Palinode on MamaPop: Roundtable Video

Over at Mamapop.com I've posted the MamaPop Roundtable Video. This week we all read out the lyrics to a Miley Cyrus tune, and in the process perhaps we learn a little something about ourselves. But probably not.

The ubiquity of pop music – its ability to leap through the air and materialize in the back seat of a taxi or the balconies of a club – is the subject of the song, but the ubiquity of Cyrus herself is the subtext. In essence, the story of the song is homiletic; Cyrus wants you to respond to Party In The USA in the same way that the singer responds to the Britney song. MILEY CYRUS IS ATTEMPTING TO CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN’S MINDS. But you probably knew that already. Like yeah.

MamaPop Video Roundtable: Like Yeah Edition

Palinode on MamaPop: Ashton Kutcher To Pirate His Own Movie

I have a post up today on MamaPop, "Ashton Kutcher Is A Pirate (Rhythm Still Not a Dancer, Though)":

It must be tough being a  ridiculously good-looking take-no-prisoners rogue like Ashton Kutcher.  Aside from the privilege of being married to a cyborg and keeping a steady movie career going while hawking digital cameras, he's really living on the edge of something or other.

Because now Ashton Kutcher is taking his place alongside digital freedom fighters everywhere.

While you're here, don't forget to check out my substantially updated post on avocados, which features a majestic American flag.  "Come for the avocados, stay for the majestic flag".

Palinode on MamaPop: Scott and Renee Baio vs The Lesbians

Over on MamaPop.com I've written about Scott and Renee Baio's weird and entirely offensive fight with Jezebel.com, Twitter users and decent people in general:

This is exciting.  Scott Baio is in the news again.  No, not because of his talent or sharp-toothed good looks.  Because his wife Renee has a problem with "lesbian shitasses".  Hey Renee!  Who doesn't?  They ruin web sites, proms, the sacred institution of marriage - everything.  If they existed outside of Renee Baio's mind, they'd pose a real problem.

"Scott Baio Needs To Watch Out For Those Lesbian Shitasses" (language is NSFW, but it's nearly all from the Baios.)

Palinode at MamaPop: Something Something Bachelor Sex Scandal

Just like every other Tuesday, I post at Mamapop.com. This week's entry is all about the shocking and scandalous sex scandal shocker that The Bachelor's PR people are making sure you know all about in advance: Contestant on The Bachelor Caught Fooling Around with a Crew Member, Which I Guess Is Wrong.

my web empire extends by an inch

Everybody what's out there! I am now a weekly contributor to MamaPop, a site written with a women-centric take on pop culture. I have to fake it because I've never actually met a woman in person, but I hear they have the same needs, fears and desires as men, except the majority of them want to have sex with us. Why this is I'm not sure - I mean, have you seen the condition we keep ourselves in? But the world is built on miracle and bluff.

Even though I post every Tuesday at 2:00 pm Eastern time, I strongly recommend that you visit every single waking moment of your days. The writing team, headed up by Sweetney and Amalah, is an exceptionally strong and funny bunch of pop culture addicts. Including my Schmutzie-wife!

Go now and go often. My inaugural post is called The Greatest Trick Joaquin Phoenix Ever Pulled Was Convincing the World He Didn't Exist. Feel free to leave comments, insult my insensitivity to celebrities, whatever you like. See you there.