I Need Some Ideas For A Blog Post. Suggestion Box.

I never thought I would say this but I need some ideas for a blog post. With over 1200 posts, you start to run out of ideas. You know?

I'm sure I can think of something to write but I had to at least get a post up today. And I'd like to make you - the reader - feel like you're contributing. It feels pretty good doesn't it?

So what do you want me to write about? Something you want to know about me? My opinion on something? Clarification of something? Something in my childhood? A teenage story? Beauty tips?

Let me know in the comments. Enter as many suggestions as you want.

Father Kelly and My Christina Applegate Connection. Twitter.

So as I mentioned last week, Sarah Silverman is following my Father Kelly character on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/FatherKelly

So the drama continues. On Friday, I noticed that I was getting a few followers every minute. I couldn't figure it out until someone DM's me and told me that Chistina Applegate (AKA @1capplegate) mentioned me on Twitter. She said:

#followfriday umm seriously funny @fatherkelly to any of my catholic followers, please do not take offense. all in good fun

Pretty cool huh? And she only follows 45 people. I look though her feed and she's mentioned Sarah Silverman so I think she found me on the list of who Sarah Silverman is following.

Then, to add the icing on the cake, I get a message from someone at Paste magazine saying I was listed in an article titled, "The Top 10 Unique, Funny or Usefull Twitter Users You Should Follow Right Now". They wrote,

5. Father Kelly - FatherKelly
In which someone in Chester County, Pa. pretends to be a Catholic priest to make religion-themed jokes.
Unique, Funny or Useful: Funny
Best Recent Tweet: A Carnie asked me to bless him. I panicked and said "Uhh..let me go get my magic wand". Then I avoided him.
Runner Up: This is BULLSHIT! I wasn't LEARING at Sister Anne while she was eating that banana! I just happened to be in stare mode!
Extra Credit: The CCD nerds gave me some "art" made from dry macaroni and yarn. Helloooo trashcan.

(To read the entire article, click: here )The weird thing is, I've had my blog since 2006 and no famous people read it (except for this person). Just you guys. I start Twitter with the Father Kelly character and I get two famous people reading it and a magazine mention. What gives?

So who would like to guess what's going to happen next?

(Please don't say "nothing").

And I know it's a bit premature, but once I get 20 famous people reading my Tweets I'm going to have a big party with them and...are you ready for this?...With 20 of you!

So please let me know what YOU can add to the party if I invite you. I will also tell you up front that you might also have to share with the catering duties. It depends how much the party costs.

Blogs, Link Love, And How To Make Friends In The Blog World.

I've been blogging for a while. And I've always made it a point to write posts about other blogs that I like. Most people that have been reading my blog for a while know that I've been really generous when it comes to the amount of bloggers that I link to in posts.

And it's not just so they'll link back to me. Even though they do. I really do love to watch a blog that has nobody reading it start to grow. And even though I write all this crazy stuff, I love the people that are writing these posts. It's such a part of my life now. Nothing like being out and around and having a bunch of comments to read on my blackberry.

It took me ages to have people read my blog. If you look at the early days of my blog - nobody was reading it. Nobody. I'd write a post then ask, "What do you think?" (cricket, cricket) But all it really took was to start commenting on other blogs.

So here's a post from Candy that really made me feel great. Really great. To view it, click here.

And on a related note. Are you a lurker or someone that hasn't left a comment in a while? Go ahead, leave one now.

Blogger's Choice Award. Who Wants To Nominate Me?

So if you click here - you can see the Blogger's Choice Awards. I was going to nominate yourself but I don't want to look like one of those people that tries to promote his blog.

..hahaha - not that YOU guys don't know that. I'm thinking about the potential future bloggers that might be reading my blog.

So does anyone want to nominate me? If you do, it'll say right there on the page that YOU were the person that nominated me. And you will hold a special place in my heart until the end time.

Girl Interupted Makes Me Happy. And Prunella DeVille. Blog Love.

I've got a very important announcement. I've got to tell you that I love blogging more than ever. And I love the people that reach out to me. Not all of them. Some will reach out and I'll pretend that I never got their emails. But then there are the super stars that have blogs that are so great and their comments are so funny that I really wish I could meet them in real life. One is an English blogger I've mentioned recently called Girl Interupted. In a recent post she wrote:

"Dr Zibbs of the infamous That Blue Yak ... because there's no denying it, he's quite simply "The Daddy" of all bloggers and no respectable blog-party would be seen dead without him in attendance ... plus he wouldn't want to miss all the pudding-wrestling "

What a wise gal. The link to the post is here. And I may steal the idea she did for this post because it's great and I was kind of thinking about doing a similar post anyway.

Then, you've got the blogger Prunella DeVille. Also hysterical but has a different style.

And do you know what? They're both beautiful! Funny and hot. Do you know how rare that is? It's the deadliest combination that I know of.

I just really love when bloggers reach out and say hi. Especially the super talents like these two.

And on a side note, there are many blogs that I read that aren't funny, they're just really interesting. Which is great too. It just so happens that these two are super interesting AND funny. If you don't go and bookmark their blogs now - you're crazy.

Willie Wonka, Smoking Weed, Gene Wilder And Film.

How many people in their younger days watched a movie or TV show while stoned and said, "Oh they had to be stoned while making this. Holy Shit! They HAD to be stoned."

Then, when you're not high, you realize, nobody was high during the filming. It was you that was high you lightweight. Keep it up and I'm gonna put the "magic box" on your stoned ass and you're gonna freak.

But then you watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and you really question what I just said above. Someone at least was smoking some weed - possibly tripping during the writing or directing of this scene where Gene Wilder goes through the tunnel*. Here it is:





*I know that they were smoking weed during Easy Rider and Caddyshack had tons of coke on set. Maybe some of my movie buff readers like Earl or Words, Words, Words can let us know what other movies were heavily drug influenced during filming.

Snow In Chester County Reminds Blogger Of Funny Blog Post About Dead Dude.

Looking at the snow today reminded me of the heat. And reminded me of the heat reminded me of this one post I wrote during a recent heat wave. And THAT reminded me of how great it is when you write a post then you look at it later and it's funnier than when you wrote it.

So if you want to read something I wrote that was just cracking my ass up, click here.

Blogging Doesn't Take That Much Time You A-hole! Message to Jerk Non Bloggers.

I'm tired of non blogging people saying to me,

"You have a blog? Looks like you have a lot of time on your hands."

I'm so sick of that statement because here is my procedure:

1) I have lists of things to post. Half of the ideas I come up with while I'm driving or lying in bed. When I think of the idea - I write the subject down.

2) Then I sit and write the post. Most posts take from 2 minutes to 20 minutes to write. I'm not lying - I have the idea and I write it as fast as I'd write an email to a friend. You can probably tell by some of my errors. After the post is written, I look for a photo. I go to Google Images and it takes no more than 1 minutes. Ever.

3) If I have to add links, that sometimes takes a few more minutes especially if I have to get links from certain posts from blogs.

4) I also am always prepared for posting by having some Youtube videos saved as well as various pictures on my computer that I want to blog about. And I usually have a few half written posts set up in blogger so I'm ready to go.

Honestly, the most time consuming part of blogging for me is commenting on other's blogs. Do these non bloggers ever watch TV or play golf? Those things take time. What's the difference? At least I'm creating something that's making people laugh. And maybe saving lives. Stupid jerks!

So what's your procedure. And for all of my non blogging judgemental readers/friends - Kiss My Grits!

Facebook, Blogs, Twitter And People I Don't Want To Be Friends With.

Here are some of my thoughts on Facebook, Blogs and Twitter. I've put them in list form for ease of reading and memorization.

1. Almost all of my Facebook friends are bloggers.

2. The few real life friends I have on Facebook are friends that won't blow my cover. And believe me, I have shitload of real life friends. I'm not some loser.

3. My real last name isn't Zibbs but real friends are slowly finding me and requesting to be friends. Some I want to be friends with but most I don't want to because I'm afraid they'll blow my cover. Like mentioning my name in a blog comment.

4. I also don't want to be Facebook friends with people that I haven't seen in years that I never really liked much anyway.

5. There are real life friends of friends that I want to write posts about but I would never be able to if these people become Facebook friends of mine. What am I supposed to do? Mentally keep track of what stories I can't tell? And do you realize I haven't even scratched the surface of things to post about? I've got years of true life stuff that I haven't even touched on yet and I'm already feeling stifled because my sister's now read my blog. Once in a while.

6. I don't have the desire to share my entire life with everyone anyway on Facebook. "Oh you couldn't make it to my party because you were sick huh? Then why do you have those pictures of yourself in Philly on Facebook?" I don't need that crap.

7. Who the hell uses Twitter? More importantly, who gives a crap about what people are doing every minute of the day? Unless of course it's coming from me. Remember about when I was looking at that bird last week? Do people EVER post anything interesting on Twitter? I don't get it. Unless someone has been kidnapped or there's a burgler in their house - Twitter is boring. "OH MY GOD - HE'S COMING UP THE STEPS!"

8. How to you post a link on Facebook so I can do it and promote my blog more? I'm sure it's easy to figure out but I don't feel like figuring it out.

9. I've been debating putting pictures of myself on Facebook because honestly, I'd be frustrated as hell if I read someones blog for a year but had no idea what they looked like. On the other hand, I kind of like the mystery. I just can't decide. If you're a regular reader and would like to be my Facebook friend, send me a request. If you're a real life friend that wants to be my Facebook friend get in line. Then you'll be ready if and when I reveal myelf. And honestly, it's less about keeping the mystery and more about people finding out who I am as I start to write some amazing real life stories. Stories that will make me look like an a-hole, a crazy person or get me in big trouble with people.

10. I am tempted to have an additional Facebook with real friends because I have so many different friends and lots of people that I'd like to get back in touch with. The downside is that I'm sure I'd get lots of people wanting to "get together" when there's no way in hell I want to see them. I had a guy from high school call me out of the blue a few weeks ago and wanted to get together. I never called him back because I'm sure he'd ask "When are you free?" and I really can't say, "I have an opening in 50 years" so I'd probably end up meeting with him.

11. The bottom line of all of this is that I've really stopped telling real life friends about my blog because if it ever gets to the point that I can't write what I want to write because it might hurt my career or I know that someone's going to read it and get pissed - I'd have to just shut down my blog. Imagine the suicides. I can't live with that.

12. And one more thing about my blog. I like to write THAT BLUE YAK the same way I would talk to a bunch of friends at a party. Hey we're at a party. Everyone is hanging out and laughing. Then all of a sudden - here come a few of my friend's "Christian friends" or uptight, fat ass sister. Now the party is ruined. That's what I don't want to happen. That's why I keep things private.

IRL Friend Send Message To Blogger

Do you know what Friends IRL means? It means friends in real life. Don't feel stupid. I just found out myself a few weeks ago. Anyway, my friend Calhoun who is my friend IRL has the hots for Gwen the blogger. He left a message on his dart board while we were watching the Phillies last week - see picture above.

And on the subject of Gwen the blogger, she just announced she's taking a vacation from blogging for a while because of lack of enthusiasm and some other stuff. I wish she weren't but everyone needs a break now and again. Hopefully I'll keep up my pace of blogging at least once a day. My IRL friends always ask where I find the time to blog. What those dummies don't know is that it doesn't take that long. Here are some of the things I do so blogging doesn't take up tons of time:

1) I keep a few small notebooks around so I can jot down ideas when I think of them.

2) When I see an article in the paper I tear it out and put it on my desk.

3) I keep pictures that are post worthy in a file on my computer called Pics to Blog.

4) I have various videos to blog on my playlist in YouTube.

5) I look at Google Trends for the hot news stories.

6) I look at blogs you guys don't read and copy and paste the posts word for word. Then, I cleverly change one word with another. Like if the blogger was writing a post about Ted, my post is about Charlie.

7) I start several posts so I have a few that are ready to go.

So there are a few tips. What do you guys do?

Now I will throw out a few writing assignments. Anyone who wants to write a post on any of the following topics, let me know in the comments section of this post by midnight Thursday and I'll add a link to your post.

Here are some topics:

- A time you saw an old or fat person fall down the steps or break a chair.

- A time you saw someone faint.

- A time where someone put their foot in their mouth.

- Worst throw up story.

- Funny story of someone quitting their job.

- Craziest concert story.

There you go.

West Chester Blogger Shares Steps to Building Memorable Characters

..speaking of old people, the characters portrayed in the last post were actual real people that I saw in the Exton Kmart last week. I never met these old people, I just saw them there. I'm not kidding. Never met them but I was still able to get inside their heads and turn words into character that "jump off the page".

You my friend are about to get a free lesson on how to create memorable characters in a blog post. Here's how you can get some of the boring characters YOU write about in your posts "come to life".

1) Always, always carry a camera, tape recorder, note pad and release forms.

2) Go to a mall or Kmart. These places are full of freaks from all walks of life. And these future characters of yours will be gabbin' about all kinds of things. "I think the sale said it goes until Friday" is what you might hear from someone. Write this gem down. When you get home, review what you've heard and try replacing the words with different words. It's that simple. How about:

"I think the GIANT BIRD said it goes until Friday."

"I think the sale said it goes until MARTIN LUTHER KING'S BIRTHDAY."

(See? It's like mad libs but easier).

3) What if you see some weird looking guy but he's just not talking? How are you going to turn this guy into blog gold when he hasn't said a word? I never said this was going to be easy. You, yes you need to GET him to talk. Turn on your voice recording device and try this.

You: You've won!
Muse: Won what?
You: You'll see. (flee the scene).

4) Draw a few rough sketches of how your characters walk. When at home, piece these sketches together and live that walk through practice. Forgot to number the order on the sketches? No problem. Imagine some of the quirks your character might have now! You might even have created a crazy walking creature from scratch!

5) Live the life of the characters you've created for at least a day. Don't break character. Remember that pickle joke post? I wore a green leotard and cape around for a day. Sure it looked ridiculous and you look like a fool at a wedding but WHO CARES?

OK. That's it for now. Give it a shot and let me know some the techniques you've tried.