Linda Cardellini Is Hotter Than Ever. Freaks and Geeks. Brunettes Going Blond.

Does anyone else love the show Freaks And Geeks? I do. Above is Linda Cardelinni. She was on the show. She never really did it for me in the looks department. I mean she was OK but I never thought she was THAT hot. But have you seen her lately?

Man has she aged well. Maybe it's the shaped brows and the makeup I'm not sure. But either way....VavaVOOOM! She's 37 by the way.

Now here she is as a blond.....

Whoa. Stunning. Lots of gals can't pull off the blond thing when they're naturally dark brunette but she does it well. I still like her better as a brunette though.

And here she is showing that she still has a sense of humor.....

Oh beeeeeehaaaaaaaveee!!!! I'm not sure where she was speaking when she did this but would love to find out. And I wonder if she hates that this is one of the photos that shows up first in a Google image search. Also, she does have a long tongue. Am I right? 

Battle of the Network Stars! Lynda Carter. Gabe Kaplan. Adrian Zmed.

Here are some pictures from Battle of the Network Stars. Remember that? Stars from the three TV networks competing. It ran from 1976 - 1983.

Lynda Carter. Yowza! You can even see areola!! Before the days of the Internet seeing nipple on TV was like finding gold in them thar hills! Maybe that's why I'm a nipple man. Boob size doesn't matter to me. But give me a nice pair of nips (preferably two) and I'm in!

Peter Urich will you please put some pants on? Seriously.

Ann Jillian. I never thought she was hot. But on a related note she was on a short lived show called "Jennifer Lives Here" back in 1983. I was traveling one time and at a bar I saw the kid that was on the show. I also recognized him from being the kid that was on the first episode of Cheers. I approached him and we had a nice chat. (To read a post about other famous people I've met click here).

Something for the ladies. Oh brother. Look at Zmed.

Howard Cosell: So Gabe how do you think you'll do in today's competition?

Gabe Kaplan: Forget that! Do you think Dr Zibbs will reference me in a blog post when he writes about the Philly art museum on  August 1, 2012? Do ya? Also, what do you think of my look? The hair? The stache? Honestly.

Thank God I Didn't Go On "Dancin' On Air." Kelly Ripa. Philly.

Freshman year of college I was dating this chick Ellen and she had a bunch of annoying friends that she lived with in the all girl's dorm. (Who the hell lives in the all girl's dorm?)

Anyways, a bunch of them were going to go to Philly to be on the TV show "Dancin' on Air"*. And I ALMOST went. I forget why I didn't go but THANK GOD! If me dancing on a cheesy ass TV show from the 80's ended up on Youtube I would probably have to kill myself. With my tight jeans and big ass hair...Could you imagine??

But of course my life would have been different because I probably would have met and married Kelly Ripa (see picture above).

And speaking of things that I almost did (cringe category) but didn't  - here's another one... I was in 11th grade and my sister's boyfriend and her were going to a party. Or maybe it was at a bar. I forget. Anyways, I was a huge Doors fan (now I can't even listen to them) and he said, "I can talk to the band and see if you can sing a Doors song if you want"

I was like, "Yeah OK!"

So we go to the party and the plan was that I was going to sing Roadhouse Blues. Well turns out they "couldn't fit me in" or "there's no way in hell we want some kid we don't even know singing a song". But either way thank God because it would have been a disaster! I've never sung with a band, I'm a terrible singer and I'm sure 10 seconds into it people would have been looking at me like, "What the hell is this train wreck?" And I would have turned into a deer in headlights. I really think I would have stopped halfway through and  just walked off the stage.

Phew!! That was a close one!

Oh and here's Kelly Ripa now. I wonder what our kids would have looked like? But if we did end up together I'd have to tell her to tone it down a bit because she's way too chatty.

*They were going because "Michael" knew someone that could get everyone on. Michael was this flaming gay dude that wasn't out of the closet yet. And he was a complete a-hole. His only friends were a bunch of the girls from  the girl's dorm and he was a gossipy little shit. And all of the girls would say, "I can't believe Michael doesn't have a girlfriend. He's so great!" Uh...yeah I know why. He likes dudes.

West Chester Man Considers Using Mr Furley For Fashion Redesign. Fashion.

So I've been thinking about looking at Mr Furley (Don Knotts) from Three's Company as a starting point for updating my wardrobe. I mean not like TOTALLY taking his look but just taking the cool parts and bringing it into the 2011 zone.

Do you know what I mean?

What?

No! Not like like his TOTAL look. I KNOW that looks dumb! I'm talking about taking the essence and updating it. Do you you know what I mean?

No? Well I'm going to like take the scarf and I'll..It's hard to explain. Like the big assed demin collars I have this idea to...

Oh forget it! FUCK YOU!!

Krass Brothers. Philly Old School Commercial. Shanks.

Anyone from the Philly area remember the Krass Brothers commercials? Take a look. Which girl is your favorite? I bet you like the one second from the left don't you?

Come on...don't lie.

And look at when the women are talking. He's mouthing their lines.

Incidents That Happened At Who Concerts. Part 1.

I used to go to a lot of concerts. But it seems like at a third of the concerts I went to there was an incident.

And by incident I mean either a fight, a potential fight, someone I'm with getting completely fucked up or some weird or funny thing.

Here's one of the things that happened at one of The Who concerts I went to:

*imagine me in as an old man in a rocking chair telling the tale*

Oh it was way back in the day. Sometime in the 80's.

So the concert was in Philly at JFK stadium. The place was torn down many years ago. So it's a heat wave, The Who is playing and we're on the "floor". The seating was folding chairs.

So everyone is standing on the folding chairs and I feel something spraying on my legs. I turn around and some drunk asshole is peeing on my chair and some of the spray was hitting my leg. With Hulk-like rage I just say, "What the fuck?"...

And I push him so hard that he's thrown back into a row of folding chairs.

He's lying on the ground. His dick is still out and he's peeing on himself.

The security were on him in 10 seconds and threw his ass out.

The end.

And here's a little Who in case you want to play it and pretend you were there.

Some Things I've Been Paid To Do. Jobs. Chicken Attack.

Here's a random list of things that I've been paid to do. Most are jobs but a few aren't technically jobs. And most are in order.

- Kissed an Aunt
- Picked up apples for Nana
- Paperboy (was pecked at by chickens and bitten on the ass by a dog)
- Babysitter
- Pamphlet hander outer (in doors)
- Sold flowers on the corner (fucking dangerous at times)
- Customized calendars for plumbing company with calligraphy
- Helped kids learn how to do archery
- Busboy
- Dishwasher (was forced to pluck a chicken one time outside in heatwave)
- Food prep guy
- Telemarketer (used to make prank phone calls when manager left room)
- Sales clerk at audio store at a Farmers Market
- Drove sports cars to New Jersey to be sold at auction
- Participant in a medical "cold study" (drank the whole weekend)
- Factory worker
- Loaded 18 wheeler trucks with boxes
- Sold illegal things
- Business cleaner
- Standup comic
- Product Development Manager and Director for a giftware companies
- Business owner
- Sold things on Ebay and Half.com
- Sales/Marketing

And I'm sure I'm going to think of more. I'll ad them to the comments.

So what did you slackers do?

Some Dude Commented On My Eight Is Enough Post. TV Songs.

I love getting random comments on my blog from Anonymous people.

It's usually from people that don't have blogs but they find my blog through a Google search. And they're always pissed off.

For example, take a look at this post when I discussed the theme from Eight is Enough.

And here's the comment I got last night:

"No offense, but everyone who has made a degrading comment about the 8 IS ENOUGH theme song has done so for a lack of insight and are products of our seedy pop culture. The song was nice and so was the show. I'm a Judas Priest fan, for heaven sake, and even I can see that. Incidentally, in latter seasons I think they re-recorded the theme song and Goodeve throttled back on the vibrato and the song was'nt as hyper-pure sounding as it had been, and was better. And nevertheless, that show was your last crack at the wholesomeness of the American dream being prime-timed across your screen, so happy sailing if you really think that's a good thing. You freaks probably like hip-hop."

Uhhh. Yeah OK buddy.

Toni Marie Terrano, Michelle Sutlovich, Fame and Stairway to Stardom.

I mentioned in the comments the other day about how I used to run in front of the TV when my sister was watching it and start dancing to the theme of the show Fame. Just to be annoying. "Get out of the way! I'm watching this"...as I flailed arms and legs.

So Gage says, "was it like this?"..and leaves a clip to one of the best videos I've ever seen. It's a chick dancing to the theme of Fame. Here it is:



Do you believe that???

It's from a show called Stairway To Stardom. I've never even heard of that show! We had a similar show in the Philly area called the Al Alberts show but instead of untalented adults singing and dancing it was only kids. I'm such a fan of no talents singing and dancing with terrible production. It looks like she's performing in front of an elevator.

Here's another one from that show. It's a little lady named Toni Marie Terrano. Make sure to look for the under the leg clap at 1:43. And how old do you think she is? It's very hard to tell.



And if you want to see an artist rendering of Toni Marie Terrano click here. Move over Mona Lisa.

Dream I Had About Going Back In Time. Gettin' It On. Avatar.

I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. In one, I was on a reality TV show where you get hooked up to an Avatar (like in the movie Avatar) and you travel back in time and go on dates again that you had in high school.

I'm not kidding. I really had this dream. Sadly though, the dream ended before I went on the date. And that sucks because I was hoping to relive one of the dates/hookups that I most regret.

It was the Summer between 11th and 12th grade and I actually called up a girl that had just graduated because my sister ran into her at a party and she said I should call her. And I was floored because I only knew her from art class. She was really cool and she was hot. A blond haired, short cute chick. A year older and a year more experienced.

So I called her up and asked her out. And I couldn't believe she said yes. We go out on the date, and we ended up cruising around and parking*. She was into The Who so I pop in the cassette of Who's Next. Then we start making out. Then "heavy petting". Then it was getting more and more heated. Her pants are off and shirt is open. Everything except "it" happened. And I have no idea why I didn't round home. My policy before then had always been, "Keep going until they say no". Then, ask again...perhaps beg. I don't know.

But it always bothered me because we never went out again. I really can't remember if I never called her or if I called her and she said no. And I don't know how I can even forget because here was this cool, hot chick and..well...I feel like I blew it. Maybe it's because I liked her and thought that I better not go all the way and ruin it.

It also could have been that around this time I was kind of shy. I wasn't shy around my friends but sometimes around strangers and girls I would clam up. About a year later for some reason I got major confidence and my mission in life was to meet girls. Everything revolved around it and I had no inhibitions about approaching women. And it turns out, that's the key I found. Opening up your trap and talking you stupid idiot.

I think I'll have write some more posts to go deeper into this subject. Anyone else have any dating regrets?

*The picture above shows the actual car that was used. Same color too! Except Ricardo Montalban wasn't there. That I know of.

One of My Favorite Movie Scenes. Airplane. Murman.

One of my terrible impressions from back in the day was Ethel Murman*. Well, it wasn't that bad but.. If the impression was not great I'd say it was "in the works" - as if I was practicing it at home for hours in a mirror to get it right. Slowly I would make a breakthrough and look in the mirror with the smile that said, "Nailed it!".

So I was just on the old Youtube and found one of my favorite clips from Airplane. This always makes me laugh out loud.



*And how did anyone ever think she was a good singer? She's sounds like someone's Aunt just belting out some songs after a few Rob Roys.

Welcome Home JellyBean And Terrible Acting. Elevator Issues.

Kristen this is for you (he says in the style of the Nanny when she's yelling to Damien in the Omen right before she jumps off the roof).

OK. Here is a clip from the movie Welcome Home JellyBean. I was telling Kristen about it the other day. It's a movie from the 80's about a retarded girl. The retarded gal is played by the girl that was the daughter in the second National Lampoon Vacation movie. She's dead now so don't even try making fun of her.

And the acting is TERRIBLE. It's an insult to retarded people AND elevators. There's no need to watch the clip after the elevator scene but what is going on in there? (Besides the bad acting). Look at the panic that happens when the emergency button is pressed. What's up wid that Holmes?

Lawn Darts. We Hardly Knew Ye. Banned In The US.

Lawn Darts. How we miss thee.

According to this lawn darts website I found, Lawn Darts were banned on Dec 19, 1988. That's right before Christmas! I wonder how many kids were disappointed that year? After the government raided homes and confiscated all of the lawn darts I bet some parents made fake lawn darts out of whatever resources were available in 1988.

But the kids probably weren't fooled. Opening their Lawn "Darz" and pulling out homemade, dull projectiles.

I bet some were just colored paper plates taped to butter knives. What I rip off.
I'm surprised there wasn't an kid uprising. Maybe there was but it wasn't reported.

I remember playing lawn darts when I was a kid. And I also remember kids throwing them at one another. Pretty dangerous if you think about it. But I never knew anyone that got injured by one.

Sounds kind of fishy to me.

Larry vs The Situation. Bigger Douchebag? Jersey Shore.

So who do you think is more of a douchbag?

Old school Larry from Three's Company?



Or "The Situation" from The Jersey Shore?



I think I know the answer. It's "The Situation" isn't it? So what would you ladies do if he approached you in a bar? Would you fall for his charms?

And who the hell dates someone like him anyway?

I Bet Little Darlings Was One Of Your Favorite Movies. Kristy McNichol.

Here's a clip from the 1980 movie Little Darlings with Kristy McNichol and Matt Dillon.

What a rash.

I used to have a crush on Kristy McNichol* but now I look at her and she isn't even that cute.

And look at how they have identical hair. Oh brother.



*Fun Fact: I used to hook up with this chick in college that looked just like her.

Lowenbrau Commercial. Do They Still Make This Stuff? Beer.

Remember when there weren't that many beers? And Lowenbrau was considered one of the best ones?

Here's a Lowenbrau commercial from 1984 . Do they even still make it? I forget how it tastes but I think it was kind of crappy.

Black Friday. What YOU Talkin' Bout Willis? Yeah YOU!

In honor of Black Friday, I give you..my favorite black person:

Gary Coleman. And this is him saying "Wathca Talkin' Bout Willis" in various hilarious ways. After viewing the video, join me below for further discussion.



If they ever make a remake, I'm offering several alternate catch phrases. Read them aloud to capture their full impact:

"Somebody give me a Q-tip because I KNOOOWWW I didn't just hear you say that." (Important note: The Willis character must always have a Q-tip handy - which he hands to Arnold)

"You said..whu...huh...(looks around) MR DRUMMOND!

"Whatcha talkin' bout Maurice?" (In this case, the brother's name HAS to be Maurice or it won't work).

"Oh..OK (turns to walk away then realized that he didn't hear what Willis was saying correctly so he turns around and puts hands on hips) Wait a minute Willis..What was that you said? Would you mind repeating yourself?"

If I think of anymore I'll add them to the comments area. Do you have any ideas? If they're dumb, just keep them to yourself though.

I don't want the comments area cluttered up with nonsense.

Rodney Dangerfield, Caddyshack and Dr Zibbs.

And on the subject of Rodney Dangerfield (from the last post) here's Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack.



Man that was a great movie. Can you believe it was released in 1980?! When this movie came out I saw it a million times. What a classic. To read some interesting info on Caddyshack, click here.

(Wow. I gotta sit down. I'm exhausted after writing this post. A lot of work went into this one. Pheeeww)

A Post About My Hair. Disco. Hair Pick and Freddy Washington.

Here are some various things about my hair that I will now ramble off:

- It has slowly evolved over time. It used to be wavy, then it got really curly.

- It used to be red, then it got auburn, then brownish and now - I would call it auburnish with SOME gray.

- Others tell me that I'm totally gray. They must be blind because it's fucking GRAYISH a-holes!

- From age 5 - 13 I had at least thirty old ladies - complete stranger old ladies - come up to me and say, "Oh my God. You've got the most beautiful hair! I wish I had your hair"
(Well you don't you old bat so keep walking. Do you think a BOY wants to hear that?)

- In 6th grade my mom started sending me to a "Hair Design for Men" place. The first time I was there, the dude asked, "So, are you into disco? Do you want a disco hair cut?" I said no but he proceeded to give me a disco haircut. Like a big crybaby, I told my mom I wasn't going to school the next day. She made me go. People laughed.

- In 9th grade, EVERYTIME I got my haircut, I asked the guy NOT TO TAKE ANY OFF THE BACK. I asked him this for two years. For some reason, my hair never got longer than a few inches in the back. I swear my mom was calling him and telling him it should be cut. She denies ever doing this.

- When I was in 9th grade, my mom bought a pick - like an afro pick - and tried to get me to "fluff up the top". She would sneak up behind me and try to fluff it up but I refused. This went on for months. "Who do I look like, God damn Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington? Jesus!
"
- Once, while completely wasted with a couple girls in college, the one girl said she just started to cut hair. I let her do it. Bad descision. When I got back to the dorms and was walking down the hall, one of my frieds saw me and started banging on all the doors, "OH MY GOD, YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS!" Everyone came out. And laughed. I didn't care though. I was just pissed that this chick gave me such a terrible cut. I should have been tipped off when she scalded me with the water when she was wetting my hair.

- For about a year in the 80's I had a "tail".

- I'm showing zero signs of baldness.

- I have some hair on my chest but none on my butt.

And that concludes the hair post.

Palmolive Commercial and Madge. SHUT HER DOWN. Nut Case.

I made a reference to Madge from the Palmolive commercial to my Twitter friend @ChesterCo_PA and she didn't know what I was talking about so I'll clarify here.

Madge was the annoying beauty parlour lady that used Palmolive dishwashing liquid to soak the hands of her clients. Here's the video:



WTF?

Client: You're using dishwashing liquid to soak my hands? And I'm paying you for this?

Madge: Oh don't worry. I'm a sassy like that. Now if you'll step over to the sink, I'll condition your hair....with URINE..

(Close up of camera then Dr Zibbs takes off Madge wig)

Dr Zibbs: Hi. I'd Dr Zibbs. You may know me from the famous blog THAT BLUE YAK. Google it. You'll find it. I'm here to say that if you have a beauty parlour worker that uses non beauty parlour products on you..please..call the fuzz.

This was a public service announcement by THAT BLUE YAK.