Lucy The Elephant Survives Hurricane Sandy. I'm In The Butt of And Elephant!

How did you guys survive Sandy? OK over here in Chester County, PA. Actually only a few limbs around and some creek flooding as far as I saw in my parts. But the Jersey shore got hammered. I just however saw something on the news saying that Lucy the Elephant survived. There's the picture above.

In case you don't know Lucy is a historic building shaped like an elephant and it resides in Margate, NJ. I just had to laugh when they mentioned Lucy because I just think of the time when I was on vacation at the shore and I took my son there. He was about three at the time. Well you go inside of Lucy and you sit crossed legged on the floor as this ancient tour guide gives a half hour presentation about the history of Lucy. And trust me when I tell you it was without doubt the most boring tour that I've ever been on.

In a monotone voice he was saying things like, "....and then when renovations began in 1922 several members of the preservation board such as Martin T McLeary, Samuel Meller and Morris Jones pushed to have an extra $1200 allocated to refurbish the legs that some thought were weakened in a storm the previous year. Council President Harry L. Morrison - also the owner of Morrison and Flint Feed Store - was in agreement but thought $900 would suffice. So the renovation was stalled for a period of 4 months...."

And it went on and on. I looked around and everyone was just looking around the room, rubbing their hands on the floor, looking up at the roof, at their watches. Ten minutes later when you thought it was done he says, "And they finally agreed on  $1000 for the renovation. But that wasn't the end of it. In 1927...."

Just then my son let out the biggest sigh of boredom that echoed in the tiny wooden room, "hhhh ahhhhhhhh!!!"

Everyone turned around and looked at him and started laughing. They were all fighting off the same sigh. Seriously, if you're going to have a tour about something like Lucy the Elephant at least mention his sphincter window:.....

"Look at meeeeeeee! I'm in the butt of a giant elephant!"

"Timmy sit down! They're about to discuss the bidding process that was involved when they redid the steps in 1976!"

This One Time At Gillian's In Ocean City. Scrambler.

This may sound mean but I’m stating the facts.

Years ago while vacationing with the family in Ocean City New Jersey we went up to Gillians Wonderland Pier with the kids. Gillians is on the boardwalk and has rides for the tots.

We’d usually get our happy hour in, then fill up a water bottle with booze to sip on during the time we had to spend at Gillians. Well, I would bring the booze water bottle but the others were babies so they didn’t. Well, I think my friend Debbie later did. I forget.

Actually that part of the story doesn’t even matter. Here’s what does. We’re standing at the “Scrambler” - you know, that ride where you sit and it looks like a giant spider? And it spins and stretches it’s long legs?

So I’m standing next to the ride operator and every so often when one of the cars swings over for the split second near us I could hear someone saying, “Stop the ride.”

Then it would go away. Then, “I gotta get off!”

Then it was gone.

Well it turns out that there was a retarded man in one of the cars that obviously wanted to get off. And the ride operator - a eighteen year old kid - was just looking at him. And kind of smiling. In a demented way. As if saying, “You can ask me to stop the ride as many times as you want Pal but it ain’t happening. Because I’m having too much fun torturing you.” It was so obvious he heard the dude screaming to stop the ride.

It’s the kind of thing where somebody should have stepped in but…you know… the management office was all the way back there and all so….

And here’s what’s even funnier, I look on the other side of the operator and the retarded man’s family is leaning up against the gate. And they’re laughing. Hysterically. I mean roaring with laughter.

The car would approach, “STOP THE RIDE!”

And a family member would yell, “Nope! You wanted to go on it!”

This went on for a good five minutes or so. There’s no real ending to the story. He didn’t throw up or anything but I just saw a picture of a scrambler and remembered the story. It’s pretty wrong don’t you think? Funny. But wrong.

Best Food Ever. Cajun Kates Gumbo. NJ Bagel. Crotch Pains.

Do you ever eat something and declare, "That's the best one of those I ever had"?

I think a lot of people don't do it because they think, "I must have a had a better one at some point"*.

But not me. Last week I had the best Gumbo I've ever had. I got it at Cajun Kates at the Booths Corner Farmers Market. After every bite I felt like saying, "Uhhh. Uhhh. This is the best I ever had". But nobody was there to annoy so I silently ate it.

Then, this weekend I had a bagel while I was in Scotch Plains, NJ. I forget the name of the place, so maybe Mr or Mrs CrotchPains can chime in.

It was an everything bagel. It had the perfect chewiness to it and the flavor was "far out" as the hippies used to say.

So what did you have in the past few months that you could declare was the best ever? Hmmm..

*And some of you people never want to declare that something you just ate is the best because you're the type that says, "That's the best you ever had? I've had so much better". Because you need to top everyone. If someone says their dad is the president, you have to say, "Oh yeah, my Dad is God". ....you know who you are.

Scotch Plains NJ Here I Come. Some Dude Named Steve. Crotch Pains.

So in about a half hour my wife and I are driving up to Scotch Plains New Jersey to visit our friends Steve and Debbie. You might know Steve by his "trying to be clever" name of CrotchPains. He's left comments on TBY. (See what he did there? Scotch Plains became Crotch Pains? ...With the rhyme and all? ..

Do YOU live near the exotic town of Scotch Plains New Jersey? How are you going to celebrate my visit to the region? Are you going to line the streets with banners and flags? If you do, I am so throwing gum and hard candy out to you. Pretend it's a parade.

It should be a good time. Always a great time with the two of them. We'll probably start drinking right away. Then, tomorrow when I get home, I have our neighborhood beer exchange/Eagles game.

I better go hydrate myself.

And if you follow me in Twitter at @DrZibbs, read my twitter feed and pretend YOU'RE on the trip. Come on, lets go!

Sea Isle City and People That Don't Have Friends.

Unlike a lot of you that spend all of their time online because they don't have friends in real life I have lots of friends.

In fact, I'll be spending the weekend with about 13 of my longest running friends down in Sea Isle City New Jersey.

Of the 13, eight of them were in my house at Senior Week. That's pretty good. Everyone's done pretty well too. Some of the careers of the lads include:

- lawyer
- commercial banker
- Something to do with the Internet and data bases.
- 8 grade Science teacher
- Something to do with working with the United Nations but we think he's really a CIA agent.
- Helicopter pilot for customs.
- Sales Rep
- DEA agent.
- Stay at Home Dad
- Mime

OK the last one I made up but...

So do any of you have old friends that you still see?

And more importantly, which one of these guys do you think I'm going to fart on first? My bet is on the Science Teacher.

1970's Am Radio Ideal Commercial - Philly and NJ

"It's not a fancy salon - it's just a quonset hut." If these words sound familiar, you listened to AM radio in the Philly and New Jersey area in the 1970's. This radio spot was on all the time. The classic line was, "Take the wheel of you automobile and swing on down to....Ideal."

Apparently it was on Route 30 - the White Horse Pike in Jersey in Hammonton. Even though my mom had a passion for fashion AND a craving for savings, I don't think we ever went there. It probably had something to do with the quonset hut - it sounds too foreign and different.

To here the song, click the word SAVINGS