor, I recently saw a pillow (IRL or on Pinterest; I can't tell the difference anymore) that said "I'd rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of stuff."  And I thought . . . nah, I'll take the stuff.  Partly because I hate packing and hotel duvets and tour buses with guides named Eugene.  Partly because I love stuff.  Buying stuff, collecting stuff, finding places to put stuff, wearing stuff, photographing stuff, pinning stuff, writing about stuff, looking at stuff.  You know how Oprah says, "I love bread!"?  Well, that's how I feel about stuff.  So, when I sat down this week to make some new stuff (and by stuff I of course mean necklaces), it made sense that it would involve pineapples (albeit tiny ones).  And also a cactus.

Good old P & P.  A pair of prickly pals, to be sure -- but more than that, friends to the end.  Kind of like SpongeBob and Patrick.

But not Squidward.  No one likes that dude.