Messing With The Lunch Of A Jerk. Revenge.

I’m not saying this story is true.

But I’m also not saying it’s false.

But suppose I used to work with someone. And this person was a a-hole. Like in meetings she would just snap at not just me – but at everyone. You know the type. Just a big jerk and a bully. Accusing everyone of false things, not being a team player, narcing people out.

So suppose then I realized that she always brought her lunch in a red cooler. So one day I crushed the chips.

And she went all bat shit telling everyone that her chips were crushed. Everyone acted shocked but was secretly happy.

Then a week later I dropped staples and crinkled post-its in the cooler. And a few weeks later I took a single bite out of the sandwich.

Do my alleged deeds even things up? Probably.

Confession Of Something I Did In High School. Insulation.

I've got a quick confession. In 11th grade* the "joke" in gym class was to hide shoes so when the bell when off you'd be late for class.

So when somebody did it to me I got pissed.

So the next gym day, I broke into the locker of the dude that did it and rubber fiber glass insulation that I got from my attic in the crotch region of his pants. So we're standing in line for the bell to ring and I see him itching his pants. Then itching a bit more. Face getting all nervous. Then he ran over to his locker.

The bell rings.

I see him later in the hall and he was wearing gym shorts.

Lesson: Don't fuck with me because I will get **revengey on your ass.

*Sorry if I posted this before. I was too lazy to look it up.
** I hereby claim the word "revengey".