No Snooping

Things are definitely looking up. Even Lucky, the three legged, one eyed, ball-less dog knows it (at least he hasn’t yet lost his tongue). I am not a professional photographer, but clearly I should be.

My week:

Monday: Ran 5.35 miles (run 10 mins, walk 2 mins)
Tuesday: Rest  + 1 hour of PT
Wednesday: Ran 5.5 miles
Thursday: Swam 2100 yards
Friday: Ran 4.1 miles
Saturday: Will bike 90 minutes
Sunday: Will do 90 minutes hot yoga

What is a girl to do when she can finally run again? Get new shoes.

All you minimalist shoe lovers, I see you cringing. I’m not ready to go there yet. These are actually the shoes (Mizuno Wave Inspire 6) I have been in for awhile now, including running very successfully in them pre-injury (BQ). I was told during my gait analysis that they are a good fit for me. Since I have increased my cadence I am working on moving towards a more mid foot strike and I can do that in these babies.

Plus, they have a lime green color in them and that reminds me of margaritas and vodka tonics and that makes me happy. And, the shoes were reduced from $100 to $53 (Running Warehouse), so I have an extra $46 to spend on margaritas in Costa Rica next week.

Can you freaking believe I am running? I am still pinching myself. Four months from yesterday I was diagnosed with my hip stress fracture and could barely walk. This week I ran 14.95 miles and I’m going to round that up to 15 miles because I deserve to round things up after the hellish past four months.

I am here to tell you that if you are injured, it will get better, but you have to be very diligent about your recovery. Strength train. Stretch. Do any and all cross training that is safe for your injury. Eat well. Sleep a lot. Cry when you need to, but don’t stay there long. Persevere. Know it is temporary. Have goals and meet them.

I sent my Boston or Bust training plan to my exercise physiologist and doctor to review. I wanted to make sure of two things:

1. This plan was conservative enough to not hurt me
2. This plan would prepare me adequately so when I run in Boston I won’t be comatose on a stretcher with my hip in a plastic bag at aid station #6.

Basically, I max out at 24 miles/week with my longest run being 13 miles. And, then there is shit load of cross training. Feedback from the exercise physiologist was informative:

“I think this plan looks very good, I would encourage you to continue with walk breaks throughout your runs, especially your long runs. I think a 9 minute run, 1 minute walk or 14 minute run 1 minute walk would serve you best for your training and the Boston Marathon itself. I think 13 miles is adequate for a long run for you as well.

I’d encourage you to lengthen some of your non-running workouts in order to do some workouts in the 3-4 hour range.  The purpose of these longer workouts is to prepare your body to exercise for that duration. I think you’d be better served to add duration to your cross training than to add more running.

If it doesn’t bother you, you could also add in a longer walk or hike. The Japanese and Korean style marathon training programs typically include a lot of long walks to build up time on the feet with a low impact activity. I think some 45-90+ minute walks or relatively flat hikes could be a good addition so long as they don’t bother you. I would have you do any long walks on Mondays in place of or in addition to water running/swimming.”

I was especially interested in the Japanese/Korean style of marathon training. This was new information for me.

And, as if it couldn’t get any better, tonight is my birthday party, so if you could be there I’d appreciate it. Ken sent out an Evite saying, “Leave the kids at home and come celebrate all things Beth!” Guess that means we celebrate running and bodily functions and social work and Athleta and mothering and drinking coffee/wine and blogging and hot baths and Dean. But not hot baths with Dean, unfortunately.

Don’t get all carried away. Today is not my birthday. It’s Tuesday, 2/22. You can save your birthday wishes for then when I remind you again.

One final perk of the day. Got this email today from a reader. It was simple and to the point:

“I sneezed so hard I pooped a little. Would that be considered a snoop?”

Hoping I don’t snoop at my party,

SUAR

PS: Don’t forget my Butt Shield Giveaway!

Happy Boobs

Wow, it got all serious up in here yesterday with talk of injuries and American Idol and beating up bitches in alleyways. By the way, did you know I was injured? Because I never talk about it. Did you know I ran with Dean K.? Because I never talk about that either. I am going to have a whole post devoted to things I never talk about. Sharts might be #1. Sarcasm, #2. Or maybe #2 should be #2?

So, lets lighten the load. I don’t often copy stuff that I think is funny from other places (preferring to just resort to farts and dumping to make you smile), but this one from HERE was just too good (thanks Badge Runner for the head’s up on this blog). Be sure to click on happy boobs (as if the guys didn’t go right to happy boobs before they read even one other word contained in this post):

Murphy’s Law of Running:

• Your chances of an injury rise proportionally with the amount of the entry fee you just paid.
• If a race brochure says “no dogs or strollers,” you will see a dog get hit by a stroller.
• You will set a PR the day your chip falls off at the starting line.
• If that cute guy/girl is checking out your butt, it’s because you split your shorts.
• You will apply Vaseline to your back and BenGay to your … chafed areas.
• At Mile 24 of your marathon, the aid station will be handing out espresso-flavored Clif Shots.
• Your finish line photo will show you with happy boobs … and you’re a guy.
• After waiting in line for 45 minutes, your Porta-Potty will be out of paper … and seat covers … and then the lock will jam.
• As you sprint to the finish you will be nosed out by a 10-year-old girl.
• Medical research will reveal that eating half-bananas causes sterility.
• You win the Boston Marathon and find someone else is wearing the laurel wreath.
• You’re mistaken for an elite runner, but it’s Secretariat.
• You set the alarm properly, eat a sensible breakfast, stretch, warm up, pack your gear, and get to the starting line in plenty of time … because you forgot the race is tomorrow.

I’ll end with this. Best quote of the day. Last night I was telling my brother and sister in law how expensive the whole Boston thing is. Airfare, hotel, race entry, beer. Ken said, “That’s why you better win the damn thing!”

Never been in a porta potty that did have paper,

SUAR

It’s Official

My qualifying time of 3:42 has been verified and my name has been added to the formal entry list! (Just cause you registered doesn’t mean you’re in. You’re not in ‘til you’re IN).

As I sit here not being able to walk it is hard to imagine running this race in 176 days.

This entry verification is what I need to stay focused and optimistic. To get to the bottom of this injury and to heal into a faster, stronger and smarter runner.

Timeline

1. Tonight: Drink beer and eat wings (it is Saturday night after all).
2. Next 2-3 weeks: Crutches. No weight on left leg at all. Possible swimming with a buoy. Oprah. Drive thrus. Ass growth. Unsolicited bouts of crying.
3. Mid November: Introduce water running, swimming, walking, maybe cycling.
4. January 1st: Walk/running.
5. January 15: Start marathon training. By far my shortest training cycle (12 weeks), but it’s what I can do.

This is my wish list timeline. I could have setbacks. I could not heal swiftly. My doc seems to think I can run Boston and I’m going with that until further notice. I need to believe.

It’s kind of like a birth plan when you have a baby. You hope to high hell you don’t crap the delivery table or spew profanities at your husband or forget to breathe or wait too long to get the epidural or take drugs at all if you don’t want to. But on the day itself you have to be willing to surrender to reality for the health of you child, whatever that is. Best advice my doc ever gave me was to have a plan, but realize it might not go just so. Because much to my chagrin I did crap and I did spew and I did do drugs.

About running the marathon: “Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” – Charles Kettering

About the crutches and injury: “I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows.” – Bart Simpson

Blowing and sucking,

SUAR

$100 Giveaway for Fitness

So what if it’s 1:58 p.m. and I’m still in my pajamas? People who use crutches should be allowed to:

• Stay in their PJs all day
• Drop f-bombs rapidly and frequently
• Hit or poke people or dogs with a crutch if they get in the way
• Drink alcohol in copious amounts
• Park in handicapped spots
• Get any Starbucks drink they want for free
• Elicit sympathy from everyone (Fedex guy, cops, etc), not just their mom (thanks for the apple pie, mom).
• Decorate their crutches 

I’m going to endorse the Urban Dictionary’s definition of crutches:

Deathly pre-evolved devices with the purpose of aiding one with an injured leg, knee, ankle, etc. May cause drowsiness, sweating, and result in massive upper-body strength. Ultimately, makes one look like a badass god/goddess capable of surviving any difficult circumstance.

I really like the goddess/badass part.

Here’s the thing. If I can sit here with crutches by my side and a fractured hip in my body and still make a commitment to a fitness goal, so can you. In fact, I am so sure you can do this, that….

In honor of Jared (Subway guy) running his first marathon in NYC in November, Subway wants to give one of you up to $100 towards your own fitness challenge of your choice. This can be anything ranging from a race entry fee, a new class you want to try (Zumba? Tai Chi?), hiring a fitness coach of some sort, you name it. So, think about how you might want to Commit to Fit, especially if you had $100 to apply towards your goal.

Me? Duh! My $100 is going towards registering for the Boston Marathon on Monday.

Here’s how to enter (comment for each):

1. Tell me what you would put your $100 of towards (this needs to be an activity you are committed to completing as a fitness challenge, not food, clothing, ipods, watches, etc)  +1 entry
2. Write about this giveaway on your blog, FB, Twitter, etc. +1 entry
3. Follow this blog or let me know if you do already + 1 entry
4. Enter Subway’s FB sweepstakes HERE and let me know + 1 entry

This giveaway will end on 10/20.

The fine print:

• Per FTC guidelines: Subway provided the (up to) $100 to be applied towards the winners fitness challenge. They also gave me a $100 to go towards my own challenge. I did not pay anything for this.
• Contest only open to US residents. Sorry! 
• The winner will be chosen at random by Random.org
• Check back October 20 to see if you won!
• If I don’t hear back from the winner within 2 days after posting that they’ve won, I’ll Random.org another name

For more information about the Commit to Fit program and for a chance to win up to $26,200 please visit the Subway Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/Subway.

Here’s to getting fit,

SUAR

Colorado Marathon Race Report – Part Two

When we left off last, Tara and I were starting our marathon journey down the canyon. We parted ways as we had different time and pace goals.

With the pre-race night I had, I had no clue what I could or would bring to this race. I expected the best, but was prepared for the worst. The temps were about 30 degrees, the air was crisp and cool and the sun was just starting to emerge through the canyon. We were running to the east, so the sun warmed our faces. I had on my cheetah running skirt to make me think I could run fast. I had asked for and gotten this skirt from Running Skirts for Christmas specifically for this race. I only wore it once during training to make sure it didn’t chafe in all the wrong places. It didn't. And no, I never soiled it.

Here was my strategy going into the race - it wasn’t rocket science: Run the first two miles 10-15 seconds slower than race pace (8:40). Pick it up after that and maintain between an 8:30 and 8:40 pace for the remainder of the race. I wore a pace band, and set it for a 3:45 marathon to give me some wiggle room.

I was good for the first mile and took it slow.

Mile 1: 8:49

Mile 2: 8:27 (well, I kind of broke my rule on this one).

Another marathon rule I had was to drink at every aid station, alternating sports drink (Heed during this race) and water or drinking both. I stuck to this for the entire race with the exception of miles 24 and 25 when I couldn’t have given a shit, I just wanted to get to the finish. I had decided I would take a Hammer gel every five miles.

Mile 3: 8:28

Mile 4: 8:21

The sun was starting to really shine through now. No one on the course was talking. It was extremely peaceful with only the sound of running shoes on pavement and the white water flowing in the river only feet from the road.  I was completely and utterly in the present moment. I had decided to hold off on any music until at least the halfway point, and was very glad I did. There are so few moments in life when we are simply present. When we are not worried about much of anything, are not multi-tasking, are not distracted. We are just taking in what is before us. I did not know if I would make it 26.2 miles. I did not know if I would meet any of my goals. I did know I could put one foot in front of the other.

Mile 5: 8:19 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 6: 8:18

Mile 7: 8:22

At this point I decided to take advantage of the downhill and bank some time. I knew that these miles would be my fastest because once we got out of the canyon (about mile 17), it would flatten out and there would be some hills. I checked my pace band every mile and knew I was at least 2 minutes ahead of a 3:45 marathon. It was good to know I had a cushion if I needed to slow down later. I started to pass a girl and she said “Geez!” I asked her what was wrong and she said, “Well, if anyone passes me I look at their legs and if their legs are strong and toned like yours, I decide it’s okay for them to pass me.” Then she added, “But, I AM NOT GAY!” Her being gay was the last thing on my mind. Like I would worry about a lesbian hitting on me at this point anyway. She told me she was running her first marathon and wanted to break four hours. I told her she was WAY on track to do this. We would run together until about mile 18 when her husband jumped into the road blaring a trumpet. Made me totally crack up. I lost her. I hope she met her goal. I love runners.

Mile 8: 8:27

Mile 9: 8:22

You think about a lot of things while you run. Now I thought about Lucky and the fact that he would have his eye removed in the morning. I cried a bit. Lucky has the must stunning, big, beautiful brown eyes and it killed me to think one of them would be gone. I kept thinking about that quote that “the eyes are the window to the soul” and it broke my heart. I tried to file the sadness away, but sometimes it overtook me.

Mile 10: 8:17 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 11: 8:30

Mile 12: 8:11

I thought about the fact that I was nearing the halfway mark. I got such a mental boost when I thought I was coming up on mile 11, but it was really mile 12! At this point I knew Ken had started the half marathon and was on the same course. It gave me some comfort knowing he was close by. I hoped he was having a great race. What I didn't know was that he had blown out his calf at mile 3 and had to hobble the remaining 10 miles.

Mile 13: 8:07

Half marathon time: 1:49 – right on track for a BQ!

First marathon girl and I whooped and hollered as we passed the halfway point. There is something so mentally uplifting about knowing you are halfway. I had just congratulated myself for not having any poop emergencies when I had an unexpected squirt in the skort. It would be the only one for the race, but at the time I got a little freaked. It was so surprising I actually yelled out, “Shit!” And it was.

Mile 14: 8:04

Mile 15: 8:20 – Tried to take a chocolate Hammer. It was like tar. Threw it away after gagging

Mile 16: 8:32

As we came out of the canyon the sun was in full force. Mile 17 was the first point where we saw spectators. My only marathon experience was the Rock ‘n Roll Phoenix which had thousands of spectators and entertainment every step of the way. This was such a different experience. Seeing those people cheering me on as I cruised by was incredibly invigorating. I felt like I was flying.

Mile 17: 8:29

Mile 18: 8:06

I’m not a big Rod Stewart fan, but I have always loved the song Forever Young because of the message contained in the song. This was playing in my ear as I cruised by the spectators. May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam. May sunshine and happiness surround you when you’re far from home. May you grow to be proud, dignified and true. And do unto others as you'd have done to you…

Mile 19: 8:19

Mile 20: 8:21 – banana Hammer gel

There was a big ass climb called Bagel Hill between miles 19 and 20. I saw an aid station at the top and was concentrating on that. I powered up the hill. I had given myself permission to grab a drink at the aid station and walk through, drinking, until the trash can several feet away. It was mentally good to know I could take 10 seconds rest walking at each aid station if need be.

At mile 20 I had a great boost when Jill appeared to cheer me on and run with me for a bit. She really lifted my spirits – told me all the things everyone wants to hear at mile 20: “You look great!”, “It’s all downhill from here.” “You’re almost there.” Thanks Jill, I needed that!

Mile 21: 8:20

Mile 22: 8:50

Mile 23: 8:38

At this point, I had to dig deep. Everything below my waist hurt. I started to feel sick. I knew it was only three miles to the finish, and I knew that I had trained for this very moment. Here is where my mental strength would need to take over my body. I expected this to come and when it came, I was prepared. I dissociated from my physical body in a sense. I told myself I was tough. I told myself that nothing would keep me from my goal. I reminded myself that I was running towards my mom, dad, husband and kids who were at the finish line. It was Mother's Day. I teared up. I knew at most I would only be running another 25-30 minutes. I knew I could do anything for that amount of time.

Mile 24: 9:08

Slowest mile of the race and most challenging. I clung onto two girls beside me who were going for a similar time goal. This was the point at which a volunteer was trying to balance three feet of stacked HEED cups and just happened to let them fall right in my path. I was not in the mood for this and had to hurdle them to avoid falling. Freaking A!!!  I told myself I could slow down until mile 25. Then I agreed with myself I would pick it up for the rest of the race. Yes, I was talking to myself at this point.

Mile 25: 8:35

I knew I had done it. I knew I could walk the rest of the way (but I wouldn’t) and still make my goal. I started yelling “YES!” and a huge smile took over my face.

Mile 26: 8:29

I saw Ken, my biggest fan, at the 26 mile mark. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life!! He yelled, “Go baby go. You’ve got this! Run to the finish!” I turned the corner and saw the FINISH line sign. It was SO close.

.2 mile: 8:10

I sped up, searching the crowd for my parents and kids. I saw them on the side lines and cheering me on. Sam took these photos:

I crossed the line and fell into my dad’s arms, sobbing. Then my mom’s. It came gushing out.  The stress fracture, the missed marathon in November, the weeks of training, the love and support of family and friends, Lucky.

    

Final stats: 3:42:36/ 8:28 pace/ 8th out of 70th in age group

And…I shaved 21 minutes off of my one/only marathon time (4:03 - 17 months ago)

Then reality set in and in perfect Shut Up and Run style I started to feel sick:

I knew all those gels wanted to get out via the colon. I headed to the porta potty and some guy in line said, “Cheetah girl! You were really kickin it at the end.” I said, “…and I got my Boston qualifier.” He started screaming, “Cheetah girl is going to Boston!” I love runners.

I knew we had to make it home and make it home quick. I spent the afternoon in bed and on the toilet. Who cares? One of the best days ever. By 5pm I was up for a margarita.

And at 7:30 the next morning Lucky got his eye removed.  He is fine. He still has one beautiful brown eye. He is one eyed and three legged. And he still has an erection.

Thanks for reading about my journey. Running is so much more than physical. It is about accomplishment, determination, discipline and success. It makes me a better person.

Colorado Marathon Race Report – Part One

I’ll start this lengthy report answering the question on everyone’s mind. Did I mess my pants during the race? The short answer is no, not really. I had a very unexpected squirt at mile 15, but other than that, did not so much as stop at a porta-potty to pee. I know, weird, right? I swear my body did well with the lack of fiber and dairy in the days leading up to the race. Plus, not by my choice, but I was unable to eat the night before the race or morning of. While I wouldn’t recommend this, I think my tummy being empty was key. More details on that later.

I’m going to be honest. Last week sucked. I was all nerves. I could not shake this feeling of almost dread about the race. I was not excited, I was anxious. I wanted to meet my goals so badly that I was putting tons of pressure on myself. I love to run, but my love of running had taken a backseat.

So, Saturday had me on edge. After a good day of distraction with the kids’ soccer game and piano recital we dumped them on my parents and headed up to the expo in Ft. Collins (45 mins away). It was pretty small and dumpy with just a few tables set up in a dark and windowless room. Schwag bag was nothing but one Hammer gel, a too small tech shirt and some coupons. We did get to see Tara and then went to drive some of the marathon course. This lifted my spirits a bit and got me kind of excited even. I mean, who wouldn’t want to run this (It’s the Poudre Canyon. People around here refer to it as the Poudre – pronounced “pooter.” If they are taking a drive in this canyon, they say they are going “up the pooter,” which always make me laugh. How can you say that with a straight face)?     

 

We then headed for home.  I’m such a control freak, I had it all figured out - get take out: buttered noodles with chicken. Go home and eat, have a small glass of wine for the nerves, put bib on shirt, chip on shoe, set coffee maker, lights out by 8:30pm for a 3:00am wake up call.

What’s that saying about God laughing when we make plans? All of my intentions fell to shit when we walked in the door at 7:30 and I took a look at my dog, Lucky. Let me remind you Lucky is not so lucky because he has three legs and a penis that always hangs out. Like lipstick, but much grosser. On this night, Lucky was especially unlucky as his eye was seeping goop and it looked like he had had a stroke. He was clearly in pain and sick.  I took him to a pet ER (never in the eight years we’ve had this dog have I had to do this). I figured it was only 7:30pm, so if the vet quickly took care of the problem, I would be on time for a 9pm bedtime. Six hours of sleep? Perfect.

As the hours ticked by I realized I would not be going anywhere anytime soon. I learned that Lucky needed the eye removed and it would be a late night. I started sobbing. You have to understand. I love my dog, but I’m not someone who is going to sink tons of money into keeping an old dog with a big penis alive. But how can you put a dog down because of a bad eye? And my kids are so attached to this damn dog. And I might be a little attached too.

Emma (at age 3) with her dog, Lucky

The vet must have thought I was especially emotional about my dog losing his eye. After all I was carrying on like Jake from the Bachelor.  Yes, that was part of it. But the other part was that I needed to get to bed for the race, dammit. I considered not doing the marathon. How could I do it on no sleep and all this stress? Finally, I called my friend who is a vet and we decided to give Lucky pain meds and take him home and do the surgery first thing Monday.

I got home at 11:30pm. I had not had my dinner and couldn’t eat it anyway. Lucky had a cone on his head and was high from all the drugs. He was running into everything.  I had a glass of wine and tried to sleep. I got to sleep by midnight. 3am came early and I looked like shit  this:

It was not pretty. I was not pretty. In fact, I was downright stressed and depressed. I felt for sure I would bonk at mile five and run a really slow race. All that training out the window, for nothing. I would be lucky to break my first marathon time of 4:03.

But, here’s where the human spirit perseveres and prevails!! I met Tara at the buses at 4:15am. She was as much of a mess as I was. We were both hoping for a rock slide or avalanche so the race would be called off, but we would not be quitters.  It was a lifesaver having her there on that long bus ride up the canyon. We tried to eat, but there was some dry heaving. The girl behind us threw up. We got off the bus in darkness and both laid down some nuggets in the porta potties. We huddled up for warmth at the start, hugged, cried and started out.

Stay tuned…

Q & A Time

I don’t get tons of questions from bloggers. Probably because I’m no expert on anything, and everyone knows it.  But, occasionally I get a query and I don’t want to leave you hanging. So, read on:

Apple Crumbles asked, “The day after a long run, say 18 - 22 miles or even a marathon, do you feel depressed or cranky? I'm trying to figure out if I refueled correctly or if it's simply over stressing.”

Hello my Apple Crumble friend! What are apple crumbles anyway? Reminds me of cobbler or streusel…hmmm…streusel.  But, I digress. Yes, I get a bit out of whack the day after a long run or a race. Mostly it’s because I’m usually taking the day off and don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running and getting that adrenaline fix. However, sometimes, I’m just glad to have the freaking day off!

Certainly after a race, especially a marathon, there is that mental letdown of knowing what you have worked for over the past months has come and gone. My advice, be kind to yourself and don’t spend too much time dwelling on if/why you’re in the mood you’re in. Just re-focus and put your energies elsewhere. Like making something with apples that crumbles and sending it to me.

FitMacDaddy proclaimed, “Man, I would not be a runner if I had your intestines! I can't even poop in someone else's house, let alone on the side of the road. I've been known to hold in my poops for entire camping trips!”

Then he wanted to know, “What is your marathon goal now that you're such a speedster?”

Wow, Mac Daddy. My hope for you is that you never go on a two week camping trip. And not pooping in people’s houses? That’s hard core. I think I’ve stopped-up every toilet of every friend and acquaintance I’ve ever had. Then there was one time at that frat party, but I won’t go into that.

As far as my marathon goal – did you just call me a speedster? I think I love you. Seriously. My goal is a very original one. I don’t think any other blogger has ever mentioned it: to BQ. But in reality, I like to have several goals when racing. I’d take any of these end results, but would prefer #3:

1. Beat 4:03, the time of my first marathon
2. Break 4 hours
3. BQ by coming in under 3:50:59. I have been training to run a 3:45 marathon, but we all know just because you train for a certain time doesn't mean you get that time. A girl can hope and dream, can’t she?
4. Win the race by running a 2:12 marathon. Totally doable.

Jennifer (URL not available) queried, “You may have answered this question before but do you carry TP with you on all your runs? The pooping doesn't concern me as much as the wiping. If you do have TP with you what do you do with it?”

Excellent question. No, I do not carry TP and I’ll tell you why. The roll does not fit in my fuel belt. Really, I don’t carry it because the whole thing is gross and inappropriate and yucky with or without the TP. If I use TP then I have to stay in the shit position longer, find a way to dispose of the TP (I am NOT carrying it home along side of my cell phone), and be aware of how much I am NOT washing my hands after wiping. And if I want to wash my hands after wiping that means I need to bring some antibacterial soap and it just never ends. Kind of like that book, “If You Give a Mouse a Pancake” and how he’s going to want syrup and a plate and a napkin to go with it. Live simply.

LMC stated, “I absolutely love the new background on your blog. Is it the Colorado River?”

I have no clue what it is. I would like to lie and say that yes, in fact, it is the Colorado River and I took this picture while I kayaked down thus river right after running a marathon. But truth be told, I got this off of the new blogger/draft site. If you haven’t visited this site and you’re with Blogger, give it a try. It will improve the aesthetics of your blog and we will all thank you for it.

Steve Q. questioned, “Can glow sticks be used as tampons?”

Fantastic question, Steve. I have never used a glow stick as a tampon, and I’m guessing it’s not advisable. I know things get dark in there, but do we really need to make it glow?

Kim exclaimed, “I did 18 miles this morning and thought of you. I was jogging along, working out the morning farts when all of a sudden - RED ALERT - it was not just a fart. Got it clamped in time but had to find a bathroom fast - luckily the assisted living place nearby was open. Thanks, old people!”

She then asked, “Aren't you glad I think of you when I have to crap in the middle of a run?”

I am wiping tears from my keyboard right now because of how touched I am. When people crap and they do so in my name or at the very least think of me during the act, it is incredibly flattering. BTW, going poop in an assisted living place is genius. You could do it on the seat or even in your pants and it would be par for the course. You could also steal a couple of Depends on your way out.

Apple C. wanted to know, “What are the Hammer / Heed products? Can you offer a link? I have a whole box of GU but I can't stand the stuff.”

So, my crumble friend, have you made my dessert yet?

The Hammer/Heed products are all the rage, especially for those of us plagued by GI issues when we run.  Their claim to fame is that the gel and sport’s drink products are full of ingredients that are easier to digest than most sport’s stuff out there. You can read to your heart’s content HERE, but basically you get a tasty and affordable product with the essential carbs (23 g.) and electrolytes, but it’s gentler on the tummy. Only 2 g. of sugar. The sport’s drink, HEED, is less sweet than most drinks because Hammer uses Xylitol - “a natural substance that can be found in a variety of fibrous fruits and vegetables.” Check it out. I ordered 32 serving powder for about $20. And Ms. Apple, they have an apple spice gel that is yummy. Without crumbles.

Sarah admitted, “I actually had potty issues on my long run today and I thought of you....is that strange??”

No, Sarah, not strange at all. Many people think of me when they have “potty issues.” I’m pretty sure Obama takes dumps with me on his mind.

Meg noted, “Super run and hey, YOU QUOTED Buddha on my blog! You never cease to amaze me with your depth and breadth....from poop to the very spiritual. You didn't make that quote up, did you? Just wonderin'.”

Meg! Do you realize you just gave me credit for creating something said by Buddha! No, I didn’t make up that quote. It came right from the big bellied God himself.  He who thinks I write like Buddha will have the kingdom of heaven at their fingertips.

Any other questions or queries? Any add-ons to my answers? Go for it.

Help! Where the Hell Do I Go?

So I really need advice. I am trying to pick the marathon to run in the fall that just might qualify me for Boston. I've only run one marathon (this past January - RNR Phoenix). I need to shave 13 minutes off of my time. I'm 42, so I need a 3:50.

Since I live in Colorado, I am training at 5280 ft., so I'd prefer to go to a lower elevation to take advantage of altitude training. Obviously I want kind of a flattish course (within reason), good weather, something in Sept/Oct/Nov, and a fast course. Is that too much to ask? Right now, without much research, I'm thinking about:

St. George, UT

Twin Cities, MN

Richmond

Las Vegas (Rock 'n Roll has picked up Vegas this year; I happen to LOVE anything Vegas, plus I hear you get to run through a wedding chapel and stop to make love to Elvis whenever you want)

If you've done a marathon or a half that has a marathon as a choice (or you're planning on one), how would you review it based on:

-scenery

-type of course (flat vs. hilly vs. moderate)

-typical weather

-support on the course
-numbers of people (did it feel crazy crowded)

-has anyone ever died on the course?

-is there beer at the end?

(I'm funny)

Seriously, sometimes I wish I were 80 because then I could run a 5:30 marathon and still qualify for Boston.

Are Margaritas Running Fuel?

Yesterday's Run: 13.26 miles/2:02/9.1 pace

I needed to get in 13 miles yesterday in prep for my intense half marathon next weekend. My running partner, Erin, couldn't go, so I put it on there on the almighty Facebook that I wanted someone to run the Boulder Backroads 1/2 Marathon course with me early Saturday a.m. My son's third grade teacher, Liz, who also happens to be a two-time ironman (woman), wanted to come along. SCORE!

Saturday a.m. came to early. Being Emma's birthday the night before I had one of Ken's strong margaritas, some wine and too much crap to eat. It was 30 degrees and cloudy. Plus, I was kind of intimidated to run with Liz. She is twenty years younger than me. She has completed two ironmans and countless other races. Ken said she'd "kick my ass." Not that this is a competition or anything.

Surprisingly, the miles flew by as we talked and talked. I found out that Liz is not interested in going super fast, but more interested in endurance and being able to go long distances and feeling good. I think that girl could go forever. I stopped at the halfway mark to stretch and have a gel. Liz had nothing and was ready to keep going, keep up the momentum.

Thinking about it, my approach to running is kind of similar. I'd like to become faster, but I also want to be able to go long, for hours at a time and not break down. I remember in my marathon that so many people started out really fast, and petered around mile 18 or 20. I started out pretty slow, and gained momentum as I went. I ended up with a negative split. The people who passed me at mile 2, were being passed by me at mile 21. I'm not that fast, but I think I can endure the distance pretty well.

Did you read Runner's World this month about the "magic mile" and finding your perfect pace? As I'm hoping to qualify for Boston this year, I loved this. Here it is:

• Run one mile hard with an easy couple laps for warm up.
• Don't run all out; just push a little faster than you normally do.
• Record your time.
• Use your time as a benchmark to determine what pace is appropriate for your current fitness level on your daily runs.
• Use your "magic mile" time to set realist goals for different distances.
• Add 33 seconds to your mile time to determine a pace for a 5K
• Multiply your mile time by 1.15 for a 10K
• Multiply your mile time by 1.2 for a half-marathon
• Multiply your mile time by 1.3 to predict your marathon potential

I need to run a 3:50 marathon to BQ. That means cutting 13 minutes off of my time. I am going to start my training soon. Any recommendations on a plan to use? I have found some intermediate training plans on line:

• Runners World
• Hal Higdon
• Sports Fitness Advisor
• Cool Running

Hal's is an 18 week training plan with you doing one 18 miler and two 20 milers. Cross training is thrown in one day per week along with one rest day. Runner's World is a 16 week plan with two rest days, goal pace intervals, one 18 miler, one 19 miler and one 20 milers. Sports Fitness has you training for 18 weeks with two rest days per week, two 20 milers and one 18 miler; Lastly, Cool Running is a 20 week program with one rest day per week, speed days, 3-10K races, one 20 miler, one 22 miler and one 26 miler! This last one seems like the toughest. Has anyone tried this?

Is It Spring Yet?

Today is my 42nd birthday. Do you make resolutions on your birthday or on New Year's or not ever? I laid in bed this morning feeling slightly hungover making a resolution that I shouldn't drink so much. Famous last words.

My back is feeling better after an intense deep tissue massage on Thursday. This woman is amazing. She showed me on one of those detailed body pictures where my trouble was (sacral iliac, blah, blah). Then she had me lay face down, put my legs in frog position (this probably looked very attractive from above), and kneaded my glutes and hams to death. It was a good hurt. I was glad she couldn't see the faces I was make into the hole thing on the end of the table. Voila! 24 hours later I felt great.

Now that I'm no longer training with Team in Training and don't have a coach organizing my runs, I am trying to be my own coach and to organize my own runs. My former team mate, Erin, is on board. We've been meeting for longer runs on Saturdays. She'll join me to run the grueling Horsetooth Half in April.

So...time to get back to running so I don't have to envy the girl on the treadmill. We awoke to snow, freezing temps and icy roads on Saturday a.m. It was 15 degrees when I planted water and lemon lime Cliff blocks at our half way point. We decided to run part of the Boulder Backroads Marathon Course - dirt roads winding through farms right along the foothills. We just went out and back five miles for a total of ten miles (in case you can't do the math). I woremy Polar watch for the first time. I am thoroughly overwhelmed by all of the buttons and options. It'll take some getting used to. Our time was not fast (1:32), but we did negative splits. The first five were 9.7 minute miles. In the way back we were doing more like 8.7 minute miles.

Today I'm glad that my 42 year old body can still run ten miles. That my 42 year old body can hopefully run a tough half marathon in April. That my 42 year old body will run another marathon this fall. That my 42 year old body can (maybe, just maybe) qualify for Boston.

Keep On Keeping On

The view outside my window today

There is nothing like waking up to this!

I got really inspired today reading a friend's post (http://www.cjwomack.blogspot.com/). "Macker," as we call him, described his journey to qualify for Boston. As with most running stories, it becomes less about the running and more about the personal quest - the emotional, mental and spiritual components that factor into meeting a goal that you once thought impossible.

Reading Macker's story reminded me of something important. When we have goals and know other people who have reached the goals that we have, sometimes we tend to oversimplify. We see people where we want to be and think that it must have been easy for them, and that it is not so easy for us. I knew my friend Macker qualified for and ran Boston and that he was faster than you average runner. I always assumed he came out of the womb that way, born to run. I differentiated myself from people like Macker, thinking that running is not natural for me, I am not gifted as a runner, I have to WORK hard for my results. But when I read Macker's post, I realized that he worked very hard for his results and the victories did not always come easy. He tweaked his running style along the way, he ran several marathons before qualifying, that he went through times in his life where he did not run as much.

The lesson is that few people achieve big goals effortlessly. Some people have natural talents that others do not, but most people have to work hard for what they have. Most people have "failed" several times or have been rejected several times before reaching their goal. Intellectually, we all know this, but sometimes we talk ourselves out of it, deciding that it is just us who has hardships. No, it is ALL of us, everyday.

This isn't just about running. That married couple who looks so happy on the surface? They have probably worked hard to maintain that happiness and may have even gone through a time that threatened their marriage. Who knows, what you see may not actually be the truth of what is going on. That person who is in your dream job? They likely had to put in many hours paying their dues, suffering through bosses they didn't like, and working long hours.

Most things worth having and accomplishing do not come easy. That is what makes the victory so amazing. For me, that's the high of running a marathon. Something in the human spirit sings when you go further than you thought was possible.

Marathon Toe

I call it my marathon toe. It's my badge of honor, my battle wound. My proof that I did something big, and that it hurt. And my feet are ugly, aren't they? You can say it or think it. I know it's true. It's no wonder that long, finger-like second toe took it the hardest. That thing is obscene.

It's almost two weeks later and I've skill got this mark of pride. If my nail falls off, I just might frame it in a shadow box. I did it. I did it.

My journey started in September 2008. A little card arrived in the mail talking about joining something called Team in Training. The weather was beautiful in Colorado and I enjoyed running. Maybe I could run a 1/2 marathon by January. Just maybe. At the informational meeting I learned three things: 1) everyone there thought I should train for a full marathon, screw this half business 2) in exchange for training me and paying my way to the marathon, I'd have to raise (gasp!) $3,900 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society 3) I'd be expected to train at 7:00 a.m. every Saturday morning for the next 17 weeks to prep for the marathon.

I thought long and hard. Well, not really. I just signed up. I could get out of it if I wanted, right? I mean I had never run more than a 10K and my fastest time at that was 54 minutes. I was no long distance runner and I was no speed demon. Who was I kidding.

But by that first training I was hooked.

And four months later I ran my first marathon - the Rock and Roll in Phoenix - with a time of 4:03. Immediately after the marathon I was bummed - couldn't I have squeezed in under 4 hours? Wouldn't any self respecting marathoner be able to do that? My hubby reminded me that my bar was set too high. Some of the only people I've know who have run marathons are maniacs and have finished sub-3 1/2 hours. I learned that is not the norm, and that my time was actually - well - a very good time for a first time out.

I was on a high. Quicker than I could stop doing the marathon shuffle (i.e., shuffling through the Phoenix airport, legs hurting, blister oozing, proudly wearing my medal - yes I wore it to the airport and on the plane - the flight attendant asked me if I had won the race - duh!) anyway, before the pus dried, I was setting my sites on the next marathon. Apparently not everyone likes to run long distances and make themselves susceptible to pain, blisters, blue toenails, diarrhea, cramps and dehydration, but I DO! And in the back of my mind I heard that subtle whisper - "If you did 4:03, you could certainly shave off 12 minutes and do 3:50:59 to qualify for Boston." Yes, you could.

So here is my aspiration. To keep training, to keep the runner's high going, to complete another marathon and to (hopefully) qualify for the grand daddy of them all - Boston 2010.

Won't you join me on this journey?

In the weeks leading up the marathon I gained so much inspiration from reading stories of first time marathoners, elite racers, anyone who had a marathon goal and met it somehow. I got transfixed (okay, obsessed) by the emotional/mental/spiritual component of reaching this goal. At some point your M/E/S state has to be strong and in tact in order to get to the finish line. I learned that the meditative quality of running and the space and time that running allowed me made me calmer, more able to manage my kids, my work. I slept better, my stomach felt better. My stress was less. In essence, running made my life better and me happier.

And I hope it has done that for you too. Stay tuned as I continue to experience the highs and lows of training. And work towards a goal that may or may not be reachable. But didn't someone important once say that it's not the destination line but the journey there that counts?