Alert Reader Spots TDBOA

Shirlsd spooted this scary item at work.

She says:

a coworker shared this (attached). Left at his keyboard in his cube ... Mystery gift giver. Turns out - it was a reject toy for the "kids day" we had at work yesterday. (Thought to be too creepy for the kids.)

That shit ain't right!!!

Roving reporter unearths new monstrosity!!!

Alert reader, sometime lurker and Roving TBDOA-Spotter Anatomy of Rye discovered the following in his/her travels:

Stuffed Animals with Human Faces

The rest can be seen here.

Thank you, AoR, for your vigilance and for your diligence in reporting this. ... Although I blame you for all my future nightmares.

I can has TBDOA?

more cat pictures

Thanks, Zilal.

Thanks a freaking lot.

Things are amiss at Walgreens. Nope, not good.

Thanks, Jam.

Which came first ... ?

Miss Kendra spotted this one. I'm sorry, but I actually think it's cute!

Reversible egg-chicken.

Here's where she found it.

This is in Jamwall's CLOSET.

Betrayed!!!!

3 heavenly pussies

Jamwall has sent me the opportunity to start my very own collection of pussy angels! I can't believe how adorable they are. One almost don't feel damned when one looks into their sweet little eyes.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Order now while supplies last!

Ted's Very First Sighting!!!

My friend Ted, who is new to the TBDOA phenomenon, has sent me the following image of despair from his cellphone:

Bears holding Bears!!!!

He says that Starbucks is in on the giant conspiracy/obsession. But we knew that, didn't we? Nice work, Ted! You are now a proud member of the apocalypse-spotting league.

Oh Lordy in Heaven, save us from ourselves.

Somebody sent me this; I can't remember who. Obviously somebody who wants to watch me go insane and tear out my own eyes with the business end of that pacifier.

My abdomen has been replaced by cake!!

Thanks, Jame.

Electrical Appendages

Alert reader Madge sent me this abomination long ago. What, a bear with a lamp for a spine? What's next? A vacuum cleaner intestine? A toaster penis?

Alert reader and roving reporter Miss Kendra has sent me this monstrosity! It appears that now, Frankenstein-like, we can build our own TBDOA!!!

Thanks for taking away my sleep, Miss K.

Signs.

Oh yes, my children. Even in the sanctuary of the cozy mom-n-pop coffee shoppe I found myself in this past weekend, there are creeping signs of The End to Come. Gaze now at our peril:

Imagine, if you will, the tiny little immigrant woman, stitching day into night and night into day, on tiny little down coats for bears. How does she not kill herself, how does she look into her own eyes!?!?!?!? Well ... I guess if my family got free soy no-whip lattes every hour on the hour, even I could be a whore for the Bad Guy.

Onward. Astute Armageddon-spotter Lee Ann sent me these two items.

Bears going postal has been seen before, albeit not quite so alluringly shrink-wrapped. But this next bit ....

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Wait, let me catch my breath.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! What the blue hell is that thing?!? A doll, baby bear thing. You know I love dolls, right? I mean ... I just ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm having involuntary spasms and urine leakage. I gotta go cry somewhere.

Alert Reader TBDOA Spotting!

Teddy Bear as Centaur!

and it's made of alpaca fur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New reader Phytheas Bear spotted this abomination at one of the Wormholes to the Underworld. I am fairly certain this site is going to give me enough TBDOA material to post every day until Christmas.

Your Assignment

Now that you have been exposed to the horror of TBDOA, it is incumbent upon you to open your eyes and to spot this perversion in the world. Over the next week, whilst I am on a TBDOA-hunting foray into the wilds of New England, please find examples of TBDOA or TBDOA-like phenomena (dolls, freaky stuffed animals, babies in costume) and send them to me!

You may find them on the web or (preferably) through the lens of your own camera.

Godspeed, my minions.

Bears of the Apocalypse

Ever since I revealed my sick fascination with Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Animals, my devout fans have searched the world for evidence of this decline of mankind, and filled my inbox with their photographic evidence. Here is some of the proof I have received:

From DaMasta's cell phone camera:

bear as heart

Monkeys as ballerinas; a subset of TBDOA.

While not a sign of the Apocalypse per se, it is perhaps a sign

of something milder, such as

gastrointestinal angst to come.

Bears dressed in cute outfits holding cute animals.

That is just wrong!

And from Lee Ann:

Bear as teacher.

As if we would allow the sinister

brainwashing that would ensue!

Thank you both for your vigilance. Let's all keep our eyes open; the signs are there, you just have to look for them.

O the Horror


Some astute readers have picked up on my subtle dislike of Teddy Bears Dressed as Other Animals (TDBOA), and have found examples far and wide throughout their individual corners of Blogland. It is my hope that increased exposure to this perversion will help me to feel OK about it. From looking at these photos, however ... it's unlikely.

Miss Kendra sends this specimen. Not too bad; it's just a bear in clothing. Still not right, though. Animals don't need clothing, that's why they have fur.

Cupcake sends this disturbing image of Bears as Wizard of Oz. I will forever dream of the bear-as-tinman, thanks a freaking lot.

Fritz sends this deeply disturbing Bear as Skeleton, which I think is supposed to be a Halloween costume. The portrayal of a bear skeleton as identical to a human skeleton makes me question my roots and those of all of humanity.

This bears posting again, because it is just so very wrong. Quilting Girl's find, Bear as Lobster, is still #1 in my Book of TBDOA Horrors.

... and finally, while not a manifestation of TBDOA per se, this outrage. Just what the heck is going on?!?!?! Thanks to Cupcake for her quick thinking in bringing this to our attention.

Please keep your eyes peeled for further examples of TBDOA and send them to me ASAP!