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Endurance, Perseverance, Hope...

As many of you know, our two oldest children were blessed with the opportunity to go to the Diamond J Rodeo Camp. This is their second year, but it feels like it has been a life time. I was really hoping and praying that I would be able to go and was thinking that I was going to have to miss is this year. It brings so much joy to not only to our children but to me. I leave there filling filled with the Holy Spirt. The relationships you gain while there are lifelong ones. I truly consider them family. That all being said I was able to go and the girls grew in both their rodeo skills as in the relationship with Christ. God truly has a way of speaking through people and there were many times that I felt that He was speaking directly to me. On the last night, Pastor Al had asked us to close our eyes in preparation to pray, then said, " Now look at yourself" I did, and to my surprise I saw a beautiful version of myself. I thought to myself this must be how God sees me. I...
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We are the Hands and Feet...

I’ve been thinking about how when God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it and how when He says that He’s holding you in the palm of His hand. I think about how much my community both physical community that I live in and the community of friends, neighbors, and family who have surrounded us and are holding us. Truly holding us up during this difficult season of our life. I just can’t express how much we feel blessed, loved, and supported during this time. I am such a firm believer in the fact that God puts people in our lives for a reason. He has kept us here in Creston for a reason, there have been so many different opportunities and reasons why we thought that we should move and we have stayed and I am so thankful that we have. In my mind when people would say allow God to hold you, I would picture my little self in big giant hands. Now when I look at those hands I see all the different people who have been supporting us making up those hands. Thank you, truly, to all of y...

One Day at a Time

From the beginning of my diagnosis never not once did I ever think that I wasn’t going to make it or did I fear death. At the end of the day the truth is I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and I have prayed for my family my friends and all of you who have given me so much love and support that if that they were to come that you would be given peace. I know where I’m going if I were to pass and that is to be with my heavenly father. I know there are some of you who may not agree with what I’m saying and that’s OK. I’m not here to push my beliefs on anyone I’m just telling you what brings me peace. On the way into treatment yesterday I was feeling frustrated because I finally started to feel normal for Saturday and Sunday and was back to my self for the most part and I knew that when I had treatment I wouldn’t be and that was hard. But as we drove into town I saw a small patch of poppies on the side of the road some of you locals me know what I’m talking about just outside of deep c...

If its a Good day make it Great day!!

I have 2 rounds of Chemo now, this first week after treatment seems to be the worst. The nausia isn't too bad, they have given me a lot of diffrent tools to help with that. I do suffer from exterime ecaustion, a kind that is like nothing I have really never had before. Well maybe combind a really bad hangover and a newbron baby. Yeah that is close. My body feel very heavey and I know that my insides are working overtime. After my first round my boys came berrling out of the house sayting that they were ready to be my bald budies, so tht next morning we did just that. With Hannah's help we came up with a very fun head cover. The second week is much better and I feel much more like myself and can do more things. I try to do what I can but I have a wonderful support system that is always keeping thier eye on me and will to step in at any given moment. I have been so humbeld by all the love a support that I ahve been getting. I trully am so blessed. I wonderful thing h...

It's Only For a Little Bit...

I am sorry that I haven't gotten this out. I started it on May 20, belive it or not. I will jump forward in the next post, it may be a long one sorry about that. All of this is only for a little bit. That's what my mother-in-love keeps telling me. This is true, in the big picture of things. I feel like I am worthless because I am suppose to be taking it easy. I had my port placed on May 14th. Latter that night I started having pain in my chest, all across my chest but I just thought it was from the port. All through the weekend it would hurt to breath, to bend over, to lay a certain way. I called my doctors office and they encouraged me to go to the ER. They did an EKG, lab work, and an x-ray. Nothing was found, which is good, however I didn't have answers. I returned home feeling very tired and was told that I need to not do anything. I returend to the ER last night with the same thing yet it had moved to my back. I got to have a CT scan and again nothing wa...

Big Changes!

Where to start? I had my CT scan and my full body bone scan, and both came back clean!! Praise Jesus! So that being said I am at a stage 3 and nothing has changed. The cancer is all in my right breast and no where else. I meet with my oncology Dr. tomorrow to figure out all of my chimo stull. I will be getting a port and I belive my schedule will be a 3 on 4 off, but I will find out more tomorrow. I would like to thank everyone who has provided food, help, contunide prayers, love, and support. There are so many that I would need a book to get all of you listed. You all are loved so much, ans so appriciated. This week we got to have family pictures taken, the day after that I took William with me to get my hair cut. He was having a hard time with the idea of me being bald. Well he handdelt it will, so well that he said, "Mommy you can hold my hand, it will be ok". Oh this boy of mine. I love his tender heart so much. He could see I was having a hard time with it ...