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VIDEO REVIEW: Barbarella

REVIEW: The Mark of Kriminal

The Mark of Kriminal

Director: Fernando Cerchio & Nando Cicero

Year 1968

The Mark of Kriminal is the second and last entry in the Kriminal caper series, featuring a mysterious masked thief named Kriminal who is as cunning as he is debonair. Based on a comic strip of the same name, the film takes place almost directly after the events in the first film, which concluded with the capture of Kriminal, yet it introduces us to the fact that you just can't keep a good criminal down as the master thief is back to his old tricks again. Shot in the same fun and vibrant style as the original, this enjoyable sequel globe-trots from London, to Spain, and to Lebanon, while maintaining enough twists and turns in the narrative to make it a worthy successor to Umberto Lenzi's 1966 effort.

The film follows the exploits of Kriminal as he comes into possession of a Buddha figurine that houses a portion of a treasure map. The quarry of this map just so happens to be a hidden collection of famous paintings made by Goya and Rembrandt, and Kriminal aims to retrieve them by any means necessary. Trouble is that there are two more missing pieces to the map, which are also hidden away inside two other Buddha statues and its up to Kriminal to hunt down the remaining few before anyone else learns of his schemes. Hot on his trail is Inspector Milton, who has not given up his fevered pursuit in bringing Kriminal to justice, while a new foe enters the picture in the form of the vivacious Mara Gitan, a fellow treasure hunter and opportunistic femme fatale who matches Kriminal's moves at every turn. Who will recover the priceless works of art is anyone’s guess, but it's sure to be an entertaining and fun-filled ride.

Glenn Saxson reprises his role as the titular master thief and it seems as if he is rather comfortable with the character in this entry. Though I thoroughly enjoyed his portrayal in the first film, I feel that he brings a bit more personality this time around, allowing for his wit and ingenuity to take center stage. There's no doubt about it, Kriminal is one sly son of a bitch, and Saxson milks this for all its worth. The enormously suave personality of his character is larger than life, showcasing enough charm and charisma that you'd think you stumbled onto a long lost Eurospy gem. One things for certain, Glenn Saxson owns the role of Kriminal for all its worth and after his tremendous efforts in both the original 1966 production and The Mark of Kriminal, he's solidified his position as the ultimate cinematic iteration of the character.

Accompanying Saxson on this wild caper is Helga Line, as she takes on the role of Mara Gitan the sexy seductress who shapes up to be Kriminal's equal. Helga is no stranger to the world of Kriminal, for she played a double role in the 1966 entry as both Inge and Trude, twin sisters who cross paths with Kriminal. In this film her character takes a drastic turn from those other iterations, as she plays more of a thorn in the side of the title character. As dangerous and conniving as she is beautiful, Helga's Mara Gitan character is a sly and illusive one, willing to do all and anything in order to obtain her end goal. The interactions between herself and Saxson are astoundingly fun and it's enthralling to watch the pair lie and cheat their way to the riches, as they vie for position against each other. As always, Helga is a vision to behold and the film gives her ample opportunity in showing off her fashion sense with her various outfits and sometimes lack there of. I've always been a fan of her work ever since I first caught her in The Loreley's Grasp, and in this production she absolutely shines.

As with the first Kriminal film, the movie is filled to the brim with wacky antics and interesting capers. Many of these whimsical moments are provided by the character of Inspector Milton, played by Andrea Bosic. Bosic reprises his role from the original film, bringing that same energized and persistent approach that made his character so enjoyable the first time around. In The Mark of Kriminal, his main antics are centered around the fact that he is engaged to wed and his personal vendetta against Kriminal keeps getting in the way of his wedding day. With a number of memorable moments involving a fiery bride berating him for keeping up this foolhardy quest in bringing Kriminal to justice, Bosic establishes that central thematic arc that was prevalent in the original film while branching out as the movie moves along into rather unexpected territories. His performance in this film is a real treat and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Of course Andrea Bosic isn't the only reason this film is so madcap. The most enjoyable aspects of this production can be attributed to Glenn Saxson's performance and the wild adventures that he gets himself into. From scaring old women to death and then collecting their insurance money, to electrocuting his former lover right before she is about to poison him, to framing a handsome single young man as Kriminal, to basically being an all around cocky sure-headed scoundrel, this film is a roller coaster in depicting the wild nature of Kriminal's world and more-so his questionable persona. You really have to give it up to the filmmakers for injecting this entry with the same wicked wit and charm that the original had, while still being able to maintain the fun-filled nature that Kriminal encompasses. The Mark of Kriminal has definitely got the goods and then some, so don't let it pass you by.

The Mark of Kriminal is an Italian caper which takes all of the aspects that made the original film so enjoyable, and adds to the formula in some rather stupendous ways. By bringing back Glenn Saxson for the title role and also snagging another opportunity to place Mara Gitan in the world of Kriminal, the filmmakers cemented their success with exquisite precision. Saxson knocks the character out of the park, while Helga spices up the proceedings with her undeniable allure and sexy swagger, making for a cinematic pairing that is absolute bliss. Andrea Bosic is also another returning asset to the production that really adds a great deal of energy to the film.

As for the overall story of The Mark of Kriminal, the treasure hunt mystery is one that will keep you guessing as the story gradually unfolds. In between this globe trotting journey, we are given countless opportunities to see Kriminal in action both in the living flesh and behind the iconic mask. Not only that, but Kriminal has a wild collection of ridiculously fashioned disguises that have to be seen to be believed. What really takes the cake in this production is the utterly, out of left field, ending that literally side-swipes you and pulls the rug out from under you. It's wild and abrupt, but it succinctly puts an end to the proceedings in the most unusual of ways and I'm willing to bet it will get a chuckle out of most who view it. If you're looking for a good time and you thoroughly enjoyed the original Kriminal film, then give this one a go. The Mark of Kriminal is an.....

That's right Kriminal! Get you some!

Kriminal says.... "Cry me a river". What a bastard!

Lady, your hat is almost as stupid as my fake mustache.

I'm giving you a casual middle-finger. Kriminal you bastard!

Sweet Sassafras!!!!

Careful with that Buddha statue you stupid shit!

Ever have sex with a masked weirdo?

What are you looking at four-eyes?

Please don't look at me when I sip my tea.

So is that weird little man with the fez still watching us?

Holy Mary mother of GOD! It's Helga!

Get your feet off of the table you savage!

I think we took a wrong turn. This place is a shithole.

Now that's one hot bookworm.

Talk about the Iron Chic!

Watch the road asshole!

Nobody leaves Helga Line handcuffed to a jeep.... NOBODY!

Let me tell you something buddy.... I'm the MAN!

i SPY ASIASPY: Ironfinger 2

Ironfinger 2: Goldeneye
Director: Jun Fukuda
Year 1968
 
Ironfinger 2: Goldeneye, AKA Goldeneyes, AKA Booted Babe Busted Boss, is a sequel to the wild Asiaspy flick Ironfinger, which continues the further adventures of Interpol agent/everyman Andrew Hoshino. Shot in the same daring style and showcased with an energetic affinity, this pleasurable spy film has enough entertaining moments and espionage-filled antics to satisfy any lover of the sub-genre. With Akira Takarada reprising his role as Andrew Hoshino, you know that you’re in for an enjoyable cinematic ride that mirrors the first film, yet adds a slew of memorable characters to spice up the formula a bit. Like its predecessor, Ironfinger 2 is a mile-a-minute adventure filled with beautiful women, dangerous villains, and a charismatic lead that makes this movie a joy to watch.
 
The film follows Interpol agent Andrew Hoshino as he gets mixed up in another hair-raising mission that involves the recovery of a cache of gold which has been hidden away from the world and kept in secrecy. After a man steals a piece of the treasure from the wealthy Stonefeller, a blind and corrupt entrepreneur, it’s up to Andrew to track down the leads and obtain the coin before Stonefeller and his thugs can get their hands on it. Recovering the stolen coin won’t be easy, because a number of opportunists, both on the payroll of Stonefeller and outside of his organization, are on the look out for the treasure, making Andrew’s job that much more difficult and interesting. As the plot thickens, Andrew makes an unlikely partnership with one of Stonefeller’s agents, a sexy and lethal woman by the name of Ruby. Together they decide to take the coin for themselves and rendezvous to a tropical island in order to live out their dreams, but can they overcome the odds stacked against them? If anyone can, it would be Andrew. Do it Hoshino you crazy son of a bitch!

Akira Takarada returns to the role that seemed tailor made for him in the first Ironfinger film as the agent with all the right moves, Andrew Hoshino. Reprising the character with the same outstanding charisma and infectious attitude, Akira doesn’t miss a beat as the film bursts into motion displaying his stylish new threads and trademark wit. This time around the film doesn’t really play with his character’s ambiguity too much, opting to dive right in to the fun and energy of the mission. I watched both Ironfinger and Ironfinger 2, back to back, and Akira’s performance in each film is pitch-perfect across the board. The bridging of the two films is seamless when it comes to Akira’s portrayal of the super agent Andrew, and the whimsical nature of his character is as enjoyable as it’s ever been in this continuation. As I’ve said before, Akira’s portrayal is the heart of the first movie, giving it a life and energy that is just a blast to see play out, and the same can be said for this entry as well. When it comes to Asian-inspired James Bond representations, no one does it quite like Akira Takarada.
 
Makoto Sato takes on the role of Detective Tezuka, the chief of police, a character that was featured in the first film but played by a far older and clumsier man. The choice to go with a younger more streamlined version for Tezuka is a strange one, and it took me a few seconds to realize that Sato was playing the same role that Ichiro Arishima nailed in the first Ironfinger entry, but even with the oddity of the character change I still enjoyed what Sato brought to the table. Tezuka still fills a comedic niche in the movie, but it’s more of a subtle performance compared to Ichiro’s over-the-top pratfalls and lunacy. Stepping up into the two female roles of the piece are Bibari Maeda as Ruby and Tomomi Sawa as Mitsuko. Ruby is a mysterious character whose intentions are always kind of fuzzy throughout the story. She’s dangerous and lethal, and often at times playing both sides against each other, making her an interesting foe for Andrew to tackle. Bibari does an amazing job with the role and I found myself warming up to her strange charm and alluring looks. On the other side of the coin is Mitsuko, an innocent young aspiring singer who really only factors into the story because she got swept up into the caper by accident. Tomomi looks great as the un-expecting, but opportunistic, bystander and she has an enjoyable and cute moment in the film where she gets to showcase her vocal talents during a musical number that allows her to display an array of wild outfits while dancing against some rather interesting backgrounds. All in all, the cast is sound for the roles that they are given and each person pulls their weight when it comes to moving the story along.

When it comes to style this movie has it down, providing some visually stunning moments and enough retro goodness to quench anyone’s thirst for gaudy designs and unusual wardrobes. One of the most pleasing aspects at the beginning of the film is in the form of Andrew’s color coordinated suit, which features him donned in a crimson red fedora with matching undershirt, along with one of the sweetest looking white suits these spy loving eyes have ever laid eyes on. The guy looks secret agent chic and nothing pays homage to Bond more than a kicking white suit and an attitude to match. The wardrobes of the characters are not the only thing to spruce up the appearance of the film, for the overall visual look of the locations and cinematography of the movie are top notch retro, with style to spare. From what I’ve come to notice with the Asiaspy genre, each film has a visual palette to it that equally matches its wild narrative and lively characters. Ironfinger 2 is no exception to that rule.
 
Along with the overall intense facade of the film, the movie has some equally expressive moments that really make you sit up and take notice. One in particular shows an army of carriage pushing nuns who trap our main characters in a gravel pit, using their decoy baby strollers as makeshift gun turrets as they unload on the good-guys with machine guns after their funeral wake. The moment is straight out of some spy spoof from the same era, but it is handled in a serious way with no pausing moment to reflect on the campiness of the situation. Another great scene has Akira Takarada replicating the iconic moment of the first film, where he allows the bad guy a heads start before gunning him down from long range. This sequence is mirrored, but in a different location. Instead of the sandy beach surrounded by tropical vegetation and crystal clear waters, we are placed on a grassy hill overlooking a deserted road which spans a suspension bridge across a wide river. Andrew allows the intended target to run as fast as he can across the bridge, nearly enabling the man to get away before displaying some unbelievable marksmanship when he finally delivers the death-blow that sends the man tumbling over the side of the bridge in an expertly choreographed motion. The reinsertion of this memorable moment is a nice touch and gives the character of Andrew a kind of trademark execution that enables us to view his colder, more calculating side. During the closing moments of the film, we’re given another gem in the form of a very tension filled scene that features Andrew and the evil Stonefeller in a most unusual gunfight. The interesting thing about this scene is that it is done all through sound, emphasizing the device that Stonefeller uses to compensate for his lack of vision and enhance anything that reverberates within the vicinity. Even though Stonefeller is old and handicapped, this scene makes him a fierce combatant and proves that he is both as deadly as he is greedy. I loved the closing character turn for Stonefeller and I felt the application of this twist enhanced the enjoyability of the finale, making him a worthy villain for Andrew.

Ironfinger 2 is a stupendous sequel which continues in the tradition of the original, while still adding a few bells and whistles here and there to the formula that really build onto what was already established as an enjoyable entry in the Asiaspy cannon of films. With the return of the main player Andrew Hoshino, and the inspiring portrayal by Akira Takarada, the film has a great continuity to the fun of the previous one, making you wish that they would have continued on with Andrew’s adventures in order to see what wacky thing he got into next. The rest of the cast do an amazing job to their credit, with Bibari Maeda giving a spirited performance that really rivals Mie Hama’s turn in the first film.
 
On top of the wonderful cast, the film allows the same style and panache, which was presented in the first entry, to shine all the more in this most enthralling sequel. Matching the visual look of the movie at every turn, the situations and action set-pieces are mirror images to the imagery, making for a duel presentation that is quite comfortable in its delivery. The world that the filmmakers set up in this movie is so fully realized and downright fun that you really can’t deny the abundance of enjoyment that you can get out of one single viewing of this wild masterpiece. After years of searching for this entry and the first in the series, it’s safe to say that the wait was more than worth it. Ironfinger 2 is a wonderful addition to my already packed Asiaspy collection, and I’m wholly satisfied with the overall quality of this production. Fun to the last drop, Ironfinger 2 is a…..

This guy is about to get hooked on this film.

What a show-off.

That... outfit... looks.... FABULOUS!

Real tough Andrew. Stealing lunch money from a kid. You should be ashamed!

Take that you sinning bastards!

Take this you crazy bitch!

I'm gonna shoot that stupid hat right off your head.

Give me some skin brotha.

It's going to be ok buddy. It's just a flesh wound.

These traveling window salesmen are getting pushier by the day!

I'm having fun with the sleepover, but when do we start the naked pillowfight?

These guys are having a blast!

Nothing like hunting human to get your blood boiling... again.

Get down you groovy kids. Get down!

You really have to find an easier way to go to the bathroom.

Hey hot stuff.... would you like to go out on a date with me, please?

That Stonefeller is one mean old bastard. Get off my lawn you damn kids!

She's got that look of sex in her eyes. Yes please!

REVIEW: Barbarella

Barbarella

Director: Roger Vadim

Year 1968

 

Barbarella is a trippy and sexy sci-fi adventure that begins with an anti-gravity striptease and ends with a bang. Set in a futuristic universe that is anything but normal, the narrative follows one lone astronaut woman as she embarks on a journey across the cosmos, encountering one strange thing after another. With a heavy sense of retro style and an abundance of groovy visuals, Barbarella is one science fiction film that truly sets itself apart from the rest of the pack.

 

The film follows a 41^st century astronaut named Barbarella as she is assigned to the task of investigating and stopping an evil man by the name of Durand Durand. This insatiable torturer lives on the planet Lythion in the city of Sogo, where he delights in the fabrication of new sins and the mad construction of his various devices that inflict pain through pleasure. The mission seems simple, but Barbarella soon finds out that anything is possible on this strange new planet. Only after befriending the locals, namely a winged man named Pygar and a peculiar underground resistance, does Barbarella truly have a chance in taking down this vile man and his equally overbearing and sexy leader named The Great Tyrant. Welcome to the sexy and saturated world of Barbarella.

Jane Fonda plays the titular role of Barbarella and boy does she fill the role perfectly. Unabashed in an aura of sensuality, Fonda owns the character for everything its worth, making a role that is rather risky and turning it into something that is quite accessible. The endless wardrobe for Fonda’s character is astounding, partaking in every retro styled futuristic cliché the filmmakers can come up with but without making it feel familiar and tackled territory. The different variations of her garbs and the skillful way the filmmakers clothed her body, yet still left so much to not have to be imagined, was quite an achievement among the young male community at the time. It’s safe to say that Fonda’s portrayal of Barbarella, was without a doubt the sexiest astronaut to ever grace the screen from that point on and into the far flung future.

 
What’s great about Barbarella is that she is actually a strong and intelligent woman, and still there is this fun and bubbly side to her that makes you wish you knew someone as quirky as her. Fonda does a perfect job in projecting this odd balance and in this execution she allows her character to pop from the screen and be highly relatable even though she is so unique. The introduction of Barbarella must have been a reasonable shock to the masses, because you get an empowered female figure yet at the same time she is scantily clad throughout the entire picture. The conundrum is uncanny and to me it is part of the fun of this wacky and wild character. In respect to Fonda as an actress, she nails this part to perfection as she has the looks to pull off this sexy astronaut role, but also has the acting chops to tackle the surreal nature of the film and just have fun with it. The role of Barbarella might be a silly one in retrospect, but it is one that will go down in history as being the most enjoyable portrayal in the entire science fiction genre. Did I mention it’s sexy!

Now as wonderful as Jane Fonda looks and acts in this film, there are quite a few other characters that do an equally good job in bringing this obscure world to life. John Phillip Law plays the role of Pygar, the angelic winged man with a soft spot for scantily clad astronaut women. The character of Pygar is blind, so this enabled Law to really step up his game and replicate that same physical presentation of a man without sight. Law does a fabulous job in this most unusual role, and the sympathy that he is able to garner within the runtime of the film is astounding. In all aspects, Pygar is innocent and angelic and once introduced to the harsh environment seen within the city of Solo, we feel pity for this poor creature whose only crime was helping Barbarella on her perilous journey to find Durand Durand. Speaking of Durand Durand, he’s played by Milo O’Shea, a creepy bastard who seems to relish in the sadistic role of the sexual deviant. I enjoyed his goofy take as a sex torturer and thought that he made the character more enjoyable than it had any right to be. Another great character, but sorely under-used, was the role of The Great Tyrant played by the stunning Anita Pallenberg. Her wardrobe rivaled Barbarella’s in its audacity and overall strangeness, and that’s a feat on itself.
 
Much like the characters of this film, the world is equally expressive and diverse. As Barbarella lands on the planet of Lythion we are introduced to our first bit of strangeness in the form of an ice covered surface world housing odd demented children with equally obscure little toys that look born from nightmares. Oh yeah, did I also mention that they use floating stingrays to pull them around on the ice as a form of transportation. Anyway, after that rude awakening Barbarella delves deeper into the weirdness that is planet Lythion, ending up in a peculiar underground cavern that is home to the bird-man Pygar and an endless labyrinth filled with wretched creatures that could give the nightmarish monsters of Jim Henson’s Labyrinth a run for their money. After that we are given our first glimpses of the sinful city of Sogo, where Durand Durand and his aptly named sex device Exessive Machine dwell. It is also here where we first come face to face with The Great Tyrant in all her one horned glory. With each and every one of these locations, we are lambasted with a set design aesthetic that is simply out of this world. From The Great Tyrant’s dream chamber to the sin-infested corridors of the city of Sogo, the filmmakers spared no expense in creating a fully realized world with all of the decadent trimmings. It’s a pretty safe bet that once you jump into this wild film, you’ll never truly be the same. As for me, I’m perfectly fine with that notion, because Barbarella is one sexy cinematic production that you can’t help getting lost in.

Barbarella is a wild ride of epic proportions that blasts you with one crazy thing after another, all the while doing it in stunning style. The retro futuristic feel of the film is top notch, allowing for the plethora of sexually charged elements of the movie to blend in seamlessly with the visually potent look of the world. Jane Fonda as Barbarella is as delightfully breathtaking as she is intriguing, and you really can’t deny the magnetic pull that she has in this film.
 
As with Fonda’s portrayal of the sexiest astronaut in the universe, the rest of the characters bring their A game to the table in delivering an array of interesting beings to populate this cinematic realm. John Phillip Law as Pygar, Milo O’Shea as Durand Durand, and Anita Pallenberg as The Great Tyrant are all expertly performed and sizzle in their mysteriousness and ambiguous nature. As for the overall look of the film, you really can’t dismiss the absolute absurdity and awe-inspiring wonder that some of these sets project and the visceral feel of many of these fabricated locations seem plucked from a painting or lovingly replicated from some far away galaxy where such oddities like these actually do exist. In summary, the film is just a whole hell of a lot of fun and there is so much to like about this film that you really should just sit back and enjoy the ride. Did I mention that it is sexy as all hell? Oh, I did…. Good! Barbarella is a science fiction movie that is…..

Now where did I park that stingray?

This is what nightmares are made of.

Sexy... Sexy!

What are you looking at you blind freak?

This screenshot makes me want to, "Dance Magic Dance!"

This chick really likes feathers.

Send me a Pygar... Send me a Pygar... Right Now!

You see that machine over there. I'm gonna sex the hell out of you with it.

Lose the horn honey! That went out two years ago.

I'm not wearing pants again... am I?

High fives are awesome in the future!

My word that's some good shit!

So this is what it's like to live in a snowglobe.

This creepy dude knows what he likes.

Damn you evil parakeets! Damn you to HELL!

Kind of a weird sofa, but I'm not complaining.

Well you look pleased with yourself Pygar.