Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

Directed by: Vito Trabucco
Run Time:  90 Minutes

This movie was being advertised on Twitter and like forty percent of the weirdness on that service it of course was brought to my attention. So I checked out the trailer, carried out the hunt for a retailer that had it and shipped to Canada, and once I owned it I promptly forgot about it. Which really was a disservice to this film as it is a fun, crude, and completely insane.

The story starts in 1977 at Happy Day Bible Camp. A vague denominational Christian bible camp in the middle of nowhere USA. The campers and staff are engaged in the sort of things you would expect people in a Christian bible camp to be doing. Mostly sex, drugs, and referencing events that happened in 1977. Like the death of Elvis Presley or commenting about how horrible a certain space opera movie that opened earlier that year. This film is a slasher film, so the nostalgia for the seventies gives way to random bloody murder of everybody except for two people. The added bonus is the killer is dressed up as a nun with a devil mask.

The plot then skips ahead seven years to 1984. Another vague Christian denomination group is test camping at Happy Day Bible Camp to see if it's worth buying. Leading this collection of misfits and dead people walking is one Father Reggie (Reggie Bannister). Sadly this is the point where the script starts to drag because of the who's the killer shell game, crude jokes, and setting up the victims for their slaughter. The jokes are funny and the set up for the third act blood bath is needed but the whole pace of the film just stops.

Eventually the movie crawls to the third act. The murderous nun in the devils mask makes her reappearance and the campers and staff start dropping in amusing fashion. The movie also shifts in tone from tongue in cheek tone to full on camp mockery of the slasher genre. To highlight this, the first person killed is decapitated with great practical effects whereas later the nun kills a girl with a crucifix and penetrating a notorious body cavity. Ron Jeremy makes an amusing and blasphemous cameo.

Overall this is a fun and weird movie. It's a love letter to slasher movies from the seventies and eighties but it is not afraid to make fun of those movies as well. The movie falls down when it come to it's characters and it's pace. The characters are stereotypical cardboard cutouts for comedic purposes most of the time. Like the ditzy girl with nudity in her contract, the dumb fat guy, a few variations on the jock stereotype. Not all the characters are like this but there are enough of them that it does distract from the movie. The pacing issues seem to stem from padding so the movie can get a ninety minute run time.

This is a sold rental and or streaming film for fans of raunchy humor. Also a great film to show at your party for coming out as an atheist.

MVT: Ron Jeremy's cameo. I know it's dickish to not talk about why but it is a spoiler. The spoiler free version is the man can act and is funny, especially in this role.

Make or Break: It's a minor and petty break. But I really would have like Father Reggie to have pulled out a four barreled shot gun.

Score: 5.15 out of 10

Tetherball: The Movie (2010)

Directed by: Chris Nickin
Runtime: 90 minutes

Time for something completely different. This unapologetically crude and amusing film is about three and a half friends who enter the strange world of semiprofessional tetherball competition.

The story follows Zach, Alex, Mikey, and sometimes Joe. Zack is a failed boxer and starting to get tired that his life has not changed since college. Alex is allergic to latex, can only get sexually aroused by women dressed in furry costumes, and has ten to thirteen kids. And Mikey who has been a functioning alcoholic since he was thirteen years old. They all work at a direct marketing company that sells offensive t-shirts and is managed by Joe, Mikey's brother and the only reason they are all employed.

Zach is unimpressed with his life and the fact that nothing has changed since college. So after a night of drinking Zack, Alex, and Mikey end up in a playground at six in the morning and play tetherball to sober up. This leads to tetherball becoming a popular sport on the internet. This also leads to Jack White (played by Ron Jeremy) and his son Vince White setting up a tetherball league.

So Zack, Alex, Mikey, and Joe end up being both sport heroes and internet celebrities. However this has not removed compilations from their lives. Joe becomes estranged from his wife in the most humiliating way possible. Mikey girlfriend wants him to be sober. Alex's negativity could tear the team apart. And Zack is not willing to deal with the reason that made him quit boxing. Also Jack and Vince White are trying to see which one of them Zack will sleep with.

Overall this is a fun film and it is nice to see crude humor that is not mean as well. Unlike anything Adam Sandler has produced in the last ten years. Also Dustin Diamond gave an amusing and strange performance as Coach McAger. This is a great film to rent or stream with a group of good friends and some great drinks. Or if you can't get annoying and very politically correct people to leave, put this movie on.

MVT: The writer took the time to explain how competitive tetherball would be played out. Including how penalties work. It made me laugh.

Make or Break: What made this movie for me is the way it took all the beats and cliches of sports hero's journey and did something interesting with it.

Score: 6.9 out of 10