Happy 4th 2012. Listen To This And Be Proud. Ray Charles.

Man if this song from Ray doesn't make you feel patriotic nothing will. Happy forph of July everyone!

Some Random Things About Me. Travel Edition. China. Italy.

Freestyle!

Here are some random things that happened one time to me (travel edition):

- This one time in Shenzen, China the factory owner said, "You want women? I send TWO women to your room". I declined.

- This one time in Nashville two chicks grabbed my package. In one night. In one bar!

- This one time in Milan I jumped on the bed with five of my coworkers at three in the morning.

- This one time in Long Beach, California while partying with coworkers a lesbian bit the finger of a straight coworker because she wouldn't dance with her. We laughed like hell because the coworker was a prude.

- One time on a flight from Dallas to Denver I sat next to a 350 pound man that was going to an ice makers convention.

- One time in Frankfurt, Germany the chamber maid walked in as I was walking out of the shower. She was there to turn back the bed.

- One time in Ship Bottom, NJ (as a kid) I hated the vitamins that I was supposed to take so everyday I would throw them under the porch and I got busted by the mom of the family we were with. Thanks Mrs. Brophy.

- This one time in Yiwu, China hundreds of people stopped and looked at me because they never saw a white person before.

- This one time in Virgina Beach I went down a water slide and it gave me an enema.

- This one time in Toledo - I was in a car being driven from Chicago to PA with my cousin) the song, "Shake Your Booty" was on. He said, "Do you know what a booty is?" I said, "Yeah". He said, "What is it?" I said, "I don't know". He Said, "It's a butt". I said, "OK".

Any questions?

Chester County Presidential Candidate Searches For Running Mates

Hello my fellow Americans. As you know, I've tossed my hat - a multicolored sombrero with kickass 3 foot peacock feather into the presidential arena. That's right, like L and S, I like to do it my (our) way. I could announce, like a fool , a running mate. Instead, I need three running mates. Yup. Double the pleasure - plus 1 (that's what she said).

Please leave your suggestion for running mates in the comments. They may be considered. On the short list so far are Chim-Chim, Charo and Buddy Hacket.

In the mean time, go to the post below to see the amazing story - in video format - about my 2008 run for the whitehouse.

"Dr Zibbs - watch out sucka' - I'm onna get ya!" (this means you Barack and McCain)