Resusci Anne Was A Creep Fest! Mary C Howse Elementary Made Me Do This In 4th Grade!

*Points old straggly finger at Anne and talks like a ghost* "Kiiiiissss Meeee. KIIIISSSSS MEEEEE!!!"

Did you guys have to do the CPR Resusci Anne when you were in school? Where you had to perform CPR on this creepy ass dummy? I did. In FOURTH grade!! Then again in Seventh. But fourth grade. What were they thinking?

I remember thinking it was kind of scary but looking around the room some of the kids were terrified. Trying not to act nervous. And some were just super embarrassed that they were going to have to put their lips on this actual sized body and blow into it as the whole class watched. "Oh so THAT'S how you would kiss a girl? Oh I see."

I'm thinking of finding out how to volunteer at schools so I can be the person that teaches the kids.....

Like I would go into some schools in the South and make some of the racist kids do CPR on the black male Anne. Holding my clipboard I'd say, "So. You love blacks AND you're gay. Interesting." Maybe rig it so when their lips approach I pump something and it appears that the male Anne is getting a boner. Or just ugly it up with a mane of matted nose hair extending down right above the lips.

Or I would get really close to the kid and say something and when they turned around I'd be wearing one of these Anne masks and whisper, "Join us!"

And I'd choose one special kid that would get these baby Annes. Placed in their bed at night. And they would wake up to the sound of recorded voices saying, "Dad da. Dad da...."

Yeah I gotta get on that.

This Kind Of Picture Makes Me Laugh Out Loud. Greek God.

This kind of picture just cracks me up. A person in a weird mask. This is my son in second grade. I just found it. I said to him, "I don't remember this. What are you supposed to be?"

"Some kind of Greek god we had to make up."

Ha! Look at it. Pretty creepy if you ask me.

Danny O'Day Ventriloquist Dummy (Figure) Now In My Possession. Creepy.

"Whu r you doi oher dare?"

Sorry, that was me talking "Ventriloquist" - what I was saying was, "What are you doing over there?" You could tell though. Right?

Remember when I told you (probably via Twitter) that I was at my Mom's and there was an unclothed ventriloquist dummy aka Danny O'Day smooshed in a plastic bag by her front door? Which in itself was freaky because it looked like a corpse. A tiny, lipstick wearing corpse.

I asked what it was all about and it turns out it was my nephew's but he was so freaked out by it my sister had to just "get it out of the house".

Well his loss is my gain. My Mom waited to give it to me because she had to get the clothes for it before she gave it to me. You know, because "it just wouldn't be complete"...I guess was the thinking.

So now it's mine. All mine. And I'll have you know that I had this very dummy when I was a kid and was kind of good at using it. I even "studied" ventriloquism. Well, if studying means reading a "book of tips" and practicing in my room that is.

And I've already had great fun freaking my family out with it by doing things like peaking it's head in a room and making it mouth things like, "MUST. KILL." And I've only had it for a day! Imagine what the next 30 years holds?!

*And note that MY Danny O'Day is not dressed like the nerd in the picture above. MY Danny O'Day is all classy with his tux and top hat. Eat that bitches!

BREAKING NEWS: A Ventriloquist Dummy Might Find A New Home! Creepy.

I was at my mom's the other day. She always leaves bags of things for us at the door so we doesn't forget to take the stuff she's either bought for us or wants to get rid of. It's usually cakes and pastries or magazines and coupons.

So I look down on the floor and I see something curled up in a white plastic bag*. Guess what it was? Yup! A Danny O'Day Ventriloquist dummy. Just like the one I used to have when I was a kid.

And I've got to tell you - it looked super creepy curled up in a plastic bag. Like it was a dead body. I should have taken a picture.

So then when I was over my sister's house the other day I was telling her about it and she said it was her son's but it was creeping the kids out so much that she needed to get it out of the house. They were terrified by it. She then said my mom put it in a bag by the door because, "She knows you like things like that".

Excellent. When I get it I'm totally gonna use the Flip camera and film it. Maybe I'll do a blog question and answer with it. What do you think? What is the best use for this figure (ventriloquist jargon for dummies).

*If I took a picture of the dummy in the bag it could be used on the movie poster of a movie I could make about a family that keeps trying to get rid of a haunted dummy. It could be called, "Don't Forget To Take Out The Trash" or "Just Put It In A Bag".

Scary and Creepy Santa Jamboree! Ho, Ho, Kill? Christmas Nightmares.

Here's a nice collection of creepy and scary Santas to haunt your dreams. Which is your favorite?


"Cindy. Now I told you. Don't talk. Just look at the camera and I might return you to your family. IF...they're still alive."



(In robot voice) "MUST KILL!"



There's something very fishy about that glove.



Do you know why there's a "no face here" sign? Because she actually has no face. Damn you Santa! How could you?!



"I am your honorable Santa. You will be very pleased with the various fine clothing products I shall bring that are made from the finest silks from far away lands".




Yeah right. What Santa holds a staff like that? Look at the dainty finger positioning. You know he's about to break into song and dance.

Weird Sylvania Commercial From Strange Land Creepy.

Here's the final video in TBY Creepy Video Weekend. I know the weekend is over but I wish it weren't.

It's a commercial for Sylvania. It was filmed in a strange, faraway land where it's normal to have picnics in cemeteries.

Seriously, what's up with the dude flying on that stick??

Memorial Day Food Thoughts. Chris Elliot Scary And Creepy. TBY

When you're about to bite into your burger, hot dog, chicken or steak today, I'd like you to close your eyes for a minute.

Once your eyes are closed, imagine that the food you are about to eat was prepared by this Chris Elliot character from Scary Movie.

Now open your eyes. Bon Appetit' with TBY creepy video #5.

Electric Boogaloo. 1980 Creepin'. Soul Train Dancing Brothers.

...I'm Dr Zibbs and I my Boogaloo specialty is puppet-tronics...

So how did this 1980 Soul Train Boogaloo video make it onto TBY Creepy Video Weekend? The first guy says that his style is "creepin'". At least I think that's what he said. Does anyone know "Seddy Williams"? ...The creepin' guy? Maybe we can get him to clairify.

And it looks like the fourth dude - the guy who specializes in puppetry is a bit embarrassed when he tells Don Cornelius his dancing specialty of puppetry. Be proud my friend. Be proud.



What's YOUR Boogaloo specialty?

Creepiness and 1950's Gym Teacher Sex Talk Video. Puberty.

When I'm asked to travel the east coast and give sex talks to uncomfortable kids about sex, I make sure I have two things handy: My whistle and my magic marker drawings of sex organs.

Not really. But this creepy gym teacher from the 1950's does. Here is the #3 video in the TBY creepy video weekend series. Enjoy.

Baby Laugh A Lot. More Creepy Commercials. Dolls. Remco.

I declare the rest of the weekend TBY creepy video weekend. And with that I give you.....Baby Laugh A Lot by Remco.

The only thing creepier than the doll are the choppers on the chick at 17 seconds in.

Sweet Jesus.

Drive-In Hot Dog Commercial is Soooo Over Doing It. Creepy Dude.

Check out this drive-In theater hot dog commercial trying to get you to buy a crappy drive-in hot dog. Then, read my thoughts on the commercial.



- Hot dogs are fine on a picnic but "at their best" at the drive-in? Don't make me laugh narrator. Don't make me laugh.

- You cook the hot dog until it's "just right"? You mean until it's "done"? How gourmet of you.

- Mustard, ketchup and relish are seasonings? Wait. Hit the breaks here..You're kidding right?

- Who is that creepy looking Dad in the car narrator? Is it you? It is you isn't it? Did you just come from work? Why are you wearing those clothes to a drive-in? And it looks like you started to yell it that kid in the front seat the second the director said cut! Didn't you? Telling him that he better be appreciating his drive-in hot dog. Yeah you did!

Man you are a DICK! Now go get me a hot dog.

It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin. An Exclusive Glimpse Into My Bedroom.

I like to show my lady that I still think she's sexy by giving her as little privacy as possible when she's nude. You know, so I can leer at it and make comments about how sexy it is and the things I want to do to it. Like when she's in the shower for instance, I'll sometimes open the curtain quickly and say, "A-HA!" or "What's going on in here?"

Or this morning.

Wife comes in bedroom after shower, puts on panties then starts putting lotion all over her supple, Italian body. I wait in the semi darkness with one eye creepily peering out from under the covers.

Me: (In deep voice) And then the lotion show began.

Wife: What? You want me to have soft skin don't you?

Me: Do you need some help applying the lotion on the upper areas. Right there. On those things.

Wife: Will you stop?

Me: Stop (pause)...or go?

Smooth operator.

Here's A Real Creepy Nightmare I Had Last Night

This is a real nightmare I had last night. This is not a joke. Some creepy dude had me locked in a wooden coffin. I heard him telling someone on the outside that he would release me under the following conditions:

1) He wanted samples of my hair. All hair, including eyelashes and nether region hair.
2) He wanted a skin scraping sample.
3) He wanted a silhouette outline of my body straight on as well as sideways. And he clarified that the side view should include an outline when I was erect. WHAT THE HELL!!??

Now it gets even creepier. I got a call out of the blue IN REAL LIFE on Friday from someone I haven't spoken to since high school. He left a voicemail. He wanted to know how things have been. I have no plans to call him back because I'm sure he's going to want to get together. The creepy thing is - he was the dude in the nightmare! But aged and scrawny and serial killerish. AHHHHHHH!

What do you think this means?

Blogger Emerges From Hangover Coma And Speaks

How meeting me changes lives (and probably helps sick kids too). To read this blogger testimonial, click here.

A Video About Foot Care And Gypsies Made By Me

I post a lot of videos but this is one of the few made by me. Conceived, written and acted - by me. Dr Zibbs. My voice to your ears. Well....my own voice imitating what I think a gypsy lady would sound like.

Since you don't know what my real voice sounds like you'll have to trust me when I tell you that I should win an award for this. When I hear it I often ask, "Hey, who let that Gypsy Lady in here? What's going on here?" Then I realize that the voice is actually mine and I slowly release my clenched hands from my wallet. You know those gypsy. Thieves.

I've posted it before but thought my new readers might like to view it. To see it, hold onto your hats and click here.

And while you're on You Tube, feel free to email it to your friends. All of your friends. Seriously.

You Think I'm Creepy Check This Out

So in reference to my blogger girl calendar post, Jon suggested that I add the months of Stalktober and Creepuary. I'm still laughing at that. I don't understand what he's referring to, but I'm still laughing at that.

But on the subject of creepy, check this out.

The Creepy Film About Your Changing Body

Guys, I need you to go and check the oil in your car. I need to have a private word with my lady readers. ....are they gone? Good.

OK ladies, It's wonderful being a girl. But did you know that the uterus is no larger than the size of a pear? Or that the ovaries are no larger than walnuts? And that fallopian tubes are not an amusement ride? It's true. The problem is that when the movie you were shown in 5th grade was playing, you weren't listening. Were you?

I think we all need a refresher course*. And coming from an anonymous blogger that you've never met that claims to be a doctor, I think you can trust me when I say, "Please watch this creepy film about menstruation that was made in the 1960's to teach gals about their changing bodies." Then when a gal pal ask you if it's OK to wash your hair while menstruating, you'll feel confident about giving them the correct answer.



*Although this film says it's safe to bowl while menstruating, this film was made in the 1960's so bowl at your own risk.

West Chester Blogger Announces Clown Weekend

It's official. I've decided that That Blue Yak will be having it's FIRST ANNUAL CLOWN WEEKEND. Starting now. And who doesn't love clowns? So plan to check back all weekend to see videos of everything clown related. Make a party out of it. Tell your friends. Don't have friends? This might be the perfect opportunity to stop a stranger on the street and make a friend,

"Excuse me. We don't know each other but would you like to come to my house and watch clown stuff together? Seriously - no funny business. Just clown stuff."

Who knows...you might have a new friend at the end of the weekend.

Also, whoever leaves the funniest comment - will receive the title of THAT BLUE YAK FIRST ANNUAL CLOWN WEEKEND GRAND MARSHAL OF CLOWN. Now I give you -"Evil Clown Dancing":

Fringe - This TV Show You've Got To See

I'm watching Fringe right now and let me just tell you that I love it already! Some chick was just was screaming and had to be rushed to the hospital. As she gave birth, the doctors are looking down in horror. One of them pukes.

In the next scene, they explain that the "baby" kept growing aka advanced rapid aging. On the floor is a bloody, dead old man. Yup. Great, creepy fun.

West Chester Blogger Invents Cool, Creepy Gift

My good blog friend Gwen had a great post the other day about the Hug Me Pillow that's offered at Overstock.com. It's a creepy half torso pillow that the ladies can snuggle up to when their man it out of town - (I hear it's also used by the fatties and butterfaces that can't bag a man so they have to settle for a freakish, soon to be tear soaked pillow). Some love is better than none I guess. But who am I to judge?

Anyways, I hate to say, "Whoops -I did it again." - but dagnabit I did. One day I'm inventing Words, Voice Motions - a popular game that's about to be in stores. And the next, I'm making up a song (100% by myself) called "Bubble Up" and the phrase "Bubble Up" is sweeping the nation too. But instead of the phrase coming from the ghetto and movie Up the chain, like, "Hi Holmes? How are you today?" OR "I think I'd prefer to get Jiggy with that thing", my Bubble Up expression has started in my multi-million dollar That Blue Yak headquarters and is moving DOWN the chain. Go figure!

Well, here it is. I unveil to you - "the limited edition, extra fingered Indian dude's hand Hug-A-Lot Pillow". It's pretty much like the Hug Me Pillow but with the added bonus of an Indian dude's hand that has an extra finger on it. I'm also thinking about perfuming the hand with that cologne that Indian people use. So it's authentic and all.

The name is a bit wordy so I'm going to give my readers the opportunity to name the product. Please free to suggest tag lines as well. The winner will receive a Zagnut bar.