Ironman Boulder 70.3 Race Report

Race day started like every other race day: getting up at some ungodly hour (4:00 a.m.) and making it a priority to poop. The pooping did not happen as my body isn’t used to evacuating at 4:00 a.m. I am more of a 6:30 a.m. type of girl.

We got out the door by 4:30 a.m. and I felt like crying. Sometimes when my nerves are really off the charts, the only thing I can think of to do is cry (I’m such a girl). Or throw up. I didn’t do either. We got to the reservoir in darkness, pumped up tires and I carried my bike to transition (yes, I am that nervous about some errant goat-head or piece of glass messing up my day).

Transition was nuts. I set up my spot.

I was happy and comforted to see Nora right behind me in the transition area. I managed to clean my colon in the port potty and then the volunteers got very bossy yelling at everyone to get the hell out of the transition area (about 6:30 a.m.). I ran into Stacia from Twist Yoga Wear, good to finally meet her (and she kicked some Twist Yoga wear ass by finishing in 5:17!). Also saw my friend, Dana, and blogger friend Julie.

We walked to the beach and the buoys were so far out we could barely see them. This was a one loop, 1.2 mile swim and it looked freaking far. Somehow seeing it laid out in one big lump made it look too far for me to swim even though I had done the distance in a pool countless times since April.

We watched the pros set out, then got into the water for a 6:45 a.m. start. I put myself towards the back and side wanting to avoid dying as much as possible. I had no clue what to expect as this was my first open water tri. There were about 250 of us starting together.

I found the swim to be annoying. All of the grabbing and splashing and kicking. I would have none of people grabbing my feet and would violently shake them off. I tried to stay even with the buoys and did pretty well. I took it very easy on the swim, using it as a warm up for the day. I kept my kicking at a minimal to save my legs. Hell, I had at least 5-6 hours to go after the swim was over, so no need to go balls out.

Swim: 1.2 mile in 41:07

I peeled off my wetsuit and tried my best to dry off while getting ready to hop on the bike. I popped 3 Hammer endurolyte tabs and put on more sunscreen. It was going to be a scorcher with projected temps up to 96 degrees.  

The first 5-6 miles of the bike were relatively uphill, so it is kind of a grind. I kept a decent pace, but let my heart rate settle down. I knew I’d be out there a long time and that pacing was crucial. After about 20 minutes I started eating. I had packed my Bento Box full of Fig Newtons, Stinger gels and Stinger waffles with peanut butter (broken into pieces). I was determined to eat it all (I didn't quite succeed, but close), which would give me about 330 cals/hour and 40-50g carbs/hour. I had scotch-taped six endurolyte tabs to my bike as well. Need to get dehydrated out there.

The bike was fast. I was passed by 6 million of those intense dudes on tri bikes who have the really noisy wheels. I never felt tired on the bike, never stopped pedaling. I stayed in my aerobars 98% of the time. I was able to get comfortable and just do my thing. I was having a great time. The scenery was amazing and I felt good. At every aid station I took a new bottle of water. I knew the bike was my chance to hydrate and fuel.

On the second loop at about mile 30 I saw I sign that said, “Don’t burn up your legs, save some for the run.” This was my main concern. There are some pretty big hills on this course and I worried my legs would be burned out for the run. I tried to keep some in reserve.

About 30 minutes before the end of the bike,I stopped eating to let my stomach settle. I started mentally preparing big time for the run, remembering my strategy to go at an even pace and one that I could sustain in the heat for 13.1 miles. By this time it was really warming up into the 90s.

Bike: 56 miles in 2:53 (19.34 avg pace)

I started running and my stomach was so cramped up. Like that kind of cramping that proceeds a major explosion. Shit, I thought. SHIT! I know it was from all that food on the bike, the exertion and being bent over for so long in aero position.

I didn’ t know if I would crap myself, throw up, need to walk, cry or all of the above simultaneously. I was terrified to eat anything. The waves of intense cramping continued for about five miles. The last episode nearly brought me to my knees, but I kept running. I was scouring the landscape for somewhere to squat if need be. This was my low point of the race. Because you have to have at least one, right?

The thing about stomach cramping is that running makes it  worse and we all know that. Yet, I would not give in. I pretty much surrendered to the pain and decided I would have the rest of the day to spend on the toilet, but I needed to keep moving forward.

Then, guess what? The pain went away. Just like that. I never ate a thing during the run for fear it would return. I took a gamble by not eating, but it’s what I had to do.

I made it through loop one of the run and was feeling great. My friend, Joie, was waiting with more endurolyte tabs, cold water, sunscreen and her smiling face, which helped my mood so much.

Mile 6.5 of the run

Here I go for loop two, then I’m done!

Loop two was a war zone. People were grunting, moaning, walking. It was hot. As in, the kind of hot where you’d prefer to not walk to your mailbox let alone run a half marathon. I stopped each mile at the aid stations to pour ice water on my head and stuff my bra with ice. I took sponges and cooled my whole body. I drank small sips of flat coke and water. I pushed on. I passed lots of people at this point. At mile 11, I could not believe I felt as good as I did and I only had 2.1 miles to go. I did not have on a Garmin, so I had no clue about pace. I just kept moving.

As I got within a mile of the finish, I started to cry. Not an all out ugly sobbing cry (that would be stupid), just some soft tears. I had almost done it. I would do it. 15 hard weeks of dedicated training. Lots of uncertainly about my abilities.

Run: 13.1 miles in 2:00 (9:12 avg pace)

Yes, my slowest half marathon ever, but I usually don’t do those after swimming 1.2 miles and biking 56 miles. I also don’t do them when it’s freaking 95 degrees!

I crossed the finish line in 5:43. I hoped to be under 6:30 and dreamed of getting close to 6:00. I had smashed my goal. Now I need to take a class in how to not underestimate myself.

I was 18/74 in my division (40-44), 198/449 for women and 565/1327 overall.

Best part of the finish besides finishing was getting a Boulder 70.3 hat soaked in ice water. Oh, and a medal.

Joie was waiting for me at the finish, looking like a tourist. Love her!:

Then my mom, dad and the kids got there. Sam might get beat up for wearing those glasses:

Surprise of surprises, my friend Clair showed up, the one who wrote me the amazing email the other day. She lives in Virginia and I knew she was out here on a family vacation. No clue she would be at the finish or that I would see her before next week. Incredible, uplifting surprise!

I got to watch Ken finish in 6:32.

Many of you know Ken and I have done most our training together and that this was a first half ironman for us both. So, obviously the dude in this video was not meant to represent Ken! It meant so much to see him finish so strong! I mean, we used to sit on the couch, drink Budweiser and watch Beverly Hills 90210 back in the 90s, so we've come a long way. (Although  still do those things, I just train early in the morning and sit on the couch at night).

Whew! That was a long ass report. Almost as long as my race. And, probably kind of boring, but it’s my story and I’m proud of it. It’s one more example of how we have to set our sites HIGH and never stop believing. In the end, we are so much stronger than we think we are.

discipline + passion + no excuses = success

SUAR

PS: And huge thanks to the volunteers like Laura and Becka. You were AWESOME!

All I Wanted Was to Be Stroked

Last night Ken and I did the Stroke ‘n Stride. No, this hasn’t become an x-rated blog, although stroking is a good thing.

The Sroke ‘n Stride is really a fancy name for an aqua-thon. It is a casual timed swim/run event where you can choose to swim 750 or 1,500 meters then do a 5K run. It’s at the Boulder Reservoir, same place as the half Ironman. We thought this would be good practice for Sunday’s race as it would give us a chance to be part of a mass start of swimmers.

If you volunteer at one event, you get to do one for free (it’s usually $20). We tried to volunteer, but I sent an email saying could be in a kayak but would not save anyone’s life (joke, joke), but I never heard back and I think it’s because they thought I was callous and rude.

I, personally, was also hoping this mini-race it would calm these freaking nerves. I am about to explode with anticipation and fear of the unknown and I’ve got the shits – a sure sign of anxiety. Or, maybe it was that bean/cheese burrito.

The start was to be at 6:00 p.m. for the long course (1,500 meters). We got there by 5:30 p.m. to set up our transition area and to get our timing chips. On the way in, I saw this:

The reality of what this truck meant (that, yes, my race is only 4 days away) made me both sick and excited. (Breath, Nora, breathe!)

We put on our wetsuits, which is a very hot thing to do when it is 92 degrees. Nut soup, as Ken would say.

We waited, and waited. The weather was looking iffy and they kept moving the swim start until later and later. We went to sit in the shade and that’s when the dude about 2 feet to my right let the hugest fart rip. I mean HUGE. Ken looked at me and asked, “Was that you?,” which is a perfectly acceptable and expected question. But, for once it was not me. And, this dude just sat there letting things fly as if I he was doing nothing at all. I mean, c’mon, at least fan your crotch area or put your thumb on your head or laugh out loud and say, “Good one!”

We waited and waited. Ken remarked, “All these f&cking people are so in shape. This is ridiculous!” I said, “I know. They just need to CALM DOWN and stop working out so much and being so fit.”

That is just how Boulder is. A collection of muscular, svelte, beautiful, gluten/dairy free*, socially conscious, Prius driving folks who can kick ass in any and all races. We who live in Longmont are just a shadow of these beauties. The red-headed step sisters, if you will. I like gluten. A lot. (Yes, I’ve been tested. No, I don’t have an intolerance).

Now, the start had been moved to 6:40 p.m., the wind had picked up big time and there were major white caps on the reservoir. That’s about the time they cancelled the swim but let us know the run would still be happening.

After sitting for almost an hour in my wetsuit I could not wait to rip that sucker off. And it was soaked, just from my lady-like perspiration.

We went to the start line for the run and Ken looked at me and asked, “So, are you racing this thing? Like going fast?” I said, “No. I didn’t plan on kicking ass in a 5K tonight.” Ken said, “I am not going to beat any one of these people. Like not even that little girl over there.”

So much for not racing. I had some nerves I needed to work out. The wind was pretty horrendous going around the lake on the way out. I was huffing and puffing, probably in about zone 20. I looked at my watch and we were only six minutes in. Shit. I kept it up. At the turn around, the wind was at my back. I didn’t have my Garmin, so had no clue how I was pacing. I passed a few people and finished up in 22:58 (7:25 average). A new PR for me and good enough for 2nd in my age group and 20/99 overall for women. Score one for the Longmont step sister!

Afterwards Ken asked me what was hanging down from my bathing suit. I told him it was the tie for my suit.

 

He said, “Good, I knew it was either that or a really huge tampon.” Good to know the white string had made a showing all along. Hello Boulder! I have a huge tampon and it is NOT ORGANIC!

3 days. Oh, my.

SUAR

*PS: I get why people are dairy/gluten free and why the Prius is an awesome car. I also happen to love Boulder and all the Boulderites.  Just poking some fun so don’t get your panties in a wad.

Get a Room

Early this morning we headed out for the last brick of our 70.3 training this morning.

The plan was to ride from our house and do one loop of the 70.3 course (about 33 miles) then come home and run for an hour (6-7 miles).

I also wanted to experiment with race day clothes. I wore my swim bottoms under my bike shorts. Since Ironman doesn’t allow nudity (no fun), I won’t be taking them off. For the bike run transition, I will do a quick change to a running skirt because I hate running in my shorts. For a sprint, it’s fine, but for a half marathon, I want to be comfortable and am willing to sacrifice 20 seconds in transition.

Heading out on the bike. Someone please remind me to stop doing that weird head tilt in every picture

If you really give a crap and looked closely at my photo, you will see aero bars.  Price tag is still on in case I decide I don’t like them. I’m weird that way. I return everything including used sheets. Ewww.

Yes, I drank the aero bar Kool-aid. They are just clip-ons and nothing fancy because I don’t have $3,000 laying around to buy an tri bike right now. $100 sounded better. A few adjustments to seat position and height and voila!

All I can say is: where have you been all my life? I was worried about adjusting to these things and normally I wouldn’t make a change so close to race day.  But I thought I’d try them to see if I could get into more of a groove on the bike and just be more comfortable, overall.

Settling into my bars was effortless and made riding so much more natural for me. We kicked out the 33 miles in 1:51 which meant a 18 mph average. This is faster than I’d normally do the loop, so I was thrilled about that. I fueled with my Honey Stingers/peanut butter sandwich, gels and Cytomax. I felt energized the entire time. 

I had a run-in with bike etiquette along the way – kind of confused me, so tell me what you think.

We were cruising down Highway 36 at a nice clip. A man and woman passed me single file, looking strong. I stayed with them at a comfortable pace. I was tempted to pass again after a couple of miles, but didn’t. I was with them for maybe ten minutes when we got to a hill. I noticed that the guy moved over beside the woman to take up the whole shoulder, which was very wide. I didn’t get why he was doing this since he was a stronger cyclist than she was and they had been single file until this point.  It made it impossible for me to pass or to even try.  The woman was breathing hard, struggling a bit. I was not.  I wanted to pass just to keep my pace even and to not lose momentum. But, the dude wouldn’t make room.

When we got to the top, he looked over at her and laughed and that’s when I realized it might have been a deliberate attempt to keep me from passing her on the hill. Dick. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seemed pretty purposeful. I mean, who cares? If you’re going slower, let someone pass you.  So, I blew by them as I expelled all kinds of gas and never saw them again.

What’s your take? Glad I got that off my chest. Okay, I’m over it.

I call this elevation chart “mountain town with two nips pointing down.”

We got home and headed out for the run.

It was only 8:30 a.m., but temps were heating up nicely. We did an out and back for a total of 6.7 miles in 59 minutes, 8:53 min/mile average. Total workout time: 2:50. Total miles: 39.7.

I got so hot the last mile and ran out of water. We both got a bit terrified realizing we would be running later than this next week, with no shade and twice the distance. It will be a hot, slow grind to the finish and will probably cuss and cry but I will do it.

Looking quite ugly afterwards if I do say so myself.

Now headed out to get some donuts and coffee. Think I earned it! Filled long john is calling my name. TWSS.

Ever had a run in with questionable bike race etiquette? This is my first one.

Do you use aero bars? I love mine so much people on the road were screaming, “Get a room!”

What’s your donut and donut shop of choice? I like Daylight Donuts – a franchise, but family run and inexpensive. I usually get the cinnamon roll with a circumference of 12” or the filled long john.

Do you return a lot of crap to the store? I’m the queen of this. I will tell you a story one day about returning a coffee pot, still wet.

SUAR

Hope She Didn’t Drown ‘Cause She Was Cool

I so love starting out the day inspired.

Don't get me wrong. It wasn’t like I jumped out of bed feeling that way. In fact, when I got up at 5:30 a.m., pushed “start” on the coffee maker and prepared to hit the road for an open water swim in Boulder, I tiredly tried to count just how many early mornings I have put in since starting my half ironman training. Probably over 80 in the past three months.

Training has been incredible, but for someone like me who loves lazy mornings with the Denver Post and a cinnamon roll as big as my head, this has been a different sort of summer. That said, I’m the type who needs to get it done first thing, or it ain’t gonna happen. Mornings are best for a lot of things (TWSS).

Back to what inspired me. The inspiration I’m talking about came in the form of a 61 year old woman with a Southern accent. As we arrived at the reservoir, she was putting on her wetsuit. She came over and asked for a friendly hand in zipping up the back while I put on my wetsuit, Xenia from Xterra.

I tried to ignore how Xenia grabbed for my Body Glide and spilled a tampon on the ground. So embarrassing in front of my new friend!

Ken commented I should use the tampon just for extra buoyancy.

Finally I stopped the shenanigans by just putting her on:

My 61 year old friend told me she was doing her first half ironman in California this weekend, Barb’s Race, a women’s only HIM put on by Vineman. She said today was her third open water swim and that the first one she did was last week. She had a panic attack and had to be rescued by a kayaker. She said her second time went better and was we entered the water, she said, “And today I’m not scared at all.”

As we prepared to start swimming, I looked her in the eye and straight from my gut and heart I said, “I am so impressed by you.” It’s all I could say. To have the guts to do this race at her age is nothing short of amazing to me. At the age of 61 she believed she could do something that 99% of people her age think is outrageous and out of reach.

As we started swimming I lost my friend (I hope she didn’t drown, I was kind of self focused), but I will think about her for a long time. Especially when the going gets tough in my race. If she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, we all can do it.

Anything inspire you today?

SUAR

70.3 Taper & Winner

 

Week 12 of 14 and taper has arrived for a two week visit. Usually tapers make me mad and restless, but I’m welcoming this one.

I’ve been putting in 11-12 hour training weeks. Just a drop in the bucket for some and way out of reach for others. For me, trying to fit in workouts has been challenging. If training was all I had to do it would be a piece of cake, but like all of you, I’ve got a job, a family, a life that needs attention as well.

A typical week for me looks like this:

This week I’ll taper to an 8 hour week, next week will be 4 hours. The Boulder 70.3 is in 13 days. Butterflies for sure. This reminds me of my first marathon in 2009 when I had never done a long run of more than 20 miles in training. Could I go 26.2 miles? Yes, I could and I did.

This time, I have never done the full 70.3 distance at once because that would be stupid and my body would hate me. But, this leaves my pea brain wondering if I can go the distance. Let me rephrase that. I know I can go the distance, but can I do it the way I want to do it? Of course I have goals in mind.

Goal A: Finish the damn race in one piece
Goal B: Finish in 6:30
Goal C: Finish sub 6:30 with goal of 6 hours

My ideal breakdown is:

Swim (1.2 miles): :45 mins
Bike (56 miles): 3:20
Run (13.1 miles): 2:00
Transitions will probably total 6-7 minutes

This equals 372 minutes or 6:12.

Yes, this may conservative or it may be lofty. I’m not sure.  The weather will be reaching into the mid-90s by the time the run starts and there is little shade. I’ve never done a race this long before in terms of time. Just not sure how I will hold up.

But, I have trained hard and I need to trust that. Could I have done more? Absolutely. Could I have slacked off more, you bet. When pre-race nerves get the best of me, I need to remember to:

• Trust my training
• I can do anything I set my mind to
• Run my own race
• I am stronger than I think I am
• It’s just a race, not the biggest deal in the universe

How do you pump yourself up the weeks before your big race? For me it is all about getting in the right mind space and not psyching myself out.

Any 70.3 advice for me?

SUAR

PS:  Amanda from Runninghood is the winner of the Special Hidden Talent Contest with 35 out of 77 votes! That girl can stretch her tummy skin like a mean piece of taffy. Amanda – email me and let me know if you want a small or medium SUAR shirt.

Maybe I Need a Rest Day

Today’s brick is history. Got ‘er done. It was the icing on the cake that got me to 11 hours and 40 minutes of workouts this week. I’m tired and thirsty for beer.

Today in numbers:

54: # of miles on the bike
197: # of minutes it took to ride that far including stops
1: # of dumps I had to take in the weeds before we even headed out. And the band did not sing about it
40: # of ounces of liquid I drank while riding
1,700: # of feet climbed on the bike total
3: # of dead snakes on the road
20: # of minutes I ran after I got off the bike
15: # of times during the workout I questioned If I have it in me to do this race
15:# of times Ken told me I have what it takes
35: # of days until the race I hope I can finish
1: # of times I got stung by an unknown bug
6: # mile at which I was passed by a group of riders and felt slow and thought about stopping
500: # of calories I ate while on the bike
0: # of pictures I took along the way
8: # of days since my last rest day

Training is a weird animal. You have so many ups and downs mentally and physically. Some days you feel on top of the world, stronger than you’ve ever felt. Other days you are tired, irritable, not having fun. You wonder why you’re doing it at all.

If it sounds like I’m whining I kind of am. The workout went well enough, but I’m always surprised by how much it takes mentally to get through 3 hours and 37 minutes of constant and strenuous exercise. And, after a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, I will still need to run a half marathon, so I think that’s what is psyching me out.

Around here you get kind of skewed. Everyone is SO stinking fit and fast and lean and mean. For god’s sake I was passed by a 55 year old woman kicking ass on her aero bars. I’m not fishing for people to tell me that I’m strong and mean (but you can). Some days I just think this half ironman stuff is way harder than I expected. And that makes me feel like a pussy.

Don’t get me wrong. This training has challenging me and strengthened me in so many positive ways. I’m just being real here.

Penis

I guess we’re all different. Some would say that training for and completing a marathon is one of the toughest things you can do. Personally, I find this HIM stuff much more challenging. More time. More disciplines to be good at. More gear. I’m glad I’m doing it, but I’m not convinced I’ll do another.

Or, maybe I just need a rest day.

Shut up and take a rest day and then shut up and keep training, right?

Ever feel that way about your training? Any tips?

SUAR

No Excuses

If there ever was a time to Shut Up and Run, it was today.

Do you ever want to wimp out?  You plan an early morning workout and the later you stay up and the more you drink, eat, etc., the more you negotiate with yourself about why you don’t really need to get up that early, or why you don’t really need to do that workout anyway.

By the time you lay your head down to rest at midnight, stuffed and dehydrated, you move the alarm to the off position and think, “Oh well. Working out isn’t everything. I’m sure I can fit it in later in the day or next week or never. I’m just destined to {insert adjective here}: be lazy, be out of shape, not meet my goal.

Maybe it’s that you were at the Rockies game really late last night while there was a rain delay:

And maybe you had two of these:

And one of these with a mound of fries (and a few farts):

Or maybe it’s that you are tired from previous workouts this week.

Or maybe you have a really full day ahead and it makes you tired to start an hour or two earlier for your workout.

Or maybe, for just a minute, you stopped caring and lost sight of your goal.

But, in the deep dark of the night, your conscience gets to you and you know you can’t cop out. You remember you have a blog that espouses “no excuses” and “getting shit done without complaining.” You know that you need to do what you said you were going to do because …..well, only because you promised yourself you’d do it.

The thing is, no one really cares but you. Sure your friends and husband and parents want you to meet your goals, to get in shape, whatever. But when push comes to shove, it is you who has the most invested. It is you and only you who has the most to lose if you don’t stick to your plan. And, the most to gain if you do.

You have to live in your brain and heart everyday and take the brunt of not doing what you said you would do.

Back to me. This is how it went down. I woke up at 5:50 a.m., groaning. I slapped on some clothes, fed the dog and was running by 6:05 a.m. I don’t know how I did it. No coffee, no food, no iPod. I just thought, “This workout will suck and then it will be done.”

It was a tougher workout, being so tired. Plus the water fountains at the lake weren’t working and I don’t like to drink liquid e-coli, so I kept my face out of the lake. But, by mile two, as is always the case, I found my stride. 6.55 miles in 57 minutes.

I am never sorry I did it. Never. In fact, by the time I showered, stopped by Starbucks and was on my way to work at 7:30 a.m. (yes, I’m that fast. I told you I don’t like to spend time getting ready), I was on top of the world.

Here is my attempt at advice. Stop thinking so much and getting in your own way. Thinking merely allows an outlet to not do something. Just put it into action without the forethought of: it’s too hot, I’m too tired, I don’t have time, I don’t feel like it. If being in shape, losing weight, running marathons was easy, everyone would do it. It’s not supposed to be easy.

When those thoughts creep in, kick them to the curb. Then do what you said you were going to do. You’ll be glad you did.

How do you motivate yourself when the going gets tough?

SUAR

The Only Way to Live

Today could NOT have been a more perfect day for a long bike ride. It more than made up for my shitty (literally) long run of last week. You know those workouts where everything just falls into place? That was today.

Me, post-bike ride. I know. I need to have a bacon cheeseburger or something.

Ken and I set out at about 6:30 a.m. to get in a 2.5 hour ride. We’ve got the in-laws in town, so wanted to get it done early to leave time for some hearty sightseeing.

We rode the Boulder 70.3 loop then headed north to Lyons and up part of the St. Vrain Canyon.

I saw a deer antler on the side of the road, those fuzzy kind. Wanted to pick it up and put it in my bike scrotum (saddle bag), but it wouldn’t fit.

I wish I could express how gorgeous it was with clear skies, snow capped mountains and rushing white water. Sometimes I have to pinch myself that I live here. I am so glad that 18 years ago Ken and I took a risk, packed up our cars and drove west from Virginia for Colorado. No jobs, no place to live, no friends, no family. But, we made it ours and created a life here. Glad I did something that scared me back then – and glad I keep doing things that scare me now. It’s the only way to live beyotches!

This is actually the view from our back deck. Please come over anytime for a glass of wine and some mountains.

All in all it was 45 miles in 2:40. I’ll take it.

Do you live out of your comfort zone?

Hope you’re having a good Sunday too.

SUAR

Giving Stuff Up

*Alert* Many of you have asked about Shut Up and Run shirts. They are in the works. Had to tweak the logo a bit. I’ll let you know when they are available. Right now I am thinking of offering a tech shirt, a tank-type women’s running shirt and a visor.

If I am correct, this is what I learned from you guys about how to fit in high training volume:

• “Suck it up buttercup!” Get up way early. Plan well. (Jason)
• Less showering
• Less TV
• Don’t worry if the house is a disaster
• Give up reading, socializing, etc.
• Hydrate
• Feel free to lie on the airport floor except if you’re EMZ aka germaphobe

I've thought a lot about your advice and it really helped. This training is only for the next two months, therefore temporary. I am willing to sacrifice big time to get to the start line of this freaking race and to complete it. This got me to thinking…what am I not willing to give up?

• The quality of my parenting
• I will keep turning off computer/training/everything at 8pm, cuddling up on the couch and watching an hour or two of TV/movie or reading. This is my only down time of the day and I’m not getting rid of it. Probably will keep that glass of wine too.
• The quality of my work in my “real job.”
• The quality of my friendships and relationships with my parents
• The quality of my marriage
• Yoga/meditation/prayer/inspirational reading
• Home cooked meals

Things I am willing to sacrifice

• Sleep; getting up at 5:00 a.m. has become no big deal
• Cleaning toilets, picking up dog poop and other house chores that I can make my kids do
• Some extraneous social events that would be fun, but aren’t completely necessary
• Shopping
• Answering the phone. I don’t usually do this anyway.
• Surfing the net
• Writing a couple of blog posts here and there. C’mon. I write every day. I might miss a few when things really ramp up.
• Showering, primping, etc. No big deal if it doesn’t happen. That’s what deodorant, FDS and smelly lotions/perfumes are for.

Today I went to Bikram (hot) yoga and am proud to say I still haven’t showered. It could get ugly around here. I’m just doing what you told me to do.

In other news, it’s day two of Sam being in Chicago with the grandparents. Our text exchange:

Me: Emma and I are getting pedicures. Wish u were here.

Yeah, that second toe IS a finger. So what?

Sam: I’m at Marshall Fields

Me: Buy me something

Sam: Like what?

Me: A bra or tampons.

I never got a response on that one. I think he’s traumatized.

Do you embarrass or humiliate your children on purpose?

What are you willing to sacrifice to train for races?

SUAR

Laying on the Airport Floor

Here’s what I want to know. How the hell do you do it? Fit it all in?

This half ironman training is ridiculous. I seriously do not know how anyone trains for a full ironman and ever sees friends, gets work done, reads a book, cooks a meal, takes a dump, or washes the stains out of their shorts. Or, maybe they don’t. It’s insane.

This week I am trying to do a ten hour training week.

This is harder than it sounds. This means that most days I am doing double workouts or very long workouts. Today, for example, I got up and ran 7.17 miles and a few hours later went and swam 1,800 yds. That’s a total of 1:43 in workouts for today. Might not sound like much but when I’m trying to sandwich it in between work, kids and breathing, I find it challenging.

But, I did shower today mostly because the stench of my sweat and chlorine made me gag. I might have also had a skid in my skort from the run, but I’m not saying.

And, no, there can never be a picture without my dog in it. I think he is licking my scab. Bad dog. He follows me everywhere I go. He even doggy paddled while I swam laps today.

I was thinking about something. Why is this training kicking my butt so much when I train for and run marathons? I realized that even with marathon training, I would max out at about eight hours per week.

Maybe what I feared has come to pass. I really am a pussy.

A very small part of me is questioning why I signed up for this thing. I swear, I would consider dropping out (pussy) if I hadn’t paid $250 to sign up. Well, knowing me that is a lie. I wouldn’t drop out, but I will continue to wonder if I can keep this up.

In other daily news, son Sam left to go to Chicago for four days with my mom and dad. Yes, he’s 13, but I run a prison and he’s never been away from home without me for more than two nights. I like to think I am not an overly hovering or controlling mom, but I’m sure my kids might say different. Last night while watching his baseball game I texted him.

Me: I miss you already

Sam (after the game): You do? I’m looking at you right now.

When he left today I told him to call/text me so much it was annoying. I quickly got a text with this picture:

It said, “mom and baby laying on airport floor. knew you would like this.”

Made me smile.

I lied and told him he and I used to always do that. NOT. You won't catch me doing anything on an airport floor.

And now, I had a work appointment to get to in a hurry and my car is dead. Can you come over and jump me? Not in the dark alley sense, but in the jumper cable sense?

Do you lay on floors in airports?

How do you handle high high training volume without burning out or getting bitchy?

Are you a controlling parent? I like to think I am involved, but not controlling. I may be kidding myself.

It’s only 1:57 pm, but wine might be calling my name. I’ll try to hold off until 5pm.

SUAR

Peeping Tom

This morning’s workout:

2 hour bike ride: 34 miles (17 mph avg)
30 minute run: 3.5 miles (8:36 min/mi avg)

These workouts kill me. I am tired. We rode half of the Boulder 70.3 course plus a bit more. The wind kicked up and I cussed. It got hot. The run was faster than I thought it would be, but I was bone tired by the end. I am not convinced that in just over two months I will be able to swim 1.2, bike 56 and run 13.1.

Will I?

Post workout, I came inside, grabbed some Muscle Milk  and water and sat on the back porch in my sport’s bra and underwear. The bike shorts had to come off immediately. They just had to. I usually go commando, but the underwear provides just a touch extra protection for the lady bits.

Yes, I am a bit dazed.

Golfers (yes, I live on a golf course, now you know) and neighbors be damned. Instead of yelling “Fore!” they can yell “Whore!” I am in my undies because I just did a brick workout and these lengthy episodes kick my ass. So, MYOB (mind your own business).

Call the cops or be a peeping Tom, I don’t care.

What was your workout today? Did you flash anyone?

SUAR

She’s a Beauty

I am in the market for a new bike. I am currently riding a 20 year old Specialized Allez that weighs 95 pounds and is a safety hazard. My birthday was over two months ago, and I was promised a new bike then, but I didn’t get around to shopping until today.

I have my sights set on this baby. The Trek Lexa SLX:

She’s a beauty.

It is obviously not a tri-bike. I didn't want one of those, at least not yet. If I want, I can get it souped-up tri-style with aero-bars, seat change, etc. when the half ironman gets closer. It is a women’s design, aluminum frame (I know –not top of the line carbon, but what can I say? My pimp didn’t pay me this month and I’m running low on funds). It’s a great bike and comes in at about $1,300 which is do-able. Actually, with the sale going on now, it will be $1,100 with free maintenance, fittings and tune ups.

Seriously, if you could see the bike I am riding now, you would agree that anything is going to feel like a Cadillac in comparison. It is the equivalent of going from this:

Then trying this:

BTW, that thrown above goes for $12,000. Best place to take a shit on earth.

What kind of bike (or toilet) do you have? Is it a keeper?

Good luck to the love of my life, KEN, who will run his first marathon tomorrow.

And, best possible vibes to my dear friend Julie is is participating in the 2011 USAT Duathlon National Championship in Tucson this morning. If she qualifies, she competes in Spain in September.

SUAR

Freaking Part-Time Job

This is much harder than I thought it was going to be.

There is no way I’m not doing my Half  Ironman in August. I paid the $250 registration fee and my ass will be there sucking down every last sip of Gatorade and hoping I can find a hunky volunteer to rub sunscreen on my…inside thigh? That area gets a lot of sun, you know.

I’m not sure how I'm going to pull off the distance, but I will because I said I would.

I mean it’s no problem for me to swim 1.2 miles or to bike 56 miles or to run 13.1 miles, but I have never attempted to do all three of those things in a row. I mean, why would I? It’s stupid and it takes too long.

With all of the Boston hoopla, I failed to realize that this small triathlon is less than 16 weeks away. That means training needed to start like last week. Darn it. Too bad I have spent the last week drinking wine, eating Easter candy and admiring my Boston medal like a newborn baby (without the sucking on teat issue).

So, today I buckled down and tried to make sense of what a training plan for this thing might look like.

Yes, I wear glasses when I’m not wearing contacts. Call me four eyes and I’ll ram that pencil somewhere.

I begged Ken to help me. He is doing it also. I reached out to Jason and Mama Runs Barefoot for some SOS. I googled “70.3 training plans,” looked over Beginner Triathlete, Tri Newbies and Amateur Endurance.  I realized, much to my alarm, that most people train like 15 hours a week for these things. Seriously? That’s like a part time job. I don’t know if hookers even work that much.

Now I have a plan. It is in pencil, but it is a plan. It requires 9-13 hours per week of training including 2 swims, 2 brick workouts (bike then run), yoga, one long run and one rest day.  This mighty SUAR plan is infallible. I just know it.

Pretty soon this mess of pencil and crooked lines will be transformed into a picture-perfect chart with equally- spaced rows and columns and lots of pretty colors, unicorns and rainbows.

This plan starts Monday. That means I have exactly four more days to slack off. Except that today I am swimming because I have the coolest new product to try out and review  - hint: what happens when you put water and music together?

1. You have the pussy posse doing water aerobics
2. You have an electrocution
3. You have a way to swim to your favorite tunes?

You will have to wait and see.

I know my friend, Dana, said “Don’t go jumping into lots of races” or something like that. Take time to rest. I guess this is technically jumping into another race, but I have convinced myself it’s okay because it’s a “running lite” plan. Kind of like when you’re trying to cut back so you drink “Coors Lite” instead of full blown Coors.

A couple of you asked to see the training plan when it’s done. Okay. I’ll do it as soon as I do it.

Ever done a 70.3 or *gasp* full IM? Any tips?

Off to find some lite beer,

SUAR