Chester County Deer Whisperer Wannabe Keeps Dreaming.

Here's a picture I took near my West Whiteland, PA neighborhood of a herd of deer a few weeks ago. Everytime I see some deer, I try to softly approach them to see how close I can get. You know, how Injuns do in the movies.

But I can never get really close. I honestly think that the way that I creep up, I'm going to be kind of like the Dog Whisperer but with deer. Then the deer are going to circle around me and we'll become friends. I might even get on the back of the leader - Staggs McCoy - and he'll take me for a ride.

"Hey Dr Zibbs. Can you teach me to train deer?"

"I can't teach one to train deer my friend. It's all in here." (points to heart then rides Stags McCoy away - jumping over a fence and disappearing from view).

It never happens though. They just run. Stupid deer.

Maybe I'll just chuck a rock at them next time.

Don't Have A Terrible, Sad and Heartbreaking Christmas

So I hope you don't have a Christmas like the one I had in 5th grade. (warning: sad story ahead. Get tissues ready and prepare to feel sorry for me).

You see, I had gotten in the habit of sneaking into my parent's attic before Christmas to see what I was getting. So I go up there and there's this huge box. This box was the shape of a refrigerator box but a bit smaller. Probably the size of a casket you'd bury a dwarf in. A little bigger than that. A dwarf wearing platform shoes and an Abe Lincoln hat. Yeah, that big of a box. What? I'm trying to set the scene.

Anyways, on the gigantic box are these kids sitting at a command center. It looked like friggin' NASA, but with 70's kids.

"Ready for blast off Timmy?"

"Over and out Jeffrey."

It was some type of telescope command center. It was at the back of the attic so I was too nervous to climb to the back and see exactly what it was.

So Christmas morning comes and I open my regular presents. The Panapet, Panasonic Ball radio (see picture above). Danny O'Day dummy. Mad Magazine books. But where the hell was my space command center?

So after looking all over I then asked my parents,

Me: Is that it?

Mom: Is that it? Look at all the stuff you got.

Me: What about that huge space center?

Mom: What?

Me: That huge box in the attic with the kids working on those huge machines.

Mom: Oh that. That was your cousin Mark's from years ago. I needed a really big box last time I was at your Aunt Margarete's so she gave me the box. Did you want one of those*?

Me: (close up of confused face - camera zooms in closer to show empty feeling - super close up of eyes turning slightly teary) Oh. (sadness and disappointment suppress deep, deep inside the little boy's soul)

.....And Merry Christmas!

*In way, I guess we all lost on that day. Could you imagine if I had gotten that thing? And I got totally into science? Imagine how space travel, robots and all things sciencey might be different today. We'll never know.