Iron Chef - Gardengate

The Food Network, having seen Bravo kick it's sorry ass in the TV Food Wars, finally reached deep into it's bag of tricks to yank out something, ANYTHING to bring a little respectability to a network chock full of cleavage clutter. (Taking that Boob Tube moniker just a little too seriously there, aren't cha Food Network?)So they looked out into their stable of Culinary Nags and decided that Iron Chef America would be the perfect vehicle to hatch their plans of world food tv domination.What was the light bulb over their collective producing heads to counter one of best seasons ever of Top Chef? Stunt casting.
That's right, a White House Episode complete with the First Lady. I'm not sure which is worse, Batalli's Orange Crocks or Shelly O's Orange Frock but frankly that's a discussion better suited for the Boyz over at TLo. No, we're here to eviscerate Gardengate. You see the whole premise of this particular episode (...ratings...) of Iron Chef America was to promote the worthy cause of fighting obesity (...fighting a ratings war...) and eating fresh and healthy vegetables (...smacking Bravo upside it's foodie noggin...). Part of the two hour show was following chefs Batali, Flay, Emeril Lagasse and Cristeta Comerford as they posed purposefully in the White House garden, digging up radishes and choosing what they wanted to cook with. Now I didn't see this part of the show, I happened to catch them in Kitchen Stadium just before they started cooking during which they said they would be using vegetables from the White House garden. Because I'm one of those annoying behind the scenes, wondering how they did that sort of gal, my mind immediately wondered if they had moved Kitchen Stadium to DC from their normal shooting grounds of NY? Or did they rush the precious veggies to NY on the Food Network Private Jet (talk about possible carbon footprint implications)? No, according to Marian Burros's New York Times piece they used Stunt Double veggies. Thus making all the silliness of Chefs in the White House Garden a big fat stinking lie.

What's next? That Giada's breasts aren't real?(I demand a thorough, hands on investigation immediately)

And like all good feel good stories gone bad...you just never know when the veggies are going to turn on you and bite you in the ass.

Salad courtesy of Till Nowak